Every ship you can think of’s child’s name if they’re male or female or have a gender neutral name (but Kyou and Tsukiyama should totally adopt Niji)

Touken – Yotsume, girl

Hidekane – Sunny, boy or girl or neutral 

Shuuneki – Rin, genderqueer 

Akiramon – Kosuke, girl

Seiaki- Kosuke, girl,

Takirona- Nashiro, girl

Nishikimi – Oshin, boy

Irimi/Koma – Fumiko, girl

Yoshimura/Ukina – Eto (oh wait)

Ayahina – Ryouko, girl

UtaRen – Asa, girl

Utatori – Renji, boy

Tsukikana – Rose, girl

Tsukichie – Kanae, neutral

Tsukikyou – Niji. That is all. 

Arieto – Kaneki Ken, boy. 

Uihai – Masanori, boy

Nakimiza – Chihiro, girl

Yoriko/Takeomi – Iwao, boy

Suzuhan – Yukinori, boy

Matsurie – Danuja, girl

Urisai – Hotaru, girl

Mutsurie – Ginshi, boy

Mutsuki/Kaneki – Kishou, boy

Shiraiko -Gintoki, boy

Saiko/Hsaio – Diana of Themyscira, girl

Maruchika – Kazumi, neutral 

Fururize – Hisa, girl

The ships as weird couple stock photos?

Touken – 

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Hidekane – 

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Shuuneki –

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Akiramon – 

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Seiaki-

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Takirona

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Nishikimi –

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Irimi/Koma – 

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Irimi/Take

Yoshimura/Ukina –

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Ayahina –

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UtaRen –

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Utatori –

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Tsukikana –

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Tsukichie –

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Arieto 

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Uihai-

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Nakimiza –

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Yoriko/Takeomi –

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Suzuhan –

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Matsurie –

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Urisai-

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Mutsurie –

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Mutsuki/Kaneki

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Shiraiko –

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Saiko/Hsaio –

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Maruchika – 

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Fururize –

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Higemaru/Hakatori (Higetori)

Okay, who did I miss?

updated to include take/irimi and higetori. 

What songs do each of the tg re pairings (canon or not) remind you of? In my opinion HideKane currently makes me think of Wolves by Selena Gomez and Mutsuki x Kaneki/Sasaki from Mutsuki’s end

Hidekane – Wolves by Selena Gomez 

Touken – Warm Blood, Flor

Shuuneki – All My Heroes, Bleachers

Akiramon – Aquaman, Walk the Moon

Seiaki – Rotten, The Naked and Famous

Mutsurie – Unconditionally, Katy Perry

Mutsuki/Sasaki – We Sink, Chvrches

Urisai – Hold Back the River, James Bay

Saiko/Hsaio – Boom Clap, Charlie XCX

Shiraiko – Gone Gone Gone, Phillip Phillips

Tsukikana – XO, Beyonce 

Tsukichie – Young Blood, The Naked and Famous

Utaren – Wallflowers, The Chain Gang of 1984

Utatori – Look What You Made Me Do, Taylor Swift

Suzuhan – Let’s Hurt Tonight, OneRepublic

Maruchika – Walking the Wire, Imagine Dragons

Nishikimi – Gravity, Jai Wolf

Takirona – Something Just Like This, The Chainsmokers

Fururize – Bad Blood, Taylor Swift 

Uihai – Shut Up and Dance, Walk the Moon 

Arieto – F**K with You, Cardiknox

Ayahina – Beating Heart, Ellie Goulding 

Yoshimura/Ukina – The Energy Never Dies, The Script

Nakimiza – The Cure, Lady Gage

Some fluffy Shirazu x Saiko pleaseeeeee

“Shiragin, you haven’t finished your ice cream.” Saiko looks worried. “Are you worried about Haru?”

“I’m always worried about her,” he admits. 

“Then the solution is to a) visit her, and b) bring ice cream.” Saiko nods. “Let’s do this.”

“You’re crazy,” Shirazu protests. 

“What’s her favorite flavor? We’re getting at least a liter.” Saiko steps up to the counter. She always has room in her stomach for more ice cream.

“Rainbow sherbet.”

“It’s your favorite, too, isn’t it?” Saiko narrows her eyes. “It’s not technically ice cream.” 

“Maybe.” Shirazu grins. “Should we really spend all this money?”

“For Haru? Obviously, the answer is yes.”

