The quinx squad tries to force Shirazu and Urie to get along without arguing/fighting

“This is a fucking joke, right?” Urie is too horrified to move.

“Nope,” says Sasaki. Mado and Arima stand behind him, arms crossed like they mean business.

“No!” wails Shirazu.

“Keep in mind, you had chances to avoid this.” Akira steps closer, and Saiko presses her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.

Urie shoots her a murderous glare. She squeaks and hides behind Mutsuki. “There’s no way. No fucking way.”

Takeomi will see me.

“Well, there’s no way you’ll ever do anything from desk work from now on,” says Sasaki sweetly. “Unless.”

He waves the monstrosity in his hands about. A giant shirt reading This is Our Get Along Shirt.

“I thought that existed only in memes,” Shirazu wails.

“Not anymore.” Sasaki waves the two doomed Quinx forward.

It’s tight and awkward. Urie can’t believe he’s going to spend the rest of today chained by cotton to this mouth-breather.

Saiko doubles over laughing, no longer afraid of either of them. “And here you all thought I was the problem!”

“That reminds me,” says Sasaki. He snaps his fingers.

Akira holds out a This is Our Hard Work Shirt, and Arima waves a This is Our Face Our Fear Shirt.

“You’ll each be paired with Akira and Arima, respectively. It was only fair,” says Sasaki.

crack head cannon; when sasaki was first released from chochela, koori ui still called him by his prison id and Arima told him to play nice with the other kids while haise stared off at the security cameras like he was on the office

“Number 240,” Ui says, “do you have the paperwork ready? I can help you fill it out.”

Sasaki frowns at him, as if he knows there’s something wrong with what Ui just said, but can’t for the life of him figure it out.

“No, think you,” says Sasaki.

Ui does not trust him. He still knew enough to recognize his prison code. How can Arima really trust him? He’s a ghoul.

“Sassan, would you like a melon pun?” Hairu skips into their office, a large, sweet-smelling bag in her hand. “I bought them for the kids, but there’s plenty for us, too.”

“We love you, Hairu,” says Shio, rushing towards his cousin.

“Thank you,” says Sasaki as everyone, even Arima, crowds around Hairu.

“Ui, are you not hungry?” Hairu turns to him with her eyes wide.

“I just…don’t trust 240,” Ui complains.

“Ui, play nice with the other kids,” Arima says before returning to his desk with a melon bun clutched in his hand.

Sasaki forces a smile. Not that he entirely understands, but he knows Ui doesn’t like him and Arima has apparently defended him.

crack head canon: before the quinx met their mentor. classmates were telling them all the rumors surrounding him. (like he is from chochela, he is insane, he is a murderer, etc.) and they are get a picture of who their mentor is gonna be in their heads and then they meet the cheerful haise ‘i cry at the sad dog commercials’ sasaki

“I hear he’s insane,” says Shirazu with a lazy grin.

“I hear he’s a ghoul, so I don’t give a damn,” Urie grunts. He leans back against the wall, crossing his arms.

“I’m sure they wouldn’t let a murderer lead us,” says Mutsuki, biting his lip. Yeah, and they wouldn’t let a murderer be a Quinx, right?

Saiko yawns. “I don’t care. If he’s a feral killer ghoul, at least he’s interesting that way.”

“I hate you,” Urie says.

“We know,” Shirazu replies.

Mutsuki covers his ears, and Urie rolls his eyes.

Someone raps firmly on the conference room door.

“Come in!” Shirazu forces a grin.

Washuu Yoshitoki enters, followed by a young man with black and white hair. The man is wiping his eyes. “I’m sorry for my disarray. Mado just showed me the saddest puppy commercial.”

Shirazu’s mouth falls open.

Saiko feels disappointed.

“Anyhow, I’m Sasaki Haise. Your new mentor!” Sasaki holds out his hand to Mutsuki with a smile. “You’re Mutsuki Tooru, right?”

Mutsuki nods, dumbfounded. Sasaki is normal! Sasaki likes him!

“And you’re Shirazu Ginshi?”

“Y-yes. Such a pleasure to meet you,” Shirazu stammers.

“I’m Yonebayashi Saiko. Otherwise known as “the girl,” I’m sure.” Saiko smirks and flutters her fingers towards Sasaki. He blushes. What a cinnamon roll.

“And you must be Urie Kuki.”

Urie says nothing, but his eyes remain narrowed at Sasaki. Whatever you’re hiding, you disgustingly cheerful bucket, I’m gonna find it.

could you please write some more about juuzou crushing on haise?? its been a while since i asked this but i crave it

Ooooooooooh!

