Every ship you can think of’s child’s name if they’re male or female or have a gender neutral name (but Kyou and Tsukiyama should totally adopt Niji)

Touken – Yotsume, girl

Hidekane – Sunny, boy or girl or neutral

Shuuneki – Rin, genderqueer

Akiramon – Kosuke, girl

Seiaki- Kosuke, girl,

Takirona- Nashiro, girl

Nishikimi – Oshin, boy

Irimi/Koma – Fumiko, girl

Yoshimura/Ukina – Eto (oh wait)

Ayahina – Ryouko, girl

UtaRen – Asa, girl

Utatori – Renji, boy

Tsukikana – Rose, girl

Tsukichie – Kanae, neutral

Tsukikyou – Niji. That is all.

Arieto – Kaneki Ken, boy.

Uihai – Masanori, boy

Nakimiza – Chihiro, girl

Yoriko/Takeomi – Iwao, boy

Suzuhan – Yukinori, boy

Matsurie – Danuja, girl

Urisai – Hotaru, girl

Mutsurie – Ginshi, boy

Mutsuki/Kaneki – Kishou, boy

Shiraiko -Gintoki, boy

Saiko/Hsaio – Diana of Themyscira, girl

Maruchika – Kazumi, neutral

Fururize – Hisa, girl

All of Kaneki’s implied and canon admirers talk about how much they love Kaneki, what they want to do with Kaneki if they got into a relationship with him and what they love about him, what made them fall in love with him: so this includes Roma, Mutsuki, Hajime, Hinami, Touka, Rize, Tsukiyama, Hide, Saiko, Eto, etc (side comment: Boy Neki has himself a hell of a lot of admirers!)

Like how does Ken get and maintain these admirers I’m jealous.

“I’ll go first.” Touka sighs. She can’t believe Urie and Marude’s solution was a group therapy session for all of Kaneki’s admirers.

“Now that he’s recovering in the hospital, you can all work out your problems,” Marude said. What a dumbass.

“I first fell in love when he told me he’d care if I died, even though I was a murderer,” Touka says, a sad smile on her face. “I just want to raise our kid together and give them…the childhood we never had.”

“I fell in love with his scent,” says Tsukiyama. “And convinced myself I wanted to eat him instead of love him. Now I just want him to stay alive.”

“Tsukiyama is a bad example for ghouls,” Hinami says quickly. “I love how Onii-chan taught me to read. That’s why I want happiness for him.”

“He was tasty,” Rize says dreamily, still somewhat dead inside after being held captive for years. “I’d still like to eat him.”

“I like Maman because he always loved us when we were brats,” Saiko says, crossing her arms. “Now I just want to hug him and tell him he’s okay every day.”

“I find him fascinating.” Eto grins. “So much potential. I’d torment him day and night.”

“Potential tragedy. People who try to be good because they hate themselves are my weakness.” Roma giggles. “I love sitting back and watching.”

“This is why you don’t have friends, old maid,” Eto shoots back.

“I like him because he’s what I want to be, only I’ll be better because I won’t betray CCG,” Hajime declares.

Hide shakes his head. “Kid.“

“What?!” Hajime huffs.

“Never mind.” Hide sighs. “You know, I’m not sure. I think I always have, but I haven’t recognized it until it was nearly too late. Now I just want him to be happy.”

“What about you?” Hide turns to Mutsuki, who swallows hard.

“Uh…ummm…I like that he showed me kindness when I was a gross murderer,” Mutsuki whispers.

Saiko coughs. “That’s, uh, close to Touka’s.”

“I know.” Mutsuki stares at the floor.

Touka slides closer to Mutsuki. “Ken’s a great guy.”

Mutsuki smiles, tentatively, at her.

Maybe, Touka thinks, Marude wasn’t such a doofus after all.

The ships as weird couple stock photos?

Touken –

Hidekane –

Shuuneki –

Akiramon –

Seiaki-

Takirona

Nishikimi –

Irimi/Koma –

Irimi/Take

Yoshimura/Ukina –

Ayahina –

UtaRen –

Utatori –

Tsukikana –

Tsukichie –

Arieto

Uihai-

Nakimiza –

Yoriko/Takeomi –

Suzuhan –

Matsurie –

Urisai-

Mutsurie –

Mutsuki/Kaneki

Shiraiko –

Saiko/Hsaio –

Maruchika –

Fururize –

Higemaru/Hakatori (Higetori)

Okay, who did I miss?

updated to include take/irimi and higetori.

