writing fiction after reading haiku’s with Mutsuki and having a great time and they’re not having it so Mutsuki persuades them into participating for his Sensei

“Ooh, are you sure?” Mutsuki grins. He loves reading fairy tales. He can’t believe Sasaki wants to read them, too.

“Yes,” says Sasaki. “It’d be great bonding time.”

“Would it?” Shirazu asks nervously. “I mean, some of those stories are dark shit.”

“Those are the best ones.” Saiko’s eyes sparkle. She, at least, is on board.

“Not a chance.” Urie crosses his arms. “I’m not reading little brat stories. Jesus.”

“Well, now we know who’s getting struck by lightning at the end of this story,” Sasaki jokes. Urie flushes.

“I’d like to. I think it’d be fun. Something lighthearted for after battle or something,” says Mutsuki, drawing his knees to his chest.

“Nah,” Urie says.

“Could we study the stories, then write our own?” Shirazu asks.

“Yes!” Mutsuki nods.

“Then I’m on board.”

“Have fun.” Urie stands.

“Wait,” Sasaki says.

“Urie,” begs Mutsuki. “Pleeeeeeease.”

“Nope.”

“Please.” Saiko falls prostate at Urie’s feet. Mutsuki clings to Urie’s legs. Shirazu even gets on his knees.

“It’d mean a lot to me,” Mutsuki stammers.

Urie sighs. “Fine. Just, fine. You better pick a good story, Sasaki.”

“Hurray!” Saiko and Mutsuki high-five. Sasaki smiles at Mutsuki with gratitude.

And now Mutsuki feels like he’s floating in a fairy tale.

Urie has a little sister (who is gorgeous and is very clever) who is just joining the CCG and becoming a quinx like her brother. She gets a different rc type, and is surprisingly fast at learning how to use it. He dislikes her because she remembers very little of their father but is also (he thinks) the reason their mother died during childbirth (bc we don’t know much about her). Feel free to do more with her! (I like the idea Kuki having a baby sister who looks like him)

Urie Sumire is exactly the type of girl Saiko likes. Full-figured, athletic, short, and smart. Someone to help Saiko bear the female burden among a bunch of testosterone-driven fools.

“I’m an ukaku, just like you!” Sumire beams at Shirazu, who wipes his nose to ensure he’s not bleeding.

“N-n-nice to meet you.”

“Mutsuki, you’re so handsome.” Sumire hugs Mucchan, and Urie Kuki’s eyes flash.

You might have taken Mom, but you’re not taking Mucchan from me, he vows.

He really doesn’t know much about Sumire. He’s ignored her for much of their lives. But now he won’t be able to ignore her anymore, and he’s unsure how he feels about this.

“We should practice using our ukakus,” Shirazu squeaks.

“Yes!” Sumire nods. They scamper off, and Saiko winks at Urie.

She’s going to get a promotion before me, isn’t she? Urie scowls. “Mutsuki, help me practice with my koukaku.”

“But I don’t have a koukaku…”

“No matter! I have to get promoted first,” Urie begs.

Saiko and Mutsuki exchange glances.

“What?” Urie demands.

They burst out laughing.

The quinx squad tries to force Shirazu and Urie to get along without arguing/fighting

“This is a fucking joke, right?” Urie is too horrified to move.

“Nope,” says Sasaki. Mado and Arima stand behind him, arms crossed like they mean business.

“No!” wails Shirazu.

“Keep in mind, you had chances to avoid this.” Akira steps closer, and Saiko presses her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.

Urie shoots her a murderous glare. She squeaks and hides behind Mutsuki. “There’s no way. No fucking way.”

Takeomi will see me.

“Well, there’s no way you’ll ever do anything from desk work from now on,” says Sasaki sweetly. “Unless.”

He waves the monstrosity in his hands about. A giant shirt reading This is Our Get Along Shirt.

“I thought that existed only in memes,” Shirazu wails.