“Well, when you put it like that…” Shirazu knows he shouldn’t be slacking with Saiko today, but – but – it’s just one day, and it’s for Haru

————————–

“You two are a cute couple,” Haru says cheerfully, slurping down more sherbet from her hospital bed.

She looks so happy, Shirazu can’t regret playing hooky. Even though his stomach hurts from a sugar overload.

Saiko appears unfazed by their carbohydrate fest. “Ooh, are we?”

“The fuck?!” Shirazu exclaims, leaping to his feet. Haru’s insinuation only now sinks in.

“You’re dating, right?” Haru blinks.

“NO!”

“Hey! Boyfriend, sit down and kiss me,” Saiko demands.

“Excuse you?” Shirazu’s head spins.

Saiko folds her hands into a heart. “Kiss me and make your sister happy. And yourself.”

“Why would I? You’re – my coworker – and you -” Dammit, she’s cute. And nice. And sexy. 

Shirazu leans over and pecks Saiko on the lips. To his surprise, his heart flutters and a thrill runs through him.

So he kisses her again. Haru cheers as Saiko whispers, “Thanks, Shiragin.”

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) can I have each pairing that you can think of’s favourite sex position?

Okay, who did I miss. 😛

Touken – spooning

Hidekane – missionary

Shuuneki – wall sex

Nishikimi – cowgirl

Irimi/Koma – Doggy style. I had to.

Ayahina – Butterfly. I’m sorry.

Utaren – wall sex

Akiramon – missionary

Seiaki – up and over

Takirona – cowgirl 

Suzuhan – cowboy

Tsukikana – using their kagunes so they’re both upside down

Tsukichie – sit and straddle

Mutsurie – missionary

Urisai – spoons

Shiraiko – doggy style

Saiko//Hsaio – 69

Uihai – missionary

Arieto – whatever wacky idea Eto has next.

Maruchika – wall sex

Furutui – standing

Furuta/Rize – varies but he’s on bottom. 

Takeomi/Yoriko – missionary

TG Ships as Disney Love Songs

Touken: I See the Light 

Ayahina: Beauty and the Beast 

Mutsurie: Fixer-Upper 

Nishikimi: You’ll Be In My Heart 

Akiramon: Kiss the Girl 

Tsukikana: A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes 

Takirona: Can You Feel the Love Tonight

Arieto: If I Never Knew You 

Shiraiko: So Close 

Nakimiza: Something There 

Saiko/Hsiao: Love Is An Open Door 

Suzuhan: Never Knew I Needed 

Uihai: I’m Wishing 

Utaren: He’s a Tramp 

 (also brought to you by @trashyhumanespresso & @hamliet)

Shiraiko/Beauty and the Beast

Anonymous asked: After that Mulan-Mutsurie mashup, I dare you to write Disney-film mashups for: Ayahina, Touken, Takirona, Akiramon, Uihai, Nishikimi, Tsukikana, Arieto, and Shiraiko. Ty and good night.

I’ll be posting these once a day (probably) until the list is done!

Mutsurie/Mulan: here.

Ayahina/Sleeping Beauty: here.

Uihai/Tangled: here.

Akiramon/The Hunchback of Notre Dame: here.

Tskukikana/The Little Mermaid: here.

Nishikimi/Snow White: here.

Takirona/Frozen: here.

“I’m not sure I can do this.” Shirazu cringes as Mutsuki helps him into a suit jacket. Damn her for holding him to promises made before he died. 

“You must!” Higemaru stomps his foot. “You must be bold. Daring!”

He follows Shirazu to the mirror. “There will be music. Romantic candlelight, provided by us. And when the moment comes, you’ll confess your love!”

Shirazu stares at himself. “I’m hideous.”

“You look the same was ever,” Urie says in his quintessential bored voice. 

“I’m not though.” He’s dead. He’s a zombie. A walking corpse. Whatever you want to call it.

He should never have agreed to this.

“It’s okay.” Sasaki – excuse him, Kaneki – pats his shoulder. “Saiko won’t care.”

“Now, show us your most winning smile.” Aura can’t believe he got roped into this. Not only is he now friendly with ghouls, but he’s also friendly with the undead. 

“Maybe a little less…toothy,” Higemaru advises.