“Haise is so sweet,” Suzuya Juuzou murmurs, watching his friend across the office. Haise is handing candy to the Zero Squad kids. Arima shakes his head, probably anticipating a sugar-high Shio.

“He’s kind,” Hanbee agrees.

“Should I buy him some candy?”

“Wouldn’t you eat it first?” Mizurou asks.

Suzuya’s face falls. “For Haise…maybe I wouldn’t.”

“Wait. Is this a crush?” Keijin narrows his eyes.

“What?” Suzuya yelps.

“Affirmative.” Mikage chuckles.

Suzuya shakes his head slowly. His eyes look like saucers. “No…I don’t even know…I don’t think I’d know what a crush was.”

“You’re adorable,” Keijin says.

“Take it from people who know. Does you heart flutter when you see him?” asks Mizurou.

“No.” Suzuya bites his lip. “But my tummy tightens.”

“Close enough.” Mikage clears his throat. “Do you daydream about him?”

“Yeah, we go to candy shops together…”

“Do you feel safe and warm around him?” asks Hanbee.

Suzuya nods.

“Congratulations, you have a crush.” Mizurou pushes Suzuya towards Haise’s direction. “Now, go make those candy shop dreams reality.”

Suzuya hesitates. How unlike him. Maybe that’s part of a crush, too. He forces himself to walk over to Haise.

Haise turns around to greet him with a smile that sends happiness flooding Suzuya’s heart.

Haise makes thanksgiving dinner for the Quinx

“I think I burned the corn.” Saiko stares at the black-tinged pellets in the bowl.

“It’s okay,” Sasaki assures her.

“All right! I’m so excited!” Shirazu zooms into the dining room.

“Me too.” Mutsuki giggles nervously as he folds each napkin. They’re using fine silverware for this American holiday.

“Humbug.” Urie rolls his eyes.

“Not the right holiday,” Shirazu sings.

“Shut it.” But ever Urie has to admit, the turkey and that cranberry jelly look scrumptious.

“To start, I think we are supposed to say what we’re thankful for,” says Sasaki, taking his place at the head of the table.

“I’m thankful for food!” Shirazu announces, drooling at the biscuits laid before him.

“I’m thankful for Sasaki preparing all of this,” Mutsuki says softly.

“I’m thankful we can eat human food,” Saiko says.

And now it’s Urie’s turn.

“I’m thankful to work at CCG and have a chance to make a difference in the world.”

Saiko rolls her eyes, Shirazu grins, and Mutsuki nudges Urie with his foot. He smiles.

Sasaki clears his throat. “I’m thankful for all of you.”

Hi! It’s my birthday today! So I was wondering if you could write some birthday hcs for Haise, Mutsuki, Itori, Uta, Yomo and maybe Hinami?

Happy Birthday!!!!

– Haise adores when Saiko forces the Quinx squad to sing “Happy Birthday” and “How old are you now” to him. He also adores decorating his own birthday cake.

– Mutsuki silently wonders how he’s made it this far. But when Saiko hugs him and even Urie hands him a painting of happy cats, everything seems brighter. Sensei once bought him a book of poetry, and he cried later with happiness.

– Itori celebrates with alcohol. Not drinking it herself, but watching Yomo and Uta get drunk and recording the conversation for blackmail later.

– Uta adds a small tattoo each birthday. He marks each birthday on his stomach, just a small line.

– Yomo pretends it’s not happening. He once locked himself in his home the entire day. But then Itori showed up calling him “old man,” and Uta brought blood wine, and in the end they had fun playing drunk Charades and board games, because he’s Yomo.

– Hinami celebrates her birthday by praying for happiness for her parents. She then buys herself the largest book she can find, and an extra large cup of coffee, and loses herself in her book.

A continuation of the stray dog head cannon, when Saiko is home later with the other Quinx, she tells them about the stray dogs and Urie makes a joke that “it makes sense cause birds of a feather stick together” or something (doesn’t have to be those exact words), indicating that Sasaki is a stray dog and Shizaru punches him for disrespect.

“It was so funny. All these giant fluffy monsters overwhelming Maman.” Saiko smiles. “So cute.”

Shirazu peers at her photos. “I need these doggos in my life.”

“They’re out back,” Mutsuki says. “I wonder if they fetch.”

“They really love Maman.” Saiko opens the door to smile at the dogs still surrounding Sasaki.

“Well, birds of a feather stick together,” Urie mumbles.

“Huh?” Saiko frowns.

Urie rolls his eyes.

“Saiko understands, she just doesn’t approve.” She crosses her arms. Mutsuki’s stomach turns.

