He’d probably mistake his feelings for a desire to eat them, and start his game by inviting them to coffee. Meanwhile, he’d insist Chie follow them to discover what activities they like.
Shuu would then show up to coffee bearing flowers, their favorite book, or something related to their hobbies – whatever Chie found.
After a while, he might realize he enjoys meeting them because he likes their company, and he’d miss them if he ate them. This confuses him, so the person might actually have to be blunt about how
a) they know his intentions
and
b) “you’re actually experiencing a crush, silly.”
They may also say they totally talked to Chie and figured out Tsukiyama’s identity.
They will then have to talk Tsukiyama out of the immediate marriage he suddenly wants.
He will spoil them rotten, refer to them as royalty and have several dozen pet names for them, and tell Mirumo about how much he likes them. And Mirumo will then like them, because he’d be glad his son stopped confusing crushes and food.
– Shuu’s child is bathed in rosewater and sleeps in fairy dust
– Shuu is overprotective but also fun. He just needs to be with the child while they are having The Fun.
– Anyone threatens his kid, he’s going to make them pay. Probably by having Auntie Chie take photos until they find one the villain doesn’t want made public.
– He buys his kid high fashion silk diapers starting from Day One.
– The first time the child cried in his arms, he panicked and thought he had hurt them. Turns out they were just hungry, and he was mildly embarrassed he did not realize that.
– He hyped up Uncle Kaneki’s scent so much that the child was unimpressed with Kaneki, to Shuu’s horror.
– Shuu is very supportive of whatever his child decides to do. Tea parties? He’ll gladly participate. Sports? He’ll cheer on every game. Dying their hair at age six? Sure, why not?
Tsukiyama Shuu pants above you. His breath tickles your cheek as your bodies grind together.
“I – I’m – Ah – (Y/N) – Ahhh – Tres Bien! Excellent! SWEET HARMONYYYYYY!” He shrieks as his eyes roll back in his head.
“Shuu?” You gasp as he shakes with the force of release. His sweat drips onto your face, and you quite like it.
He collapses, burying his face against your chest. “Ma cherie, you make me the happiest man in the world.”
“Oh, really?” You can’t hold back your laughter anymore.
“What is wrong?” Shuu lifts his head. He sounds scandalized.
“Shuu, they probably heard you screaming all the way in China,” you tease.
“Oh, is that so?” Shuu smirks as he slips his lips down your body. “Let’s see if they can hear you all the way in America. They don’t call me the Gourmet for nothing.”
1. His name is Uta and he likes being weird. Probably him.
2. Seidou might be kinky enough, or he might start crying. I’m honestly not sure which response will happen but we know it will be hardcore either way.
3. But actually, Tsukiyama would probably like it too, because he can taste them without hurting them. TRES BIEN!
Touka sips the terrible decaf coffee Hide brewed just for her. “Man, I always heard about people hating their in laws but this just takes the cake, you know?”
“You can eat cake?” Saiko asks.
“In laws? You mean, you really are married?” Takizawa laughs. “Holy shit!”
“Does that make you my mother?” gasps Higemaru. “Because I am down with that. She’s a badass.”
“I hate her! I hate her! She’s not our mother!” cries Mutsuki. “She – she stole Sensei away! That slut!”
Ayato rises, but Hinami yanks him back.
“Touka is actually pretty cool for the rabbit who killed my dad,” Akira says, tossing her a wry smile. Akira keeps her hands massaging Mutsuki’s shoulders.
Aura spits out his coffee. “She what?”
“Say it, don’t spray it,” says Nishiki with a glare.
“Oh come off it, we’re all killers here.” Kurona primly lifts her mug.
“Mutsuki, Kaneki left you because he couldn’t face himself,” Tsukiyama says quietly. “He’s never been good at that. Not that I have either. He craves a family but fears the hurt that comes with love. It was his failing, not yours. Not Touka’s.” He smiles slightly. “He told me the list of people he cared about once. Believe me, you Quinx were included.”
Mutsuki sniffles. “Really?”
But I am awful. I kill families. But Akira is rubbing his back, and Urie has approached him, and Saiko looks at him with kindness he doesn’t deserve. Did he leave the Quinx home, too?
“Really.” Tsukiyama nods.
Mutsuki lets out a little sob, and that does it. Saiko springs up and embraces him. Even Touka has to smile.
“Wait, wait, wait!” Ayato stands up. “Touka! Does that mean you really are – the rumors – the decaf -”
“Don’t worry, we won’t serve you for dinner, little mouse,” Tsukiyama says, guiding Chie towards his mansion.
“I put a blog post up in case,” she retorts.
Tsukiyama laughs with delight. “I’d expect nothing less!”
He enters the home and waves. “Hello!”
“Welcome,” says Matsumae.
“Matsumae.” Chile’s eyes widen. “You’re a ghoul, too?”
“She’s head of our household staff,” Tsukiyama narrates.
“Whoa.” Chie snaps a picture. “Don’t worry. I just like looking at these.”
“I know,” Matsumae says with a small smile. “Otherwise our Shuu would be dead by now.”
“I would not!” gasps Tsukiyama, but Chie snickers.
“He definitely would.”
“Indeed.” Mario bows before Chie. “I’m the butler, at your service, madam.”
“Wow.” Chie snaps another picture. “So nice.”
“We are all well-mannered here,” says Tsukiyama.
“Except my son, at times.” An older, mustachioed ghoul appears at the top of an red-carpeted staircase, complete with golden bannisters. “Mirumo Tsukiyama. Pleasure to meet a human friend who doesn’t fear ghouls.”
“She’s my pet,” Shuu says.
“Sure.” Mirumo winks at Chie, who quite likes this man.
“Oh, Master Shuu!” A blonde ghoul hurries up, accompanied by a handsome dark-haired ghoul. “I forgot about your friend, but we’ve just put the cookies in the oven. And we shall prepare some pate for you.”
“What’s your name? Are you two married?” Chie holds up her camera.
“G-goodness, no,” says the woman. “I’m Aliza, and this is Yuuma.”
She notes she’ll probably need to ask Chie for that picture later, to keep it under her pillow.
“And this is Kanae Von Rosewald!” Shuu points excitedly to a pretty lad about his own age, with lilac hair and a pink suit.
“You have pretty hair.” Chie smiles.
“T-thank you.” Kanae almost doesn’t feel jealous of Chie. Almost.
“Well, Chie, shall we sit in the parlor? I’m so interested to know you more,” says Mirumo.
Mercy and Magic 