Happy Halloween! 🎃 I was wondering if I could request the ScapeGOAT kids Halloween Trick-or-Treating adventure? Like what they would all dress up as and going house to house. Maybe at the end of the night, Masanori and the kids all sneak out to give their left over candy to Ryuu and Yuuko in the garden! Thanks <3

This is late, but let’s do it anyways. Based on @koyuki-tan‘s “Scapegoat.”

Ui Masanori – Ui, because he can. Ui is melting inside.

Ui Miki – a Vampire! Dracula, to be exact.

Takeo Shouhei – A bat. So he can suck blood *and* fly.

Mizurou Mizuki – A giraffe!!! Just like Uncle Suzuya. They coordinated.

Higemaru Nagisa – A princess, because she’s amazing and she knows it.

When they go house-to-house, Suzuya and Hanbee accompany them.

Masanori drags everyone along. He is secretly hoping for a trick, but all they get are treats.

Miki and Shouhei battle over who has a better bloodsucker costume, until Nagisa’s wand ‘heals’ them. Or so she declares.

Suzuya passes as a kid so he can get treats, too, and Hanbee as the adult.

Once they (and Suzuya, and Hanbee) have gorged themselves, Masanori wakes the children at 11 pm. They sneak away to the garden to deliver Ryuu and Yuuko all the leftovers while it’s still Halloween.

Rize is very confused when she sees chocolate, but helps the brats hide from Furuta.

Maybe can we have Masanori, Miki, auntie Koharu, and some of the others throw a surprise party for Uihai day?

UIHAI DAY: The official middle day between Hairu and Ui’s birthdays!

Based on characters from @koyuki-tan‘s Peace Sign and ScapeGOAT.

“What are you giggling about?” Hairu teases, watching her pink-haired child snicker and slowly curl his fingers, gesturing for her to approach. He leans out of :Re, swinging on the door.

“You’ll see. You too, Daddy.” Masanori grins at Ui.

Hairu and Ui exchange glances as they approach the coffee shop.

“SURPRISE!” Masanori screams, along with Koharu, Ryohei, The Quinx and Beta Quinx, Touka and Kaneki and GOAT and TSC.

The shop is crammed full, but a banner swings from the ceiling.

Happy National UiHai Day!

Hairu squeals and jumps up and down. Ui ducks his face, red with embarrassment.

“You planned this?” he asks his son.

“With help,” Masanori says shyly, gesturing to Miki and Auntie Koharu.

“Thank you so much!” Hairu tackles her children in a hug.

“We baked special melon pan,” Koharu assures them. “Or, rather, Touka did.”

“Hurrah!” Hairu claps her hands, trembling with delight. No one ever celebrated her brithday in the Garden. Now she has a family and friends, and they’re celebrating her birthday along with her husband’s!

Ui wraps his arms around his wife. “For you, I’ll deal with Uihai day,” he mumbles in her ear.

Can I please request Hajime and Mayazumi babysitting the GOAT children? (From ScapeGOAT) Except that they loose them at some point and have to try and cover it up until they find them again?

Oh my goodness. Based on @koyuki-tan‘s ScapeGOAT, which I highly recommend after reading her first entry, Peace Sign.

“Hajime, help.” Mayazumi’s idea of make-up to tame the children has backfired more than he ever dreamed. He sits on a chair, held down by Tamaki Mizuki, as Ui Masanori jabs his eyes with eyeliner.

Hajime does a double-take before laughing so hard he falls down. “That’s amazing.”

“He’s down,” says Mizuki, an evil light in her eyes.

Hajime scrambles away, but soon the children overwhelm him, too.

“MAKEUP!” screams Higemaru Nagisa, the littlest one, brandishing pink lipstick like a quinque. She and Takeo Shouhei pile atop Hajime, as a vengeful Mayazumi films.

Hajime, though, unlike Mayazumi, continues to struggle. He will not give in. He will not wear makeup – no one can know – everyone should think he’s so tough –

When Hajime has a proper clown face, Mayazumi clicks “post.”

