Request! A cute little story about how the other q-squad members meet Touka for the first time when they inevitably pair up to fight dragoneki and they think she is beautiful. Then later the find out she is Sasaki’s wife and they’re all like “HOLY FUCK” except Saiko who is screaming “FUCK YEAH!” (Couldn’t get this scenario out of my head lol)

“She’s so cute,” Hsaio whispers to Saiko, watching the little ghoul bark out orders to the rest of Sasaki’s GOAT.

Saiko nods eagerly. She’ll gladly follow this badass lady into battle.

“Alright, Yonebayashi.” Touka puts her hands on her hips. “Let’s save your Maman.”

Higemaru giggles and blushes like a fool.

“What are you staring at? Go back up your squad,” Touka orders. But Higa can see relief in her eyes, relief that they too care about her friend Kaneki.

“What should I do?” Urie Kuki approaches.

“You stay with me and Tsukiyama. We’re gonna distract this beast while Yonebayashi uses her kagune to cut it out.” Touka and Tsukiyama activate their kagunes.

“Oh, and please do something about your green hair friend and his dramatic counterpart!” Touka adds.

“Mutsuki?” Urie’s eyes widen. “I haven’t seen him all day.”

“He’s not back?” Touka looks unsettled. Relieved, but unhappy all at once.

“Let’s focus.” Tsukiyama lifts his koukaku. “Let’s see if Quinxes are all they cracked up to be.”

“My kagune is bigger,” Urie snaps.

Touka can’t resist a laugh, even in all this despair. She sends shards of Rc cells into the dragon. I’ll rescue you yet. “Ken was right about you.”

Hsaio and Higemaru swoop in and deal the first blows to the dragon’s neck.

Saiko fashions her kagune into a claw and sinks deep, deep into the dragon’s flesh. It screams, but Touka keeps firing Rc shards, and Tsukiyama and Urie protect her from any falling debris.

“GOT HIM!” Saiko howls. She rips Kaneki Ken’s limp body from the dragon. It begins to fall, and Hsaio and Higa grab for her.

“Look out!” Touka uses her ukaku to fly for Saiko, at the same time –

no –

Aura Shinsanpei flies for her. “Get the asshole. I’ll get her!”

Touka obeys as Mutsuki scrambles up to Urie. “What happened?! Why are you working with – with her? Don’t you know she’s the reason Sensei left?”

Tsukiyama laughs as Touka and Aura touch back onto the ground, one cradling Kaneki, the other holding Saiko. “She’s not the reason at all. But she may be the reason he lives thus far.”

“Huh?” Urie frowns.

“Tsukiyama!”

Tsukiyama, of course, ignores her. “Touka and Kaneki are married.”

Mutsuki gulps and has the decency to look guilty. Aura flushes.

“HOLY FUCK!” yells Urie.

“No way!” Higemaru does a happy dance.

“That gives me hope,” says Hsaio.

“FUCK YEAH!” Saiko wraps Touka and Maman in a hug.

Touka laughs. Perhaps, so long as Mutsuki isn’t still trying to kill her, she can get used to Kaneki’s strange, strange family.

mucchan got drunk and urie had give him a piggyback ride to his bed, then wouldn’t fall asleep unless urie didnt cuddle with him :3

Awwwwwwww.

“Urie-san. U – Urie-shan.” Mutsuki slings his arms around Urie and spins in front of him. “Love me!”

“I do, Tooru.” Urie smiles. He’s a bit tipsy himself – okay, more than a bit. But Mutsuki probably won’t remember this in the morning.

“I can’t walk.” Mutsuki slumps over to rest his head on Urie’s chest.

“We’re almost to our door, Mucchan.”

“No!” Mutsuki tightens his grip on Urie’s shirt. “Love me! Don’t make me walk.”

Urie fights back a grin. “Okay, then.” He lifted Mustuki onto him piggyback style.

“I love you, Kuki,” Mutsuki murmurs, tightening his grip on Urie’s shoulders.

“Don’t throw up on me, please.” Urie marches into the Chateau, up the stairs and into Mutsuki’s bedroom. “Here we are!”

He lays Mutuski on his bed, but Mutsuki shakes his head wildly. “Don’t leave me, Urie! Love me!”