“Not anymore.” Sasaki waves the two doomed Quinx forward.

It’s tight and awkward. Urie can’t believe he’s going to spend the rest of today chained by cotton to this mouth-breather.

Saiko doubles over laughing, no longer afraid of either of them. “And here you all thought I was the problem!”

“That reminds me,” says Sasaki. He snaps his fingers.

Akira holds out a This is Our Hard Work Shirt, and Arima waves a This is Our Face Our Fear Shirt.

“You’ll each be paired with Akira and Arima, respectively. It was only fair,” says Sasaki.

crack head canon: before the quinx met their mentor. classmates were telling them all the rumors surrounding him. (like he is from chochela, he is insane, he is a murderer, etc.) and they are get a picture of who their mentor is gonna be in their heads and then they meet the cheerful haise ‘i cry at the sad dog commercials’ sasaki

“I hear he’s insane,” says Shirazu with a lazy grin.

“I hear he’s a ghoul, so I don’t give a damn,” Urie grunts. He leans back against the wall, crossing his arms.

“I’m sure they wouldn’t let a murderer lead us,” says Mutsuki, biting his lip. Yeah, and they wouldn’t let a murderer be a Quinx, right?

Saiko yawns. “I don’t care. If he’s a feral killer ghoul, at least he’s interesting that way.”

“I hate you,” Urie says.

“We know,” Shirazu replies.

Mutsuki covers his ears, and Urie rolls his eyes.

Someone raps firmly on the conference room door.

“Come in!” Shirazu forces a grin.

Washuu Yoshitoki enters, followed by a young man with black and white hair. The man is wiping his eyes. “I’m sorry for my disarray. Mado just showed me the saddest puppy commercial.”

Shirazu’s mouth falls open.

Saiko feels disappointed.

“Anyhow, I’m Sasaki Haise. Your new mentor!” Sasaki holds out his hand to Mutsuki with a smile. “You’re Mutsuki Tooru, right?”

Mutsuki nods, dumbfounded. Sasaki is normal! Sasaki likes him!

“And you’re Shirazu Ginshi?”

“Y-yes. Such a pleasure to meet you,” Shirazu stammers.

“I’m Yonebayashi Saiko. Otherwise known as “the girl,” I’m sure.” Saiko smirks and flutters her fingers towards Sasaki. He blushes. What a cinnamon roll.

“And you must be Urie Kuki.”

Urie says nothing, but his eyes remain narrowed at Sasaki. Whatever you’re hiding, you disgustingly cheerful bucket, I’m gonna find it.

What the TG characters want for Christmas

I’ve sorted the characters according to their introductory affiliation.

Anteiku/Re Affiliates

Kaneki Ken – to be safe

Nagachika Hideyoshi – to see Kaneki again

Yoshimura Kuzen – Eto’s forgiveness

Kamishiro Rize – freedom and food

Kirishima Touka – Kaneki to be free of the worm

Koma Enji – to be alive

Irimi Kaya – a puppy

Yomo Renji – His niece and nephew safe

Kosaka Yoriko – To see Touka again

Hinami Feuguchi – for everyone she loves to be happy

Nishiki Nishio – to kiss Kimi

Nishino Kimi – a world where ghouls and humans live in harmony

Tsukiyama Family

Tsukiyama Shuu – A taste of Kaneki

Karren von Rosewald – Tsukiyama’s love

Matsumae – the family’s safety

Mirumo – his son’s happiness

Chie Hori – another camera

Clowns

Uta – eyeball snacks. Maybe a kiss from Yomo.

Itori – blood wine!

Hoito Roma – to belong

Nimura Furuta – his father’s approval

Rio/Shikorae – his brother

Nico – makeup

Donato Porpora – a reunion with Amon

Aogiri Tree

Kirishima Ayato – Hinami’s coffee. Maybe Hinami.

