ok so. may i request haise and juuzou making out in the office room since no one else is in there. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and things start to get pretty steamy until suddenly someone (you can choose who) comes in the room and catches them in the act.

Hehe I love “caught in the act” scenarios.

“Haise.” Suzuya Juuzou tugs on Sasaki’s hair. “Kiss me more.”

“Always.” Sasaki dives in. Suzuya pulls him down across the desk, and soon Sasaki is straddling him and their limbs are intertwined and all Sasaki can think is Juuzou, Juuzou, Juuzou, and all Suzuya can think is Haise.

He moans as Sasaki’s tongue circles his.

“That feels so good,” he says between kisses.

“You feel good.” Sasaki puts his hands between Suzuya’s legs. “Is this okay?”

“Mmm-hmm.” Suzuya treasure the feeling of Sasaki’s hands on him, of Sasaki’s hips digging into his.

He slips his own hands under Sasaki’s coat to feel his chest. “Ah-ahhh.”

A high-pitched scream sends both of them toppling to the floor. They look up to see Urie Kuki wailing and pounding his own eyes. “Help! Help! Someone! BLIND ME!”

Kaneki/Sasaki stays with Quinx and at Rushima Mutsuki is so happy and in love with his sensei ( and not confused and sad like that moment in canon where he talks with Hogi) and Sasaki returns the feelings. Mutsuki also praises Sasaki while having the heart to heart with Hogi instead of thinking how he can’t help but still think kindly of Sasaki despite him leaving like in canon) and Sasaki stops Torso when he shows up from beating up and capturing Mutsuki out of Love and equal devotion

“Sensei, we’re going to battle very soon.” Mutsuki nervously nibbles on his lip.

“How are you feeling?” Sasaki can’t lose another Quinx. Never.

“I’m okay. I’m more worried about you.” Mutsuki hesitates. “Is this what love is? That warm feeling in my chest every time you look at me? Being afraid you won’t be there to give me that feeling anymore?”

“Mutsuki.” Sasaki regards him soberly.

“What?”

Sasaki grabs his hands and looks deep into his eyes. “You’ll never be alone.”

Tears well in Mutsuki’s eyes. “Thank you. And you won’t either – not anymore.”

Later that day, Mutsuki finds himself face-to-face with Saeki.

“Go – stop!” Mutsuki screams as Torso smashes Hogi’s brains out against the cave wall.

“Did you come to see me, little lady?” Torso grins maniacally.

“Get the fuck away from my man!” Haise Sasaki knocks Torso into the cave wall, besides Hogi’s remains. Their bloods mingle, and Mutsuki feels horrified at this blasphemy.

“What?” Torso looks up in confusion as a rinkaku encircles him.

“You will never, ever hurt Mutsuki again. I love him and he loves me, and you can’t get between us,” Sasaki seethes.

Mutsuki raises his bikaku. This is why he loves Sasaki – because Sasaki makes him better.

Torso lunges for Sasaki, and Mutsuki rams his kagune through his neck.

His head tumbles to the ground, and Mutuski falls back. Why does he now pity this headless man?

Sasaki looks over and sees Mutsuki’s shoulders shaking. “Mucchan, it’s not your fault. I promise.”

“Are you sure? Why do predators always find me?”

Sasaki blinks back tears. “I don’t know. But I promise you’ll never be alone.”

In the manga when the Quinx and Sasaki crossdressed for a mission Mutsuki gets drunk and acts all happy and exuberant. How about an extension to this scene where Mutsuki, after saluting Sasaki, gets a little handsy with Sasaki and flirts with his beloved sensei, not entirely because of the alcohol. And Sasaki likes the attention Mutsuki pays him.

“Shashaki.” Mutsuki rubs his mentor’s shoulders. “You’re sho pretty. You’re the prettiesht girl here.”

“Mucchy?” Saiko raises her eyebrows.

“Sho pretty. Isn’t she?” Mutsuki leans against Sasaki.

“Yas.” Shirazu raises his glass. “A toast to our pretty Sasaki!”

The Quinx clink their glasses together, and Mutsuki turns back to Sasaki.

“You’re the nicesht pershon I know. Do you like me? Am I your friend?” Mutsuki grips Sasaki’s arm to keep his balance as the room spins around him. “Pleash shay yesh.”

“Of c-c-course, you’re my friend.” Sasaki’s face is purple. But Mutsuki’s eyes are so round and cute and innocent and irresistible.

“Yay!” Mutsuki laughs.

Sasaki leans over and hugs Mutsuki. “See?”

Mutsuki has tears in his eyes. “He likesh me.”

