matsuri goes to the corniculum to insult mirumo & sexual tension ensues (hair pulling preferred but optional)

“So, Tsukiyama.” Matsuri brushes back his hair. “I take it your conditions are to your liking?”

Mirumo is NOT in the mood. He glances out through the bars. “I wouldn’t even treat my animals the way you treat ghouls.”

“I wouldn’t treat animals the way you treat humans,” Matsuri shoots back.

“There’s a point,” Mirumo concedes. “Or is it?”

“Huh?” Matsuri backs away as Mirumo sniffs the air. A Tsukiyama, with their impeccable breeding, might just guess his secret.

“Well, that makes more sense.” Mirumo crosses his arms, a satisfied smirk on his face. “You were saying?”

“What makes sense?” Matsuri asks innocently.

“The Washuus’ real motives. Self-hatred?Living a lie?” Mirumo glances at the ring on Matsuri’s left hand. “Forced marriage, I presume?”

“You stupid ghoul,” Matsuri growls, reaching through the bars to pull Matsuri’s hair.

“You know, you could live free,” Mirumo suggests. “My son is bisexual, and I support him regardless. Can you say the same for your father?”

“Shut up,” hisses Matsuri. Is he that obviously gay? “You’re my prisoner, you -”

Mirumo cuts him off by opening the door. “In your rush to mock me, you forgot to lock it.” He shoves Matsuri against the wall. “You and I both know you don’t want to be here or do this. I offer you another way forward, sir.”

His face is very, very close to Matsuri’s.

Matsuri squirms,

Mirumo leans forward and kisses Matsuri. His hand slides into Matsuri’s pocket.

“Huh?!” Matsuri is too shocked to move.

“Thank you,” Mirumo says, shoving Matsuri into the cell and holding up the key he took from Matusri’s pocket. “Have a nice time lying to yourself.”

“Get back here!” wails Matsuri, but Mirumo heads outside to where Chie Hori and the :Re managers await. “Time to rescue my son.”

And that is the story of how Mirumo actually escaped from the investigators.

Crack head cannon: After kaneki is extracted from dragon, q squad encounters the women they saw aura and mutsuki try to kill earlier now at the hospital and witness her punch a doctor ( that nobody liked cause he was more interested in dissecting kaneki then saving him). Saiko suggests they should go talk to her cause she might know her maman, which they do and it’s leads to a whole bunch of revelations.

“There they are.” Saiko and the rest of the Quinx have finally arrived at the hospital. Tokyo’s controlled enough that they can visit Maman for an hour.

She waves at Hide, Tsukiyama Shuu, and the manager of :Re. They all wave back, though their attention remains on the white-haired doctor talking to them.

“Perhaps he might better serve the world in a lab,” says the creaky old doctor, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“Oh, hell no!” The pretty ukaku the Quinx saw from earlier leaps to her feet and punches him square in the jaw. “Not on my watch, you’re not.”

“Amen.” Hide claps.

“Miss -”

“We saw nothing,” Tsukiyama says innocently.

The doctor scowls before scurrying away.

“I’ll call Dad and find a proper doctor.” Tsukiyama leaps to his feet and hurries off in search of better phone service.

“Do you know Saiko’s Maman?” Hsaio asks.

Mutsuki turns red. He and Aura exchange glances.

“I’m his wife,” says the ghoul with a shrug.

“Wait – what?” Urie sputters.

“Seriously?” Higemaru grins.

“AIEEEEEEEE!” Saiko launches herself into the ghoul’s arms. “Hi! Hello! I’m Saiko! I’m your daughter, kind of, I guess!”

The ghoul laughs nervously. “I’m Touka.”

“We should talk,” Mutsuki says nervously.

Touka nods. “That sounds good to me. It’s nice to meet Ken’s family.”

crack head cannon (which isn’t really crack this time): Arima is Kaneki’s uncle or godfather (his older brother/friend is a sunlit garden defect like rise but only Arima knew what happened to him i.e. settling down and having a kid). Because of his relation, he was given an opportunity to adopt kaneki when his mom died. However, he declined because he didn’t want the washuu to find out whose son he is. Its a decision he always regretted.

“What is this?” Kaneki looks at the dusty shoebox in Hirako’s hands. It’s 3 am, and Hirako has suddenly shown up in his room to greet him with “there’s no emergency, so don’t get up.”

“Something he always wanted to show you.” Hirako still can’t bring himself to say his name. “It concerns your father.”

Kaneki stills. “Who?”

Hirako hands it to him without another word.

