Every ship you can think of’s child’s name if they’re male or female or have a gender neutral name (but Kyou and Tsukiyama should totally adopt Niji)

Touken – Yotsume, girl

Hidekane – Sunny, boy or girl or neutral

Shuuneki – Rin, genderqueer

Akiramon – Kosuke, girl

Seiaki- Kosuke, girl,

Takirona- Nashiro, girl

Nishikimi – Oshin, boy

Irimi/Koma – Fumiko, girl

Yoshimura/Ukina – Eto (oh wait)

Ayahina – Ryouko, girl

UtaRen – Asa, girl

Utatori – Renji, boy

Tsukikana – Rose, girl

Tsukichie – Kanae, neutral

Tsukikyou – Niji. That is all.

Arieto – Kaneki Ken, boy.

Uihai – Masanori, boy

Nakimiza – Chihiro, girl

Yoriko/Takeomi – Iwao, boy

Suzuhan – Yukinori, boy

Matsurie – Danuja, girl

Urisai – Hotaru, girl

Mutsurie – Ginshi, boy

Mutsuki/Kaneki – Kishou, boy

Shiraiko -Gintoki, boy

Saiko/Hsaio – Diana of Themyscira, girl

Maruchika – Kazumi, neutral

Fururize – Hisa, girl

Yoriko is pregnant and the first person she tells is Touka when they meet up for the first time in years

“Touka.” Yoriko stands across from her best friend, each of their husbands by their side.

“Yoriko.” Touka tries to adorn the tough face she always wore in high school.

“I missed you.” Yoriko wipes a tear.

“I missed you too!” Touka bursts out, throwing herself forward and embracing Yoriko. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry – I just wanted to keep you safe.”

“I know. I’m sorry i never noticed – and forced you to eat – I thought you really liked my cooking,” Yoriko confesses.

“I mean, it was the most tolerable human food I’d ever eaten,” Touka promises.

Yoriko snorts, but a smile emerges on her face.

“We watched your wedding,” Kaneki says lightly.

“From the hill overlooking the church. You were beautiful,” Touka confirms.

Yoriko claps her hands over her mouth. “Really? Oh, I wish you could have been my bridesmaid.”

“I wish you could have been mine,” Touka says, nodding to Kaneki.

Yoriko clears her throat. “Will you at least be my baby’s godmother?”

“Yoriko!” Touka gasps. “Are you – you’re pregnant!”

Yoriko nods eagerly. Behind her, Takeomi blushes.

“Congratulations,” Kaneki says weakly.

“Oh, come on.” Touka pokes Kaneki’s nose. “I’ll do it, Yoriko, if you’re our baby’s godmother.”

“Seriously?” Yoriko shrieks. “Our kids will be best friends!”

Touka hugs her again as Takeomi and Kaneki engage in a firm handshake. “Well, looks like we’ll have to be best friends, too,” Takeomi quips.

Descriptive Akiramon smut? (yes im thirsty)

AKIRAMON YASSSSS

“I’m sorry you can’t have donuts,” Akira says. Is she supposed to say that? Is it awkward?

Well, she thinks as she eyes Amon sitting on their bed, it can’t be more awkward than the two of them checking into a hotel room as Mr. and Mrs. Kusaba.

Amon shrugs. “It is what it is.”

“I suppose.” Akira walks closer and kisses him again.

He responds more forcefully than before, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. But then he pulls back.

“You don’t…you’re not disgusted kissing a ghoul?”

“You’re my friend. I don’t care what species you are,” Akira says, and somehow, despite her upbringing, she knows this is true.

Amon buries his tongue in her mouth, and Akira gasps slightly. She loves the taste of his saliva, even if he’s flavored like ghouls and humans. She loves him for how is his and all he’s suffered. For helping save Seidou and her.

She pushes him down onto the bed. “Koutarou…how far are you comfortable going?”

He cherishes the sound of his name on her lips. “As far as you want.”

“I want to make love you, Amon.” It’s not what a proper investigator would do. But Akira is done being a proper investigator. She’d rather be a good investigator.

