Lmao virgin old man Uta. Crank scenario when Kaneki and Touka tell Uta she’s pregnant and him being super awkward yet somehow smooth like “oh uh I’m still a vrigin” and yomo is there for some reason and no one knows what to say so touka blurts out something embarrassing about kaneki

“Thanks for rescuing Yomo,” Touka says. She sits besides Kaneki’s bedside in CCG’s infirmary. Yomo stands behind her.

Uta waves his hand. “Of course.”

Touka sighs. She still feels awful for leaving Yomo. Although he pushed it. Although he wanted her to run. “I can’t wait until this baby is born and I can return to guarding my old uncle.”

Kaneki snorts, and Yomo scowls. “Fat chance, kid.”

Uta chokes. “Baby?”

“Yeah.” Touka points at her stomach.

“Kaneki?” Uta’s eyes pop. He doubles over laughing.

“It’s not funny. It’s beautiful,” Yomo snaps.

“It’s funny because I can’t believe you kids had sex before I managed to seduce someone,” Uta jokes.

Yomo pales. Kaneki sits up, looking more alive – with fright – than he has since Dragon. Touka turns bright red.

“What?” Uta demands.

“Gosh, he’s so much more nonchalant about being a virgin than you were, Kaneki,” Touka says.

“Hey,” Yomo whispers. “Uta, why did you rescue me again?”

I just found out that Brina Palencia is the English voice of both Touka and Yuno Gasai – so could you write a scenario where they meet (and for the fun of it, Yuno is an One-Eyed Ghoul in this idea)

I don’t know a lot about Future Diary, so I hope this came out okay! And now I want to watch it. o.O

“Another One-Eyed?” Touka snorts at the pink-haired girl before her, who snaps the scissors she holds.

“I’m Yuno Gasai.” She was escorted to the tunnels of the 24th ward by Naki. She’s not sure she likes it.

“Kirishima Touka.” Touka extends her hand. “Do you want coffee?”

“No.” Yuno doesn’t like the bars on the cells. They remind her of what Mom and Dad used to do. “I’m looking for my friend.”

“What’s their name?” Touka asks eagerly.

“Yukiteru.” Her eyes cool. “I have to save him. From those women.”

Touka feels uneasy. Something about this girl reminds her of Kaneki’s little friend, Mutsuki. “We haven’t seen anyone by that name, but we’ll look for him.”

She hesitates. She wants to understand Mutsuki, and maybe this girl too. “Why are you looking for him? Tell me about him.”

Yuno looks at her with suspicion.

“I love romance stories,” Touka says lightly, showing off her wedding ring.

Yuno brightens. She’s married. This girl isn’t a threat. “He…he’s the only one…who cares about me. He makes me happy.”

“Well, I care for you too,” Touka says.

Yuno grins. “He saved me.” He promised I would be his bride. Me, the murderer.

“My husband saved me, too. And I saved him more than a number of times,” Touka jokes. “I was quite the rampaging hellion when we met.”

The two ghouls laugh. Yuno feels hopeful. If Touka’s husband doesn’t think she’s crazy, there’s hope for her and Yukiteru, right?

She grabs Touka’s hand. “Be my friend.”

Can you write about a ghoul (any rc type, any Gender etc) suddenly trying to kill Touka because she killed an older sibling of theirs? Like, they have a trap-detachment ability with their kagune and attack the strongest first so they can more easily attack Touka (and to her surprise is stronger than her). They hate this “ghouls and humans working together” thing. Humans killed their parents, a ghoul – Touka killed their older sibling. Then they get talked to and maybe hugged bc they need it etc

Ayaka is thirteen years old. That’s old enough to know that humans and ghouls can’t work together. Her parents were just slaughtered by CCG. And years before, that bitch, the cafe manager, killed her older brother.

She won’t say his name until she kills Touka. She’ll scream his name before she strikes that ghoul down.

Because her parents being killed by CCG? That she understands. But a ghoul killing ghouls?

There’s no atonement. They should work with their fellow ghouls, not these shitty humans who will return to slaughtering them as soon as Kaneki is freed.

Goat begins to prepare to advance towards CCG. It’s suicide.

