Haise being affectionate father figure to Saiko and Saiko calling him “Maman”

o.O I haven’t seen much for this pairing. Thanks for sending it in!

“Maman, you haven’t hugged me today.”

“Saiko, I hugged you this morning before work.” Sasaki looks up from his computer with a start.

“That was four hours ago. Long enough to forget.” Saiko puckers her lips. “I’m tired and hungry and I want lunch.”

Sasaki wraps an arm around her. “Satisfied?”

“Nah.” Saiko peers at his computer. “I want to know what you’re working on so much you’d forget lunch with me.”

“I didn’t forget. You’re 15 minutes early.” Sasaki pulls her close and points. “I’m tracking some suspicious activity in our Rc scanners.”

“Interesting.” Saiko yawns. “I’m hungry.”

She pauses. “Wait. Our Rc scanners?”

“Indeed.” Sasaki looks troubled.

Is someone at CCG a ghoul? Part ghoul? Saiko frowns. “This is definitely time for an ice-cream date instead of lunch. Come on. Up. Confess your woes to Saiko.”

Haise allows himself to be pulled out of CCG by this blue-haired breeze.

Alternate scenario where Kaneki/Sasaki never left the CCG therefore not causing pain among the Quinx and Mutsuki is less psychotic and more stable (so he is sans knife crazy) in his romantic feelings for Sasaki/Kaneki and he tells Kaneki/Sasaki about his romantic feelings for him before Touka does. Kaneki accepts Mutsuki’s love because this is the first time someone honestly and genuinely told him they loved him. Mutsuki expresses low self esteem and Sasaki/Kaneki cheers them up

Mutsuki sans knife is much healthier Mucchy.

“H – Haise?” Mutsuki raps on his squad leader’s door. He looks over his shoulder. Saiko nods at him, Higemaru offers two thumbs up, and Urie begrudgingly nods encouragement.

“Mutsuki? What is it?” Sasaki looks up from his book of haikus.

Mutsuki looks at his list of suggestions. All the Quinx wrote out what he ought to say:

Saiko – are you a virgin?

Skipping that one, Mutsuki sees Urie’s.

Hi.

Come on. He growls.

Tell him what he’s done for you – Aura S.

“I just wanted to thank you,” Mutsuki blurts out. “For helping me grow stronger. For caring about me – about all of us. You’re the kindest person I know – and I care about you m-m-more than a little.” He blinks, surprised at the tears in his eyes. “I love you, Sensei.”

“Mucchan.” Sasaki’s eyes practically fall out of his head. “I – I – I don’t know what to say.”

“I’m sorry,” Mutsuki squeaks.

“No, I mean – no one has ever told me they loved me. Not without hitting me, at least.” Sasaki’s eyes cloud over at the foggy memories of his mother.

“I wouldn’t hit you.”

“I know.” Sasaki grabs Mutsuki’s hands. “I care about you a lot too, Mutsuki.” He kisses Mutsuki’s cheek, and Mutsuki lets out a happy gasp.

“You – you mean my past doesn’t bother you?” It hasn’t been long since Mutsuki confessed everything to Sasaki, and Sasaki held him in an embrace.

“No.”

“I’m not grotesque to you?”

“Never. I love you.” Sasaki swallows. “I wish I could take back everything that hurt you.”

“And I would do the same for you.”

“I know you would.” Sasaki pats Mutsuki on the shoulder. “You deserve love, Mutsuki.”

Mutsuki kisses him in response.

Rewrite of Touka/Kaneki wedding scene with Kaneki and Mutsuki get happily married instead of Touka and Kaneki

“Do you think there are too many flowers?” Urie Kuki asks, squinting at the venue.

“What blasphemy did I just hear? There are never too many flowers!” Tsukiyama Shuu gasps from behind a pillar of roses.

“The cake is all set.” Yonebayashi Saiko skips in.

“Mutsuki’s gonna faint.” Nishiki Nishio laughs.