Yamori – kagune pliers

Tatara – Houji’s head, but really his siblings back

Yoshimura Eto – the world’s obedience

Noro – life

Miza Kusakari – nothing bad to happen anymore

Naki – to see Yamori again

Hakatori – a new quinque

Banjou Kazuichi – a hug

CCG

Amon Koutarou – to be a good person

Takizawa Seidou – to be human again

Mado Akira – internal peace

Houji Kousuke – a break from murder investigators

Mado Kureo – to kill the one-eyed owl and make their kagune into his quinque

Marude Itsuki – assurance that Yoshitoki was actually his friend

Washuu Yoshitoki – a vacation

Washuu Matsuri – Urie

Washuu Tsuneyoshi – nothing good.

Kuriowa Takeomi – Yoriko’s cooking

Kuriowa Iwao – his son’s happiness

Aura Kiyoko – Aura to calm down

Tanakamaru Mougan – hairspray

Shinohara Yukinori – to see his family again

Itou Kuramoto – a practical joke book

Kurona Yasuhisa – Shiro

Hajime Hazuki – to be a renowned badass

Mayazumi – eyebrow liner

Arima Squad

Ihei Hairu – Arima’s smile

Arima Kishou – atonement

Ui Koori – Hairu resurrected

Take Hirako – Shio and Rikai’s resurrection

Arima Yusa – a peaceful world

Ihei Shio – a pet reindeer

Souza Rikai – flowers

Suzuya Squad

Suzuya Juuzou – Mr. Shinohara to awaken

Keijin Nakarai – recognition

Hanbee Abara – to marry Suzuya

Miyuki Mikage – an alien encounter

Mizurou Tamaki – a girlfriend

Quinx Squad

Yonebayashi Saiko – no one dying anymore

Shirazu Ginshi – Haru’s healing

Urie Kuki – Mutsuki’s safety

Mutsuki Tooru – to be safe and happy

Hsaio Ching-Li – Saiko’s affection

Aura Shinsanpei – Kaneki’s head, or his aunt’s approval

Higemaru Touma – to save the world

would you fuck your clone tg re edition

Re Affiliates

Kaneki Ken – No, my clone makes me sad.

Nagachika Hideyoshi – It’d be fun.

Kamishiro Rize – Yes please.

Kirishima Touka – I’d rather fuck Kaneki.

Koma Enji – Ab-sol-ute-ly!

Irimi Kaya – I’m sorry, did you say something?

Yomo Renji – No way.

Kosaka Yoriko – No?

Hinami Feuguchi – Uh…ummmmmm…

Nishiki Nishio – I’d rather fuck Kimi.

Nishino Kimi – I’d do it for science.

Tsukiyama Family

Tsukiyama Shuu – I’d do it while eating myself.

Karren von Rosewald – If I could pretend it was Master Shuu.

Matsumae – Nah.

Mirumo – 100x yes.

Chie Hori – No.

Clowns

Uta – I’ve already done it. Kagune clone.

Itori – Hell yeah. I’m hot.

Hoito Roma – *giggles* obviously

Nimura Furuta – My answer is a resounding yes.

Rio/Shikorae – ?!

Nico – It’d be so tragic, since you couldn’t be in love with yourself…

Donato Porpora – Technically, that’s not against the Bible…

Aogiri Tree

Kirishima Ayato – I’m gonna decline to answer this

Tatara – What is wrong with you people

Yoshimura Eto – Never say never

Noro – Why am I alive.

Miza Kusakari – Yep.

Naki – Huh?

Yumitsu Tomoe/Hakatori – Probably

Banjou Kazuichi – I’m scared and my answer is no.

CCG

Amon Koutarou – Amon.exe has ceased to function

Takizawa Seidou – No, because I hate myself.

Mado Akira – I’d rather fuck a kakuja ghoul.

Houji Kousuke- Shh don’t tell.

Marude Itsuki – Hell no.

Washuu Yoshitoki – Hell yes.