“You did not!” Hajime leaps to his feet, furious.

“I did, traitor!” Mayazumi waves his phone. “That’s for not helping me!”

“You bastard!” Hajime doesn’t care if there are children present! He rushes to the bathroom, determined to clean his face before anything else can happen – but Mayazumi races him, and beats him there. “God dammit!”

At the lack of laughter, Hajime turns his head. The kids usually love his potty mouth, and he loves that they love him.

He feels as though Uncle Yomo has electrocuted him. “Maya! They’re gone!”

“Like hell they are!” Mayazumi hollers from inside.

“I’m not kidding!” Hajime tries not to panic as he searches the entire house. When Mayazumi, taking his sweet time, finally stumbles out, he turns green.

“I don’t know where they are,” Hajime gasps.

The phone rings.

Hajime jolts. “It’s – Koharu.”

No way Koharu can know her Shouhei is missing.

“I have an idea.” Mayazumi grabs Hajime’s arm. “Stay here.”

He switches to video. “Hi, Koharu!”

“Hi Mayazumi. Ryo wanted me to see if the kids are too much for you,” Koharu says.

“Not for me,” says the clean-faced Mayazumi. “For Hajime, though…” he swivels so that Koharu can see his decorated face.

Koharu struggles not to laugh. “I see.”

“I think they’re all tired now,” Mayazumi adds brightly.

“Great. We’ll be home in half an hour.” Koharu ends the call, and Mayazumi slumps over.

“Fuck you,” Hajime says. “And fuck us. Because we need to find these brats!”

The doorbell rings.

Mayazumi and Hajime trip over each other and they rush the door.

Kaneki Touka stands there, surrounded by children. “I think you were missing these minions?”

“Sorry,” says Mizuki, nibbling her lip, as Shouhei and Nagisa hang their heads. Mayazumi, naturally, wears his eat-shit grin. Completely unrepentant.

“They tried to steal Yoriko’s treats and I showed them the power of an SS ghoul,” Touka says.

“We weren’t stealing for ourselves. We have a friend. His name is Ryuu and he lives in an underground garden!” Shouhei says innocently.

“He’s an imaginary friend,” Nagisa adds quickly.

“Then why did he need food?” Touka puts her hands on her hips, and to Hajime and Mayazumi’s amazement, the children are actually cowed.

“Come on.” Touka points them all inside. “Time to have a talk with your parents when they return.”

“But…” Hajime whimpers.

Touka claps a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry. The worst they’ll do is eat you.”

Koharu and Ryoichi should have a son named isamu. Maybe Masanori’s reaction to having a cousin?

Based on @koyuki-tan‘s “Peace Sign.”

– He is ecstatic for a cousin.

– If, however, Isamu gets more attention than him, Masanori might feel a little insecure and need reassurance from h s parents.

– He loves playing with baby Isamu. Mostly this involves “drawing” on Isamu’s face.

– Eventually, he likes Isamu so much he asks his parents to adopt him AND give him another baby sibling. This causes existential crises for both Uihai and Koharyo.

– They’re eventually known as the devil twins who will give their loving parents headaches with mischief, but they wouldn’t trade them for anything. ❤

You know who I haven’t seen on this blog in a long time? The Uihai family! Do you have any fluffy headcanons to share?

– Hairu was as boisterous as Masanori when they visited Disneyland. Her favorite ride was the teacups.

– Masanori preferred the swings, and Ui, the Haunted Mansion.

– Hairu then teased Ui about having a dark side.

– Ui vomited after the teacups, after he went on them over and over for Hairu’s sake.

– Hairu and Masanori have discovered a new addiction: cotton candy.

– Until Ui discovers that he’s addicted, too.

– The Uihai parents decide they cannot have it in their home. Because it’s dangerous.

– But every time Masanori sneaks it in (and he does, thanks to his many mischievous friends), they are secretly delighted.

masanori kidnaps oscar the otter

Based on @koyuki-tan‘s “Peace Sign.”