“Onward you go, brave one.” Kaneki smiles at him. He doesn’t care if Shirazu is a zombie. His kids are back

Shirazu sees a very pregnant Touka and lithe Hsaio shove Saiko out from behind the curtain. She’s dressed in a beautiful blue ballgown that shimmers with her every move. White gloves adorn her hands. 

“Hi,” she says, almost shyly. 

Shirazu croaks. His stiff suit and jerky movements are even worse by comparison. “You look nice.”

Still, he takes her hand and leads her into the ballroom.

Ui stands there, ready to start singing. “Tale as old as time…”

“Of course you’d ask for this song.” Shirazu smiles at Saiko. 

“It’s still the best.” Saiko offers him a mischievous grin. 

With his heart pounding and something stuck in his throat, Shirazu places his arm around her waist. She steps in tune with the song, beaming brighter than the sun. 

“Beauty and the beast…” Ui sings, and on cue, Saiko stops moving.

“I love you, Shirazu.”

“I’m – who can love a zombie?” Shirazu blinks back tears.

“Me. I do. Saiko does.” She draws him closer, and, peering into her sparkling eyes, Shirazu dares to hope he too might have a happy ending. 

Hairu elbows Ui, who begins singing “Sha-la-la-la, don’t be shy…”

Touka tries not to laugh. The room erupts in cheers as the happy couple seals their future with a kiss.

Saiko and Shirazu get together and Mutsuki and Urie do too, and Sasaki comes home to the shock of his life.

Bless you.

“Mucchan.” Urie pouts at the base of the stairs. “I just want to kiss you over and over.”

Mutsuki blushes. “You can.”

Urie brushes back Mutsuki’s green locks to see his eyes better. “You wanna go to my room?”

Mutsuki nods, embarrassed but thrilled. 

—————————————————-

“Look at them.” Saiko peers around the corner to watch them head upstairs. “I’m so happy for them.”

“I am too. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have earplugs to put in.” Shirazu pushes past.

“Hold on, hold on!” Saiko is offended. “You can’t possibly pass this up.”

“Pass what up?” Shirazu is thoroughly confused.

“These!” Saiko pushes her chest up.

“Oh – oh!” Shirazu looks both terrified and elated. “Saiko. Wait. Do you actually – you feel that way – about me?”

“Of course I do, silly.” Saiko smirks. “If you’d like to touch them, you can.”

“I, uh, I like you.” Shirazu splutters. 

Saiko wraps her arms around him. “Shall we go upstairs?”

——————————————————

Sasaki Haise whistles as he enters the Chateau. “Hello?”

He hears a shout from upstairs, and with a smile, heads towards the noise.

“Saiko, you’re amazing,” he hears Shirazu groan. She giggles in response.

Haise is now very confused. 

He backs towards Urie’s room. Sane, grumpy Urie.

“Urie, I love you,” Mutsuki’s voice sobs.

“I love you, Tooru,” Urie whispers. “And you have a beautiful body.”

Haise stumbles backwards and nearly throws himself down the stairs. He frantically dials Arima’s number. 

“Haise?”

“My squad is – they’re – engaging in activities of a – sensitive nature,” Haise squeaks.

“Hmm. Ui and Hairu should learn from them,” Arima muses.

“No!” Haise hangs up and calls Akira. “Akira! Help! My squad is making love!”

“All together?” Akira sounds scandalized.

“No.” Haise is appalled. “Urie and Mutsuki, and Saiki and Shirazu. I can hear them.”

“Oh. Hmm. About time.” Akira clears her throat. “Want earplugs?”

Touka’s Inspiration in Other Ships

By a lovely Nonny-Mouse. 

Everyone asks Touka for relationship advice. Here are the results:

Akiramon:

Akira: are you a virgin?

Amon: wait, what? I mean… yes, I guess, I know I’m over 30, but you see, I had a really bad childhood, so I didn’t want to… *continues for five minutes*

Akira: *is getting tired of this shit and strips her shirt off*

Amon: o_O

Ayahina:

Hinami: are you a virgin?

Ayato: WHAT HINAMI WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME THAT *gets all red*

Hinami: Because I like you!

Ayato: !!! 😀 *strips shirt off*

Hinami: and your sister told me she asked Kaneki that before they did it.

Ayato: If you’re trying to seduce me never bring up my sister’s sex life again.

Shiraiko:

Saiko: are you a virgin?

Shirazu: excuse me! Saiko! You don’t ask someone that!

Saiko: Fine, do you want to have sex?