“I do,” Urie protests with a laugh.

Mutsuki holds out his hands. “CUDDLESH.”

“Okay, I’ll just close the door, all right?”

“NO. Cuddle me now.”

Urie shrugs and slips into bed besides Mutsuki. Mutsuki immediately burrows his head in Urie’s chest and falls asleep.

Urie stays awake a while longer, stroking Mutsuki’s shiny hair.

The next morning, Urie and Mutsuki find themselves nursing hangovers and dealing with Facebook fallout, after Saiko posted surreptitious pictures of their cuddlefest.

(It’s me again. XD) Could you write Urie proposing to Mutsuki, and maybe as a bonus, their wedding night together? :3

Hello and yasssss you are always welcome.

“Tooru.”

Mutsuki smiles at the sunrise Urie has insisted they have to watch. “Yes?”

He turns around and freezes. “Oh!”

Urie kneels on the dewy grass. In one hand he holds a white rose. In the other, he holds a diamond ring that sparkles in the golden dawn. “Mutsuki Tooru, I love you with all my heart and soul. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

Mutsuki’s eyes fill. “Kuku…I…”

Kuki wants him. Kuki knows all his misdeeds, and he loves him.

“Yes,” Mutsuki whispers.

Urie slides the ring on his finger. He stands and seals their pact with a passionate kiss that leaves both hungry for more.

“YESSSSSSSSS!” Saiko hurtles out from behind the trees.

“What?” Mutsuki flushes to see the Quinx Squad, Kaneki and Touka, Akira and Amon, and several others waiting.

“I brewed congratulatory coffee.” Touka hands them both a cup.

——————————————-

“Tooru, you’re my husband,” Urie moans.

The guests have filtered away, and now he remains alone with Mutsuki. They’re in a fancy hotel, because Kaneki begged his friend Tsukiyama to splurge on his children.

“And you’re mine.” Mutsuki draws Urie closer to his body. “You’re quite the blushing groom.”

“I’m drunk.”

“You are not!” Mutsuki exclaims.

“I’m just so happy to be married to you,” Urie admits.

“The feeling is mutual.” Mutsuki takes a deep breath and moves Urie’s hand to his chest.

Urie undoes his binder and kisses the soft skin beneath. “God, Tooru.”

“What?” Mutsuki marvels at Urie’s own chest. He runs his hand down Urie’s muscles.

Urie lifts Mutsuki onto the bed and allows Mutsuki on top of him. Whatever Mucchan is comfortable with, he’s happy to do.

“We have a lifetime of this,” Urie whispers.

“I know.” Mutsuki stops undressing Urie to grin. “I’m happy.”

He can tell from Mutsuki’s bright eyes that he truly is happy. Urie has never before known love so strong that he cares about the other’s happiness before his own.

But now he does. And it feels good.

When they couple, they exult in feelings of safety and vulnerability and fun and passion all at once. It’s beautiful, just like the man they each love.

Kaneki/Sasaki never left the Quinx, Shirazu never dies, and they’re all happier for it

“Maman, tell us more about Hide.” Saiko leans over on the couch. Hsaio sits on Saiko’s lap.

“He was beautiful, inside and out.” Kaneki smiles sadly.

“And he supported you no matter what.” Mutsuki marvels, snuggling into his overstuffed chair. Support, just like the Quinx.

“He sounds awesome!” Higemaru punches his hands in the hair.

“He was. His last words I remember were ‘it may not be stylish, Kaneki, but live,’” Kaneki recalls.

“Those are beautiful words,” Aura admits begrudgingly.

“Unstylish, like you,” Shirazu teases. Aura sticks out his tongue.

“Hide’s one of my reasons for not giving up on you all,” Kaneki jokes.

“Yeah, yeah, we all know you would have given up on Urie long ago otherwise,” Shirazu says.

“Hey!” Urie’s mouth drops.

“Well,” says Higemaru, “if Hide went missing during the Anteiku raid, there’s a chance he’ll show up, just like Takizawa and Amon.”

Kaneki looks terrified at the prospect. He’s not ready for that.

But when he looks around his family, he thinks that maybe, just maybe, he could live through that after all.

