Kaneki and Hide reunite and Hide confesses his feelings for him (like he did in Chpt 148). But since Kaneki is married with a child on the way, he also says he is ready to let Kaneki go and be happy even if he can’t have him. In comes our queen, Touka, who introduces them to the idea of polyamory ;)

“Why would you go this far? I took your mouth,” Kaneki whispers. He’ll never hear Hide’s laugh again.

Hide rolls his eyes “Kaneki, half an hour ago you thought you’d never hear me again because you’d killed me. Isn’t this infinitely better?”

“I…suppose.”

“Anyhow, I love you. Kaneki, I’ve loved you for years.” Hide looks at the ground. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. It took me…well, until you vanished to realize.”

“Hide.” Kaneki blinks back tears. “I love you, too.”

He takes Hide’s cheeks in his. “But I can’t be with you. I’m with Touka. We’re having a baby.”

“Do you love her?” Hide asks, desperately.

“Yes.”

“Good.” Hide breathes a sigh of relief. He can handle heartbreak if Kaneki is happy.

“Hold up, you two.” Touka stomps over. “Go ahead and kiss him, Ken.”

“Huh?” Kaneki sputters.

“Polyamory is a thing, you know.” Touka flutters her lashes at both men.

Hide feels impressively attracted to her. “Uh.”

Kaneki tackles his missing mouth in a kiss, and Touka kisses both of their cheeks.

“Welcome to the family. I’ll leave a bite mark not on your face for marriage,” Touka whispers in Hide’s ear.

He laughs, and even Kaneki has to chuckle.

He feels so happy, surrounded by and married to his best friends.

Both Kaneki and Touka try to tell off Ayato and Hinami for having sex angrily but then Hinami’s retort is “at least we //used// a condom!” write it however, I just need this :)

Ayato stumbles out of his room, still in his pajamas, late for another GOAT meeting.

“Oops!” Hinami clamors out after him, wearing a nightgown.

Tsukiyama shrieks. “Tres bien, little HInami!”

“What’s all this?” Kaneki enters the hallway and promptly faints.

When he awakens, Ayato and HInami stand awkwardly to one side, while Touka cradles his head and shoots dagger eyes at Ayato.

“I can’t fucking believe you,” Touka hisses.

“Romance is good!” Tsukiyama cheers.

“Shut up, you.” Touka turns back to Ayato. “Hina’s a child!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, I am not, Onee-chan.” Hinami stomps her foot. “Stop thinking of me that way. I like Ayato and I’m proud to have made love to him.”

Kaneki gurgles. Tsukiyama squeals. And Touka tries not to vomit.

“You know,” Ayato says slyly, taking Hinami’s hand. “At least we used a condom.”

Kaneki pales. Okay, okay, they’ve been bested. Touka narrows her eyes.

“I gave them a proper talk,” Tsukiyama adds unhelpfully. “So I wouldn’t expect any nieces or nephews soon.”

Ayato leans over to kiss Hinami.

“Kaneki, we failed to lead by example,” Touka whispers.

“Touka, I’m scared,” he whispers back.

A scenario where Arata comes back and Yomo tells Touka and Ayato he’s their uncle

ANGST OF GLORY

Touka drops her plate. Yomo enters her new cafe, Dragon, with someone leaning on his shoulder.

Everyone’s been out raiding the CCG tanks, while she sits here on bloated ankled with a bloated stomach. Eto and Yoshimura she’s heard were discovered, and she can’t wait to see Yoshimura and punch Eto.

But the man leaning against Yomo, the thin man with her blue hair and Ayato’s eyes.

Yomo sees the confusion on her face.

“What’s all this? Dropping a plate?: Ayato saunters in, Hinami by his side.

“Oh hell no!” He screams, and flees upstairs.

“Hina.” Touka manages.

“On it.” Hinami thunders after Ayato. “Don’t make Yotsume angry!”

“Dad?” Touka whispers.

Arata’s eyes focus on his daughter. His very pregnant daughter.

