All of Kaneki’s implied and canon admirers talk about how much they love Kaneki, what they want to do with Kaneki if they got into a relationship with him and what they love about him, what made them fall in love with him: so this includes Roma, Mutsuki, Hajime, Hinami, Touka, Rize, Tsukiyama, Hide, Saiko, Eto, etc (side comment: Boy Neki has himself a hell of a lot of admirers!)

Like how does Ken get and maintain these admirers I’m jealous.

“I’ll go first.” Touka sighs. She can’t believe Urie and Marude’s solution was a group therapy session for all of Kaneki’s admirers.

“Now that he’s recovering in the hospital, you can all work out your problems,” Marude said. What a dumbass.

“I first fell in love when he told me he’d care if I died, even though I was a murderer,” Touka says, a sad smile on her face. “I just want to raise our kid together and give them…the childhood we never had.”

“I fell in love with his scent,” says Tsukiyama. “And convinced myself I wanted to eat him instead of love him. Now I just want him to stay alive.”

“Tsukiyama is a bad example for ghouls,” Hinami says quickly. “I love how Onii-chan taught me to read. That’s why I want happiness for him.”

“He was tasty,” Rize says dreamily, still somewhat dead inside after being held captive for years. “I’d still like to eat him.”

“I like Maman because he always loved us when we were brats,” Saiko says, crossing her arms. “Now I just want to hug him and tell him he’s okay every day.”

“I find him fascinating.” Eto grins. “So much potential. I’d torment him day and night.”

“Potential tragedy. People who try to be good because they hate themselves are my weakness.” Roma giggles. “I love sitting back and watching.”

“This is why you don’t have friends, old maid,” Eto shoots back.

“I like him because he’s what I want to be, only I’ll be better because I won’t betray CCG,” Hajime declares.

Hide shakes his head. “Kid.“

“What?!” Hajime huffs.

“Never mind.” Hide sighs. “You know, I’m not sure. I think I always have, but I haven’t recognized it until it was nearly too late. Now I just want him to be happy.”

“What about you?” Hide turns to Mutsuki, who swallows hard.

“Uh…ummm…I like that he showed me kindness when I was a gross murderer,” Mutsuki whispers.

Saiko coughs. “That’s, uh, close to Touka’s.”

“I know.” Mutsuki stares at the floor.

Touka slides closer to Mutsuki. “Ken’s a great guy.”

Mutsuki smiles, tentatively, at her.

Maybe, Touka thinks, Marude wasn’t such a doofus after all.

would you fuck your clone tg re edition

Re Affiliates

Kaneki Ken – No, my clone makes me sad.

Nagachika Hideyoshi – It’d be fun.

Kamishiro Rize – Yes please.

Kirishima Touka – I’d rather fuck Kaneki.

Koma Enji – Ab-sol-ute-ly!

Irimi Kaya – I’m sorry, did you say something?

Yomo Renji – No way.

Kosaka Yoriko – No?

Hinami Feuguchi – Uh…ummmmmm…

Nishiki Nishio – I’d rather fuck Kimi.

Nishino Kimi – I’d do it for science.

Tsukiyama Family

Tsukiyama Shuu – I’d do it while eating myself.

Karren von Rosewald – If I could pretend it was Master Shuu.

Matsumae – Nah.

Mirumo – 100x yes.

Chie Hori – No.

Clowns

Uta – I’ve already done it. Kagune clone.

Itori – Hell yeah. I’m hot.

Hoito Roma – *giggles* obviously

Nimura Furuta – My answer is a resounding yes.

Rio/Shikorae – ?!

Nico – It’d be so tragic, since you couldn’t be in love with yourself…

Donato Porpora – Technically, that’s not against the Bible…

Aogiri Tree

Kirishima Ayato – I’m gonna decline to answer this

Tatara – What is wrong with you people

Yoshimura Eto – Never say never

Noro – Why am I alive.

Miza Kusakari – Yep.

Naki – Huh?

Yumitsu Tomoe/Hakatori – Probably

Banjou Kazuichi – I’m scared and my answer is no.

CCG

Amon Koutarou – Amon.exe has ceased to function

Takizawa Seidou – No, because I hate myself.

Mado Akira – I’d rather fuck a kakuja ghoul.