“Don’t disrespect Sasaki! He has us! Maybe we’re also the stray dogs.” Shirazu’s fist flies at Urie, who ducks –

and stumbles outside.

He finds himself drowning in an ocean of brown fluff and drool. “Help!”

(Last one tonight) Saiko gets the shock of her life when she discovers her maman is a closet otaku (loving the classics, especially the Dragon ball franchise, and a surprising amount of shoujo like Fruits Basket). Cue Maman/Saiko bonding.

“Maman?” Saiko tiptoes into Sasaki’s room.

She came here to talk to him about Urie overworking himself. But all her high-minded ideals are swept away by Sasaki’s bookshelves. Scores of manga line the shelves.

Dragon Ball Z.

Inuyasha.

Gintama.

Ouran High School Host Club.

Fruits Basket.

Saiko screams. She’s in heaven. She feels like Belle from Beauty and the Beast.

“Saiko?” Sasaki scrambled out of bed.

“You – look what you have! How? How did you purchase these?” Saiko yanks out a volume of Ouran. “Arima reminds me of Kyoya.”

Sasaki chuckles. “I see the comparison.”

“Good.” Saiko whistles. “I didn’t know you were an otaku.”

“I, uh, try to keep it secret.” Sasaki blushes. “But, you know, when I do my job, I like to pretend I’m Inuyasha trying to fight a demon.”

“Ooh.” Saiko frowns. “Maybe work will go better for me if I pretend I’m Sango.”

“You should,” Sasaki says. “Now, the most important question: were you rooting for Tohru and Kyo, or Tohru and Yuki?”

“Kyo all the way. He’s such a lovable jerk.”

Sasaki is flabbergasted. “But – but Yuki is so kind!”

“He can be kind to Kyo and Tohru’s children.”

“GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!” wails Sasaki, and both of them burst out laughing.

Accidentally put this in the Submission box because I’m a bit of a tool. Can we see EarlyRE!Haise having nightmares about his past life, and the Quinx Squad hearing and going to comfort him?

Aw, you’re not a tool! You’re awesome!

“Kill me, please!” Haise cries out.

Choose! Choose! Choose!

“Choose my son!” begs the woman.

But how can he let her die?

“Kill me,” Haise wails.

“Sensei?” A voice interrupts Haise. Someone’s shaking him awake, and he feels hands on his wrists, untying him.

Haise leaps from the chair – and realizes he’s sitting up in bed, at the Chateau. There’s no pleading mother and son. There’s no torture.

Mutsuki has his hands on Haise’s shoulders, and Shirazu’s clutching Haise’s hands. Saiko runs up to him and throws her arms around him, and even Urie is there, hanging back in the corner.

“Are you okay, Maman?” Saiko wipes Haise’s tears with her pigtails.

“Really?” Shirazu demands.

“Yes!” she shoots back.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Mutsuki asks, his eyes wide.

Haise shivers. “It felt so real.”

“Horror always feels more real, doesn’t it?” Urie shrugs. “You’re not alone, I guess.”

“I had to choose between killing a mother and their child.” Haise’s eyes fill again. “I just wanted him to take me instead, but he wouldn’t.”

“That’s horrible!” Shirazu gasps. “And way too nice of you. I’d choose the kid.”

“But wanting to sacrifice yourself – you’re so sweet, Maman.” Saiko hugs Haise again. “We’re here. None of us will let you get hurt.”

“I’m not that lucky,” Urie says, with a smirk to assure Haise he’s joking.

“Come on. Go back to sleep. We’ll be here.” Saiko snuggles at his feet, and Shirazu flops by his side.

Mutsuki hesitates.

“It’s okay,” Haise says, and Mutsuki’s face blooms. He settles besides Haise’s other side and holds out an arm to Urie, who joins after a moment.

And though Haise still fears his mind, at least if he dreams again, he can pretend the Quinx are fighting with him.

A normal day off for the original Quinx squad, but the difference is, Urie is walking around in a puffy 50s style black skirt that goes down to just above his knees. Everyone notices how awesome it looks and makes a big deal but to him, it’s just something comfortable that Suzuya suggested :)

“What the hell?” Shirazu goggles at Urie’s puffy skirt.

“That looks comfortable,” says Saiko.

“Wow, Urie.” Mutsuki blushes. Something about Urie transgressing gender boundaries warms his heart.

“Not wearing fabric tight around your legs – it’s surprisingly comfortable.” Urie pirouettes before the Quinx Squad. “Suzuya suggested something useful for once. He’s usually just suggesting candy.”

“That, too, is useful,” says Saiko.

“It is not,” Urie snaps, his sour self once again.

“Urie, what are you wearing?” Sasaki drops the food he’s been cooking.