Kaneki’s palms ooze sweat as he slides off the lid.

The first object is a photo. A young Arima, smiling and easy to recognize, with someone who looks just like Kaneki, except for his blue hair.

Blue, the same color as Arima’s.

Their arms wrap around each other. They smile with an ease Kaneki’s never witnessed in Arima. And now he never will.

“His name was really Arima, too. He was another garden kid,” Hirako said.

“That can’t be.” Kaneki stills. “Furuta said I was no one.”

“You were to Furuta. Not to Rize. She smelled the Washuu on you. And, Kaneki, did you really never wonder how you managed to survive a procedure so may failed?” Hirako holds up a paper.

A birth certificate. Arima Haise. “This was your father’s true name.”

Kaneki blinks back tears. “No.”

And yet he digs into the box. Some are photos. Some notes, back and forth between the father he never knew and this father figure who was apparently so much more. All meticulously dated.

And, finally, Kaneki finds the date he’s looking for.

Mom had died. It was from the state.

Asking Arima to adopt him.

In Arima’s chicken scratch handwriting, there’s three words printed. I’m sorry, Ken.

Kaneki looks at Hirako. Tears run down his cheeks. “Why?”

“To protect you.” Hirako shrugged. “That backfired.”

“I don’t believe that,” Kaneki bursts out. Ire flashes in his belly. Arima could have – could have prevented all of this!

Hirako swallows. “If I had to guess, he was too ashamed of what he was – too ashamed that he had never seized the freedom your father had – too afraid of failing to agree.”

Kaneki chokes back a sob. “He could have saved me. He could have – we could have spent so much longer together. I could have learned so much more.”

“Truth hurts,” Hirako agrees, placing a hand on Kaneki’s shoulder. He lets the kid sob.

Somewhere, he imagines Arima is sobbing, too.

Matsuri strips and declares his love for Sasaki/Kaneki in his office instead of for Urie. He stalks after Sasaki to profess his undying feelings and inadvertently encounters Tsukiyama. Both are quick to pick up on the others passionate and theatrical personality and see a rival in the other for Sasaki/Kaneki’s love. Meanwhile Kaneki/Sasaki is actually secretly seeing Mutsuki

Okay but am I the only one desperate to see Tsukiyama and Matsuri interact? The DRAMA!

“I will do everything for you…KANEKI KEN!” Matsuri rips off his shirt and stalks across his office.

He must find Kaneki. Kiss him. Tell him his feelings. Kiss him again.

Kaneki will help bring down the Washuu’s toxic masculinity. Kaneki will accept him as a good man.

Matsuri rushes towards Goat’s last known location, a cafe called :Re.

“Wait, wait, wait. Just who are you, ma chere?” An elegant man pushes Matsuri back as soon s he rings the door, sweating, out of breath, and lacking most of his clothing.

“Fiend! Do you not work for Kaneki Ken? I must see him!” cries Matsuri.

The tall man’s eyes gleam. “Is that so? Tres bien! May the best man win!”

He sweeps down in a bow before Matsuri. “Tsukiyama Shuu, at your service, rival.”

“Washuu Matsuri,” Matsuri stammers, suddenly afraid. Tsukiyama. The one they tried to kill.

Tsukiyama glares at him as recognition finally dawns on his face.

After a moment of staring, they both dash for the back of :Re.

“What the fuck?!” yells :Re’s manager. She’s probably a pretty girl. Matsuri wouldn’t know.

“Kaneki my pet,” wails Tsukiyama, throwing open a door to an office.

“Kaneki, my fire, my love, my life!” shrieks Matsuri.

Kaneki sits bolt upright in his chair. The chair he’s straddling with Mutsuki Tooru.

All four men scream.

how about michiko’s reaction when she discovers mizurou’s figure collection?

Based on characters from @koyuki-tan‘s “Peace Sign.” #readity’all

“Hey, what are these?” Michiko stands on her tiptoes to reach the top shelf in Mizurou’s closet.

“Uh.”

“Ooh. Is it an action figure?” Michiko holds up a small figurine.

“He’s from a Nintendo game,” Mizurou says quickly, crossing the room to her side.

“Do you have more?” Michiko fishes her hands around. “Oh – OH!”

Several dozen figures rain down upon her. “Just how many do you have?!”

“Uh…” Mizurou gulps.

“Wait, is that Obi-Wan?” Michiko bends over. “And you have Grumpy from Disney! Oh my goodness, you have everything.”

“I, uh, really like collecting figurines,” Mizurou confesses.