“Bets on who faints first.” Kirishima Ayato shouts. “I bet Kaneki!”

“Kaneki’s stronger than that now,” Touka informs her brother. She uses her ukaku to fly up to the top of the church to arrange a wreath of orchids.

“Put me down as Kaneki,” Aura Shinsanpei says sheepishly. Ayato nods with approval.

But as luck would have it, when Mutsuki appears down the aisle with Arima at his side, Kaneki’s knees do buckle. Ayato and Aura slap high-fives in the midst of the ceremony.

“This is so extravagant,” Mutsuki admits to Kaneki during their reception. “I had no idea you had such a lavish friend.”

“Neither did I for a while,” Kaneki admits. He reaches for Mutsuki’s hand. “Are you happy?”

“Very.” Mutsuki feels warm and secure and safe.

“Good.” Kaneki kisses him.

“Give back my glasses!”

Their attention immediately turns to the dance floor, where a very merry Yomo is prancing about with Nishiki’s spectacles.

Mutsuki laughs. He already loves all of his husband’s wild, crazy friends.

Ayato, Hinami, Mutsuki, and Urie all wind up trapped in a building in the 24th ward together. Their respective loved ones are desperate to find them.

“Why am I here!” screams Mutsuki, pounding at the collapsed rubble. He wanted to find Sensei, not be trapped with these demons and an overzealous Urie. “With ghouls!”

“You’re the one who called my sister a slut! Prepare to die.” Ayato releases his ukaku.

“Touch him and I’ll rip out your entrails,” snarls Urie.

“Can you all calm down?” Yotsume steps between the two. “We’re here. We need to find a way out, and we can only do that by cooperating.”

“With you?” Urie is aghast.

“Hinami is nice, asshat,” Ayato taunts.

“Unlike you?”

“Sure.” Ayato’s ukaku vanishes. “Okay, Hinami.”

“If Kaneki loves them, they must be good,” Hinami reminds him. She smiles at Urie. “I like your moles, and you – I like your eyepatch. It reminds me of Oniichan.”

“Sensei?” Mutsuki touches his eyepatch. “Really?”

“Yes.” Hinami appears utterly sincere, which confuses Urie.

She seems so sweet.

Then again, so did Haise.

————————————————

“It’s been three hours.” Saiko paces above ground. “That’s it. I’m going down into those tunnels.”

“Suppose ghouls eat us?” Higemaru says.

“Suppose they ate Mucchy and Urie! Suppose they’re captured and lonely!” Saiko waves her hand. “You’re all following me.”

“Yes.” Hsaio shoves Aura forward.

————————————————

“Three hours, and nothing?” Touka stops her pacing. “I’m gonna go there any haul Ayato’s ass back myself.”

Kaneki can tell that beneath her bravado, she’s worried. Suppose there were more than two intruders?

“Let’s go look.”

————————————————-

“Wait, so we all lost parents.” Ayato leans back. “To this dumb war.”

Mutsuki shivers.

He didn’t, Hinami thinks. But now may not be the time to mention it.

“For a dumb war, you sure participated eagerly,” Urie says sourly.

“Do you even like killing us?” Ayato wonders.

Urie sighs.

“I don’t think so.” Hinami pauses. “Like we don’t like killing them.”

“Hinami, I had to do your killing for you,” Ayato says with a laugh.

Mutsuki’s eyes widen. So she, Yotsume, is weak like him.

But she’s strong, too. She’s SS.

Hinami smiles at him, and he returns the smile.

Bam! The rocks they’ve given up on removing are shoveled away by a giant hand-shaped kagune.

“Saiko!” shouts Urie.

The opposite side of the tunnel collapses now. Kaneki and Touka stand there, bruised and exhausted.

Saiko waves. “Looks like we beat your rescue, Maman.”

Urie and Shirazu where Urie is hella drunk and tells Shirazu that he actually loves the quinx squad and that they are like family to him. Shirazu is touched

“Shira – Shira – Sha-gu-gu,” Urie slurs, grabbing his Quinx friend.

