Valentine’s Day headcanons for the following couples: Touken, Ayahina, Akiramon, Seiaki, Takirona, Mutsurie, Shiraiko, Saiko/Hsiao, Suzuhan, Fururize, Nishikimi, Tsukikana, Higetori, Uihai, Nakimiza, Arieto, Utaren. Bless you.

Bless you this Day of the Valentine, too. ❤

Touken

– Touka tackles Kaneki and drags him back to bed in the morning. 😉

– Kaneki buys her a ghoul-friendly cake. Three tiers, like a wedding cake.

– Touka has bought him a first edition of his Franz Kafka’s Metamorphosis.

– Kaneki tacles Touka and takes her back for an early night. 😉

Ayahina

– Ayato forgot it was Valentine’s Day. After cursing himself out, he races to buy her a card before she wakes up.

– She knew he forgot, but it’s okay. She has her own surprise for him.

– Ayato returns, having hastily scribbled his devout love in her card.

– Hinami has bought Ayato a parakeet. Ayato practically cries in happiness.

Akiramon

– Amon is as smooth as Touka’s coffee. Flowers, chocolate, Maris Stella to pat as soon as Akira awakens.

– Akira is ready to counter him with ghoul-suited food for him, sweetened with as much sugar as a ghoul can tolerate.*

– Takes Akira out to a spicy curry shop for dinner.

*Given that Kaneki originally ate sugar cubes with blood, I’m guessing ghouls can tolerate some sugar, and Akira is ON it.

Seiaki

– Takizawa is terrified that he hasn’t bought her enough chocolate.

– His heart-shaped box is half the size of Akira.

– Akira laughs and tells him thank you, before revealing they have plans to spend the day in a dog and cat cafe.

Takirona

– Takizawa is a bit shy, but he’s bought Kurona flowers and Touka’s magnificent coffee.

– She kisses him and tells him he’s more than enough to make her happy.

– They spend their night in, watching Netflix and cuddling and talking about feelings.

Mutsurie

– Urie sweeps Mutsuki off his feet immediately.

– He’s pleased when Mutsuki promptly knocks his feet out from under him.

– They’re discovered making out in the halls outside their room.

Shiraiko

– Shirazu is stunned to wake up to Saiko serving him breakfast in bed.

– When he asks her how she woke up in time, she cheerfully says she didn’t go to sleep, because he is that important to her.

– She of course then snuggles with him, cuddling and eating the feast she’s prepared (with Kaneki’s cooking help).

Hsaiko

– Hsaio cosplays as Saiko’s favorite manga character to wake her up.

– Saiko insists that both can be late for work. … Not for sleep. 😉

– Saiko runs around bragging about her sexy girlfriend, and consults Hairu for how marriage is best sprung to a garden ghoul.

Suzuhan

– Hanbee takes Suzuya out for ice cream.

– Suzuya takes Hanbee to the latest Disney movie. He likes it, too. By the end, Hanbee is sobbing into Suzuya’s arms.

– At home, Hanbee discovers flowers decorating his room.

Fururize

– Furuta is awakened by Rize love-biting him

– He will take her to an all-you-can-eat restaurant suitable for ghouls, and think himself the luckiest man alive every time she steals a glance.

– Rize: “Are you feeding me so I have the energy to dominate you tonight?”

– Furuta: *mews*

Nishikimi

– Nishiki: “Since you were okay with putting a bangle around my wrist, what if I put a ring around your finger?”

– Kimi: *eyes wide* “Nishiki-kun!”

– Nishiki: “I mean, I don’t have it yet. But I figured I’d ask. For future reference.”

– Kimi: “Now I’m half tempted to make you put it around my middle finger.”

Tsukikana

– Tsukiyama awakens Karren by sprinkling diamonds and gold dust on her.

– Karren has collaborated with Chie to get the best, most exotic food for Shuu..

– They dance the night away, until Karren suggests another form of dance. 😉

Higetori

– Higemaru’s a bit concerned Hakatori will find it dumb, but he would totally propose on Valentine’s Day.

– She says yes, then chastises him for giving her a present she can’t top.

– Her present, however, involves a concert and “Higemaru appreciation day,” in which she’s convinced all the Aogiri kids to make him cards.

