Crack head cannon: cochela doesn’t give prisoners haircuts, so when sasaki was released his hair was quite long and at first glance he could easily pass as a woman. During the tour around the ccg squad zero kids don’t help and further solidify to passerby’s that the new squad member is a girl much to Haises annoyance. Next day he comes in with a haircut. Everyone was left to believe the lady quit after her first day and tease Arima for years. Until Arima tells the story at Haises x mas party.

lollololololololllllllllllllllll

“Okay, okay, you think Hajime’s a brat, but do you know what the Squad Zero kids did?” demands Ui. His arm is almost, but not quite, around Hairu’s shoulders. Propriety. Yeah, that’s it.

“Do tell,” says Akira, clutching her seventh glass of wine.

“Please don’t,” says Sasaki.

“Arima, tell it.” Saiko winks. She’s heard Arima is a legendary storyteller, too.

Arima winces. “Well…”

“Come on, out with it.” Hairu giggles. Rikai, Yusa, and Shio bury their heads in their hands.

“So.” Arima sits down. “One long day, our Squad was gifted with a new investigator. Their hair was white and flowed to their shoulders. Shiny as a shampoo commercial.”

Sasaki’s face is now crimson.

“And then, our darling prodigies decided to introduce everyone to ‘the new woman in our squad.’”

“I was excited to have someone think we had three females,” Rikai insists.

“Was I not enough?” Hairu counters.

“Take me,” says Saiko.

“This new woman vanished the next day, and coincidentally, we replaced them wth Sasaki Haise.” Arima sips his tea. “Or so the Bureau Legend goes.”

Urie rolls his eyes. A grin spreads over Shirazu’s face.

“You mean that story isn’t true?” Mutsuki asks.

“Ask the lady.” Arima points to Sasaki. “Amazing what the power of a haircut can do.”

“You!” Akira doubles over laughing.

“You kids were such a handful!” Ui shakes his head at the three junior investigators.

“Don’t ruin our urban legend,” Shio begs. “Keep it quiet.”

“We are powerful masters of myth,” Yusa intones.

“Madam Sasaki, may I have this dance?” Shirazu sticks out his hand.

“Sure.” Sasaki grabs Shirazu and spins him in a circle as everyone laughs.

Continuation of Mutsuki/Sasaki where Sasaki wants to get the Qs interested in reading/writing fiction after reading haiku’s with Mutsuki and having a great time and they’re not having it so Mutsuki persuades them into participating for his Sensei

“Ooh, are you sure?” Mutsuki grins. He loves reading fairy tales. He can’t believe Sasaki wants to read them, too.

“Yes,” says Sasaki. “It’d be great bonding time.”

“Would it?” Shirazu asks nervously. “I mean, some of those stories are dark shit.”

“Those are the best ones.” Saiko’s eyes sparkle. She, at least, is on board.

“Not a chance.” Urie crosses his arms. “I’m not reading little brat stories. Jesus.”

“Well, now we know who’s getting struck by lightning at the end of this story,” Sasaki jokes. Urie flushes.

“I’d like to. I think it’d be fun. Something lighthearted for after battle or something,” says Mutsuki, drawing his knees to his chest.

“Nah,” Urie says.

“Could we study the stories, then write our own?” Shirazu asks.

“Yes!” Mutsuki nods.

“Then I’m on board.”

“Have fun.” Urie stands.

“Wait,” Sasaki says.

“Urie,” begs Mutsuki. “Pleeeeeeease.”

“Nope.”

“Please.” Saiko falls prostate at Urie’s feet. Mutsuki clings to Urie’s legs. Shirazu even gets on his knees.

“It’d mean a lot to me,” Mutsuki stammers.

Urie sighs. “Fine. Just, fine. You better pick a good story, Sasaki.”

“Hurray!” Saiko and Mutsuki high-five. Sasaki smiles at Mutsuki with gratitude.