Kaneki enters the room, dragging Ayato by his feet while Hinami takes his hands.

“That’s your son-in-law.” Yomo points to Kaneki, who pales.

He’s been outed way too soon. Damn you, Yomo.

Touka approaches hesitantly.

“I – I’m sorry,” Arata says. All these years he’s been gone. And now –

Touka is afraid to hug him. Bu she remembers Akira, and what Akira wouldn’t give for this chance.

So she does. Arata gasps with happiness he knows he doesn’t deserve.

“This is Ayato and your future-daughter-in-law,” Yomo narrates.

Ayato and Hinami turn red. But then Hinami shoves him forward, and he starts sobbing into Arata’s shoulders.

“Thank you, Yomo. For taking care of them,” Arata says.

“I didn’t much. That was Yoshimura,” Yomo admits.

“You knew each other?” Hinami’s eyes are wide.

“He’s Hikari’s brother,” Arata says gently.

“Wait what.” Touka steps back to stare at Yomo.

Ayato kicks him in the shins.

“I was too afraid of failure to tell you,” Yomo admits.

“And here I thought I was the one afraid of failure,” Kaneki says.

“Hey, you’re lucky I didn’t beat the shit out of you, kid,” Yomo snaps.

Arata is amazed. Someone, these people made a family without even considering bloodlines.

He loves them all. He hopes they forgive him.

He touches Touka’s belly. “Boy or girl?”

“Twins,” she replies with a straight face.

Arata collapses as Touka shrieks. “I was kidding! Kidding!”

The ships as weird couple stock photos?

Touken –

Hidekane –

Shuuneki –

Akiramon –

Seiaki-

Takirona

Nishikimi –

Irimi/Koma –

Irimi/Take

Yoshimura/Ukina –

Ayahina –

UtaRen –

Utatori –

Tsukikana –

Tsukichie –

Arieto

Uihai-

Nakimiza –

Yoriko/Takeomi –

Suzuhan –

Matsurie –

Urisai-

Mutsurie –

Mutsuki/Kaneki

Shiraiko –

Saiko/Hsaio –

Maruchika –

Fururize –

Higemaru/Hakatori (Higetori)

Okay, who did I miss?

updated to include take/irimi and higetori.

What songs do each of the tg re pairings (canon or not) remind you of? In my opinion HideKane currently makes me think of Wolves by Selena Gomez and Mutsuki x Kaneki/Sasaki from Mutsuki’s end

Hidekane – Wolves by Selena Gomez

Touken – Warm Blood, Flor

Shuuneki – All My Heroes, Bleachers

Akiramon – Aquaman, Walk the Moon

Seiaki – Rotten, The Naked and Famous

Mutsurie – Unconditionally, Katy Perry

Mutsuki/Sasaki – We Sink, Chvrches

Urisai – Hold Back the River, James Bay

Saiko/Hsaio – Boom Clap, Charlie XCX

Shiraiko – Gone Gone Gone, Phillip Phillips

Tsukikana – XO, Beyonce

Tsukichie – Young Blood, The Naked and Famous

Utaren – Wallflowers, The Chain Gang of 1984

Utatori – Look What You Made Me Do, Taylor Swift

Suzuhan – Let’s Hurt Tonight, OneRepublic

Maruchika – Walking the Wire, Imagine Dragons

Nishikimi – Gravity, Jai Wolf

Takirona – Something Just Like This, The Chainsmokers

Fururize – Bad Blood, Taylor Swift

Uihai – Shut Up and Dance, Walk the Moon

Arieto – F**K with You, Cardiknox

Ayahina – Beating Heart, Ellie Goulding

Yoshimura/Ukina – The Energy Never Dies, The Script

Nakimiza – The Cure, Lady Gage

Plus thirteen years when Touka and Kaneki’s daughter (who I’ve named Kaori) finds an old photo of kuroneki and Touka in part one and asks about it?

I like the name!

“Mom?” Kaori holds up a photo album. Laughter ripples from her throat.

“Hmm?” Touka turns around.