Uihai

– Can you say PREPARED. Ui’s been planning their dinner at the best restaurant in town for months. He buys Hairu a gargantuan chocolate heart, which she promptly breaks in two for him.

– Hairu gives him tickets for a play Ui’s been dying to see, for the next weekend.

– Hairu suggests snuggles after they walk home.

Nakimiza

– Once Naki heard about this tradition of celebrating love, he ran around consulting ways to celebrate Miza.

– He throws confetti (supplied by Tsukiyama) on her, and she kisses him.

– “You know, you could have just wished me a happy Valentine’s Day and that would be enough,” says she. He then cries about how it wouldn’t be enough for Miza.

Arieto

– Let’s see, how can Eto troll the Reaper?

– bribes access to CCG for herself, then appears in Arima’s office yelling “boo!”

– Arima’s office door closes for the next few hours.

Utaren

– Uta is determined to embarrass Yomo.

– He buys him a ridiculously sized box of chocolates neither can eat, and a new coat

– To his surprise, Yomo has also bought him paint for masks. But Uta’s real treat is how flustered and flushed Yomo is.

Au where the ccg create a time portal to the future and out comes touken child in their late teens (choose a name). The boy realizes what happened and refuses to talk to anybody there or answer and questions, only asking to speak to Haise Sasaki. They bring him in with the qs trailing behind and as soon as he sees has he barrels towards him in a bear hug exclaiming “Dad!”

Kaneki Hideyoshi cowers before Washuu Yoshitoki. He recognizes him from the portraits.

“Where are you from, son?” Yoshitoki’s voice is gentle, but Hide knows better. This man helped cover up Tsuneyoshi’s crimes.

He’s not trusting him.

And so Hideyoshi hunches over, arms crossed, glaring at the floor.

“You just appeared out of nowhere. And you’re part ghoul. We’d like to help you, but you need to help us first,” says Uncle Marude.

Someday you’ll take me motorcycling, Hide wants to tell him, but can’t just yet.

His best chance is finding his way back to the time portal, but to do that, he needs to get out of this interrogation room, and that’s not looking likely.

Mom is gonna kill him for messing with the portal, and he’s okay with that, so long as he’s back in his own time, when humans and ghouls cooperate.

“I need to…to speak to Sasaki Haise,” he manages.

“How do you know him?” Yoshitoki queries.

“I just do. Please.” Hide touches his chin, his famous I’m scared tell.

Yoshitoki sighs. “Marude, have Kuriowa escort him to the floor.”

“Are you sure?”

“Don’t think we’re getting anywhere otherwise.” Yoshitoki shrugs.

Hide gasps as Kuriowa Iwao, his girlfriend’s grandfather who died before either were born, enters the room. He’s larger than Hide imagined.

Iwao frowns at the lanky kid, who gawks at him as if they’ve met before. But Hide is too scared to say anything as Iwao leads him, handcuffed, to the elevators. Instead, he memorizes every move so he can relay this to his girlfriend.

Once they reach the offices, Iwao knocks on a door. “Sasaki?”

“Hmm?” A purple-haired grump yanks open the door.

Hide gasps. Uncle Urie! Uncle Mutsuki and Aunt Saiko behind them, and – the Uncle Shirazu he never got to meet.

“What is it?” A black-and-white, fluffy-haired investigator glances up.

Hide can no longer contain himself. He steps closer, wishing he wasn’t handcuffed, wishing he could reach out. “Dad.”

“Huh?” Saiko’s mouth falls open.

“Who?” Sasaki looks confused. But…but something about this kid seems familiar after all…

“I’m Hideyoshi, named after Nagachika, and I’m from the future. I know you won’t believe me, but I promise you I am,” Hide begs.

“Huh?”

“Has Takeomi asked Yoriko to marry him yet? Their daughter is my girlfriend,” Hide blurts out, turning to Iwao.

“This is bullshit,” Urie grumbles.

“You like Mutsuki,” Hide shoots back.

Urie turns the color of his hair, Mutsuki gasps, and Shirazu slips an arm around Hide. “I like this kid. He’s like a clairvoyant ghoul.”