“You can’t be serious!” Ayaka screams suddenly, stepping forward.

Touka looks back with surprise from her position besides those former CCG officials, those humans.

She flies at Touka, using her detachable ukaku to distract. She nearly strikes her, but that stupid blonde human knocks Touka out of the way.

The tall human – the half-ghoul, now – pins Ayaka to the ground. “Kid, don’t make me hurt you.”

Hopelessness wells up inside Ayaka. Tears burn her eyes, but she can’t let them fall. “Why?”

Why has she failed again? Why is the world moving on, asking forgiveness for killers before she has had a chance for vengeance? Why has the world forgotten her?

“No one’s forgotten you,” says Touka, and Ayaka cringes. She’s been speaking aloud all this time.

“You did,” Ayaka accuses. “You killed my brother. Ito Akio. You kicked off his head five years ago.”

Touka blinks. Truth is, she doesn’t remember. But that sounds like her. “I’m so sorry.”

Ito Ayaka…weren’t her parents caught up in CCG’s genocide? Pity stirs in Touka’s heart.

“Fuck your apologies! I want him back, dammit!” Ayaka pounds the ground like a two-year-old. The half-human still holds her down, and she isn’t strong enough to save herself. “Why are we with humans now? We keep forgiving and giving and giving and there’s almost nothing left! I don’t – I don’t want to move on!”

Touka sighs and steps forward. She reaches a hand across to wipe the tears and dirt off Ayaka’s cheeks.

“I was a stupid and wrong as a kid, just like you. And I’m sorry about your brother. I wish I could bring him back.” Touka swallows. “But I can’t. All I can do is say that, if you want to honor your brother’s memory, you should aim for a world where kids don’t resort to violence as teens. So there’s never another one like him.”

“I want him back.”

“Me too,” says Touka, pushing Amon away to grab the girl in an embrace.

Ayaka tries to pull away, then surrenders to sob on Touka’s shoulder.

“You’re gonna be okay,” Touka tells her. “It’s not okay, but you will be.”

Ayaka looks around with a shudder. She suddenly realizes she may have exposed them by delaying.

She’s a monster, too. She expects Goat to be disgusted with her display, or hating Touka.

She sees neither. Just kindness and sympathy, and Yotsume is holding out her hand. Like she has a new family.

Ayaka sobs more, but she allows Goat to continue their march towards CCG, because where else will she go?

And Amon even offers her a piggyback ride to CCG.

She hasn’t forgiven, not yet, but someone else has forgiven her. And that gives her inexplicable hope.

Hakatori gets to know the Qs. Higetori.

“Hi.” Hakatori waves at the Quinx, who are gathered in the living room to the Chateau. Plus Kaneki Ken and Touka Kirishima. “Well, I know you two already.”

“But you don’t know meeeeeee.” Saiko rolls over to her. “Hi, I’m Saiko, and I have an awesome rinkaku.” In less than five seconds, she has molded her kagune into a skeleton.

“That’s amazing.” Hakatori gasps.

“I’m Hsaio.” A dark-haired girl smiles tentatively at her.

“The half-human.” Hakatori nods.

“I’m Aura.” A figure half-waves from the corner.

“He’s a grumps,” Higemaru whispers. She giggles.

“What’d you say?” Aura demands.

“Nothing untrue,” Hakatori replies with a gleam in her eyes.

“We’ve kinda met.” Mutsuki waves from the couch, where he snuggles against Urie.

“Well, I got to take on at least one Quinx bikaku now.” Hakatori grins at Higemaru. “But I’m always up for another.”

Mutsuki snorts. “I can mold mine too.”

“Wait, really? Teach me!” She looks thrilled. “Wait, teach both me and Hige.”

Higemaru grins. “We’ll be the bikaku terrors.”

“I’m already terrified,” Urie mutters as Higemaru pecks Hakatori on the lips in front of them all.

“Let’s spar together!” Higemaru wraps his arms around Hakatori. “Please?”

“If only to get you two off each other,” Touka teases.

“I can handle it.” Mutsuki waves his hand. “Saiko, help me teach them the art of kagune manipulation.”