“Why does Dad have an eyepatch?”

“Oh!” Touka smiles. “That’s from around the time we first met. I called him a useless idiot. He could barely fight. He’d only just become a half-ghoul.”

“Wow.” Kaori squints. “He looks so timid.”

“He was. He was also the sweetest boy I’d met, and that angered me.” Touka laughs now. “That hasn’t changed.”

“Oh, please.” Kaori rolls her eyes. “Don’t get sappy with me.”

“Someday, you’ll appreciate it!”

Kaneki enters the room. “What are we talking about?”

“How obnoxiously nice you are, Daddy.” Kaori smiles at him, and Kaneki can’t resist smiling back. She is his princess.

Kaneki and Touka engage in a heartfelt conversation and Touka decides to give one of his incomprehensible books (a Takatsuki Sen book) a try despite her dislike of classic lit and Kaneki helps her with reading the parts she has trouble with

This is so freaking cute, I’m answering it way early.

Touka gulps at the book in her hands. Monochrome of Rainbows.

She figures she could start with short stories and work her way up to Dear Kafka or The Black Goat’s Egg.

But why go easy on herself? That’s not the way of Kirishima Touka. Or is her name Kaneki Touka now?

Whatever. Last night Kaneki was blathering on about teaching their little sprout Takatsuki Sen’s stories, and she realized she might miss out if she doesn’t read it.

So here she is.

Touka grabs King Bileygr, the most recent novel. This one supposedly fictionalizes CCG’s history. Reading it is helpful to GOAT’s cause, right?

But after one chapter, her head is throbbing. What is the meaning of Takatsuki’s poetic language? There has to be some meaning. But she can’t get it.

Why couldn’t Kaneki love biology or something?

“What are you doing?” Kaneki frowns as he re-enters their room.

“Reading. What’s it look like?” she retorts.

“How do you like it?” he asks eagerly.

“Uh – why does she phrase her sentences like this?” Touka narrates an example. “It seems unnecessary.”

“Ah! I’m not entirely sure, but I think she puts the clauses where she does to create a sentence where there’s an inner part and an outer part, almost reflecting the prison she’s writing about on a sentence-level.” Kaneki hurries over. “What part are you at?”

“The second chapter,” Touka admits.

“That’s actually a very important chapter. The little details come back to matter much more later. Want help with the words?” Kaneki hovers over her shoulder.

“Yes.” Touka smiles up at him. For a second, she feels like everything is normal, like they’re back in Anteiku.

He just better not name their kid Bileygr.

Hello! Could you please do Eto having the, somewhat threatening “Mother to future daughter-in-law” talk, with Touka about being in a relationship with her son Kaneki!

“So.” Eto leans against the tunnel wall, smirking at Touka.

“What do you want, you green bitch?” Touka crosses her arms.

“Why, the Mother-to-Daughter-in-Law talk, of course.” Eto flounces closer.

“Since when are you Kaneki’s mother?!”

“I made him into what he is today. He’s practically my child, dear.” Eto reaches out to adjust Touka’s bangs. “And I want to be sure you’re dedicated to him.”

“Of course I am!” Touka is offended.

“Good.” Eto wiggles her eyebrows. “Hurt him and I’ll feed you to my kakuja. Don’t worry, I’ll also tell him if he hurts you, I’ll eat him too. I’m an equal-opportunity feeder.”

“Oh my god,” Touka mutters. “You’re not going anywhere near us or our children!”

“Ch – children?” Eto looks positively delighted. “I’m about to be a grandmother! How about that!”

She pauses. Her sole kakugan blazes. “Wait. You slept with my son?!”

saiko finding out touka is pregnant so she calls her papa and touka doesnt have a choice

“Papa, you love us, right?” Saiko smiles at the woman whose lap is currently Kaneki’s pillow, and whose feet are currently Mutsuki’s dream toy. Or so it seems, because he keeps batting at them like a cat while sleeping.

Touka sputters. “Papa?!”

“You’re gonna have a baby with Maman. That makes you Papa,” Saiko says seriously.