And now Mutsuki feels like he’s floating in a fairy tale.

Everytime Hsiao walks into a room, the rest of the Quinx can’t help but slip compliments about her thighs and hips into every sentence. To which she never notices.

“Hello Hsaio.” Saiko’s eyes are wide as Hsaio strides into the kitchen one morning. “You look beautiful this morning – I mean how could you not, with those legs.”

“Thanks!” Hsaio says brightly.

“Hsaio where can I get nylons like yours?” Higemaru waves his hands. “Or legs, for that matter.”

“Why do you want nylons?”

“Aura and I want to see who looks better in them.” Higemaru crosses his arms. “Hsaio will win, of course.”

“Higemau is crazy,” Aura begins. “And God dammit your hips are better shaped than my aunt’s.”

“Aura, you’re a little obsessed with Kiyoko,” Hsaio says. “It’s uncomfortable.”

“Uncomfortable like I feel with her legs,” Saiko whispers to Urie, who flushes.

“I’m sure Mutsuki’s legs are better,” he grumbles. Although it’s hard to have sexier legs than Hsaio Ching-Li.

“What are we all standing around for?” Mutsuki enters. “Hot damn Hsaio could turn me straight.”

“Saiko, do you have the coffee ready?” Hsaio smiles. “We have to get going or we’ll be late.”

Because to Hsaio, the only sexy legs worth talking about are Saiko’s.

Mutsuki confesses his feelings for Kaneki to him and gushes to him while holding his hands how much he loves and adores him and how attractive he finds Kaneki no matter how Kaneki/Kaneki’s body changes due to his life’s trying circumstances/traumas. Kaneki is touched when he learns about the depth of Mutsuki’s feelings for him and how he’ll never betray or abandon him. This is before he leaves the CCG and it’s this scenario that convinces Kaneki to stay with the Quinx as he feels loved

“I’m headed to Rushima.” Inside an empty interrogation room, Mutsuki waits for the Black Reaper to acknowledge his presence. He shakes from head-to-toe. Don’t you love us anymore?

“Good luck,” says Sasaki dully. He meets Mutsuki’s eyes for a second before glancing away.

“Your hair looks good black. And the glasses suit you!” Mutsuki forces a smile. It’s true. It’s just this angry personality that doesn’t fit.

“Thanks.”

“You’d look attractive no matter what, actually,” Mutsuki says with a giggle. He turns to leave, but why? He might die on Rushima. He might never see Sensei again.

Mutsuki spins around to face Sasaki again. “You know we Quinx love you, right? Even Urie. And I – I adore you no matter what. Even though you’ve abandoned us.”

He chokes up. “We’ve all been through so much. I can’t – you know we’re a family, right? We’ll never leave you. That’s what families do! Right?”

Sasaki’s face whitens.

“I love you, Sensei. And I want to tell you that. I love you a lot, and you mean so much to me, I promise.” Mutsuki wipes his tears off his cheeks.

The reaper’s upper lip trembles. Mutsuki loves him? Urie doesn’t blame him? Saiko cares?

Mutsuki throws himself into Sasaki’s arms. “Please hug me.”

Sasaki obliges. Mutsuki hears him sniffling. “Mucchan, of course I love you all. I’m sorry I’ve been horrible.”

“It’s okay; we’re all horrible,” Mutsuki insists. “Please come back to us. We’re here for you. Always. No matter what.”

Sasaki clutches Mutsuki tighter. For a moment, Kaneki Ken feels loved and safe again, even in is broken family. “Thank you.”

This is all he’s ever wanted.

Urie drawing mucchan for the first time.

SQUEE

Urie squints and holds up the green hair he – not creepily – plucked from Mutsuki’s hairbrush. His green is too dark.

He adds a dollop of white paint to the green and stirs.

Those eyes. Urie smiles like an idiot at the eyes he drew. They sparkle, just like Mucchan.