What songs do each of the tg re pairings (canon or not) remind you of? In my opinion HideKane currently makes me think of Wolves by Selena Gomez and Mutsuki x Kaneki/Sasaki from Mutsuki’s end

Hidekane – Wolves by Selena Gomez

Touken – Warm Blood, Flor

Shuuneki – All My Heroes, Bleachers

Akiramon – Aquaman, Walk the Moon

Seiaki – Rotten, The Naked and Famous

Mutsurie – Unconditionally, Katy Perry

Mutsuki/Sasaki – We Sink, Chvrches

Urisai – Hold Back the River, James Bay

Saiko/Hsaio – Boom Clap, Charlie XCX

Shiraiko – Gone Gone Gone, Phillip Phillips

Tsukikana – XO, Beyonce

Tsukichie – Young Blood, The Naked and Famous

Utaren – Wallflowers, The Chain Gang of 1984

Utatori – Look What You Made Me Do, Taylor Swift

Suzuhan – Let’s Hurt Tonight, OneRepublic

Maruchika – Walking the Wire, Imagine Dragons

Nishikimi – Gravity, Jai Wolf

Takirona – Something Just Like This, The Chainsmokers

Fururize – Bad Blood, Taylor Swift

Uihai – Shut Up and Dance, Walk the Moon

Arieto – F**K with You, Cardiknox

Ayahina – Beating Heart, Ellie Goulding

Yoshimura/Ukina – The Energy Never Dies, The Script

Nakimiza – The Cure, Lady Gage

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) can I have each pairing that you can think of’s favourite sex position?

Okay, who did I miss. 😛

Touken – spooning

Hidekane – missionary

Shuuneki – wall sex

Nishikimi – cowgirl

Irimi/Koma – Doggy style. I had to.

Ayahina – Butterfly. I’m sorry.

Utaren – wall sex

Akiramon – missionary

Seiaki – up and over

Takirona – cowgirl

Suzuhan – cowboy

Tsukikana – using their kagunes so they’re both upside down

Tsukichie – sit and straddle

Mutsurie – missionary

Urisai – spoons

Shiraiko – doggy style

Saiko//Hsaio – 69

Uihai – missionary

Arieto – whatever wacky idea Eto has next.

Maruchika – wall sex

Furutui – standing

Furuta/Rize – varies but he’s on bottom.

Takeomi/Yoriko – missionary

All the people with canon feelings and implied feelings fight over Kaneki/Sasaki’s affection in true harem fashion

Hahahahaha I love it.

“Sensei is mine,” cries Mutsuki, snatching a knife.

“He’s my Onii-chan. You can’t have him.” Hinami releases her butterfly kagune.

“I am hands-down the cutest,” Hajime calls, sprawling across a sofa.

“You’re like 12, bebe.” Tsukiyama holds up a rose.”I am the older, star-crossed lover. I have mystique.”

“I have bite marks from my husband.” Touka pulls down her shirt to reveal her shoulder. “Sorry, I don’t make the rules.”

Hinami smiles at her. “You see?”

“Valid point, valid point.” Tsukiyama sighs. “But can we all agree that if you weren’t here, I would be number one?”

“No!” Mutsuki tackles him.

“This is fun.” Hajime watches Tsukiyama pull Mutsuki’s hair, and Mutsuki claw Tsukiyama’s face.

“Now my face is the prettiest!” Hajime races towards Touka. “I can mess up yours now!”

Hinami wraps him in her petals. “Down, baby.”

“If my kid turns out half as annoying as you…” Touka threatens.

“Kaneki loves Touka!” cries HInami. “I’m his little sister. Shuu’s his friend. Mutsuki’s his kid. You’re…a…”

“Twerp,” Touka finishes.

“Shut up!” Hajime clamors free. “I am adorable!”

The door opens.

“Huh?” Kaneki blinks.

“Sensei!” shrieks Mutsuki, launching himself at Kaneki.

“Ken!” Touka uses her ukaku to reach him first.

Hinami uses her petals to pull him closer to her. Tsukiyama grabs Kaneki by the ankles and is dragged along. Hajime leaps atop Kaneki’s shoulders.

“WHAT IS HAPPENING?”

“Eh?” Ayato peers into see the One-Eyed King buried under a mountain of frantic admirers.

Tsukiyama and Kaneki taking care of a baby girl they adopted? <3

❤ ❤ ❤ Cute!

“Dada.” A two-year-old girl totters into her parents’ bedroom, fat tears rolling down her chubby cheeks.

“Karren!” Tsukiyama leaps out of bed. He scoops her into his arms. “Bad dream?”

Karren nods and lets out a sob.

Kaneki draws Tsukiyama and his little girl close to his chest. Hs heart warms as she reaches for him. “Shh. You’re safe here. Your daddies love you.”

“Dada.” Karren pats Kaneki’s face. “Strong.”