“Just go with it,” Urie advises.

“Do you have a name for this kid? I know plenty of historical names,” Higemaru says eagerly.

“Kaneki wants a literary name,” Touka admitted.

“What do you want?” Hsaio asks, leaning closer.

“A name they’ll like.” Touka shrugs, with a small smile. “That’s it.” Her eyes travel to the corner. “Aura, are you still sulking? Get over here.”

He tiptoes closer. “You – you really don’t hate me?”

“Nah, we’re family. My brother once tore out my kagune.” Touka smiles.

“Thanks, Papa,” he mutters.

Touka scowls.

Aura winks.

“You’re doing that on purpose,” she hisses.

“Yup.” He laughs and settles besides Higemaru.

“Papa is gonna be a good papa,” sings Saiko.

With Ken on her lap and Mutsuki by her feet, with the rest of their wacky family surrounding them, Touka feels that maybe she will be.

Request! A cute little story about how the other q-squad members meet Touka for the first time when they inevitably pair up to fight dragoneki and they think she is beautiful. Then later the find out she is Sasaki’s wife and they’re all like “HOLY FUCK” except Saiko who is screaming “FUCK YEAH!” (Couldn’t get this scenario out of my head lol)

“She’s so cute,” Hsaio whispers to Saiko, watching the little ghoul bark out orders to the rest of Sasaki’s GOAT.

Saiko nods eagerly. She’ll gladly follow this badass lady into battle.

“Alright, Yonebayashi.” Touka puts her hands on her hips. “Let’s save your Maman.”

Higemaru giggles and blushes like a fool.

“What are you staring at? Go back up your squad,” Touka orders. But Higa can see relief in her eyes, relief that they too care about her friend Kaneki.

“What should I do?” Urie Kuki approaches.

“You stay with me and Tsukiyama. We’re gonna distract this beast while Yonebayashi uses her kagune to cut it out.” Touka and Tsukiyama activate their kagunes.

“Oh, and please do something about your green hair friend and his dramatic counterpart!” Touka adds.

“Mutsuki?” Urie’s eyes widen. “I haven’t seen him all day.”

“He’s not back?” Touka looks unsettled. Relieved, but unhappy all at once.

“Let’s focus.” Tsukiyama lifts his koukaku. “Let’s see if Quinxes are all they cracked up to be.”

“My kagune is bigger,” Urie snaps.

Touka can’t resist a laugh, even in all this despair. She sends shards of Rc cells into the dragon. I’ll rescue you yet. “Ken was right about you.”

Hsaio and Higemaru swoop in and deal the first blows to the dragon’s neck.

Saiko fashions her kagune into a claw and sinks deep, deep into the dragon’s flesh. It screams, but Touka keeps firing Rc shards, and Tsukiyama and Urie protect her from any falling debris.

“GOT HIM!” Saiko howls. She rips Kaneki Ken’s limp body from the dragon. It begins to fall, and Hsaio and Higa grab for her.

“Look out!” Touka uses her ukaku to fly for Saiko, at the same time –

no –

Aura Shinsanpei flies for her. “Get the asshole. I’ll get her!”

Touka obeys as Mutsuki scrambles up to Urie. “What happened?! Why are you working with – with her? Don’t you know she’s the reason Sensei left?”

Tsukiyama laughs as Touka and Aura touch back onto the ground, one cradling Kaneki, the other holding Saiko. “She’s not the reason at all. But she may be the reason he lives thus far.”

“Huh?” Urie frowns.

“Tsukiyama!”

Tsukiyama, of course, ignores her. “Touka and Kaneki are married.”

Mutsuki gulps and has the decency to look guilty. Aura flushes.

“HOLY FUCK!” yells Urie.

“No way!” Higemaru does a happy dance.

“That gives me hope,” says Hsaio.

“FUCK YEAH!” Saiko wraps Touka and Maman in a hug.

Touka laughs. Perhaps, so long as Mutsuki isn’t still trying to kill her, she can get used to Kaneki’s strange, strange family.