I’d like you to imagine Furuta walking up and down his office with one hand on his hips yelling along to look what you made me do and then a younger office person comes in like “sir you asked for me but I probably shouldn’t”

“Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time,” Furuta croons. Well, he will do it. Or, well, Kaneki will do it because the loser can’t do anything on his own. Same thing, really.

“I’ve got a list of names and yours is in red underlined!”  Furuta claps his hands. “I check i once, then I check it twice, oh!”  

He spins around, trying to imitate the dance that goddess Taylor has done in her video. He imagines making all the CCG wear I ❤ KW shirts.

He’s whispering “I don’t trust nobody and nobody trusts me,” wiggling his hips and letting the glory of villain Taylor electrify his bloodstream when he hears a gasp.

“Sir?” Ui looks ready to die. “You asked for me, but I probably shouldn’t.”

“Ui!” Furuta crows, dragging Ui inside. This crony would be the first to wear his T-shirt if it meant Hairu returned. “Look what you made me do!”

Ui is even worse of a dancer than Furuta. 

Furuta holds up his hand like a phone. “I’m sorry, the old Ui can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Oh, ‘cuz he’s dead!”

Ui tries not to cry or faint as Furuta continues dancing around him.