“Masanori, what is this?” Hairu holds up a brilliantly fluffy, well-loved animal her son has hidden under his bed.

“Nothing,” Masanori says evasively.

“It looks like Brooke’s missing toy.”

Masanori pouts. “It’s not.”

“Masanori, are you lying?” Ui asks sternly, coming up behind Hairu.

Their child squeaks. “Yes.”

“Well, at least you admit it.” Ui sighs. “Hairu, can you call Brooke?”

“But I like otters! I wanna cuddle it!” Masanori grabs the animal.

“We can get you your own otter,” Hairu assures him. “But we don’t steal, Masanori.”

“Why?” Masanori frowns. “I wanted it more.”

“Are you sure?” Ui asks slowly. He’s never had someone ask why stealing is wrong before. He just assumed everyone knew that.

“Yes.” Masanori sticks out his lip.

Ui chuckles. “Then…then you could have asked Brooke. I’m sure she’d let you borrow it, but without asking she thought he’d vanished and she was very worried.”

“Oh.” Masanori looks concerned, to Ui’s relief. Maybe he is breaking through, after all.

Kids. They make him continually question morality.

ryoichi meets ui for the first time and ui is protective over his sister

From @koyuki-tan‘s “Peace Sign.”

Ui glowers at this redheaded ghoul whose arm is casually draped around his sister. “Who are you?”

“Ryoichi.”

“Do you have another name?” Ui winces. Wait. Not all ghouls do. He didn’t mean to be a complete asshole, just a mild one.

“Ryoichi Takeo,” Koharu says, smiling at her boyfriend. He brushes his lips against her forehead, and Ui growls.

“Koharu!” Hairu bounds outside, baby Masanori on her hip, waving them both in. “Welcome!”

“Thanks!” Koharu scampers towards her nephew.

“Just a second,” Ui whispers in Ryiochi’s ear.

“Yeah?” Ryoichi grins. He can tell he’s pissing this brother off, but since all of Koharu’s stories involve her pissing him off, he’s honestly not sure how else to interact with Brother-Stick-In-The-Mud.

“If you – if you try to eat her – I – I will make sure you die slowly and painfully. I’ll eat you,” Ui seethes.

Ryoichi’s eyes widen. Just slightly.

“Ui, I swear to God, if you actually said that eating line,” Hairu breaks in. “I’ll…I’ll take up smoking.”

Ui whimpers. “But I gave up cigarettes.”

“I didn’t,” Hairu says sweetly. “Shall I test your resolve?”

“No,” he says quickly. “Fine, fine, any wild friend of my sister’s is welcome.”

“We’re more than friends,” Koharu says. Ryoichi’s face turns as red as his hair.

Good, Ui thinks with another obligatory glare.

auntie koharu telling masanori and miki embarrassing stories about their dad when he was younger and ui is absolutely horrified

Koharu is from @koyuki-tan‘s “Peace Sign.”

“Hey kids, want to hear about the time Daddy was trying to cook for Mommy?” Koharu smiles and smoothes her hair.

“Yesssss.” Masanori rubs his hands together. Miki bounces up and down.

“Well, he wanted to make er a birthday surprise. What actually happened was he tried to make melon buns.” Koharu leans forward. “But Mommy got off work early that day. She entered the door and – whoosh! – he was so surprised he spilt the sticky mix right on her.”

She’d then come in to find them taking a shower together, but the kids didn’t need to know that part.

“When he was reaaaaaally young, like your age, Miki, he also tried to cook. He wanted to make ramen for me and him.” Koharu smirks. “But we didn’t have noodles. So I took worms and old him they were noodles, and he served it to our whole family.”

Masanori giggles. “Then what happened?”

“He was the only one who’d taken a bite. Of broth, not even the worms. But he cried, vomited, and ran around screaming for the rest of the night. Oh, I’ve never seen him cry so much or so hard.” Koharu nods as she hears a cough from behind her.