White clothing suits Mucchan, Urie thinks as he finally arrives at the correct hair color. Pristine, angelic, glowing. Mucchy.

Hopefully Mutsuki loves it. Hopefully this painting helps Mutsuki feel loved.

Urie begins adding color to Mutsuki’s hair. Ugh, he’s never been so nervous about a painting.

“Urie?” The door opens and Mutsuki’s mouth drops open. “Uh.”

“Hi!” Urie leaps in front of his painting. “Don’t worry about it. Don’t look. You saw nothing.”

“Urie, why are you drawing me?” Mutsuki shivers.

“Because you’re beautiful, why else?” Urie says grumpily. He doesn’t move out of the way, though. “It’s highly unfinished, though.”

“You think I’m interesting enough to draw?”

“Yeah.” Urie sighs and pulls back. “See?” He pauses. “Wait. Do you mind posing?”

Mutsuki shakes his head. “I’d be flattered.”

Urie can barely contain his excitement, even though outwardly he retains his classic grumpus look. But when Mutsuki smiles at him, Urie finally cracks a smile.

Urie has a little sister (who is gorgeous and is very clever) who is just joining the CCG and becoming a quinx like her brother. She gets a different rc type, and is surprisingly fast at learning how to use it. He dislikes her because she remembers very little of their father but is also (he thinks) the reason their mother died during childbirth (bc we don’t know much about her). Feel free to do more with her! (I like the idea Kuki having a baby sister who looks like him)

Urie Sumire is exactly the type of girl Saiko likes. Full-figured, athletic, short, and smart. Someone to help Saiko bear the female burden among a bunch of testosterone-driven fools.

“I’m an ukaku, just like you!” Sumire beams at Shirazu, who wipes his nose to ensure he’s not bleeding.

“N-n-nice to meet you.”

“Mutsuki, you’re so handsome.” Sumire hugs Mucchan, and Urie Kuki’s eyes flash.

You might have taken Mom, but you’re not taking Mucchan from me, he vows.

He really doesn’t know much about Sumire. He’s ignored her for much of their lives. But now he won’t be able to ignore her anymore, and he’s unsure how he feels about this.

“We should practice using our ukakus,” Shirazu squeaks.

“Yes!” Sumire nods. They scamper off, and Saiko winks at Urie.

She’s going to get a promotion before me, isn’t she? Urie scowls. “Mutsuki, help me practice with my koukaku.”

“But I don’t have a koukaku…”

“No matter! I have to get promoted first,” Urie begs.

Saiko and Mutsuki exchange glances.

“What?” Urie demands.

They burst out laughing.

The quinx squad tries to force Shirazu and Urie to get along without arguing/fighting

“This is a fucking joke, right?” Urie is too horrified to move.

“Nope,” says Sasaki. Mado and Arima stand behind him, arms crossed like they mean business.

“No!” wails Shirazu.

“Keep in mind, you had chances to avoid this.” Akira steps closer, and Saiko presses her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.

Urie shoots her a murderous glare. She squeaks and hides behind Mutsuki. “There’s no way. No fucking way.”

Takeomi will see me.

“Well, there’s no way you’ll ever do anything from desk work from now on,” says Sasaki sweetly. “Unless.”

He waves the monstrosity in his hands about. A giant shirt reading This is Our Get Along Shirt.

“I thought that existed only in memes,” Shirazu wails.

“Not anymore.” Sasaki waves the two doomed Quinx forward.

It’s tight and awkward. Urie can’t believe he’s going to spend the rest of today chained by cotton to this mouth-breather.

Saiko doubles over laughing, no longer afraid of either of them. “And here you all thought I was the problem!”

“That reminds me,” says Sasaki. He snaps his fingers.

Akira holds out a This is Our Hard Work Shirt, and Arima waves a This is Our Face Our Fear Shirt.

“You’ll each be paired with Akira and Arima, respectively. It was only fair,” says Sasaki.