Washuu Matsuri – No. Give me Urie.

Washuu Tsuneyoshi – Over and over.

Kuriowa Takeomi – Uh – uh – n – no?

Kuriowa Iwao – Nope.

Aura Kiyoko – I’m not even dignifying that with a response.

Tanakamaru Mougan – I wish.

Itou Kuramoto – Tee-hee. Yes.

Kurona Yasuhisa – I used to have a clone. My identical twin. Sometimes I can still hear her voice…

Arima Squad

Ihei Hairu – Probably

Arima Kishou – Did Eto send you to ask this?

Ui Koori – It’s unethical.

Take Hirako – Who can say?

Suzuya Squad

Suzuya Juuzou – Why not?

Keijin Nakarai – I’d rather have someone else interested in me besides me.

Hanbee Abara – Nooooooo.

Miyuki Mikage – OMG YES.

Mizurou Tamaki – Possibly.

Quinx Squad

Yonebayashi Saiko – hahahaha of course.

Shirazu Ginshi – Why the fuck are you asking this?

Urie Kuki – indubitably.

Mutsuki Tooru – I’m grotesque 😦

Hsaio Ching-Li – lol no.

Aura Shinsanpei – That sounds melodramatic, so yes.

Higemaru Touma – lol. lol. lol. uh. Come back later after I’ve thought about it.

What does each kagune user think of their kagune?

Kaneki Ken – I don’t feel human. 😦

Kamishiro Rize – it’s sexy and pretty and, well, goodbye to you.

Kirishima Touka -Pretty proud of my wings. Trying to accept Kimi’s words that I’m beautiful.

Kirishima Ayato – Dang thing doesn’t last enough.

Yomo Renji – Confident in my intimidation skills.

Uta – It’s a work of art.

Itori – Ain’t it sexy?

Nishiki Nishio – This is how I get the girls.

Tsukyama Shuu – Smooth and strong, just like me.

Karren Von Rosewald – It’s pretty useful for retrieving Master Shuu.

Matsumae – I’m a boss and I know it.

Koma Enji – Look how mighty I am!

Kaya Irimi – Bet you weren’t expecting a winged puppy, were ya?

Fueguchi Hinami – Mom, Dad, I will make you proud.

Yoshimura Kuzen – Triggers guilt for Eto.

Yoshimura Eto – Dis fun. Rawr. MISCHIEF MANAGED.

Tatara – Bow down, bitches.

Noro – Keeps him alive.

Yamori – Another torture tool.

Naki – wow!

Miza Kusakari – Feels dangerous, and she likes feeling dangerous.

Hakatori/Yumitsu Tomoe – cool, but using quinques is cooler.

Rio – Knows it’s special, but still hesitant.

Hoito Roma – my kagune is cyuuuuuuuttteeeee

Donato Porpora – it’s murder time.

Nico – pretty, pretty

Furuta Nimura – finally I have one

Takizawa Seidou – I fucking hate it I fucking hate all of this shit

Amon Koutarou – Kagune? What kagune? Me?

Yasuhisa Kurona – I miss Shiro.

Urie Kuki – outta my way, badass coming through.

Mutsuki Tooru – I don’t like this much.

Shirazu Ginshi – Uh, am I doing this right? Am I cool yet?

Saiko Yonebayashi – using for battle is boring. Using to create anime sculptures is priceless.

Higemaru Touma – I mean I like it, do you? Urie, do you like it? Do you?

Aura Shinsanpei – I hope wings don’t make me look silly.

Hsaio Ching-Li – And here’s a WHAM! And a BAM! On your feet, minion!

Washuu Yoshitoki – What are you talking about?

Washuu Matsuri – Urie…will you show me yours if I show you mine?

Hajime Hazuki – I feel so goddamn grown *voice cracks* up

(Edited to add Hajime)

I really want the Qs to discover Shirazu’s body in Kanou’s laboratory

You and me both.