Shirazu: with you?

Saiko: No, with a doll. Yes, with me.

Shirazu: Maybe…

Saiko/Hsiao:

Hsiao: are you a virgin?

Saiko: Not for long if you want to do something about it.

Nakimiza:

Miza: are you a virgin?

Naki: what’s a virgin?

Miza: nosebleeds.

Mutsurie:

Mutsuki: are you a virgin?

Urie: *no mouth, boy is shook*

Mutsuki: I’ve never done it with someone I … cared about; that’s kind of like being a virgin, right?

Urie: what?

Mutsuki: *kisses him*

Urie: idk what’s happening but I like it.

uihai playing twister ;)

soutasnotebook:

This is a fantastic idea

Ui is not sure how he got roped into this, but his head is facing the wrong direction and one leg is over one shoulder. 

Hairu, probably. She wanted to join the Quinx’s party, and even though he was uncomfortable, he went for her. 

Now they’re the last two Twister survivors, battling for victory.

Hairu laughs. She looks like a pretzel covered in rose petals.

“Ui. Your turn.” Saiko spins. “Left hand, green.”

Ui screams internally.

Saiko exchanges a smirk with Shirazu. Their plot to catch Inspector Bowl Cut in a state of disarray is working.

With a groan, he plants his left hand on the nearest green he can find. His muscles tremble, but he won’t give up.

“Koori, I’m in pain.” Hairu flutters her eyes at him.

“You can fall,” he grunts.

“There’s no love to spare in Twister.” Saiko rubs her hands together. “Hairu, right foot, yellow.”

“Yellow, like the sun.” Hairu smiles and barely manages to reach around Ui. 

She finds face directly over his, which is perfectly positioned upwards. “Hello there.”

“Help me,” he whispers.

“Okay.” She kisses him.

Ui shrieks and falls, taking her with him.

“Hairu cheated. That means Ui is the winner.” Saiko would be upset, but Hairu kissed Ui, and that’s even better than her plan.

Ui sputters.

“She meant it,” all the Quinx yell simultaneously – even Urie, because Mutsuki made him. 

Hairu flushes and smiles at Ui. He can’t quite believe it, but he kisses her back. 

“Time for spin the bottle!” yells Saiko.

@hamliet

“I’ll go first.” Saiko grins mischievously and spins the bottle. It lands on Shirazu, who turns as red as his hair.

“Oooh, Shiragin, you ready?” She claps and leans over to kiss him. 

“That was too quick,” he complains, and she giggles. 

“Take me to dinner and get more.”

“Hey! No propositioning!” Urie is horrified that he’s been roped into playing this juvenile game.

Hsaio looks sad. So when she spins next, Hairu considers it her duty to “stop” the bottle on Saiko.

“Ooh, what a busy night for Saiko.” She squeaks as Hsaio presses her lips to hers, for longer than Urie and Ui thought was necessary.

Judging from Saiko’s smile, she disagrees with them.

Ui spins the bottle, but to his own shame, he doctors it to land on Hairu.

She shivers with excitement as he pecks her. “Wait! Kiss me more!”

“That’s for after the party,” Saiko says, and Urie’s getting real tired of her insinuations.

Ui sits down, face as pink as Hairu’s hair. 

Saiko claps her hands. “So many red faces. Who will be next? Higa, you’re up.” 

“No.” Higamaru wanted Hsaio. Now he has … Aura?

Aura’s eyes are about to fall out of his skull. “Help.”

“Eee.” Higemaru knows he can’t do this halfway. If he’s gonna kiss Aura, he’ll make it count, feelings be damned. He squeezes his eyes shut and sucks Aura’s lips in his.

“This is oddly fascinating.” Shirazu is mesmerized.

“I’m scared and I want to go home,” Ui mumbles as they break away. 

“Love it. That was your first kiss, wasn’t it, Aura?”

“Shut up, Saiko.”

“I’ll take that as a yes. Mucchy?” Saiko hands the bottle to Mutsuki.

They’ll all think he’s disgusting. They’re going to hate kissing him, unless he lands on –

In fact, he does land on Urie. 

Saiko smirks. Their leader is not displeased and she knows it.

“Is this okay?” Mutsuki murmurs, leaning close to Urie.

“Yes.”

Their lips brush, and Urie doesn’t look disgusted. He looks at Mutsuki with wonder in his eyes.