“Urie, have you been drinking?” Shirazu struggles not to fall over.

“No.” Urie giggles.

Urie doesn’t giggle. Shirazu groans.

“Let’s get you to bed.” Shirazu half-guides, half-drags Urie into his room. “I’ll leave the trash by your bedside.”

“Sho nice.”

“I’ll get water, too.”

“Wait!” Urie snatches Shirazu’s wrist. “Do you know why I went out sloshing? ’Cause I love you all and I can’t handle it. I…I know I shay I hate you all, but I don’t and is very confushing. Mutshuki is cute and shweet and Shaiko is funny and you are jusht sho generoush and Haish is a good cook.”

“Urie, we love you too.” Shirazu swallows the lump in his throat and hugs his friend.

Urie promptly vomits on his shirt, but Shirazu doesn’t care.

The next morning, Urie staggers out of his room. “Huh? What time is it?”

“You’re hungover, so it’s sleepy time for you.” Shirazu has been waiting with aspirin.

“Huh. Why are you being nice? Do you want something?” Urie sniffs before crawling back into bed.

Shirazu curses silently that he didn’t press record.

Can you do Kaneki/Sasaki returning to his CCG family and being forgiven by them and welcomed with open arms? I need this

I need open arms now too after that … knife to the heart that was 143.

Go, Touka had urged him. You can’t live a lie anymore.

And here he is. Standing before the Quinx – Mutsuki is held back from his arms by Urie and Aura – before Suzuya Squad, before Nimura Furuta.

“I…I know I hurt you all.” He looks into everyone’s eyes, except Furuta.

“Yeah, and you hurt my aunt,” snaps Aura.

“It wasn’t him,” Hirako Take says from behind Kaneki.

“Huh?” Aura pales.

“It was me.”

Aura’s face blanches, and Shio, Rikai, and Yusa leap in front of their leader.

“Calm down, tall angry man,” begs Shio. Despite herself, Saiko laughs.

“Why?” Ui spits.

“Because Arima…Arima killed himself,” Kaneki whispers.

“That sounds convenient.” Iwao Kuriowa cocks an eyebrow.

“It’s the truth,” Yusa snaps.

“We all saw it,” says Rikai.

“Urie, Mutsuki, Saiko…I know I hurt you. The world has enough hurt in it; I need to stop the hurting.” Kaneki wipes his eyes. “I’m not on the ghoul’s side anymore. I’m not on the human’s side anymore. I’m on the side of working together.”

Furuta scoffs. “Are you buying this shit?”

“Work together, like in one-eyed ghouls? Not the failures we are.” Hsaio points to herself and Furuta.

“Exactly!” Shio beams at her.

“What?!” yells Higemaru.

“Haise…” Suzuya steps forward. “Just so you know, I’m supposed to kill you now.”

“Please don’t,” Mutsuki says, and Saiko prepares to launch her kagune.

“I don’t want to,” Suzuya finishes. How can he kill the only other person who looked at him with Shinohara’s eyes? “So if there will be more fighting, it won’t come from Suzuya Squad.”

“Or the Quinx,” Urie says.

“You can’t be serious.” Furuta laughs nervously.

“We are. Also, we actually like Haise, Director.” Hsaio plants her hands on her hips. “Let’s confess everything. Right here, right now.”

“No.”

“So there is something to confess?” Hirako challenges.

Furuta knows he’s caught, but Kaneki steps forward. “I’m not going to hurt you, Furuta.”

“Mamman!” Saiko launches herself into his arms, and Urie and Mutsuki follow with Suzuya.

“Oh, what the hell.” Aura joins the rest of the Quinx. So his Squad founder didn’t maim his aunt. He’ll settle a duel with Hirako later. Right now, he sees love pouring from everyone towards Kaneki Ken, and he wants some of this love.