Houji Kousuke- Shh don’t tell.

Marude Itsuki – Hell no.

Washuu Yoshitoki – Hell yes.

Washuu Matsuri – No. Give me Urie.

Washuu Tsuneyoshi – Over and over.

Kuriowa Takeomi – Uh – uh – n – no?

Kuriowa Iwao – Nope.

Aura Kiyoko – I’m not even dignifying that with a response.

Tanakamaru Mougan – I wish.

Itou Kuramoto – Tee-hee. Yes.

Kurona Yasuhisa – I used to have a clone. My identical twin. Sometimes I can still hear her voice…

Arima Squad

Ihei Hairu – Probably

Arima Kishou – Did Eto send you to ask this?

Ui Koori – It’s unethical.

Take Hirako – Who can say?

Suzuya Squad

Suzuya Juuzou – Why not?

Keijin Nakarai – I’d rather have someone else interested in me besides me.

Hanbee Abara – Nooooooo.

Miyuki Mikage – OMG YES.

Mizurou Tamaki – Possibly.

Quinx Squad

Yonebayashi Saiko – hahahaha of course.

Shirazu Ginshi – Why the fuck are you asking this?

Urie Kuki – indubitably.

Mutsuki Tooru – I’m grotesque 😦

Hsaio Ching-Li – lol no.

Aura Shinsanpei – That sounds melodramatic, so yes.

Higemaru Touma – lol. lol. lol. uh. Come back later after I’ve thought about it.

What does each kagune user think of their kagune?

Kaneki Ken – I don’t feel human. 😦

Kamishiro Rize – it’s sexy and pretty and, well, goodbye to you.

Kirishima Touka -Pretty proud of my wings. Trying to accept Kimi’s words that I’m beautiful.

Kirishima Ayato – Dang thing doesn’t last enough.

Yomo Renji – Confident in my intimidation skills.

Uta – It’s a work of art.

Itori – Ain’t it sexy?

Nishiki Nishio – This is how I get the girls.

Tsukyama Shuu – Smooth and strong, just like me.

Karren Von Rosewald – It’s pretty useful for retrieving Master Shuu.

Matsumae – I’m a boss and I know it.

Koma Enji – Look how mighty I am!

Kaya Irimi – Bet you weren’t expecting a winged puppy, were ya?

Fueguchi Hinami – Mom, Dad, I will make you proud.

Yoshimura Kuzen – Triggers guilt for Eto.

Yoshimura Eto – Dis fun. Rawr. MISCHIEF MANAGED.

Tatara – Bow down, bitches.

Noro – Keeps him alive.

Yamori – Another torture tool.

Naki – wow!

Miza Kusakari – Feels dangerous, and she likes feeling dangerous.

Hakatori/Yumitsu Tomoe – cool, but using quinques is cooler.

Rio – Knows it’s special, but still hesitant.

Hoito Roma – my kagune is cyuuuuuuuttteeeee

Donato Porpora – it’s murder time.

Nico – pretty, pretty

Furuta Nimura – finally I have one

Takizawa Seidou – I fucking hate it I fucking hate all of this shit

Amon Koutarou – Kagune? What kagune? Me?

Yasuhisa Kurona – I miss Shiro.

Urie Kuki – outta my way, badass coming through.

Mutsuki Tooru – I don’t like this much.

Shirazu Ginshi – Uh, am I doing this right? Am I cool yet?

Saiko Yonebayashi – using for battle is boring. Using to create anime sculptures is priceless.

Higemaru Touma – I mean I like it, do you? Urie, do you like it? Do you?

Aura Shinsanpei – I hope wings don’t make me look silly.

Hsaio Ching-Li – And here’s a WHAM! And a BAM! On your feet, minion!

Washuu Yoshitoki – What are you talking about?

Washuu Matsuri – Urie…will you show me yours if I show you mine?

Hajime Hazuki – I feel so goddamn grown *voice cracks* up

(Edited to add Hajime)

Maybe mutsurie first makeout session that Saiko walks in on?

“Mucchan,” groans Urie. And then he can’t resist calling him that special, sweet name. “Tooru.”

Mutsuki whimpers and digs his tongue deeper into Urie’s mouth, feeling every crevice around his teeth. He likes this boy. He likes his body. “Kuki.”