“I’m part human, too,” Hide protests. He probably shouldn’t say Mom’s name, lest the CCG search for ghouls named Touka.

“Let’s listen.” Shirazu smiles.

Sasaki hasn’t moved. “Uh.”

“Is it that strange that CCG would build a time portal?” Hide protests.

“No,” Iwao says quietly, to Sasaki’s surprise.

“Fine,” says Sasaki, peering at the kid’s blue, familiar hair, “Let’s listen.”

Lmao virgin old man Uta. Crank scenario when Kaneki and Touka tell Uta she’s pregnant and him being super awkward yet somehow smooth like “oh uh I’m still a vrigin” and yomo is there for some reason and no one knows what to say so touka blurts out something embarrassing about kaneki

“Thanks for rescuing Yomo,” Touka says. She sits besides Kaneki’s bedside in CCG’s infirmary. Yomo stands behind her.

Uta waves his hand. “Of course.”

Touka sighs. She still feels awful for leaving Yomo. Although he pushed it. Although he wanted her to run. “I can’t wait until this baby is born and I can return to guarding my old uncle.”

Kaneki snorts, and Yomo scowls. “Fat chance, kid.”

Uta chokes. “Baby?”

“Yeah.” Touka points at her stomach.

“Kaneki?” Uta’s eyes pop. He doubles over laughing.

“It’s not funny. It’s beautiful,” Yomo snaps.

“It’s funny because I can’t believe you kids had sex before I managed to seduce someone,” Uta jokes.

Yomo pales. Kaneki sits up, looking more alive – with fright – than he has since Dragon. Touka turns bright red.

“What?” Uta demands.

“Gosh, he’s so much more nonchalant about being a virgin than you were, Kaneki,” Touka says.

“Hey,” Yomo whispers. “Uta, why did you rescue me again?”

crack head cannon (takes place after the conference for stopping kaneki and everyone is kinda just mulling around): touka is sitting quietly, sipping on decaf coffee when 3 nameless ccg start harassing her. She ignores them and tries to shoo them away with “i have a husband” but they get cocky and insult him while asking where he is. Her answer: pointing out the nearest window at kaneki wrapped around a building and muttered something about how much of a dumbass he is. They get scared and leave

Okay but this is awesome.

Content note for sexual harassment.

“Hey, cutie.” A CCG official sidles up to the Rabbit ghoul, who’s sipping decaf coffee with a gloomy look on her pretty face. “You should smile more.”

Akira Mado glances up from behind the pretty ghoul, eyes blazing.

That goddamn feminist traitor is offended over a ghoul now? Apparently so. “Say what?”

“I just mean she’s really pretty,” he says quickly.

“Thanks.” The rabbit doesn’t even glance at him.

He feels aggravated. Doesn’t she know she’s in CCG, on his hospitality?

“You hardly look like the ghoul I expected,” he tries again.

“Oh, you were expecting monsters?” challenges Miza of the Three Blades. God, why are there so many women here? He just wants to talk to the pretty one.

“No, but I wasn’t expecting someone so beautiful.”

The rabbit looks up in exasperation. “I have a husband.”

“Who doesn’t even have the balls to stick by his wife in hostile territory?” scoffs the man. “I wouldn’t leave you, sweetie.”

“He’s preoccupied.” Touka points towards the writhing dragon outside. “That’s him. He’s a fucking dumbass with great balls, thank you very much, goodbye.”

The man’s eyes widen. Kaneki Ken is married to the rabbit? What the hell?

He scuttles away. Maybe Kaneki will die or something.

Hopefully he won’t eat him. The man gulps.

“Maybe we’ll get lucky and Kaneki will eat a few misogynists,” Akira says dryly. Touka and Miza snicker.

In this situation, they all need humor.

Saiko’s vine account is called boobsweat or pikapikabitch

It’s called boobsweat of pikapikabitch.

She also hands out advice for boob attacks to calm guys down, the best ways to avoid work, recovering from abusive parenting, and, recently, how to save your distraught friends and family.

Occasionally, she uses her kagune to show elaborate sculptures, too. Those ones aren’t as popular peoples humans are squicky about kagunes, but Saiko’s proud of herself for combating Quinx stigma…and now ghoul stigma.