Loving your first time posts!~ Could we perhaps see a first-time drunk Juuzou scenario next? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Would he be a light(gets drunk off the smallest shot)/medium/heavy weight(alcohol hardly phases him)? What would be the aftermath////

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

“You’re the beshtesht shquad leader ever.” Hanbee clutches Suzuya’s shoulders. The room spins around him.

Suzuya sips his Long Island. It’s sweet and tangy and he likes it.

“To Shushuya!” Keijin leaps on the bar counter.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to keep your feet off the table,” says the bar owner, brushing back her peach hair.

“Okay.” Keijin falls backwards. “Trust fall!”

Suzuya barely manages to catch his second-in-command. Huh. He feels tingly all over. That seems weird.

Miyuki giggles. “I can shee into the fifth dimentshion. I can shee the future!”

“I can see your underwear.” Mizurou waves a hand in Miyuki’s face.

“No you can’t. You’re sheeing my shoul.” Miyuki laughs.

Suzuya waves down the bartender. “Excuse me; why is the room spinning?”

The bartender points to his Long Island. “How many of those have you had?”

“Three,” he says cheerfully.

The woman turns white.

“Bye!” Suzuya slaps money down on the table and stands. He trips immediately over Hanbee, who is rolling around on the floor.

When the Quinx Squad is dispatched to a bar called Helter Skelter, they do not expect to find Suzuya rolling around on the floor with Hanbee.

“That’s it; I quit.” Urie tries to back out, but Shirazu holds him fast.

As each Quinx drags a member of Suzuya squad out of the bar, they marvel at the unexpected turn of events.

The bar owner, too, did not expect to see Haise Sasaki’s face.

Hide is on new pain meds that make him, for lack of better terms, “high as a kite”, and Kaneki discovers he can see his past selves. Cue embarrassing puns (Haineki, get it ;)), lots of praise from one high blonde and even some crying from Hide as he reveals how much Kaneki, all parts of him really, mean to him.

Omg I love this.

“Kanekiiiiiiii…Shironeki, come here. You needs a hugs,” slurs Hide.

“Hide!” Kaneki colors as Hide embraces a pillow like a lover – but his friend only sees himself snuggling a white-haired boy sorely in need of love.

“Love me; I promise I love you,” Hide insists. The real Kaneki backs away.

Meanwhile, in Hide’s mind…

“That’s why I’m doing this,” says Shironeki. “Because I love you.”

“Nah. If you really knew I loved you, you wouldn’t.” Hide waves an arm about. “Hey, Kuroneki, get over here!”

“Hmm? Um, me?” Kuroneki hurries away from the corner he’s been hiding in.

“Your eyepatch is super-cool, bro.”

“I think it’s a ghastly sight,” says Haise.

“Don’t be so punny.” Hide hurls a tissue at Haise. “I challenge you and your pinstripes to a pun war!”

“Is the punishment for losing death?” asks Haise sweetly.

“No – it’s tickling!” Hide laughs hysterically.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, dude?” Reaperneki crosses his arms.

“What the fu…what is wrong with you? You’re a sourpuss.”

“Most like a sourpast, am I right?” Haise giggles.

“I love all your pasts, Kaneki,” Hide says dreamily. “All of them. You’re my best friend. I ain’t giving up on any of you – not even you, 240.”

“WAGH!”

“Hi, kids.” Hide waves at the two Childnekis. “I’m sorry, you know, that I couldn’t stop your aunt or save your mom. I hoped me being your friend was enough, but I don’t think it was. And it hurt, because I loved you then and do now. Whether eyeless or punny or emo or eyepatched.”

“What about me?” demands Reaperneki.

“You, too.” Hide stretches out his arms, and Reaperneki begrudgingly accepts.

Hide starts crying. “You guys do love me too, I know. I’ve always known. I always understood. I wish you did.”

Outside Hide’s mind…

“I wish you did,” Hide mumbles, drooling.

“I do. I promise I do now.” Kaneki wipes his own eyes as he lays Hide down on the couch he and Touka just bought.

Remember how Urie was too late to rescue Mutsuki from Torso. How about an alternate hurt/comfort take on this where instead of Urie, Kaneki/Sasaki shows up in time to rescue his beloved student/subordinate himself (before Mutsuki utterly is able to destroy Torso like in canon) and Kaneki/Sasaki defeats Torso. After getting him to eat from him to replenish Mutsuki’s limbs he and Mutsuki open up and bond about the horrors they faced at the hands of their torturers and dark pasts

Soooo sweet, Nonny-mouse. TW for references to torture and sexual assault.

Why does this always happen? I hate me. Mutsuki pinches his eyes shut, praying that maybe he can die.

He feels Torso breathing besides him, and hates himself because he pities him.

