Ryo planning to propose to Koharu but Ui and Hairu accidentally interrupt.

Based on @koyuki-tan‘s “Peace Sign.”

Ryo draws Koharu closer as they stumble off the merry-go-round.

“Even ghouls get dizzy,” he jokes.

“Apparently.” Koharu smiles at him, and his palms begin to sweat. Because there’s a ring in the back of his pocket.

He pulls her beside the ride. Gaggles of children race by, followed by their beleaguered parents.

He wants that. He wants to be those parents. With Koharu.

“I, uh, Koharu,” he fumbles.

“What’s wrong, Ryo?” Koharu eyes him.

“Koharu! Ui won’t go on the teacups with me!” Hairu races up towards them. The cute woman Ryo wants for a sister-in-law.

And the brother-in-law follows her, shakings head. “I’ll throw up.”

“Us Uis aren’t made for spinning rides,” Koharu says with a grin. “But, Ui, you’ll get to slide into Hairu.”

“Do’t you want to slide into me?” Hairu pleads.

“I mean, I do, but I also don’t want to vomit on you,” Ui exclaims.

“Pleeeeeease,” Hairu begs.

Ui’s shoulders slump. “Fine.”

His eyes narrow at Ryo’s hand, which is in his back pocket. “You look nervous, Ryo.”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you really going to send us away?” Ui threatens.

“Fuck off!”

“No!”

“What’s going on?” Hairu asks, puzzled.

Koharu gasps. “Ryo, you’re not -”

“Pretty sure he is!” Hairu claps her hands.

Ryo’s face is now scarlet as he drops to his knees. This is totally not what he expected, but with this family, unexpected seems the norm. “Ui Koharu, will you marry me?”

“Yes,” Koharu whispers before he even finishes his question.

I could use some humorous Hairu and Koharu friendship scenarios.

– Hairu re-introduced Koharu to melon pan. Koharu liked it, but didn’t often favor it before Hairu. But Hairu’s constant gushing about melon pan has made Koharu crave it.

– Koharu definitely searched their parents’ house for Ui’s most embarrassing childhood photos. She promptly handed them to Hairu.

– Hairu has nicknamed Ryoichi “FBIL,” short for “future-brother-in-law.”

– Hairu insists on sometimes helping Koharu pick out date-night outfits. Koharu returns the favor whenever she and Ryoichi babysit Masanori.

– Koharu has educated Hairu on every Disney movie ever made “for Masanori’s sake.” Hairu’s favorite is Sleeping Beauty; Koharu’s is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

– They have occasionally gone, er, lingerie shopping together. It’s a tad awkward for Koharu (because, her brother), but she handles it well.

– They sometimes have more fun playing with Masanori’s toys than Masanori.

masanori kidnaps oscar the otter

Based on @koyuki-tan‘s “Peace Sign.”

“Masanori, what is this?” Hairu holds up a brilliantly fluffy, well-loved animal her son has hidden under his bed.

“Nothing,” Masanori says evasively.

“It looks like Brooke’s missing toy.”

Masanori pouts. “It’s not.”

“Masanori, are you lying?” Ui asks sternly, coming up behind Hairu.

Their child squeaks. “Yes.”

“Well, at least you admit it.” Ui sighs. “Hairu, can you call Brooke?”

“But I like otters! I wanna cuddle it!” Masanori grabs the animal.

“We can get you your own otter,” Hairu assures him. “But we don’t steal, Masanori.”

“Why?” Masanori frowns. “I wanted it more.”

“Are you sure?” Ui asks slowly. He’s never had someone ask why stealing is wrong before. He just assumed everyone knew that.

“Yes.” Masanori sticks out his lip.

Ui chuckles. “Then…then you could have asked Brooke. I’m sure she’d let you borrow it, but without asking she thought he’d vanished and she was very worried.”

“Oh.” Masanori looks concerned, to Ui’s relief. Maybe he is breaking through, after all.

Kids. They make him continually question morality.

Valentine’s Day headcanons for the following couples: Touken, Ayahina, Akiramon, Seiaki, Takirona, Mutsurie, Shiraiko, Saiko/Hsiao, Suzuhan, Fururize, Nishikimi, Tsukikana, Higetori, Uihai, Nakimiza, Arieto, Utaren. Bless you.

Bless you this Day of the Valentine, too. ❤

Touken

– Touka tackles Kaneki and drags him back to bed in the morning. 😉

– Kaneki buys her a ghoul-friendly cake. Three tiers, like a wedding cake.

