1. So it’s no secret that I really wanted Uta’s darkest secret to be that he is the original One-Eyed King. However, since this looks lesssssss likely atm, we’ll try something else. But! This is the headcanon I desperately wanted.

2. Uta’s darkest secret is that he once helped Arima Kishou, even knowing that Arima killed Renji’s sister. You see, Uta has known about the Washuu Garden for a long time, and done nothing. That the very people who have oppressed ghouls are ghouls themselves, who rape and kill and use children like pawns in a bid to become human, is too much despair for Uta to bear. So he helped Arima, just once, get out of a tough situation. It still felt like a betrayal of his friend, though.

Sometimes he thinks of telling Renji. But he’s almost more scared of Renji’s forgiveness than his rage.

– Itori is the maid of honor and Yomo the best man, obviously. 

– Nico and Roma have wormed their way into being bridesmaids.

– Donato offered to perform the marriage, but upon his s/o’s disapproval, Uta allows Kaneki to do it instead.

– It’s a brief, unconventional wedding. I don’t think Uta or his s/o would want a crowded, fancy wedding. Though both are dressed up, I doubt they are in traditional attire. 

– Touka and the rest of :Re are involved, of course, in setting up a small celebration. 

– Uta is probably fed eyes instead of cake. Whether his s/o is fed eyes or cake depends on their species. 

– There’s a lot of humor. Uta and his s/o adore weird jokes, and they coerce Kaneki into including them in the ceremony. 

I wouldn’t put it past Uta to bleach his hair, tbh. 

You are correct. The world should always remember this.