She also reviews push-up bras, which Touka and Hsaio have taken advantage of more than once.

Except when Touka told Kaneki she got the idea from Saiko, that kinda killed his sex drive for the night.

Kakuja!Touka headcanons?

– her kakuja looks like a rabbit flying on flames.

– Kakuja Touka is still very sexy to Kaneki. They once tried to, ah, include their kakujas in their sexy times. It did not go well.

– Ayato is hella jealous.

– She loves having a kakuja. It makes her feel more like a badass, and it’s super useful for enclosing her baby for protection.

– Inspired by Touka, Kaneki wrote a children’s book called The Rabbit and the Centipede.

– She mostly uses it on missions to help secure peace between humans and ghouls. However, on occasion she uses it to scare Ayato and Yomo. The latter involved her running up to him, imitating a kids voice. “Uncle, uncle, look what I can do!” He nearly fainted and definitely needed a drink afterwards.

– Tsukiyama helpfully informed Touka she smelled “infinitely more delicious” since becoming a kakuja.

crack head cannon: ken kaneki’s full name is kenneth kaneki and touka calls him kenneth when she is mad, annoyed, or as a last resort when she repeatedly tries to get his attention. Quinx squad witness it for the first time and they think its the funniest shit cause he’s never heard of sasaki’s real full name before that.

“I’m hungry,” Touka mumbles, rubbing her swollen belly. She reclines on the sofa in the Chateau, feeling like a beautiful whale. She’s eight months pregnant and not very happy right now. But Saiko and Hsaio just did her toenails, and she’s never had nail polish before.

Mutsuki leaps to his feet, but Touka shakes her head. “Let Ken handle it.”

Kaneki is conferring with Higemaru and Urie across the room.

“Ken?” Touka calls.

He doesn’t appear to hear over Higemaru’s excited chatter.

“He’s literally showing Kaneki his monster drawings,” Aura says.

“Ken.” Touka narrows her eyes and clears her throat. “KENNETH!”

Kaneki jumps. “Touka? Is it time? What’s wrong?”

“I want Rc chips.” Touka pouts.

“Coming right up!” He putters into the kitchen, and Saiko finally releases her peals of laughter.

“Kenneth?” Aura cries in disbelief. “You’ve got to be shitting me.”

“Like the Barbie doll?” Urie grins wickedly.

“Yup.” Touka holds a finger to her lips. “Don’t tell him I told you.”

So of course, the moment Kaneki hurries back into the den, all the Quinx chime in, “Hiiiiiii Kenneth.”

I have an weird ship about Oneshot!Kaneki and TokyoGhoul!Touka, if it’s possible can i have hcs on them?

– Oneshot!Neki really enjoys Touka stroking his eight-pack. And she really enjoys it too.

– He’s still a boobs man, and still left in aw at Touka’s ukaku agility.

– Touka still fell for him the day she attacked the doves. Oneshot!Neki told her he’d care if she died, and that he would have helped her come up with a better plan to kill them so she wouldn’t risk herself.

– Oneshot!Neki fell for Touka one day when she confronted him about killing people. She asked if they were both bad for killing people in anger and suggested that they should try to never kill people again. He that they would work together to avoid killing in general, but it might sometimes be necessary if CG came for them. He admired this ghoul who dared him to kill even less than he already did.

– Oneshot!Neki teases Touka back a lot more than TG!Neki. They sometimes have food-throwing contests when no customers are in.

– Touka teases him endlessly on his fake smile. She can tell when he’s genuine and when he’s not, and to him, this is one of her most treasured characteristics.

Scenario with pregnant Touka at the beach

“I feel like a whale,” Touka mutters, stretching out on the sizzling sand.

“You’re beautiful!” Kaneki cries, rubbing more sunscreen into her shoulders.

“Meh.” Touka pokes her seven-months-pregnant belly. “Well, the kid’s awake, so they must love the beach.”

“Good.” Kaneki pats her stomach.

“Touka!” Hinami and Ayato race back from the boardwalk. “Here, we got you ice.”

Hinami shoves a snow cone in Touka’s face. It hasn’t been more than two weeks that ghouls have been able to eat human food. And Touka has, correspondingly, not been able to get enough of sugar.