Saiko/Hsaio/Tarzan

Anonymous asked: After that Mulan-Mutsurie mashup, I dare you to write Disney-film mashups for: Ayahina, Touken, Takirona, Akiramon, Uihai, Nishikimi, Tsukikana, Arieto, and Shiraiko. Ty and good night.

Anonymous asked: Can you also do saikohsiao utaren and suzuhan for the fairytale Disney mashup? Bless your heart

I’ll be posting these once a day (probably) until the list is done!

Mutsurie/Mulan: here.

Ayahina/Sleeping Beauty: here.

Uihai/Tangled: here.

Akiramon/The Hunchback of Notre Dame: here.

Tskukikana/The Little Mermaid: here.

Nishikimi/Snow White: here.

Takirona/Frozen: here.

Shiraiko/Beauty and the Beast: here.

Arieto/Cinderella: here.

Touken/Aladdin: here.

Utaren/Hercules: here.

Suzuhan/Pocahontas: here.

Come with me now to see my world.

“You mean you’ve never seen a movie before?” Yonebayashi Saiko is appalled.

“Well, they weren’t going to help me be a better investigator.” Hsaio Ching-Li frowns.

“Anime? Manga? Surely you’ve at least heard of Gintama?” Saiko gasps. “We need to teach you. Urie!”

“Huh?”

“It’s really okay,” Hsaio says, her cheeks red.

Saiko ignores her. “Get your ass over here. We’re teaching Hsaio about life!”

She grabs Hsaio’s hands, and Hsaio feels a warmness in her belly she’s never felt before.

Where there’s beauty beyond your dreams.

"Dancing!” Hsaio laughs. “It’s like battle, but to music.”

“Exactly!” Saiko points her finger in the air.

Then Hsaio grabs her, and she and Saiko whirl around before the projector.

“Whoa!” Higemaru holds up his hands as they crash into him and he, like a domino, spins into the projector.

Urie walks in to see three of his favorite people collapsed on the floor next to a broken projector. But they’re not hurt – they’re laughing too hard to stand.

Can you feel the things I feel right now, with you?

“This is my favorite manga.” Saiko flips through the pages of Gintama. “I’m obsessed, and you should be too.”

Hsaio is obsessed, but not with the manga. Yet. Saiko’s tastes haven’t let her down yet.

The Quinx are probably the only people who could understand half-ghoulhood. Sometimes Hsaio debates telling Saiko.

But she needs Saiko to love her.

“Hey. Pay attention!” Saiko giggles, and several pages fall out of the manga.

"Oh no!” Hsaio grabs the papers – but they’re not part of the manga at all. They’re drawings of her, of Hsaio, as an anime character.

“You’re a knight,” Saiko says cheerfully. She looks mildly embarrassed that in one, Hsaio has hearts for eyes.

When she raises her gaze, she sees Hsaio eye-level with her.

Take my hand, there’s a world I need to know.

Saiko struggles home after a long day of meetings. She’s tired and cranky and she hates Furuta and Inspector Bowl Cut, but what else is new?

“Saiko!” Hsaio leaps out from around the corner, sweeps Saiko off her feet, and kisses her. She has a rose in one hand. Just like she read in Saiko’s manga.

Saiko blinks.

“I – I’m sorry.” Shame courses through Hsaio. She just wanted to make Saiko, the girl who has opened up so many new worlds for her, happy. If someone has never treated her like a princess, Hsaio will be the knight who does.

“No, wait.” Saiko draws Hsaio’s face back to hers.

“Ahem.”

Urie, Mutsuki, Aura, and Higemaru stand in the hallway, grinning from ear to ear.

‘rue island two: seidou makes petty comments at urie for hours’ p l e a s e

soutasnotebook:

Alternative title: The Roast of the Quinx.

“Was this really Maman’s plan?” Saiko tugs at the door. She and her fellow Quinx are trapped in a small room with Akira Mado, Amon Koutarou, and Seidou Takizawa.