“You don’t say?” Michiko giggles. “This is adorable.”

“You don’t think I’m weird?” Mizurou asks in relief.

“Not at all. But our little friend might.” Michiko pokes her stomach, and Mizurou has to laugh as his arms encircle his fiancee.

Uta realizing his S/O is a lot weaker than he realized?

“Ah-ha-ha, I really fucked up this time, Uta.” His S/O staggers into HySy, pale and dripping blood onto the floorboards.

“[Name]!” Uta hurries over to where they’ve slumped onto the floor, holding their side.

“I couldn’t even fend them off…and they’re just humans,” they mutter.

“What happened?” All trace of amusement dissipates from his voice. Uta hauls them up and into his office. He yanks off their coat and pulls up their shirt to see a knife wound in their side. It’s less deep than it appears, to his relief. “Well, you’re not dying.”

They’re silent as he tends to their wound. Their head hangs.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Uta asks, tipping their chin up so that their eyes meet.

“I was mugged.” They shrug. “And I tried to fight back, but I’m so weak … stupid robbers just made off with everything.” They try to laugh, but it comes out like a cry.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I worried you. I’m sorry I suck at defending myself. I’m sorry.”

“You did nothing wrong, you know, [Name]-chan.” Uta leans forward to rest his forehead against theirs. “Would that we were all as peaceful as you.”

They snort. “Weak, not peaceful.”

“Still,” he murmurs. “We can work on improving your strength. I’ll get Renji to help. And I’ll protect you more.”

“I don’t want you to trouble -”

“I want to.” He cuts them off. “Because I love you, and you should know that.”

They smile now, just barely. “I do.”

“Good.” Uta winks. “Now, in the meantime, you won’t have the strength to fight back if I tickle you, right?”

Can you please write hidekanetou where Touka and Kaneki spoil Hide and Hide is unaware of it?

Yes indeedy.

Hide arrives home to see a delicious latte on his kitchen counter. Odd, he thinks, but damn does it smell good.

For you, Hide, reads a note besides it. Typed, so he doesn’t recognized the handwriting, but at least it’s meant for him.

A sip reveals that it’s the most delicious coffee he’s had in years.

Huh. Well, Hide is all for Random Acts of Kindness. Heaven knows he’s done it to Kaneki enough times.

Hide trudges to his refrigerator, where all he’ll find is bread and not much else.

To his surprise, a giant cheeseburger sits on his top shelf.

Hide’s gashed lips fall open. A cheeseburger? Someone got him a cheeseburger? God, he hasn’t had one of these in forever.

Pulling out the cheeseburger, Hide sees a cupcake behind it. The sweet is decorated with yellow frosting as bright as the sun.

A smile blooms on his face. My friends are the best.

He’ll investigate later. Right now, he’s going to enjoy his treats.

Outside his window, Touka high-fives Kaneki. “You know your friend pretty well.”

“We both used to love cheeseburgers,” Kaneki admits.

Touka sighs. “I am pretending I’m eating that cake. And that it’s good.” She freezes. “What if he does’t have the chance to eat it because he’s too full from the cheeseburger?!”

“Well, at least the coffee was from both of us.” Kaneki draws her closer to him. For now, that Hide is happy is enough for he and Touka.

Kaneki responds to Mutsuki’s letter/bait and meets him at the Chateau in hopes of rescuing Yoriko. He’s overcome with emotion as all the memories he had there in the past well up inside him making him falter in his initial mission and Mutsuki is overjoyed at seeing his beloved former mentor again, thinking he can be further sustained with the knowledge that his Sensei still feels something for him and the other Q’s since the thought of them made him cry

*weeps*

“Sensei!” Mutsuki rushes up to Kaneki and throws his arms around the One-Eyed King, his enemy, the liar who loves him. “You came!”

“Of course I did, Mutsuki.” Kaneki swallows and brushes Mutsuki’s pale hair out of his eyes. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Mutsuki’s eyes gleam.

“You’re not. Let me help you, Mucchan.” Kaneki wraps his arms around Mutsuki. “I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to abandon you.”

“Then why did you?” Anger wells up in Mutsuki, but he can’t bear to pull out his knife and stab Sensei. He’s just…angry. And sad. He wants a tighter hug.

“Because I had to. If I – If I told you what happened with Arima, no one would believe me. But it’s the truth, I swear.” There’s something about Mutsuki that convinces Kaneki that he can tell Mutsuki the truth. That he didn’t kill Arima. He couldn’t.