“I can’t…you’re so amazing.” Urie dives into their kisses.

Mutsuki pushes Urie down onto his couch. He straddles him and wraps his arms tight around him, leaving kiss after kiss on Urie’s lips.

Urie gazes up at him in amazement. He never knew he could feel this joyful.

And it’s all because of Mutsuki Tooru. He treasures him.

Mutsuki kisses him deeply, slowing down their pace to savor every second with Urie. Whoever would have thought they’d wind up here, together? When Urie was a brat and he a scaredy-cat in denial?

The door bangs open. “Hey, you guys are being awfully loud -”

Saiko’s eyes widen.

Urie squeaks, and Mutsuki is dead silent. They stop and stare at her.

“Never mind, then. Carry on. Be safe.” Saiko winks and slides the door shut.

“She’s going to tell everyone,” Mutsuki whispers.

“I don’t mind.” Urie pulls Mutsuki back down.

Mood: Mutsuki’s butt :)

Mutsuki’s butt, eh?

Urie likes Mutsuki’s butt. He thinks of it a wee bit more than he’ll admit.

Kaneki should appreciate Mucchy’s finely sculpted rear end, but he doesn’t because he’s Kaneki and oblivious.

Saiko thinks it’s attractive.

Hsaio has eyed it more than once, but she prefers girls, so Mutsuki’s a no.

Aura feels embarrassed because his is misshapen by comparison.

Higemaru is determined that if he does enough squats, he will get an ass shaped like Mutsuki’s.

I really want the Qs to discover Shirazu’s body in Kanou’s laboratory

You and me both.

“What is this place?” Saiko blinks slowly. She takes in the sterilized slabs, the air so frigid she sees her breath, the smell of cleaning fluids and the scalding blue light above.

“Where is the science?” Hsaio adds with a frown.

“Clearly you all haven’t watched enough police procedurals. Saiko, I’m disappointed.” Higemaru steps forward. With a roll of his eyes, he reaches for a steel drawer and yanks.

Urie swears as legs slowly roll out. A corpse, of course.

Mutsuki says nothing. He’s been quiet since his return to CCG. But Urie can see the perturbations in his eyes.

Aura stiffens suddenly as the body finishes rolling out.

The hair is orange. The face familiar.

Saiko tries to scream, but no sound emerges.

Urie’s blood drains from his face. Higemaru shakes. Mutsuki begins sobbing. And Hsaio rushes forward, because she needs to be closer, close enough to see –

It’s him. Shirazu Ginshi.

“Kanou was going to revive him?” Saiko cries.

“No!” Hsaio shakes her head. “It’s impossible, Saiko.”

“Don’t make the same mistake Ui did,” Urie says.

“But – but – I just want to go back,” Mutsuki protests, moving closer. Aura follows, like a shield.

“We can’t!” Urie yells. “We can’t go back! He’s dead, all of you: He’s dead and gone!”

He hangs his head as Saiko rushes closer. He’s all alone on his side of the room.

When he looks up, Higemaru has glided to his side.

“It’s okay to be upset.”

Urie swears again, but allows his subordinate to pat his shoulder.

What if Shirazu survived and became best pals with higemaru

You mean this isn’t canon?! :O

“All right!” Urie stumbles out of his room, soaking wet from the bucket that just fell from his doorframe. “Which one of you was it? Which one?!”

Higemaru and Shirazu blink innocently.

“I would never hurt you, Squad Leader,” says Higemaru.

“We just want to support you,” adds Shirazu.

“Like hell you do!” Urie splutters. “It’s cold!”

“Aw.” Higemaru wraps an arm around Urie. “Here’s a warm hug from a friend.”

“Saiko! Mutsuki! Someone!” Urie fumes.

“What?” Mutsuki appears and tries not to laugh at the sight of a sopping wet Urie.

“Looks like the mischief twins struck again,” Saiko says sweetly. Hsaio smirks.

“I’m cold.”

“Let Mutsuki warm you,” Aura grumbles, shuffling out of his room.

Urie gasps.

“Sorry, Urie. We won’t do that again,” Shirazu assures him.

“We’ll think of something else, right?” Higemaru grins at Shirazu.

“Absolutely, pal.” Shirazu holds up his hand, and Higa slaps him high-five.