“Get away from him!” A thick rinkaku pierces Torso through his heart. Mutsuki scrambles up to see Sensei holding Torso’s lifeless body aloft.

Sasaki tosses him away and turns to Mutsuki, who doubles over in a frantic attempt to make himself small. Sasaki knows. Sasaki sees.

“Mutsuki.” Sasaki’s voice breaks. He approaches his student tentatively.

“Go away,” Mutsuki cries. “I’m disgusting.”

“No!” Sasaki wraps his arms around him. “It’s okay. You’e okay, you’re okay, you’re okay.”

Mutsuki heaves a sob. “I’m not. I’m – you don’t know what I’ve done!”

“Then tell me. But first, you need to eat.” Sasaki holds out his arm. “This will grow your limbs quicker. I’m your leader and I okay this.”

Mutsuki’s kakugan gleams, and he dives in.

As Mucchan chews on him, Sasaki swallows. “I’ve been kidnapped and tortured, too. You know what I thought about, as Jason – the same one Suzuya killed – kept cutting off my toes and fingers, over and over and over? I kept thinking about how this was my fault. I kept thinking about my mom used to hit me. How she told me it was better to be hurt than to hurt. And that just couldn’t work in my situation anymore and I wanted it to work so bad.”

Mutsuki swallows. “Your family hurt you, too?”

Sasaki nods. Tears stream out from his eyes.

“My dad…hurt me. Like Torso did. My mom watched.” Mutsuki lets out a sob. Maybe if he confesses, Sasaki will understand. Maybe Sasaki will relive his pain by killing him. “And I…ghouls didn’t kill them, Sasaki. I did.”

“Mutsuki.” Sasaki looks sick.

“Please let me die.” Mutsuki stares at his regrowing hands.

“No.” Sasaki channels his inner Touka – whatever that means – and shoves more flesh into Mutsuki’s mouth. “I love you, Mutsuki. You’re my family. We’re…we’re a new family, of abandoned and abused kids and we suck a lot. But we love each other, and we help each other.”

“You don’t – hate me?” Mutsuki sniffles. “I’m as bad as Jason. As Torso.”

“You are not! You were more sinned against than sinned,” Sasaki quotes. “I told you, you’re okay, Mutsuki, you’re okay. I’ve got you. I’m not giving up, and neither should you.”

Mutsuki wails and grabs Sensei in a hug. “Help me.”

“Always.”

Hello! It is absolutely essential that we have a conference of kanekis all having a very serious and passionate debate over what is Touka’s most appealing trait in each of their eyes :)

I agree. This is IMPORTANT.

“This is IMPORTANT.” Reaperneki shoves Shironeki back. “Touka-chan’s ferocity is her best characteristic. It’s not even a contest.”

“Uh – I like her compassion,” says Kuroneki. “Like when she force-fed me.”

“Eyepatch, remember how excited we got when she told us not to be gentle?” spits Reaperneki.

“That’s true,” admits Haise. “But her coffee-brewing skills are out of this world. And she was so patient – with me, who didn’t even remember her!”

Shironeki cracks his knuckles. “Touka-chan never gives up.”

“I like her smile,” says the Kuroneki child.

“I like that she isn’t mean,” whispers Shironeki. Haise immediately wraps him in a hug.

“Blehhh-waahhhhh-shhhaaaaaaaa,” sobs 240.

“Can I kill him yet?” asks Reaperneki. “He can’t even say Touka-chan’s name. That’s not forgivable. Let’s make it reaper-time.”

“No killing!” yells Kuroneki, frantically waving his arms.

240 whimpers. “Touka-chan.”

“There.” Haise nods. “You see?”

“Haise, that’s a mean pun, even for you,” Reaperneki shoots back.

“I didn’t mean it like that!”

“Touka-chan is our fire, and we need her,” declares Shironeki.

“We’re still pretty fucked up,” admits Reaperneki.

“I love that she loves me.” Shironeki nods.

All the Nekis fall quiet.

“Do we agree on that?” Reaperneki asks begrudgingly.

“Yes.”

“Yes!”

“Of – of course!”

“Wah!”

I’ve seen very little Hairu/Sasaki fanfiction. Could you maybe?

“Ihei.” Sasaki Haise nods at her. “That was a brilliant move out there.”

“Oh really?” Ihei Hairu smiles at him. She’s so pretty, his stomach hurts. “Want me to teach you?”

Sasaki nods eagerly, and Hairu rubs her hands together with anticipation.

She’s always felt comfortable around Sasaki, because he is a ghoul. He can’t judge her for the garden. She feels certain that if he knew her secret, he would accept her.

“Teach us, too!” Shio hurries over.

Sasaki’s face falls, and Hairu blushes.

