Hide is on new pain meds that make him, for lack of better terms, “high as a kite”, and Kaneki discovers he can see his past selves. Cue embarrassing puns (Haineki, get it ;)), lots of praise from one high blonde and even some crying from Hide as he reveals how much Kaneki, all parts of him really, mean to him.

Omg I love this.

“Kanekiiiiiiii…Shironeki, come here. You needs a hugs,” slurs Hide.

“Hide!” Kaneki colors as Hide embraces a pillow like a lover – but his friend only sees himself snuggling a white-haired boy sorely in need of love.

“Love me; I promise I love you,” Hide insists. The real Kaneki backs away.

Meanwhile, in Hide’s mind…

“That’s why I’m doing this,” says Shironeki. “Because I love you.”

“Nah. If you really knew I loved you, you wouldn’t.” Hide waves an arm about. “Hey, Kuroneki, get over here!”

“Hmm? Um, me?” Kuroneki hurries away from the corner he’s been hiding in. 

“Your eyepatch is super-cool, bro.”

“I think it’s a ghastly sight,” says Haise.

“Don’t be so punny.” Hide hurls a tissue at Haise. “I challenge you and your pinstripes to a pun war!”

“Is the punishment for losing death?” asks Haise sweetly.

“No – it’s tickling!” Hide laughs hysterically.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, dude?” Reaperneki crosses his arms.

“What the fu…what is wrong with you? You’re a sourpuss.” 

“Most like a sourpast, am I right?” Haise giggles.

“I love all your pasts, Kaneki,” Hide says dreamily. “All of them. You’re my best friend. I ain’t giving up on any of you – not even you, 240.”

“WAGH!”

“Hi, kids.” Hide waves at the two Childnekis. “I’m sorry, you know, that I couldn’t stop your aunt or save your mom. I hoped me being your friend was enough, but I don’t think it was. And it hurt, because I loved you then and do now. Whether eyeless or punny or emo or eyepatched.”

“What about me?” demands Reaperneki.

“You, too.” Hide stretches out his arms, and Reaperneki begrudgingly accepts. 

Hide starts crying. “You guys do love me too, I know. I’ve always known. I always understood. I wish you did.”

Outside Hide’s mind…

“I wish you did,” Hide mumbles, drooling.

“I do. I promise I do now.” Kaneki wipes his own eyes as he lays Hide down on the couch he and Touka just bought. 

Hello! It is absolutely essential that we have a conference of kanekis all having a very serious and passionate debate over what is Touka’s most appealing trait in each of their eyes :)

I agree. This is IMPORTANT.

“This is IMPORTANT.” Reaperneki shoves Shironeki back. “Touka-chan’s ferocity is her best characteristic. It’s not even a contest.”

“Uh – I like her compassion,” says Kuroneki. “Like when she force-fed me.” 

“Eyepatch, remember how excited we got when she told us not to be gentle?” spits Reaperneki.

“That’s true,” admits Haise. “But her coffee-brewing skills are out of this world. And she was so patient – with me, who didn’t even remember her!”

Shironeki cracks his knuckles. “Touka-chan never gives up.” 

“I like her smile,” says the Kuroneki child.

“I like that she isn’t mean,” whispers Shironeki. Haise immediately wraps him in a hug.

“Blehhh-waahhhhh-shhhaaaaaaaa,” sobs 240. 

“Can I kill him yet?” asks Reaperneki. “He can’t even say Touka-chan’s name. That’s not forgivable. Let’s make it reaper-time.”

“No killing!” yells Kuroneki, frantically waving his arms.

240 whimpers. “Touka-chan.”

“There.” Haise nods. “You see?”

“Haise, that’s a mean pun, even for you,” Reaperneki shoots back. 

“I didn’t mean it like that!” 

“Touka-chan is our fire, and we need her,” declares Shironeki. 

“We’re still pretty fucked up,” admits Reaperneki.

“I love that she loves me.” Shironeki nods. 

All the Nekis fall quiet.

“Do we agree on that?” Reaperneki asks begrudgingly.

“Yes.”

“Yes.”

“Yes!”

“Of – of course!”

“Wah!”