“Are you sure?” Amon runs his hands through her flaxen hair.

She nods, and his eyes glisten. “Please do.”

Akira responds by ripping her shirt off.

Amon gasps.

“What? I know I don’t have a large chest, but it’s still something, right?” Akira sticks out her tongue.

He laughs. “Here.”

He tries to pull of his shirt, but his hands shake, and his fingers slip on the buttons.

Akira chuckles and slowly releases his shirt. She kisses his breast, and Amon sighs.

His face flushes as he realizes Akira has removed her skirt and underwear. “You…you’re beautiful.”

“So are you.” Akira smiles as his fingers explore her body. Finally, she helps tug off his pants and kisses his intimate parts.

Finally, after their bodies join and after he – responsibly – pulls out before his climax, they lay panting in rhythm, soaked in sweat and love as they stare into each other’s eyes.

“Wow,” Akira says slyly.

“You’re incredible.” Amon pulls her closer for more cuddles.

Where would the TG characters take S/O on a date

I’ve sorted the characters according to their introductory affiliation.

Anteiku/Re Affiliates

Kaneki Ken – a bookstore

Nagachika Hideyoshi – hamburger restaurant

Yoshimura Kuzen – a park to stroll in

Kamishiro Rize – a hunt

Kirishima Touka – a tunnel to practice fighting

Koma Enji – a sports game

Irimi Kaya – animal shelter

Yomo Renji – dinner and a movie

Kosaka Yoriko – A bakery

Hinami Feuguchi – butterfly garden

Nishiki Nishio – coffee shop

Nishino Kimi – a science museum

Tsukiyama Family

Tsukiyama Shuu – An exotic restaurant

Karren von Rosewald – a rose garden

Matsumae – She persuaded Mirumo to let her use his dining room.

Mirumo – his mansion

Chie Hori – someplace scenic, like the top of the tallest building in Tokyo

Clowns

Uta – art gallery

Itori – a bar

Hoito Roma – coffee shop

Nimura Furuta – a prank shop

Rio/Shikorae – a pet shop

Nico – Sephora

Donato Porpora – the top of a church bell tower

Aogiri Tree

Kirishima Ayato – an adventure messing with the Doves

Yamori – dinner

Tatara – a lavish dinner and dessert

Yoshimura Eto – dancing and debauchery

Noro – his apartment, because he’s too conspicuous outside

Miza Kusakari – a bar

Naki – to meet the White Suits

Hakatori – a fencing class

Banjou Kazuichi – a coffee shop

CCG

Amon Koutarou – A donut shop

Takizawa Seidou – A ramen shop

Mado Akira – lunch break at CCG

Houji Kousuke – an expensive restaurant

Mado Kureo – touring his quinque collection

Marude Itsuki – motorcycle show

Washuu Yoshitoki – hiking

Washuu Matsuri – shopping

Washuu Tsuneyoshi – let’s leave his blank.

Kuriowa Takeomi – a bakery

Kuriowa Iwao – a gymnasium

Aura Kiyoko – a flower market

Tanakamaru Mougan – the theater

Shinohara Yukinori – a walk on the beach

Itou Kuramoto – a practical joke book

Kurona Yasuhisa – a walk under the stars

Hajime Hazuki – breaking into CCG’s archives

Mayazumi – improv

Arima Squad

Ihei Hairu – Arima’s favorite restaurant

Arima Kishou – somewhere away from Tokyo, just for a night

Ui Koori – melon bun shop

Take Hirako – dinner and a movie

Arima Yusa – volunteering somewhere

Ihei Shio – amusement park

Souza Rikai – arcade

Suzuya Squad

Suzuya Juuzou – paint night!

Keijin Nakarai – out for drinks

Hanbee Abara – a fancy ball

Miyuki Mikage – an planetarium

Mizurou Tamaki – a diner

Quinx Squad

Yonebayashi Saiko – manga store

Shirazu Ginshi – ice cream shop!