“I can’t handle you two.” Urie bolts into the bathroom, shaking his head.

Haise makes thanksgiving dinner for the Quinx

“I think I burned the corn.” Saiko stares at the black-tinged pellets in the bowl.

“It’s okay,” Sasaki assures her.

“All right! I’m so excited!” Shirazu zooms into the dining room.

“Me too.” Mutsuki giggles nervously as he folds each napkin. They’re using fine silverware for this American holiday.

“Humbug.” Urie rolls his eyes.

“Not the right holiday,” Shirazu sings.

“Shut it.” But ever Urie has to admit, the turkey and that cranberry jelly look scrumptious.

“To start, I think we are supposed to say what we’re thankful for,” says Sasaki, taking his place at the head of the table.

“I’m thankful for food!” Shirazu announces, drooling at the biscuits laid before him.

“I’m thankful for Sasaki preparing all of this,” Mutsuki says softly.

“I’m thankful we can eat human food,” Saiko says.

And now it’s Urie’s turn.

“I’m thankful to work at CCG and have a chance to make a difference in the world.”

Saiko rolls her eyes, Shirazu grins, and Mutsuki nudges Urie with his foot. He smiles.

Sasaki clears his throat. “I’m thankful for all of you.”

When the ghouls unmask themselves Urie recognizes Touka as the girl from the photos in mutsukis room. He understands he doesn’t have all the pieces to the puzzle but remains way of her and tells the others to be as well. Until everything clicks into place.

The girl – the cute girl who called CCG on its bullshit – is Touka Kirishima. Urie frowns. She’s the reason Bujin was in jail. She’s the reason Mucchan is crazy.

“Be careful,” Urie says in Saiko’s ear.

“Why?” she asks, all too loudly.

“That’s Kirishima!” he hisses.

Saiko’s eyes widen. She knew she loved this ghoul.

Urie rolls his eyes. For fuck’s sake.

Higemaru and Hsaio, however, appear to listen to him. Thankfully.

“You know Yoriko!” Saiko calls then, and Urie groans. Too late.

Touka hesitates. Sorrow crosses her face, and even Urie has to admit, she clearly loves Yoriko.

“She escaped,” Itou whispers. “With Takeomi.”

“How do you know?” Urie pauses. “Wait. Never mind. Forget I asked.”

Touka cocks her eyebrow. “Urie and Saiko, I presume?”

“How do you know?” Urie barks.

“She knows Maman, silly.” Saiko throws her arms around Touka. “I’m so glad you came to help!”

Touka laughs nervously.

“He literally betrayed all of us, Saiko,” Urie reminds her.

“He didn’t want to – it’s a long story we’ll tell someday,” Touka insists.

“Really?” Saiko clings to her. She likes this ghoul. The manager from Re. Yoriko’s BFF.

She sniffs Touka. “Huh.”

Touka turns red as Nishiki grins.

“You smell like Maman.”

Urie coughs.

Mutsuki loved Sasaki.

She smells like Sasaki.

Sasaki told her who he was.

She’s cute.

“OH MY GOD!” Urie screams.

“Shut up!” Touka yells back.

Saiko x male reader fluff?

“Hey, you.” You turn from your books to see Saiko sticking out her chest, and you know precisely what’s coming.

“Are you trying to seduce me?” You ask dryly.

“No.” Her shoulders slump. “I’m actually trying to get you to take me out for ice cream.”

You burst out laughing. Of course. Of course. “Sure, Saiko.”

“Excellent,” she purrs. “Also, have you read the latest manga chapter?”

“No. Don’t spoil it!”

Saiko pouts, but agrees to let you discover the glorious angst on your own. She skips excitedly beside you as you walk to the ice cream store.

You order vanilla, and she shakes her head at how boring you are. But you grin, because you know she loves you for your simplicity.

She orders green tea ice cream with all the toppings, and you have to admit, you’re curious how they would taste together. Fortunately, Saiko is always willing to share.

She sticks her finger in the green remnants of her cup and wipes it on your nose.

“Hey!” You protest.

“You look cute with a green nose.” Saiko grins, and you make a mental note to bribe Higemaru to draw on her face while she sleeps later. She’ll retaliate, and you will absolutely lose this war, but for now, you enjoy provoking mischief with your favorite partner in crime.