– Touka has bought him a first edition of his Franz Kafka’s Metamorphosis.

– Kaneki tacles Touka and takes her back for an early night. 😉

Ayahina

– Ayato forgot it was Valentine’s Day. After cursing himself out, he races to buy her a card before she wakes up.

– She knew he forgot, but it’s okay. She has her own surprise for him.

– Ayato returns, having hastily scribbled his devout love in her card.

– Hinami has bought Ayato a parakeet. Ayato practically cries in happiness.

Akiramon

– Amon is as smooth as Touka’s coffee. Flowers, chocolate, Maris Stella to pat as soon as Akira awakens.

– Akira is ready to counter him with ghoul-suited food for him, sweetened with as much sugar as a ghoul can tolerate.*

– Takes Akira out to a spicy curry shop for dinner.

*Given that Kaneki originally ate sugar cubes with blood, I’m guessing ghouls can tolerate some sugar, and Akira is ON it.

Seiaki

– Takizawa is terrified that he hasn’t bought her enough chocolate.

– His heart-shaped box is half the size of Akira.

– Akira laughs and tells him thank you, before revealing they have plans to spend the day in a dog and cat cafe.

Takirona

– Takizawa is a bit shy, but he’s bought Kurona flowers and Touka’s magnificent coffee.

– She kisses him and tells him he’s more than enough to make her happy.

– They spend their night in, watching Netflix and cuddling and talking about feelings.

Mutsurie

– Urie sweeps Mutsuki off his feet immediately.

– He’s pleased when Mutsuki promptly knocks his feet out from under him.

– They’re discovered making out in the halls outside their room.

Shiraiko

– Shirazu is stunned to wake up to Saiko serving him breakfast in bed.

– When he asks her how she woke up in time, she cheerfully says she didn’t go to sleep, because he is that important to her.

– She of course then snuggles with him, cuddling and eating the feast she’s prepared (with Kaneki’s cooking help).

Hsaiko

– Hsaio cosplays as Saiko’s favorite manga character to wake her up.

– Saiko insists that both can be late for work. … Not for sleep. 😉

– Saiko runs around bragging about her sexy girlfriend, and consults Hairu for how marriage is best sprung to a garden ghoul.

Suzuhan

– Hanbee takes Suzuya out for ice cream.

– Suzuya takes Hanbee to the latest Disney movie. He likes it, too. By the end, Hanbee is sobbing into Suzuya’s arms.

– At home, Hanbee discovers flowers decorating his room.

Fururize

– Furuta is awakened by Rize love-biting him

– He will take her to an all-you-can-eat restaurant suitable for ghouls, and think himself the luckiest man alive every time she steals a glance.

– Rize: “Are you feeding me so I have the energy to dominate you tonight?”

– Furuta: *mews*

Nishikimi

– Nishiki: “Since you were okay with putting a bangle around my wrist, what if I put a ring around your finger?”

– Kimi: *eyes wide* “Nishiki-kun!”

– Nishiki: “I mean, I don’t have it yet. But I figured I’d ask. For future reference.”

– Kimi: “Now I’m half tempted to make you put it around my middle finger.”

Tsukikana

– Tsukiyama awakens Karren by sprinkling diamonds and gold dust on her.

– Karren has collaborated with Chie to get the best, most exotic food for Shuu..

– They dance the night away, until Karren suggests another form of dance. 😉

Higetori

– Higemaru’s a bit concerned Hakatori will find it dumb, but he would totally propose on Valentine’s Day.

– She says yes, then chastises him for giving her a present she can’t top.

– Her present, however, involves a concert and “Higemaru appreciation day,” in which she’s convinced all the Aogiri kids to make him cards.

Uihai

– Can you say PREPARED. Ui’s been planning their dinner at the best restaurant in town for months. He buys Hairu a gargantuan chocolate heart, which she promptly breaks in two for him.

– Hairu gives him tickets for a play Ui’s been dying to see, for the next weekend.

– Hairu suggests snuggles after they walk home.

Nakimiza

– Once Naki heard about this tradition of celebrating love, he ran around consulting ways to celebrate Miza.

– He throws confetti (supplied by Tsukiyama) on her, and she kisses him.

– “You know, you could have just wished me a happy Valentine’s Day and that would be enough,” says she. He then cries about how it wouldn’t be enough for Miza.

Arieto

– Let’s see, how can Eto troll the Reaper?

– bribes access to CCG for herself, then appears in Arima’s office yelling “boo!”