How thirsty does it make me if I ask for Urie masturbating then cumming into his hand in his room? (the answer is a lot)

Urie imagines his crush. He imagines that they love him back, that he asks them out and his living parents love them. He imagines passionate nights together. And while he does, his hands find a way to busy themselves.

He loves them so much. He just needs them to know. Please know I love you.

Urie gasps with release, just as the door flies open.

“Hey!”

Shirazu and Urie shriek in unison. The door slams shut as the orange blur flees.

“Sorry,” Urie mutters to Shirazu when he finally emerges from his room.

“It’s fine; just, please assure me you weren’t thinking of a promotion.”

Urie thinks of his crush. So no one knows, do they? “Not at all.”

The gay/bi boys’ reactions to seeing a penis for the first time?

Nagachika Hideyoshi – blushing like mad

Tsukiyama Shuu – SWEEEET HARMONYYYYYYYY

Urie Kuki – Mine is bigger

Suzuya Juuzou – Cute! Want to see mine?

Hanbee Abara – sweating like Bertolt Hoover in the sun

Tatara – Hello, yes, may I marry you?

Houji – licks lips

Naki – screams (again)

Yamori – let’s make hate

Yomo Renji – embarrassed at both them and himself for liking it

Uta – I want it in my mouth. *rips it off* Oh that’s not what you thought I meant?

Washuu Yoshitoki – Oh. Oh my. Oh my god.

Washuu Matsuri – strips right then and there

Marude Itsuki – short of breath

If you headcanon anyone else, let me know and I’ll add them.

The straight/bi boys’ reactions to seeing boobs irl for the first time?

Kaneki Ken – “They’re so squishy.” (canon)

Nagachika Hideyoshi – CAN I HOLD THEM

Nishiki Nishio – spills coffee on himself

Koma Enji – eyebrow wiggle

Tsukiyama Shuu – Why can’t boys have something so fabulous

Urie Kuki – I wonder how they’d look on Mutsuki

Shirazu Ginshi – giggles uncontrollably

Higemaru Touma – spends the next day drawing large-breasted monsters

Aura Shinsanpei – crawls into corner

Amon Koutarou – prays

Takizawa Seidou – squeals with glee

Suzuya Juuzou – huh? those look heavy

Hanbee Abara – faints

Miyuki Mikage – I wonder if aliens have boobs

Keijin Nakarai – I’ve just met my future wife

Mizurou Tamaki – closes himself in his room for the rest of the day

Shinohara Yukinori – it was his wedding night with his wife. He was very gentle and she was rather fierce and it was beautiful.

Tatara – *draws Houji with boobs, mails it to him*

Houji – what the fuck Tatara – oh my, these look rather nice

Naki – screams

Yamori – do they hurt if you cut them

Ayato Kirishima – Ayato.exe has stopped working

Yomo Renji – stops breathing

Uta – thinks of them as interesting art/places for tattoos

Arima Kishou – speechless, but a small smile grows on his lips

Nimura Furuta – hello, I’m the bureau director. i like your boobs; can I dominate you?

Kuriowa Takeomi – “Y- Yoriko – you’re – like – beautiful – and – ah – so many feelings!”

Kuriowa Iwao – That’s nice.

Ui Koori – blubbering, red-cheeked mess

Hirako Take – am I supposed to be seeing this?

Washuu Yoshitoki – dazzled

Marude Itsuki – clears throat, smooths hair. Hi there.

Tanakamaru Mougan – Higheerrrrrrrrrrrrr boobs!

Rio – Poke

Hello, good sir, may I please request Urie and (idk a girl called Naru Okatsuki from the academy that I just made up on the spot) fucking in a car?

“Naru,” Urie purrs. He hasn’t seen her for so long, not since his surgery.

“Show me your kakugan,” she teases. “Oooh, how sexy.”

“I’m glad you like it.” They’re in the backseat of her car, because she’s rich enough to own a nice one.

“Like it? I love it. I’m quite jealous, actually.” Naru sighs. She desperately wanted to follow Urie into the Quinx Squad, but her parents had threatened to disown her should she “forsake her humanity.”

“What do you want?”