Urie Kuki – a concert

Mutsuki Tooru – a bookstore

Hsaio Ching-Li – someplace athletic

Aura Shinsanpei – his family shrine

Higemaru Touma – candlelit dinner.

hairu and ui rapping

Hairu grabs the mic. She can’t believe she’s up here, after she and Ui lost a bet with Hirako. Now, instead of Ui’s typical karaoke, they must perform their own rap.

Hairu nods, and on cue she and Ui adorn Arima-style glasses.

Hairu takes it first. “Said little ghoul, you can’t fuck with me, If you wanted to.
These expensive, these is spiked pommel, These is bloody sword.
IXA or Owl, I can use ‘em both, I don’t wanna choose. And I’m quick, perfect my dodge, don’t get comfortable.”

Ui clears his throat. “Look, I don’t dance now, I make quinque moves. Say I don’t gotta dance, I’ll make ghouls move. If I see you and I don’t speak, that means I will fuck with you. I’m a reaper, you a worker bitch, I make bloody moves!”

Hirako motions for them to continue. A light on his phone makes it clear he’s filming, to Ui’s horror.

Hairu raises her voice. “Now Raven says he gon’ do what to who? Let’s find out and see, CCG, you know where I’m at, you know where I be.”

Ui nods. “You in the squad just to party I’m there, I get paid a fee; I be in and out them jails so much, I know they’re tired of me. Honestly, don’t give a fuck
‘Bout who ain’t fond of me.”

Hairu cuts in. “Dropped two SS in six months, what ghoul working as hard as me? I don’t bother with these ghouls, don’t let these ghouls bother me. They see medals, they say goals, Bitch, I’m who they tryna be!”

Ui pauses. “Wait, ghoul? I think you messed up.”

Kaneki’s reaction to Touka in heels <3

– He is immediately excited, if you catch my drift.

– He’s also mildly afraid that she can actually balance in those death traps. Touka is a wonderful, mysterious creature who happens to be his wife.

– He teases her that she’s now at a suitable height. Her response is to pull his face down and kiss him while he’s “short.”

– He silently admires her legs and the fact that this amazing female has chosen him, loves him. Basically, he’s grateful.

– If she fends off an attacking ghoul or two during their night out, she will absolutely stab with her heels and Kaneki will absolutely propose.

– To which she’ll reply that they’re already married, but he can’t help himself.

– He secretly hopes she loses a shoe on the stairs so he can put it back on and tell her “the shoe fits,” Cinderella style.

Michiko and Mizurou trying to get some ‘alone time’ but keeping getting interrupted by the rest of the Suzuya Squad.

In case you are not aware, readers, Koharu is Ui’s sister as described in the lovely story “Peace Sign” by @koyuki-tan. She’s pretty great, and so is the story. https://archiveofourown.org/works/12422457?view_full_work=true

Michiko Ayase wraps her arms around Mizurou and pulls him closer. His lips are soft and slick against hers, and she feels warm all over.

He brushes back her light brown hair. “Want to find a quiet place?”

He tries to render his tone confident, but his voice cracks halfway through the sentence.

Michiko chuckles. He’s so adorable. “Yes.”

Mizurou tugs him off their couch. As they exit the Suzuya Squad’s living room, Mizurou chokes and Michiko flushes to see Keijin Nakarai standing there.

“Make good choices,” he sings, brushing past them.

Mizurou sticks his tongue out at his teammate, and Michiko follows suit. Then, hand in hand, they dash in Mizurou’s room.

“Miyuki, what are you doing here?” Mizurou sputters.

“You have a perfect view of Venus,” Mikage says dreamily, staring out his window.

“Yes, and she’s not out that window.” Mizurou winks at Michiko. “Now, get out.”

Mikage obeys, and finally Michiko pulls Mizurou towards her without fear of being seen.

They fumble around, attached at the lips, when the door flies open. “Hey, help me hide some candy from Suz -”

Hanbee freezes. His soul leaves his body. Probably.