“Uh – Shio…” Yusa says nervously.

“No, no, of course I’ll teach you.” Hairu ruffles Rikai’s hair. She can be another Arima to these kids – teach them, give them hope.

Ui watches but doesn’t join in. He wears a pout on his delicate face.

When Sasaki grabs her hands, Hairu catches her breath. From the red tinge to Sasaki’s cheeks, he feels it too.

Would Arima approve? She thinks so.

“Uh – would you like to get dinner after this?” she asks quickly.

Sasaki nods, and she throws him backwards. “I win this round. You have to be quicker on your feet.”

He smiles back at her.

Thank you for so many scenarios. You rock. For Chapter 144, Touka, Saiko, Urie, Scarecrow!Hide and Akira somehow end up in the Kaneki conference and remind them that they aren’t alone in this and to rely on others more. (Maybe end with a “Let’s go home”, from Hide 😭)

Thank you for sending them in! You rock too. =) Also, I included Mutsuki because he’s another part of Kaneki’s ‘family.’

“I want to see Touka-chan again,” Shironeki mumbles.

“She’s here.” Shironeki looks up to see Touka’s hands clasping his face. She leans over him, eyes smoldering.

“Maman!” Saiko dashes in to throw her arms around Haise.

Mutsuki and Urie tiptoe in behind her. Mutsuki waves timidly at the kids, and Urie nods at the Reaperneki. “’Sup.”

“Hey, it’s okay, you know.” Akira enters and approaches 240. She kneels besides him and wraps her arms around him. “Shh, shh. It’s okay.”

“Why are you all here?” Kuroneki blinks.

“Because they love you,” says a garbled voice. Scarecrow enters.

“Who are you, brat?” Reaperneki crosses his arms.

He holds up a sign. I’m Hideyoshi Nagachika.

Kuroneki gasps, and Scarecrow crosses over to him. I was never gone.

“What happened – I mean – why – you’re not really here.” Shironeki’s tears flow. Mutsuki would never be in the same room as Touka-chan.

“We are, in a sense. We’re all a part of you, too, right?” Touka smiles.

“Try to confide in us a bit more,” Saiko says.

“We do love you,” Mutsuki says. “Even Urie. Even me.”

“Where did I go wrong?”

Akira stands. “You didn’t trust us. But we trusted you. We’re a part of you. Let us help you, Ken.”

“Can you bite?” Mutsuki asks. “Just one bite of the Oggai should heal you.”

“He’s a kid!” gasps Kuroneki. “And a human!”

Touka scowls. “Oh, because humanity totally matters.”

“Ghouls aren’t evil.” Akira says. “Despite what I taught you. I’m sorry I failed as your mother, Ken.”

The kids begin to sob. “You didn’t fail us, Akira-san.”

“Take a bite. He’ll heal and so will you. And you’ll save GOAT,” says Urie.

“We’ll be with you,” Saiko adds.

Hide holds up another sign. Let’s go home.

Home isn’t a place. Home is where these messy, crazy people are. Reaperneki wipes his eyes, and Haise smirks at him. “Crying?”

“Let’s go home.” Kuroneki stands, and one by one, all the Nekis follow. Haise guides 240.

Let’s go home.

Now I need all the nekis reacting to chapter 125, please make it happen

hehehe.

Kuroneki’s face is cherry red. “S-s-sure, I guess.”

Omg is this actually happening? Suddenly, he gasps.

“Wait, hold on!” He grabs the child!nekis and covers their eyes. “Reaperneki, help me!”

“Okay, kids, time for sleep.” Reaperneki shoves cotton in the kids’ ears. “Someone blindfold them. Oh, wait, the rest of you are too wimpy.”

Shironeki cracks his knuckles as Reaperneki completes the kids’ sensory deprivation. “Let’s do this.”

“Wait, you bastard.” Reaperneki shoves Kuroneki to the floor. “Move aside, all of you. This is my turn.”

240 blubbers excitedly. Maybe. No one is entirely sure with 240.

“Be gentle,” says Haise, patting Reaperneki on the shoulder.

Reaperneki glowers at him. “Touch me again and I’ll kill you. This is only-Touka-touching-me-allowed time.”

She pulls off her bra, and all the adult Nekis gasp.

“They’re…soft,” whispers Kuroneki.

“Are we allowed to touch her?” Shironeki cries.

“You don’t have to be so gentle,” Touka whispers.

Haise’s face falls. Reaperneki grins.

“Watch a pro handle this.”

“Ba-wahhhhhh-grahhh-virgin!” wails 240.

“Good point.” Haise glares at Reaperneki. “We’e all virgins. We can’t, er…fuck this up.”

The Kanekis laugh before losing themselves in Touka-chan.