Urie confessing to mutsuki during the fight ((give us need more feels for chapter 154 oh lord))

BUT THERE IS ALREADY SO MANY FEELS.

(MOST OF THEM INVOLVE SCREAMING).

Mutsuki spreads his lips in a wide grin. “I couldn’t care less if you died, Urie-kun.”

Urie stiffens. Saiko sees the blood drain from his cheeks as Mutsuki’s bikaku grows and grows.

“Oh yeah?” she calls out. “Then why’re you calling him Urie-kun? Weren’t we your family too, Mutsuki? Aren’t we still?!”

Mutsuki swings at her, and she dodges. “All you boys! You suck! You don’t have to be all cold and strong!”

Mutsuki hesitates. She called me a boy.

Saiko glares at Urie. “Say something, dummy.”

“Well – well I would care if you died, Mutsuki!” Urie blusters.

Saiko tries not to roll her eyes.

Urie can see Mutsuki’s kagune beginning to overtake his body. He framed out, too, didn’t he? “Don’t freak out, Saiko.”

“Excuse the fuck me?” Saiko stumbles back as Mutsuki slaps her back to the surface of the giant goddamn worm they’re fighting on.

Urie unleashes his own kagune. This is my only chance. He feels his tongue grow as both kakugans light. “Tooru! You’re not alone! I LOVE YOU!”

Mutsuki stumbles, his mouth falling open. Saiko beams at Urie.

Urie feels tears running down his full-ghoul face. “Tooru…” He falls to his knees. “And I’m so sorry I failed you. Over and over. And I was mean to you. But I love you, I swear it, Tooru.”

“No one can love me!” screams Mutsuki, clapping his hands over his ears as two kakugans emerge in his eyes. “I am grotesque! I – all I do is kill!”

“You saved me!” Urie yells back.

“You protected me from Shirazu and Urie,” Saiko adds.

Mutsuki’s lips tremble. “You don’t know what I’ve done.”

“It won’t change how we feel,” Urie pleads.

“There’s a way forward. With us. Especially Urie-kun,” Saiko says, stepping forward and holding forth her hand.

Mutsuki hesitates, but he doesn’t try to fight her.

“You two suck.” Saiko uses her kagune fists to drag Urie over to Mutsuki. “There. Now, it’s hug time.”

“I don’t think -” Mutsuki begins.

Urie throws his arms around Mutsuki. His cheeks are still wet.

Mutsuki jumps. “Urie, are you actually crying?”

crack head canon: before the quinx met their mentor. classmates were telling them all the rumors surrounding him. (like he is from chochela, he is insane, he is a murderer, etc.) and they are get a picture of who their mentor is gonna be in their heads and then they meet the cheerful haise ‘i cry at the sad dog commercials’ sasaki

“I hear he’s insane,” says Shirazu with a lazy grin.

“I hear he’s a ghoul, so I don’t give a damn,” Urie grunts. He leans back against the wall, crossing his arms.

“I’m sure they wouldn’t let a murderer lead us,” says Mutsuki, biting his lip. Yeah, and they wouldn’t let a murderer be a Quinx, right?

Saiko yawns. “I don’t care. If he’s a feral killer ghoul, at least he’s interesting that way.”

“I hate you,” Urie says.

“We know,” Shirazu replies.

Mutsuki covers his ears, and Urie rolls his eyes.

Someone raps firmly on the conference room door.

“Come in!” Shirazu forces a grin.

Washuu Yoshitoki enters, followed by a young man with black and white hair. The man is wiping his eyes. “I’m sorry for my disarray. Mado just showed me the saddest puppy commercial.”

Shirazu’s mouth falls open.

Saiko feels disappointed.

“Anyhow, I’m Sasaki Haise. Your new mentor!” Sasaki holds out his hand to Mutsuki with a smile. “You’re Mutsuki Tooru, right?”

Mutsuki nods, dumbfounded. Sasaki is normal! Sasaki likes him!

