“Urie, you’re not paying attention.” Saiko comes up behind her boyfriend and wraps her arms around him. “Why are you a grumpus today?”

Urie groans. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not!” Saiko jumps onto his lab and tickles under his chin. 

“Stop!” Urie shrieks. Ever since his girlfriend found out he was ticklish, he’s been in hell.

Actually, he’s been in hell over guilt for not stopping Furuta sooner, but Saiko doesn’t need to know that.

“What, are you sad you’re a full ghoul? It’s not like you ever enjoyed food anyways. Now you can live on protein alone, just like you always wanted.” Saiko sticks out her tongue. 

“I’m afraid I’ll drag you down with me,” he blurts out.

“Huh?” Saiko frowns.

“Look how inactive we were on Furuta. What if – what if I go crazy – and you follow me – into the ghoul life?” 

Saiko’s hands meet her hips. “Ooookay. Where do I even begin. For starters, Urie, many ghouls are wonderful people, present company included. For second, the worst thing about being a full ghoul would be a lack of sugar. But you never know with science. Maybe I’d be able to eat sugar again.”

“I know,” he mutters.

“Good. What will cheer you up? Marriage?” Saiko shrugs. “City hall is open.”

“Come off it!” Urie gasps. But his heart trembles. 

When they’re cuddling later, he has to ask, “Did you mean it? Would you marry me?”

“Of course.” Saiko rolls over to smile at him. 

“Do you wanna marry me, then?” Urie’s eyes are huge. He did not intend to ask this today. Someday, in the distant future. 

Saiko giggles. “Yes. You know, you’re more like Takeomi than you realize.”

“Break up!” Urie howls, and she hits him with her pillow. 

Ooh this should be interesting. 

“Urie!” Saiko holds up bags of gummy bears and gummy worms. “Can we get these?”

Urie stares at her. People actually want to eat childhood friends and insects? “Sometimes, this is why I sympathize with ghouls.”

“You know you don’t,” Saiko huffs, shoving the bags back on the shelves to hurry after Urie. “Lemme guess, you’re looking for protein? Brotein?”

“Yes! We need it.” Urie throws the leanest meat he can find into their cart.

“I’m not a bro!” Saiko sticks her chest out at him. “Can’t you at least compromise and get us hamburger meat? We can make cheeseburgers!” 

She clasps her hands together.

“No.” He heads to the protein shake section next.

Saiko shakes her head in horror. “Oh my god, haven’t you heard of flavor? Sugar? Salt? The five basic tastes, at least? How do you find everything that matches none of these?” 

“Promotions taste better!” He squeaks. 

He really shouldn’t have. 

“Oh-ho.” Saiko plants her hands on her hips. “I see how it is.”

“Saiko -”

“Shut up, silly boy. We are getting flavor if it’s the last thing I do. And with you, it might be.” Saiko flounces off on her own. 

They shop on their own, and when they meet up at the checkout line, Urie manages to persuade her to remove the gummies but not the ice cream cake or chips. She accepts his surrender on protein shakes but not the meat, because hey, she has the perfect spices now.

As they walk home, Saiko elbows him. “Together, we make a pretty great pair, don’t we?”

Urie giggles. “Yeah.”

“Did you just giggle?” Saiko holds her phone aloft. “Why didn’t I record this? I have blackmail material!”

“Don’t ruin my stellar reputation.” Urie sniffs, but she can hear the smile in his voice. 

“Well, is kissing me allowed if you want your stellar reputation?” She juts out her lower lip.

Urie’s heart palpitates. “What?”

“I know! I’ll kiss you!” Saiko plants her lips on his.

He kisses her back. Because she’s right. They make a great pair.