“Isn’t it good?” Kaneki asks eagerly as his wife takes a bite.

Touka closes her eyes with pleasure. “This is amazing. Humans are so creative.”

Ayato snorts, but he’s also nursing his own chocolate ice cream cone, so he can’t tease her too much.

“Want to go for a walk in the surf, Onee-chan?” Hinami asks.

“Ayato, when are you going to make Touka officially Hinami’s Onee-chan?” Kaneki whispers as his wife saunters off with Hina.

“Not before I stab you.” He sticks out his tongue.

———————————-

Touka sniffs the salty, sweet air as surf pounds around her ankles. “The water feels good on my feet.”

“Good.” Hinami smiles.

“I’m still gonna play volleyball when Akira and Amon get here,” Touka grouses.

“Obviously. With your ukakus, you and Ayato will dominate,” Hinami says with a smirk.

“I don’t know, if the Quinx show up to help Akira, we’re done,” Touka jokes. Her snow cone dribbles around her lips, red as blood.

Hinami giggles as two figures wave from down the beach. “That’ll be Akira and Amon.”

Touka grins as they draw closer. “Hey there.”

Amon nearly chokes.

“Huh?” Touka’s eyes widen with the realization.

Akira elbows him with a laugh. “Amon, dear, it’s a snow cone.”

“I’m sorry!” Amon exclaims. He doesn’t want to make her feel any worse. Really.

Touka flicks cherry syrup onto his face. “There. Now we’re even.”

Scenario where Kaneki and Touka aren’t yet married or have a child on the way but they’re engaged. dragon still happened but it’s over and everyone’s made up so it’s time for the wedding. It’s regal and stunning like a royal human wedding. qs attend, ghouls attend, ccg attends. A happy affair to the start of a brighter future. (kinda modeled after the wedding scene in Kingsman the golden circle if you’ve seen that) (also kaneki totally has slicked back hair)

“Are you ready?” Yomo avoids looking at Touka because if he does, he’ll start crying.

“Yes!” Touka smiles at her bridesmaids. Hinami is the maid of honor; Yoriko, Saiko, Hsaio, Miza, and, of all people, Akira, comprise the rest.

Hide, Ayato, Mutsuki, Urie, Higemaru, and Aura approach as the groomsmen.

“I’m so happy for you,” Mutsuki tells Touka, who smiles back.

In the hall, the music starts. Chie begins snapping photos. Tsukiyama claps at as Hinami glides down the aisle, her arms linked with Hide’s.

Yoriko follows with Urie, and Takeomi beams, remembering his own wedding day.

Mutsuki and Saiko follow, barely able to contain their own excitement. Saiko winks at Kaneki, whose white hair has been slicked back “fashionably” by Tsukiyama, before standing besides her fellow bridesmaids.

Hanbee begins to cry when Hsaio passes with Higemaru, to Keijin’s horror. Mikage follows suit, and before Marude can object, all of Squad Suzuya is crying.

Then it’s Hsaio with Aura. His aunt smiles happily at him, and when Ui Koori gives Hsaio a small smile, joy explodes in her heart. If Ui approves, Big Sister Hairu would approve, and that’s all she wants.

Takizawa nudges Amon as Akira passes, her golden head held high. Besides him, Kurona and Hakatori smile from ear-to-ear.

Ayato and Miza pass last. Miza notices that Ayato’s flesh feels horribly cold. Probably with shock.

The music swells. Nishiki sniffles and stares straight ahead. Kimi silently hands him a tissue.

Touka emerges with Yomo clinging to her arm.

“Definitely clinging,” Nico whispers to Itori, who makes a note to mention it later.

Uta is relieved to see that the dress looks perfect on Touka. All the hours he spent arguing on the precise design with Tsukiyama are worth it right now.

Touka laughs a little as she sees Kaneki waiting for her. He extends his shaking, sweating hand, and Touka clasps his hand in hers.

“Excellent,” says Mirumo from his perch behind the pulpit. “Shall we begin?”

Kaneki and Touka look out across the sea of former enemies turned into friends.

“Yes please,” Kaneki says.