“Why would you tel that story? It’s disgusting!” Ui is properly horrified.

Hairu doubles over with laughter. “Ui, you ate worms?”

“I trusted her!” Ui points desperately at Koharu. His face burns.

“Don’t kiss me tonight,” Hairu says with a wink.

hi i’m that person who asked for masanori with his aunt and uncle last time. could i request another one like how about shio and koharu take masanori and miki to the beach and are competing to be the favorite in numerous activities?

hello there. Of course you may.

Based on characters from @koyuki-tan‘s “Peace Sign” and @hamliet‘s “The (Mis)adventures of Goat.”

“Auntie Koharu, do I have to wear sunscreen? It feels so icky.” Miki juts out her lower lip as they arrange blankets on the hot sand.

Koharu winces. Shit. There’s no avoiding being the bad guy here. “No, because you’ll get sick otherwise.”

Shio smirks at Koharu, who responds by sticking out her tongue.

“Wait, you can stick out your tongue? Can I? Daddy doesn’t let me.” Masanori sticks out his tongue at Miki.

“Hey!” she yells, responding by poking out her own tongue.

“I’m cool again,” Koharu whispers to Shio. He scowls. “Hey, as soon as Auntie Koharu finishes with the sunscreen, wanna search for shells?”

“Oooh, yeah!” The kids bounce up and down.

Half an hour later, Shio holds up shiny mussel shell. “Look, it’s like a mirror. Miki, you can see your pretty reflection.”

She giggles as Masanori runs around stomping on the shells.

“Masanori, look at this giant clam shell you can smash.” Koharu waves it around.

Shio pouts. “I gave him like ten.”

“But I gave him the biggest,” Koharu says.

Later on, as they swim, Koharu revels that she is, for the moment, still taller than Shio. That means she can tow her niece and nephew into deeper water, hold them over larger waves.

“I like being splashed more,” Masanori says with a shrug, running over to Shio’s side.

“I don’t.” Miki clings to Koharu. “I don’t wanna be p – pull -pulllized.

“Pulverized?” Koharu says with a giggle.

“Yeah. Wheeeee!” Miki cheers as Koharu leaps in unison with the waves, and Shio and Masanori go tumbling head-over-heels.

As they head back to Koori and Hairu’s, they stop for ice cream. Miki frowns, chocolate smeared across her face. “Uh-oh.”

“Uh-oh what?” Shio wipes his flushed face. Ow.

Masanori bursts into laughter. “You both were so focused on putting sunscreen torture on us, you forgot it for yourselves!”

Koharu whimpers slightly. “Shio. How long were we in the sun for?”

“We’re gonna die,” he replies, already texting Yusa and Rikai for aloe.

we’ve seen uncle shio before right?? say that he and koharu fight over who’s the better aunt/uncle to masanori?

LOL.

Based on @koyuki-tan‘s “Peace Sign.”

“Masanori!” Shio prances into Ui and Hairu’s apartment waving a bag of cookies. “Look what I brought.”

Koharu stares at him from her position next to Masanori. They’ve been sculpting a kagune castle from play-doh.

And that little shit brought the same cookies she did!

She grabs a handful of play-doh and hurls it at Shio. “I’m the best aunt.”

“That’s fine. I’m the best uncle. My cookie package is bigger, after all.” Shio waves around the bag.

“I will eat both,” giggles Masanori.

“And not the play-doh,” Koharu adds. She’s had to pull it from his mouth two times already.

Masanori pouts.

Shio whips out his phone to get Yusa and Rikai. Buy me edible clay. For Masanori. And science. I will be the best!

Koharu, meanwhile, has her phone out. She and Shio narrow their eyes at each other.

By the time the Beta Squad and Arima Squad appear simultaneously, both with edible clay, Koharu and Shio have managed to convince Masanori to stop sculpting castles and start sculpting food.

“The battle is on,” Shio says solemnly. He will be the Best Uncle!

“Bring it,” Koharu fires back. She will win! She will be the Best Aunt!