“It sucks. Of course it’s Kaneki’s plan,” Urie grumbles.

“I brought you a shirt.” Seidou tosses him a white tee reading This is our get-along shirt.

“Fuck off,” Urie tells him.

“With ladies present? I think not.” Seidou sniffs.

Urie splutters. “You know I didn’t mean it that way.”

Saiko winks at Akira.

“Make your green goblin friend apologize to Akira.” Seidou crosses his arms.

“Seidou, he was only doing what he thought was right,” warns Amon.

Mutsuki’s eyes fill with tears. “I – I don’t think I’ve ever known that.”

“I forgive you, Mucchan.” Akira smiles at him.

“I don’t. I don’t forgive a one of ya’s. Particularly the purple brat.” Seidou scowls.

“Why me?” Urie clenches his fists.

“Because you remind me of me.” Seidou giggles. “I’m your future. Bah!”

He sticks out his tongue. “Have you framed out yet? That’s possible, right?”

Urie’s face now matches his hair.

“Of course he hasn’t,” Aura snaps.

Hsaio coughs. Saiko stares at the floor.

“Urie?” Higemaru gapes at his hero.

“What happened? Did you try to eat your friends?” Seidou cackles. “Omg, to have been a fly on the wall, watching you eat your words.”

“Shut up.”

“In all fairness, he just attacked me with his kagune, not his teeth.” Saiko says lamely.

Mutsuki’s mouth falls open.

“Urie Kuki,” Akira says firmly. “How many people knew?”

“Just us three,” Hsaio says.

“He’s a ghoul! Their First-Class investigator’s a ghoul!” Seidou rolls around on the floor.

Outside the room, Tsukiyama smirks at Kaneki. “I think it’s going well.”

@hamliet @mistystarshine

Of course Tsukiyama was inspired by the grandmother in Mulan. 😉

“You’re a salty bastard, you know that?” Urie spits.

Mutsuki, however, smiles sweetly at Seidou. “I know what it’s like to lose yourself, too.”

“I hear you do.” Seidou holds up his hand for a high five. “Let’s be best friends.”

Mutsuki returns the high five, and Urie scowls.

“Told you we should have used ownership rights over Amon.” Saiko can’t resist throwing a jab at Urie. Amon smiles at her.

“You’re pretty amazing, Yonebayashi.”

“Am I?” She blushes.

“He’s my boyfriend,” Akira says with a wink.

Saiko laughs. “Oooookay. Lucky Miss Mado.”

“You can date Aura if you like tall men,” Seidou calls.

“Ew! She’s like my sister!” screams Aura.

Seidou laughs even more.

“Why are we still here?” whines Higemaru.

“Because Kaneki wants us to sing Kumbaya. And work through our issues so we don’t kill each other.” Seidou shrugs.

“I thought it was a good idea,” Amon says.

“I didn’t, but that didn’t stop me from agreeing.” Seidou grins.

“I hate you.” Urie crosses his arms.

Seidou gasps and sidles up to Urie. “No, you don’t! I will be a good Seidou and a good role model for the new ghoul. I promise. If you haven’t eaten your fellow Quinx yet, you’re already doing better than me.”

He looks sad for a moment, and Urie pities him. If Saiko hadn’t saved him, would he have done the same?

Urie awkwardly rests his hand on Seidou. “There, there?”

“Touch me again and I eat you.”

Urie pokes him.

Seidou pouts, but then they hear a key in the lock.

“Quick!” Seidou waves his hands.

Kaneki opens the door to see the Quinx and Investigators locked arm in arm, swaying and singing Kumbaya.

He hesitates.

“That’s a no.” Tsukiyama shuts the door and relocks it.

“You asshole!” Seidou yelps.

‘i kinda want to see touka as “mom” to the quinxes. that would be funny as hell.’ also please. I made unnatural sounds reading that

Lol yessssss.

Aura Shinsanpei is slouched on the couch, reading the latest articles on the ghoul-human truce, when someone pushed his bangs out of his eyes. “Hey!”