At the end of the day, Hakatori has pinned Urie to the floor, Touka has Aura on his knees, Hsaio, Higemaru, and Mutsuki are at a standstill, and Kaneki has given up against Saiko, because she made her kagune into Haise Sasaki and he can’t stop laughing.

“Your family is wonderful,” Hakatori says, leaning over to whisper in Higemaru’s ear.

crack head cannon (takes place after the conference for stopping kaneki and everyone is kinda just mulling around): touka is sitting quietly, sipping on decaf coffee when 3 nameless ccg start harassing her. She ignores them and tries to shoo them away with “i have a husband” but they get cocky and insult him while asking where he is. Her answer: pointing out the nearest window at kaneki wrapped around a building and muttered something about how much of a dumbass he is. They get scared and leave

Okay but this is awesome.

Content note for sexual harassment.

“Hey, cutie.” A CCG official sidles up to the Rabbit ghoul, who’s sipping decaf coffee with a gloomy look on her pretty face. “You should smile more.”

Akira Mado glances up from behind the pretty ghoul, eyes blazing.

That goddamn feminist traitor is offended over a ghoul now? Apparently so. “Say what?”

“I just mean she’s really pretty,” he says quickly.

“Thanks.” The rabbit doesn’t even glance at him.

He feels aggravated. Doesn’t she know she’s in CCG, on his hospitality?

“You hardly look like the ghoul I expected,” he tries again.

“Oh, you were expecting monsters?” challenges Miza of the Three Blades. God, why are there so many women here? He just wants to talk to the pretty one.

“No, but I wasn’t expecting someone so beautiful.”

The rabbit looks up in exasperation. “I have a husband.”

“Who doesn’t even have the balls to stick by his wife in hostile territory?” scoffs the man. “I wouldn’t leave you, sweetie.”

“He’s preoccupied.” Touka points towards the writhing dragon outside. “That’s him. He’s a fucking dumbass with great balls, thank you very much, goodbye.”

The man’s eyes widen. Kaneki Ken is married to the rabbit? What the hell?

He scuttles away. Maybe Kaneki will die or something.

Hopefully he won’t eat him. The man gulps.

“Maybe we’ll get lucky and Kaneki will eat a few misogynists,” Akira says dryly. Touka and Miza snicker.

In this situation, they all need humor.

Some TG Characters in a Yakuza AU headcanons?

Okay tbh I’m not super familiar with the Yakuza, so if anything is inaccurate or comes across superficial I apologize!

– Furuta is still playing the Yakuza, just like he’s played everyone else.

– Kaneki is an ex-member who starts his own yakuza-like organization to fight back against some of the more seedy undertones, like human trafficking (Rize, Arima, and many of the Garden kids probably fit into this category).

– Gradually, Touka, a yakuza who is also member of the burakumin, convinces Kaneki he should also advocate against the discrimination groups like the burakumin receive. Kaneki’s goal becomes to reinvent the yakuza as the honorable and helpful organization he believes they can be.

– Ayato definitely used to be in the most violent branch, led by Eto, but is now in Kaneki’s branch.

– Uta and the clowns kinda stick on the periphery of the criminal underworld. They’re not members of the Yakuza, but they usually interact with their members.

– During Furuta’s gang war against Kaneki’s branch, the Oggai are just neighborhood kids Furuta groomed. 😦

– The Tsukiyama family definitely funds much of the Yakuza activities. However, Mirumo also made his fortune off these activities in the past.

Oneshot!Kaneki, TG!Touka and Hide (you can choose if you want an alternative oneshot version or the classic version) in high school as friends

– Hide’s the sunshine boy, but he and Oneshot!Kaneki became friends precisely because Kaneki didn’t like him. Hide just wore Kaneki down until Kaneki realized he missed Hide’s presence.

– Touka was once given detention for trying to punch another student. Hide and Kaneki arranged a plan for her to escape the detention room through the window, go get cake form the nearby bakery, and return in time.

– Hide loves passing notes. It annoys Touka, but she also likes breaking the rules. Kaneki hates it, but he’ll read them for his friends.

– They went to prom as a three-membered date. It was Hide’s idea, and Kaneki was quite enthusiastic. Touka was over the idea of prom, but she agreed for her friends.