“You, Kuki.” Naru laughs. “Always you.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” Urie presses her down into the seat.

“Are you this pleasant to your Squad members.” Naru moans.

“They hate me, and I hate them.”

“I’m guessing that means you love them.” Naru eyes him. Even in the middle of sex, she doesn’t lose her senses. “Considering you told me you hated me for years.”

“I don’t love you.” Urie grunts.

“I know you do,” she shoots back as his hands settle between her legs. “Ack, not fair.”

“Life isn’t fair.”

“Hmm, true.” Naru sucks the skin on his throat. “Guess you’ll have to tell your friends you got bruised fucking in a car.”

“Fuck you!”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing?” Naru winks.

Someone raps on the car window. “Urie, are you okay – AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Sasaki faints.

“Oh my. At least he hasn’t seen my face.” Naru peers out the window at Sasaki’s unconscious body sprawled across the sidewalk.

Loving your first time posts!~ Could we perhaps see a first-time drunk Juuzou scenario next? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Would he be a light(gets drunk off the smallest shot)/medium/heavy weight(alcohol hardly phases him)? What would be the aftermath////

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

“You’re the beshtesht shquad leader ever.” Hanbee clutches Suzuya’s shoulders. The room spins around him.

Suzuya sips his Long Island. It’s sweet and tangy and he likes it.

“To Shushuya!” Keijin leaps on the bar counter.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to keep your feet off the table,” says the bar owner, brushing back her peach hair.

“Okay.” Keijin falls backwards. “Trust fall!”

Suzuya barely manages to catch his second-in-command. Huh. He feels tingly all over. That seems weird.

Miyuki giggles. “I can shee into the fifth dimentshion. I can shee the future!”

“I can see your underwear.” Mizurou waves a hand in Miyuki’s face.

“No you can’t. You’re sheeing my shoul.” Miyuki laughs.

Suzuya waves down the bartender. “Excuse me; why is the room spinning?”

The bartender points to his Long Island. “How many of those have you had?”

“Three,” he says cheerfully.

The woman turns white.

“Bye!” Suzuya slaps money down on the table and stands. He trips immediately over Hanbee, who is rolling around on the floor.

When the Quinx Squad is dispatched to a bar called Helter Skelter, they do not expect to find Suzuya rolling around on the floor with Hanbee.

“That’s it; I quit.” Urie tries to back out, but Shirazu holds him fast.

As each Quinx drags a member of Suzuya squad out of the bar, they marvel at the unexpected turn of events.

The bar owner, too, did not expect to see Haise Sasaki’s face.

Mutsuki teaches urie how to use knifes and is a huge tease while at it 😏

“Okay, this is how Suzuya taught me.” Mutsuki sidles up to Urie. “Hold it like this. Stand with your legs slightly farther apart – yeah, that’s right.”

Urie feels electricity where Mutsuki touches his hands.

“Just be confident,” Mutsuki assures him, somewhat confused at the sudden nervousness on Urie’s face.

“I’m always confident,” he snaps.

“Are you?” Mutsuki grins and positions Urie’s legs a bit more.

Now is not the time to go knobbly-kneed, Urie. Urie nods. “I’m ready.”

“Throw,” Mutsuki commands.

The assuredness in Mutsuki’s voice distracts Urie. How can he focus when Mutsuki’s changed so much? When Mutsuki is right next to him?

“Urie!” Mutsuki cries out as the knife shatters a window. “That’s Takeomi’s window.”

“Is it? I had no idea.” Urie whistles.

Mutsuki narrows his eyes. “You didn’t even do that on purpose. You went ninety degrees off the mark.”

“Yes, I did.”

“You’re too distracted.” Mutsuki pats Urie’s shoulder. Urie sucks in his breath.

Oh. Mutsuki narrows his eyes. “Would it help if I stand closer?”

“I mean, define help,” Urie says as his heart hammers.

Mutsuki wraps his arms around Urie. “Like this?”

“N – now I can’t throw,” Urie whimpers.

“If you can throw around me, you can throw around anyone.” Mutsuki runs his hands up Urie’s chest. “Mmm. Yes. You smell good. Now, pretend your next promotion depends on it.”