“Tell me,” says Mutsuki softly, but he’s already guessed. Sasaki isn’t a killer. Unlike him.

And yet, someone good and pure, a good and pure liar like Sensei, thinks he’s worthwhile. He, a wicked and selfish liar. Mutsuki blinks back tears.

Sensei believes in him.

Somehow, this makes him want to listen. To avoid the knife. To talk more. To sustain him.

Because all he’s really wanted is acceptance, and he has that now.

crack head cannon: ken kaneki’s full name is kenneth kaneki and touka calls him kenneth when she is mad, annoyed, or as a last resort when she repeatedly tries to get his attention. Quinx squad witness it for the first time and they think its the funniest shit cause he’s never heard of sasaki’s real full name before that.

“I’m hungry,” Touka mumbles, rubbing her swollen belly. She reclines on the sofa in the Chateau, feeling like a beautiful whale. She’s eight months pregnant and not very happy right now. But Saiko and Hsaio just did her toenails, and she’s never had nail polish before.

Mutsuki leaps to his feet, but Touka shakes her head. “Let Ken handle it.”

Kaneki is conferring with Higemaru and Urie across the room.

“Ken?” Touka calls.

He doesn’t appear to hear over Higemaru’s excited chatter.

“He’s literally showing Kaneki his monster drawings,” Aura says.

“Ken.” Touka narrows her eyes and clears her throat. “KENNETH!”

Kaneki jumps. “Touka? Is it time? What’s wrong?”

“I want Rc chips.” Touka pouts.

“Coming right up!” He putters into the kitchen, and Saiko finally releases her peals of laughter.

“Kenneth?” Aura cries in disbelief. “You’ve got to be shitting me.”

“Like the Barbie doll?” Urie grins wickedly.

“Yup.” Touka holds a finger to her lips. “Don’t tell him I told you.”

So of course, the moment Kaneki hurries back into the den, all the Quinx chime in, “Hiiiiiii Kenneth.”

….Yoshimura as Obi-Wan and Kaneki as Luke? I neeeeeeeeeeeeeed more star wars crossovers

“I must be one or the other!” Kaneki Luke cries.

“No. Only a Sith deals in absolutes. You may be both human, and ghoul,” says Obi-Wan Yoshimura.

—————————————–

“Strike me down, and I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine,” Obi-Wan Yoshimura says to the reaper of death, Darth Arima. All around him, CCG forces gather. He can’t walk away from this. He will die in front of Anteiku…and Kaneki.

Arima’s IXA pierces Yoshimura’s kagune.

“NOOOOOOOOOO!” screams Kaneki, lunging forward into the hands of CCG.

——————————————-

“Did Yoshimura tell you about the One-Eyed King?” demands Darth Arima.

Kaneki clutches the cell door. His eyes are put out. He can’t see, and all they call him is 240. Why does this death god seek him out? “He told me you killed him!”

“No, I am the One-Eyed King.” Arima holds out his hand. “Join me, and we can better the world of humans and ghouls!”

Kaneki shakes his head. He can’t believe himself good enough. And so he falls, falls, falls…into his cell at Cochlea.

—————————————-

“So, you have a friend waiting for you at a cafe. Perhaps I shall target her next.” Darth Arima mocks.

“NO!” Kaneki unfurls his kagune. He and Arima fight madly as Bureau Emperor Tsuneyoshi cackles in the distance.

Finally Kaneki pierces Arima’s armor. Arima falls. His eyes stare up at Kaneki – or one does. His other is blank, as if he cannot see, as if he really is One-Eyed.

Kaneki hesitates. He won’t be like Arima.

“Good, good, let the hate flow through you. Kill him, my new apprentice!” Tsuneyoshi approaches.

Kaneki straightens. Compassion floods his veins. “No. I will oppose you with everything I have.”

“Well then.” Tsuneyoshi begins to transform into an enormous kakuja. He throws Kaneki to the ground.

Against his will, Kaneki screams. Tsuneyoshi is tearing him apart inside – “Arima! One-Eyed King! Help me!”

Arima lunges to his feet, throws himself before Tsuneyoshi. His father’s kakuja digs into his chest.

Suddenly, Tsuneyoshi collapses as a sword pierces his heart.

“I’m sorry,” says Furuta, cheerfully sticking another sword in his father, “did I miss something?”

——————————————

Kaneki drags Arima out of CCG. “I won’t let you die. I will save you!”

“You…already have, my One-Eyed King.” Arima smiles at Kaneki as the light fades from his eyes.