“And you’re Shirazu Ginshi?”

“Y-yes. Such a pleasure to meet you,” Shirazu stammers.

“I’m Yonebayashi Saiko. Otherwise known as “the girl,” I’m sure.” Saiko smirks and flutters her fingers towards Sasaki. He blushes. What a cinnamon roll.

“And you must be Urie Kuki.”

Urie says nothing, but his eyes remain narrowed at Sasaki. Whatever you’re hiding, you disgustingly cheerful bucket, I’m gonna find it.

What the TG characters want for Christmas

I’ve sorted the characters according to their introductory affiliation.

Anteiku/Re Affiliates

Kaneki Ken – to be safe

Nagachika Hideyoshi – to see Kaneki again

Yoshimura Kuzen – Eto’s forgiveness

Kamishiro Rize – freedom and food

Kirishima Touka – Kaneki to be free of the worm

Koma Enji – to be alive

Irimi Kaya – a puppy

Yomo Renji – His niece and nephew safe

Kosaka Yoriko – To see Touka again

Hinami Feuguchi – for everyone she loves to be happy

Nishiki Nishio – to kiss Kimi

Nishino Kimi – a world where ghouls and humans live in harmony

Tsukiyama Family

Tsukiyama Shuu – A taste of Kaneki

Karren von Rosewald – Tsukiyama’s love

Matsumae – the family’s safety

Mirumo – his son’s happiness

Chie Hori – another camera

Clowns

Uta – eyeball snacks. Maybe a kiss from Yomo.

Itori – blood wine!

Hoito Roma – to belong

Nimura Furuta – his father’s approval

Rio/Shikorae – his brother

Nico – makeup

Donato Porpora – a reunion with Amon

Aogiri Tree

Kirishima Ayato – Hinami’s coffee. Maybe Hinami.

Yamori – kagune pliers

Tatara – Houji’s head, but really his siblings back

Yoshimura Eto – the world’s obedience

Noro – life

Miza Kusakari – nothing bad to happen anymore

Naki – to see Yamori again

Hakatori – a new quinque

Banjou Kazuichi – a hug

CCG

Amon Koutarou – to be a good person

Takizawa Seidou – to be human again

Mado Akira – internal peace

Houji Kousuke – a break from murder investigators

Mado Kureo – to kill the one-eyed owl and make their kagune into his quinque

Marude Itsuki – assurance that Yoshitoki was actually his friend

Washuu Yoshitoki – a vacation

Washuu Matsuri – Urie

Washuu Tsuneyoshi – nothing good.

Kuriowa Takeomi – Yoriko’s cooking

Kuriowa Iwao – his son’s happiness

Aura Kiyoko – Aura to calm down

Tanakamaru Mougan – hairspray

Shinohara Yukinori – to see his family again

Itou Kuramoto – a practical joke book

Kurona Yasuhisa – Shiro

Hajime Hazuki – to be a renowned badass

Mayazumi – eyebrow liner

Arima Squad

Ihei Hairu – Arima’s smile

Arima Kishou – atonement

Ui Koori – Hairu resurrected

Take Hirako – Shio and Rikai’s resurrection

Arima Yusa – a peaceful world

Ihei Shio – a pet reindeer

Souza Rikai – flowers

Suzuya Squad

Suzuya Juuzou – Mr. Shinohara to awaken

Keijin Nakarai – recognition

Hanbee Abara – to marry Suzuya

Miyuki Mikage – an alien encounter

Mizurou Tamaki – a girlfriend

Quinx Squad

Yonebayashi Saiko – no one dying anymore

Shirazu Ginshi – Haru’s healing

Urie Kuki – Mutsuki’s safety

Mutsuki Tooru – to be safe and happy

Hsaio Ching-Li – Saiko’s affection

Aura Shinsanpei – Kaneki’s head, or his aunt’s approval

Higemaru Touma – to save the world