– Arima’s office door closes for the next few hours.

Utaren

– Uta is determined to embarrass Yomo.

– He buys him a ridiculously sized box of chocolates neither can eat, and a new coat

– To his surprise, Yomo has also bought him paint for masks. But Uta’s real treat is how flustered and flushed Yomo is.

ryoichi meets ui for the first time and ui is protective over his sister

From @koyuki-tan‘s “Peace Sign.”

Ui glowers at this redheaded ghoul whose arm is casually draped around his sister. “Who are you?”

“Ryoichi.”

“Do you have another name?” Ui winces. Wait. Not all ghouls do. He didn’t mean to be a complete asshole, just a mild one.

“Ryoichi Takeo,” Koharu says, smiling at her boyfriend. He brushes his lips against her forehead, and Ui growls.

“Koharu!” Hairu bounds outside, baby Masanori on her hip, waving them both in. “Welcome!”

“Thanks!” Koharu scampers towards her nephew.

“Just a second,” Ui whispers in Ryiochi’s ear.

“Yeah?” Ryoichi grins. He can tell he’s pissing this brother off, but since all of Koharu’s stories involve her pissing him off, he’s honestly not sure how else to interact with Brother-Stick-In-The-Mud.

“If you – if you try to eat her – I – I will make sure you die slowly and painfully. I’ll eat you,” Ui seethes.

Ryoichi’s eyes widen. Just slightly.

“Ui, I swear to God, if you actually said that eating line,” Hairu breaks in. “I’ll…I’ll take up smoking.”

Ui whimpers. “But I gave up cigarettes.”

“I didn’t,” Hairu says sweetly. “Shall I test your resolve?”

“No,” he says quickly. “Fine, fine, any wild friend of my sister’s is welcome.”

“We’re more than friends,” Koharu says. Ryoichi’s face turns as red as his hair.

Good, Ui thinks with another obligatory glare.

Ui is afraid of spiders!

“Oh my god, get it away from me!” Ui bursts out, skittering behind Hairu.

“Huh?” She looks up in puzzlement. “Oh!”

Hairu laughs at the spider gracefully descending from the ceiling. “I think it’s lovely.”

UI shakes his head. “One of you brave ghoul investigators, kill it.”

“Nah,” says Hirako, leaning back in his chair. “Spiders don’t bother me.”

“Are you crazy?” Ui hisses.

“I’m a child and you’re the adult,” Shio protests.

“I like it,” says Yusa.

“Ui, save us,” says Rikai.

Hairu rolls her eyes. “How about I capture it and take it outside?”

It’s weird, she thinks, as she coaxes the creature onto a paper towel. She’s showing more mercy to an arachnid than a ghoul.

She waves the captive spider before Ui, who blanches.

“Can we keep him?” Yusa asks.

“NO.” Ui shivers.

Would he shiver at me? Hairu wonders.

She turns to leave, onto to run into Arima. “Say hello to our spy, Arima!”

Arima scrambles back. “Get – it – away!”

Hirako chortles. “We’ve found Arima Kishou’s secret kryptonite!”

I’m lowkey shipping Yusa and Niji after that little bit you wrote please may I ask for a confused Yusa asking Ui for advice?

Lol yessss I am too.

“Ui?” Yusa asks Ui a few days after the attack Tokyo. Kaneki Ken is recovering in Tokyo’s best hospital, and ghouls and humans are negotiating.

“Yes?” Ui hesitates. He still feels guilty that he kept condemning ghouls in the presence of a half-ghoul like Yusa. He was so ignorant.

“How did you know you liked Hairu?”

Ui stills. “Uh…You knew that?”

“You weren’t trying to get Arima back, but you trying for Hairu. Besides, Shio has been convinced for over a year,” Yusa admits.

Ui colors. “Well, Yusa…yes, I love Ihei Hairu. It hasn’t even stopped with her gone.”

“What is love like?”

“Love is…” Ui sighs. “Well, it can start with a fluttering in your chest, or a tingling in your stomach. Or a realization that you are interested in spending the rest of your life with them. Or the desire to do everything in your power give them the best in life. Love can be like a lot of things.”

“But what is it?” Yusa presses. He definitely gets heart flutters when he sees Niji, the rainbow ghoul who’s charmed even CCG’s staunchest.

“A deep, affectionate feeling for someone,” Ui says. “According to the dictionary. Magic, according to Disney. Drugs. Fire. Who knows.”

He wishes love was magic enough to raise the dead.