“Very.” Tsukiyama winks at Kaneki. “Want to sleep in the big bed with your daddies?”

Karren squeals with excitement, all her bad dreams banished in the light of her doting fathers.

“Kaneki, here.” Tsukiyama hands Karren to his husband. “I’ll go get your rainbow pillow.” It’s her favorite. Their princess can’t sleep without it.

When Tsukiyama returns to their bedroom, he stops to marvel at Kaneki tucking in their daughter, the orphaned ghoul they’d decided to adopt together. These two are the best part of his life.

He gives Karren her rainbow pillow and nestles next to her. Kaneki settles on her other side, and Tsukiyama knows she and he are the best part of Kaneki’s life, too.

angsty Shuuneki during this current arc, please?

Ooh angst is fun. I love angst.

“So what you’re saying,” Kaneki says, “is that I’m aging. At a fearsome pace.”

Tsukiyama clamps a hand over his mouth to keep from screaming. Nishiki affirms, and all he can think is that no, his Ken is going to die.

When Kaneki exits the room, he bumps into Tsukiyama, who has tears in his eyes.

Kaneki swallows. Shuu knows, doesn’t he?

“You’re like a fine wine. Better aged,” Tsukiyama blurts out.

Kaneki’s cheeks turn pink. “Thank you, Tsukiyama.”

Tsukiyama bounds along beside him. “What can I do? Do you want to eat me? And all my Rc cells? Just tell me and I’ll do it.”

“Tsukiyama, calm down. Nishiki’s a scientist. Maybe everything will work out.” Kaneki sighs.

He doesn’t believe that. He hasn’t believed that since all those years ago, when he couldn’t eat a hamburger.

“Don’t give up. Not yet.” Tsukiyama shoves Kaneki backwards. “I’m counting on you. You don’t get to take the easy way out and die a martyr this time. Promise me.”

Kaneki glares at him.

“Please!”

“Fine. I promise I will try to survive.” Kaneki nods.

“Seal it with a kiss?”

Kaneki’s eyes widen. He’s with Touka now. He can’t.

“You know.” Touka’s voice booms behind them, “If it’s what will seal your survival, I don’t mind you giving him a kiss.”

Afraid Touka’s heard too much, Kaneki kisses Shuu as quickly as he can.

It hurts, but now Tsukiyama’s grateful for any and all contact with his friend. Kaneki can’t die. Not yet.

something a little nsfw for Tsukiyama and Kaneki, please? <3

Takes place shortly before the Anteiku raid.

Tsukiyama slumps his shoulders, hoping Kaneki will notice. “You are thinking about abandoning me again?”

Kaneki eyes him. “You just want to devour me. Even now.”

He feels hurt, but isn’t entirely sure why. Kaneki shouldn’t trust him. He does want to eat this delectably scented half-ghoul. Besides, at the rate Kaneki’s going, he’s gonna be eaten by someone, so it might as well be at the hands of someone who will appreciate him. Someone like Tsukiyama Shuu.

“Why?” Kaneki asks.

“Pardon?”

“Why do you want to eat me?”

“I don’t anymore.” Tsukiyama presses his hand over his heart and almost wishes it were true. “I did because…well, you’re unique.”

Kaneki rolls his eyes. “Yes, everyone tells me that.”

Tsukiyama collapses onto Kaneki’s lap. “Well, it’s true, mon chere.”

“I wish it wasn’t.” Kaneki absently runs his fingers through Tsukiyama’s hair.

Tsukiyama catches his breath. “That feels nice.”

Kaneki chuckles. “You’re a child.”

“Let’s be adults.” Tsukiyama sits straight up, his face inches from Kaneki’s.

“What are you?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Kaneki’s eyes widen. He doesn’t trust the Gourmet, not at all. But he’s so lonely.

So he nods, and it isn’t long before Tsukiyama has taken off his shirt, because it’s Tsukiyama.

To Kaneki’s surprise, he has a array of spectacular abs. Heat washes over him.

“I bet you have a six-pack too,” Tsukiyama teases. “Shall we find out?”

His fingers tug at Kaneki’s shirt, and, though his words have dried up, Kaneki nods.

“Oooh, you do. Human ribs are amazing, you know.” Tsukiyama winks, and Kaneki has to laugh.

“Kiss me again?”

“Happy to,” Tsukiyama answers, taking Kaneki’s lips in his.

They’re lying side-by-side, their hands exploring each other’s most intimate parts. And the atmosphere around them feels electric and Kaneki feels alive and Tsukiyama –

Tsukiyama realizes, with no small amount of horror, that all this time he hasn’t wanted to eat Kaneki. He’s wanted to love him.