“Sorry,” says a heavily pregnant Kirishima Touka, “But you have a pretty face. You should show it more.”

He blushes.

“Aw,” teases Higemaru.

“Are you drinking more coffee? You don’t need it.” Touka tries to tug the coffee away. “Holy hell, what are you drawing?”

“Monsters,” Higemaru says brightly.

Touka is partially fascinated, partially repelled by the twisted mass of limbs and eyeballs Higa has sketched. “If you ever show them to our kid, I’ll make sure you wind up looking like that.”

“I drew a new ending for our manga!” Saiko rushes downstairs. “Miss Touka, you’re part of it.”

“Am I?” Touka sounds scared.

“She made you the witch who saves the day,” Hsaio assures her. “And the real reason we came down is that Urie won’t stop working out.”

“He’s being macho.” Saiko scowls. “He doesn’t know how to handle peace time.”

“I’ll have a talk.” Surely their kid cannot be more difficult than these ghoul-human hybrids. Touka stomps upstairs, where Mutsuki is counting how many pushups Urie can do in one minute.

“You’ve been working out for three hours. Soon you’ll just be one giant muscle cell.”

“Yes, Mom.” Urie rolls his eyes.

“Eh? I can still whoop your ass, Oreo Cookie.” Touka ignites her kakugans.

Mutsuki smiles shyly at her. He’s still scared she secretly hates him. “Is the baby moving today?”

Touka pokes her stomach as her eyes return to normal. “Yep.”

“Can I feel it?” Mutsuki is terrified, but Touka told him to face everything he was terrified of ‘within reason.’ “Oooh.”

Urie skittles out, but Touka yells, “You get your butt back in here and feel Kaneki’s kid too, Cookie!”

“And change my attitude while I’m at it?” Urie bats his lashes, which in Touka’s opinion, are way too long for a boy.

“You know it.”

‘rue island two: seidou makes petty comments at urie for hours’ p l e a s e

Alternative title: The Roast of the Quinx.

“Was this really Maman’s plan?” Saiko tugs at the door. She and her fellow Quinx are trapped in a small room with Akira Mado, Amon Koutarou, and Seidou Takizawa.

“It sucks. Of course it’s Kaneki’s plan,” Urie grumbles.

“I brought you a shirt.” Seidou tosses him a white tee reading This is our get-along shirt.

“Fuck off,” Urie tells him.

“With ladies present? I think not.” Seidou sniffs.

Urie splutters. “You know I didn’t mean it that way.”

Saiko winks at Akira.

“Make your green goblin friend apologize to Akira.” Seidou crosses his arms.

“Seidou, he was only doing what he thought was right,” warns Amon.

Mutsuki’s eyes fill with tears. “I – I don’t think I’ve ever known that.”

“I forgive you, Mucchan.” Akira smiles at him.

“I don’t. I don’t forgive a one of ya’s. Particularly the purple brat.” Seidou scowls.

“Why me?” Urie clenches his fists.

“Because you remind me of me.” Seidou giggles. “I’m your future. Bah!”

He sticks out his tongue. “Have you framed out yet? That’s possible, right?”

Urie’s face now matches his hair.

“Of course he hasn’t,” Aura snaps.

Hsaio coughs. Saiko stares at the floor.

“Urie?” Higemaru gapes at his hero.

“What happened? Did you try to eat your friends?” Seidou cackles. “Omg, to have been a fly on the wall, watching you eat your words.”

“Shut up.”

“In all fairness, he just attacked me with his kagune, not his teeth.” Saiko says lamely.

Mutsuki’s mouth falls open.

“Urie Kuki,” Akira says firmly. “How many people knew?”

“Just us three,” Hsaio says.

“He’s a ghoul! Their First-Class investigator’s a ghoul!” Seidou rolls around on the floor.

Outside the room, Tsukiyama smirks at Kaneki. “I think it’s going well.”