Mizurou and Michiko stare at him. They lie on his bed, rumpled and messy-haired, although – and Michiko is thankful for Hanbee’s sake – still clothed.

“Bye,” Hanbee squeaks, closing the door.

“He’s undoubtedly heading off to cry,” Mizurou says cheerfully.

“Now, where were we?” Michiko leans over to kiss Mizurou again.

What the TG characters want for Christmas

I’ve sorted the characters according to their introductory affiliation.

Anteiku/Re Affiliates

Kaneki Ken – to be safe

Nagachika Hideyoshi – to see Kaneki again

Yoshimura Kuzen – Eto’s forgiveness

Kamishiro Rize – freedom and food

Kirishima Touka – Kaneki to be free of the worm

Koma Enji – to be alive

Irimi Kaya – a puppy

Yomo Renji – His niece and nephew safe

Kosaka Yoriko – To see Touka again

Hinami Feuguchi – for everyone she loves to be happy

Nishiki Nishio – to kiss Kimi

Nishino Kimi – a world where ghouls and humans live in harmony

Tsukiyama Family

Tsukiyama Shuu – A taste of Kaneki

Karren von Rosewald – Tsukiyama’s love

Matsumae – the family’s safety

Mirumo – his son’s happiness

Chie Hori – another camera

Clowns

Uta – eyeball snacks. Maybe a kiss from Yomo.

Itori – blood wine!

Hoito Roma – to belong

Nimura Furuta – his father’s approval

Rio/Shikorae – his brother

Nico – makeup

Donato Porpora – a reunion with Amon

Aogiri Tree

Kirishima Ayato – Hinami’s coffee. Maybe Hinami.

Yamori – kagune pliers

Tatara – Houji’s head, but really his siblings back

Yoshimura Eto – the world’s obedience

Noro – life

Miza Kusakari – nothing bad to happen anymore

Naki – to see Yamori again

Hakatori – a new quinque

Banjou Kazuichi – a hug

CCG

Amon Koutarou – to be a good person

Takizawa Seidou – to be human again

Mado Akira – internal peace

Houji Kousuke – a break from murder investigators

Mado Kureo – to kill the one-eyed owl and make their kagune into his quinque

Marude Itsuki – assurance that Yoshitoki was actually his friend

Washuu Yoshitoki – a vacation

Washuu Matsuri – Urie

Washuu Tsuneyoshi – nothing good.

Kuriowa Takeomi – Yoriko’s cooking

Kuriowa Iwao – his son’s happiness

Aura Kiyoko – Aura to calm down

Tanakamaru Mougan – hairspray

Shinohara Yukinori – to see his family again

Itou Kuramoto – a practical joke book

Kurona Yasuhisa – Shiro

Hajime Hazuki – to be a renowned badass

Mayazumi – eyebrow liner

Arima Squad

Ihei Hairu – Arima’s smile

Arima Kishou – atonement

Ui Koori – Hairu resurrected

Take Hirako – Shio and Rikai’s resurrection

Arima Yusa – a peaceful world

Ihei Shio – a pet reindeer

Souza Rikai – flowers

Suzuya Squad

Suzuya Juuzou – Mr. Shinohara to awaken

Keijin Nakarai – recognition

Hanbee Abara – to marry Suzuya

Miyuki Mikage – an alien encounter

Mizurou Tamaki – a girlfriend

Quinx Squad

Yonebayashi Saiko – no one dying anymore

Shirazu Ginshi – Haru’s healing

Urie Kuki – Mutsuki’s safety

Mutsuki Tooru – to be safe and happy

Hsaio Ching-Li – Saiko’s affection

Aura Shinsanpei – Kaneki’s head, or his aunt’s approval

Higemaru Touma – to save the world

Nico adopts a homeless human child and spends christmas with them 😏

“I like your makeup,” says a ratty-looking girl.

Nico turns around. She could eat her, but, like, kids? Especially one this thin, who complimented her makeup? Nico thinks not.

“Thank you.”

The girl smiles, a bit shakily. “Do you have money please? I’m hungry.”