“What is this place?” Saiko blinks slowly. She takes in the sterilized slabs, the air so frigid she sees her breath, the smell of cleaning fluids and the scalding blue light above.

“Where is the science?” Hsaio adds with a frown.

“Clearly you all haven’t watched enough police procedurals. Saiko, I’m disappointed.” Higemaru steps forward. With a roll of his eyes, he reaches for a steel drawer and yanks.

Urie swears as legs slowly roll out. A corpse, of course.

Mutsuki says nothing. He’s been quiet since his return to CCG. But Urie can see the perturbations in his eyes.

Aura stiffens suddenly as the body finishes rolling out.

The hair is orange. The face familiar.

Saiko tries to scream, but no sound emerges.

Urie’s blood drains from his face. Higemaru shakes. Mutsuki begins sobbing. And Hsaio rushes forward, because she needs to be closer, close enough to see –

It’s him. Shirazu Ginshi.

“Kanou was going to revive him?” Saiko cries.

“No!” Hsaio shakes her head. “It’s impossible, Saiko.”

“Don’t make the same mistake Ui did,” Urie says.

“But – but – I just want to go back,” Mutsuki protests, moving closer. Aura follows, like a shield.

“We can’t!” Urie yells. “We can’t go back! He’s dead, all of you: He’s dead and gone!”

He hangs his head as Saiko rushes closer. He’s all alone on his side of the room.

When he looks up, Higemaru has glided to his side.

“It’s okay to be upset.”

Urie swears again, but allows his subordinate to pat his shoulder.

What if Shirazu survived and became best pals with higemaru

You mean this isn’t canon?! :O

“All right!” Urie stumbles out of his room, soaking wet from the bucket that just fell from his doorframe. “Which one of you was it? Which one?!”

Higemaru and Shirazu blink innocently.

“I would never hurt you, Squad Leader,” says Higemaru.

“We just want to support you,” adds Shirazu.

“Like hell you do!” Urie splutters. “It’s cold!”

“Aw.” Higemaru wraps an arm around Urie. “Here’s a warm hug from a friend.”

“Saiko! Mutsuki! Someone!” Urie fumes.

“What?” Mutsuki appears and tries not to laugh at the sight of a sopping wet Urie.

“Looks like the mischief twins struck again,” Saiko says sweetly. Hsaio smirks.

“I’m cold.”

“Let Mutsuki warm you,” Aura grumbles, shuffling out of his room.

Urie gasps.

“Sorry, Urie. We won’t do that again,” Shirazu assures him.

“We’ll think of something else, right?” Higemaru grins at Shirazu.

“Absolutely, pal.” Shirazu holds up his hand, and Higa slaps him high-five.

“I can’t handle you two.” Urie bolts into the bathroom, shaking his head.

Haise makes thanksgiving dinner for the Quinx

“I think I burned the corn.” Saiko stares at the black-tinged pellets in the bowl.

“It’s okay,” Sasaki assures her.

“All right! I’m so excited!” Shirazu zooms into the dining room.

“Me too.” Mutsuki giggles nervously as he folds each napkin. They’re using fine silverware for this American holiday.

“Humbug.” Urie rolls his eyes.

“Not the right holiday,” Shirazu sings.

“Shut it.” But ever Urie has to admit, the turkey and that cranberry jelly look scrumptious.

“To start, I think we are supposed to say what we’re thankful for,” says Sasaki, taking his place at the head of the table.

“I’m thankful for food!” Shirazu announces, drooling at the biscuits laid before him.

“I’m thankful for Sasaki preparing all of this,” Mutsuki says softly.

“I’m thankful we can eat human food,” Saiko says.

And now it’s Urie’s turn.

“I’m thankful to work at CCG and have a chance to make a difference in the world.”

Saiko rolls her eyes, Shirazu grins, and Mutsuki nudges Urie with his foot. He smiles.

Sasaki clears his throat. “I’m thankful for all of you.”