“Is this person a ghoul?” Ui asks with a knowing smile.

“It’s…yeah…” Yusa mumbles, his face red.

“I think love is magic enough to give you a chance with them.” Ui pats his shoulder. “You’ll feel better if you tell her, I assure you.”

Magic. Somewhere, there’s still a part of him that thinks if Yusa can date a cute rainbowed ghoul, Hairu can return.

Do you think that maybe when Ui was younger he used to watch He-Man? That maybe that inspired him to be all into the ‘justice’ thing? As well as the hair style!

OMG

“Ui, he looks like you!” Shio points towards the screen. He quivers with excitement.

“Uh, how?” Ui blushes. He-Man. His favorite hero. Prince Adam was his favorite character growing up. He never quit. He always fought for justice.

“You have the same hair,” Rikai says, smoothing her own bob.

“But he’s blonde,” Shio says.

“Can we be your Masters of the Universe?” Yusa asks.

Ui chokes. “I…”

“Where’s your Power Sword?” Shio demands.

“It’s only half,” Ui retorts, then catches himself. Shoot.

“So you do know He-Man!” Yusa cackles.

“Stop!” Ui gulps.

“Does that make Hairu Skeletor? Since they’re partners, she can be the second half of the sword.” Shio rubs his hands together.

“She would be Teela!” Ui insists. He’s already deep in this hell. might as well descend more.

“Not Adora? I could see her as Adora,” Rikai muses.

“No!” Ui is appalled. Then Hairu would be his sister…and she definitely isn’t. Even in fictional games.

“What’s going on?” Hairu and Hirako race up to see Ui sputtering nonsense and the kids giggling.

“He’s reverted back to his Prince Adam state,” Shio says mysteriously.

Hairu frowns, not understanding, but Hirako collapses to the floor in laughter, as tears stream down his face.

brooke and hajime probably would have a blast throwing snow balls at Ui

Absolutely. Brooke is from @koyuki-tan’s mesmerizing “Peace Sign.”

“Let’s go!” Hajime screeches.

“Huh?” Ui looks up from CCG’s exit. HIs arm is around Hairu’s pregnant waist.

That will afford him no mercy.

“Now!” Brooke commands.

The Oggai leap to their feet and let the snowballs fly.

Ui howls with rage and Hairu howls with laughter. “Protect me, Ui.”

“Help!” Ui tries to yelp, but a snowball strikes his teeth.

Hairu doubles over, overcome by giggles. She slowly gathers more snow into her gloved hands.

Brooke would hate to pelt her with snow, but all’s fair in snow wars.

She’s about to alert Hajime when Hairu slips the snow down the back of Ui’s shirt.

Hajime collapses on the snow, laughing. He creates a snow angel, but Brooke immediately draws devil horns over his head.

“YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!” Ui screams, whirling on Hairu. “Traitor! In my own squad! What’s next, you’re a ghoul?!”

Hairu bats her eyelashes. “You were too easy.”

“I’m cold,” Ui whimpers.

Hairu tackles him in a hug. “Well, there’s a cure for that.”

auntie koharu telling masanori and miki embarrassing stories about their dad when he was younger and ui is absolutely horrified

Koharu is from @koyuki-tan‘s “Peace Sign.”

“Hey kids, want to hear about the time Daddy was trying to cook for Mommy?” Koharu smiles and smoothes her hair.

“Yesssss.” Masanori rubs his hands together. Miki bounces up and down.

“Well, he wanted to make er a birthday surprise. What actually happened was he tried to make melon buns.” Koharu leans forward. “But Mommy got off work early that day. She entered the door and – whoosh! – he was so surprised he spilt the sticky mix right on her.”

She’d then come in to find them taking a shower together, but the kids didn’t need to know that part.

“When he was reaaaaaally young, like your age, Miki, he also tried to cook. He wanted to make ramen for me and him.” Koharu smirks. “But we didn’t have noodles. So I took worms and old him they were noodles, and he served it to our whole family.”

Masanori giggles. “Then what happened?”

“He was the only one who’d taken a bite. Of broth, not even the worms. But he cried, vomited, and ran around screaming for the rest of the night. Oh, I’ve never seen him cry so much or so hard.” Koharu nods as she hears a cough from behind her.

“Why would you tel that story? It’s disgusting!” Ui is properly horrified.

Hairu doubles over with laughter. “Ui, you ate worms?”

“I trusted her!” Ui points desperately at Koharu. His face burns.

“Don’t kiss me tonight,” Hairu says with a wink.