– Oneshot! Kaneki can actually out-dance Hide, once he moves past his self-consciousness.

– Hide tried to lift Touka and dropped her instead. Oneshot!Neki caught her (or did she catch him? It’s unclear). And that’s how he won the Great Prom Dance-Off.

Mutsuki secretly retains his yandere feelings for his Sensei after fighting Saiko and Urie and works with them to get him out of Dragon hoping he’ll have a shred of affection for his former subordinate or will be overjoyed at the hand he had in saving him which he is. Kaneki is elated to see Mutsuki again and Touka let’s him take Mutsuki on a coffee and bookstore date to make him happy because god knows the poor kids need it

“Touka.” Kaneki, pale and weak and sweating, grabs her in a kiss.

Mutsuki watches, happy. Mostly. He misses Sensei. Like he’s watching a dream end. But it’s okay. He has Saiko and Urie.

Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt though.

“Mutsuki!” Kaneki turns to him next, and Mutsuki starts. “I’m so sorry!”

“You are?” Mutsuki asks. His voice is wobbly.

“To all of you.” Kaneki embraces the Quinx one at a time. Even Aura.

Mutsuki cherishes every moment of his hug before leaving with Urie and Saiko.

Two weeks later, Mutsuki is surprised to see Kaneki on the door of the Chateau. “Sensei?”

“Mutsuki, would you want to get coffee and search the bookstore with me?” Kaneki asks nervously.

Mutsuki hesitates. He shouldn’t. This is not going to help him.

“Touka said you seemed to miss me especially hard, so I wanted to make it up to you,” Kaneki adds.

She did? She doesn’t hate him? Mutsuki brightens. “Yes, let’s go.”

The coffee is the best Mutsuki’s had, and he and Sensei manage to find at least three new haiku books they’ve been wanting.

“Thank you!” Mutsuki beams at Sensei.

“Of course. We should keep hanging out.” Kaneki swallows. “Actually…Urie has asked me to return to the Chateau. But I don’t want to if Touka and I would upset you.”

“No, please do.” Mutsuki clutches Kaneki’s hand. “Please.”

He gets to live with Kaneki again. They can work on a healthy friendship. And maybe Touka can give him some advice on the sly looks Urie’s been giving Mutsuki.

He begins to cry.

“What’s wrong?” Kaneki asks in alarm.

“I’m just so happy,” Mutsuki whispers.

Oneshot!Kaneki and TG!Touka NSFW headcanons?

– Touka still asked Oneshot!Neki if he was a virgin, and his response was still pouring out his coffee.

– He then, however, asked why she was asking and flirted quite obviously with her.

– This led to them making out before Touka invited him back into her bedroom.

– Oneshot!Neki is a bit more forward than Kaneki was. He asked Touka if he could touch her boobs without hesitation.

– She told him, jokingly, yes, only if she could touch another part of him.

– Oneshot!Neki realized as soon as they were done that they hadn’t used protection. He tried not to bring it up to her, but finally his worry got the best of him and he asked if she was late.

– He was very supportive when she told him.

– He likes pleasuring Touka even more than having sex…with his kagune.

– Touka loves receiving his hickeys. Ayato has occasionally spotted them before her healing kicks in, and he’s cried.

– Touka is a hickey artist. Every time, Oneshot!Neki will receive a different hickey drawing on his back.

– Oneshot!Neki loves Touka in lingerie. Loves, loves, loves. It drives him wild.

Saiko’s vine account is called boobsweat or pikapikabitch

It’s called boobsweat of pikapikabitch.

She also hands out advice for boob attacks to calm guys down, the best ways to avoid work, recovering from abusive parenting, and, recently, how to save your distraught friends and family.

Occasionally, she uses her kagune to show elaborate sculptures, too. Those ones aren’t as popular peoples humans are squicky about kagunes, but Saiko’s proud of herself for combating Quinx stigma…and now ghoul stigma.

She also reviews push-up bras, which Touka and Hsaio have taken advantage of more than once.

Except when Touka told Kaneki she got the idea from Saiko, that kinda killed his sex drive for the night.