“Do you have a family?” Nico asks carefully.

“Ghouls ate them.” The girl wraps her arms around herself to ward off the December chill.

“Why didn’t you go to CCG, then?” Nico can’t believe she’s saying this.

“Daddy liked ghouls. He didn’t believe in killing them.” The girl pouts. “But now I’m very cold. I think everyone thinks I’m dead anyways.”

“You can…come home with me for tonight, at least,” Nico suggests. Nico, why? “I can give you food and a warm place to sleep. Besides, it’s Christmas Eve.”

“I know.” The girl looks sad. “I miss my parents.”

“Then come with me so you don’t freeze.” Nico extend her hand, and the girl takes it. Her fingers are like icicles.

Nico stops to buy cookies and milk for the girl and coffee for herself.

The girl gasps as soon s they enter Nico’s apartment. An elaborate tree too big for the room, stuffed with gaudy decorations, stands there. “I love it!”

“I’ll use the couch. You can have my bed,” Nico tells her. “Besides, Santa won’t care if an adult sees him.”

“Santa doesn’t know where I am,” says the child, greedily snatching the cookies.

“He has his ways.” Nico helps feed the chid, and even gives her soap to bathe herself. As the kid showers, Nico sends frantic text message after text message to her fellow clowns.

Adopted a human.

Get me presents.

Presents to give to her.

All of you.

You too, Donato. If you eat her, I’ll eat you.

Do I have to? Souta replies.

You’re the Bureau Director. Of all of us, you’re the richest, Uta says.

Get her fancy makeup. Nico sighs. Tomorrow will be a happy-ish day for this weird human if it’s the last thing she does.

Urie drunkenly confesses his love to Mutsuki + having to face him the next day

“Mutshuki, hi.” Urie waves his pinky two inches from Mutsuki’s eyes.

“Um, hi?”

“Your coat’sh very nish,” he says.

“Oh? Thanks.” Mutsuki wraps the wool tighter around himself.

“I jusht feel – I really feel – like I need to tell you.” Urie’s voice rises. Tears fill his eyes. “It’sh my biggesht shecret but I have to tell you.”

Musuki’s heart pounds. Poor Urie. He only came to this bar because Urie texted him EMERGENCY COME ALONE. And now it appears something is weighing his friend down. “Of course, I’ll listen. It’s awful being alone.”

“It ish.” Urie begins to cry. “I don’t want to be alone. That’sh why I have to tell you.”

“Tell me what, Urie? Whatever it is, I’m here for you,” Mutsuki assures him.

“Mutshuki? I love you sho much it hurtsh.” He sobs louder. “You’re shuch a w-w-wonderful pershon and sho nish to me and I love you and want to marry you.”

Mutsuki is dead white. “Urie, how much have you drank?”

“Not enough to convinsh you I love you.” Urie sniffles. Tears and snot dribble down his face.

“Let’s get you home. And then we can talk more,” Mutsuki says.

He lifts Urie up and calls a cab for the Chateau. He refuses to feel until Urie is tucked away in bed, a bucket besides him in case he vomits.

He’s…shocked.

He can’t believe Urie likes him.

Someone as rigid and blunt and savage as Urie…loves Mutsuki? The coward? The liar?

Mutsuki feels unworthy. He wishes Urie really knew him.

The next morning, Mutsuki is awakened by a frantic Urie. His eyes are bloodshot and there’s drool dried around Urie’s mouth. “Urie?”

“Did I – is my dream accurate? Did I tell you my deepest secret?” Urie gasps.

“Well, yes?” Mutsuki hesitates.

Urie collapses to his knees. “Mutsuki, I’m sorry. I hope I never made you uncomfortable, and I apologize if I did. I…I do love you, but anything I can do to make you happy, even if that’s not loving you, I’ll do it.”

Mutsuki hesitates again. Then his arms are around Urie. “No, please don’t stop, even if I tell you my deepest, awfullest secrets.”

“I won’t,” Urie promises.