Everytime Hsiao walks into a room, the rest of the Quinx can’t help but slip compliments about her thighs and hips into every sentence. To which she never notices.

“Hello Hsaio.” Saiko’s eyes are wide as Hsaio strides into the kitchen one morning. “You look beautiful this morning – I mean how could you not, with those legs.”

“Thanks!” Hsaio says brightly.

“Hsaio where can I get nylons like yours?” Higemaru waves his hands. “Or legs, for that matter.”

“Why do you want nylons?”

“Aura and I want to see who looks better in them.” Higemaru crosses his arms. “Hsaio will win, of course.”

“Higemau is crazy,” Aura begins. “And God dammit your hips are better shaped than my aunt’s.”

“Aura, you’re a little obsessed with Kiyoko,” Hsaio says. “It’s uncomfortable.”

“Uncomfortable like I feel with her legs,” Saiko whispers to Urie, who flushes.

“I’m sure Mutsuki’s legs are better,” he grumbles. Although it’s hard to have sexier legs than Hsaio Ching-Li.

“What are we all standing around for?” Mutsuki enters. “Hot damn Hsaio could turn me straight.”

“Saiko, do you have the coffee ready?” Hsaio smiles. “We have to get going or we’ll be late.”

Because to Hsaio, the only sexy legs worth talking about are Saiko’s.

Urie has a little sister (who is gorgeous and is very clever) who is just joining the CCG and becoming a quinx like her brother. She gets a different rc type, and is surprisingly fast at learning how to use it. He dislikes her because she remembers very little of their father but is also (he thinks) the reason their mother died during childbirth (bc we don’t know much about her). Feel free to do more with her! (I like the idea Kuki having a baby sister who looks like him)

Urie Sumire is exactly the type of girl Saiko likes. Full-figured, athletic, short, and smart. Someone to help Saiko bear the female burden among a bunch of testosterone-driven fools.

“I’m an ukaku, just like you!” Sumire beams at Shirazu, who wipes his nose to ensure he’s not bleeding.

“N-n-nice to meet you.”

“Mutsuki, you’re so handsome.” Sumire hugs Mucchan, and Urie Kuki’s eyes flash.

You might have taken Mom, but you’re not taking Mucchan from me, he vows.

He really doesn’t know much about Sumire. He’s ignored her for much of their lives. But now he won’t be able to ignore her anymore, and he’s unsure how he feels about this.

“We should practice using our ukakus,” Shirazu squeaks.

“Yes!” Sumire nods. They scamper off, and Saiko winks at Urie.

She’s going to get a promotion before me, isn’t she? Urie scowls. “Mutsuki, help me practice with my koukaku.”

“But I don’t have a koukaku…”

“No matter! I have to get promoted first,” Urie begs.

Saiko and Mutsuki exchange glances.

“What?” Urie demands.

They burst out laughing.

The quinx squad tries to force Shirazu and Urie to get along without arguing/fighting

“This is a fucking joke, right?” Urie is too horrified to move.

“Nope,” says Sasaki. Mado and Arima stand behind him, arms crossed like they mean business.

“No!” wails Shirazu.

“Keep in mind, you had chances to avoid this.” Akira steps closer, and Saiko presses her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.

Urie shoots her a murderous glare. She squeaks and hides behind Mutsuki. “There’s no way. No fucking way.”

Takeomi will see me.

“Well, there’s no way you’ll ever do anything from desk work from now on,” says Sasaki sweetly. “Unless.”

He waves the monstrosity in his hands about. A giant shirt reading This is Our Get Along Shirt.

“I thought that existed only in memes,” Shirazu wails.

“Not anymore.” Sasaki waves the two doomed Quinx forward.

It’s tight and awkward. Urie can’t believe he’s going to spend the rest of today chained by cotton to this mouth-breather.

Saiko doubles over laughing, no longer afraid of either of them. “And here you all thought I was the problem!”

“That reminds me,” says Sasaki. He snaps his fingers.

Akira holds out a This is Our Hard Work Shirt, and Arima waves a This is Our Face Our Fear Shirt.

“You’ll each be paired with Akira and Arima, respectively. It was only fair,” says Sasaki.

Urie confessing to mutsuki during the fight ((give us need more feels for chapter 154 oh lord))

BUT THERE IS ALREADY SO MANY FEELS.

(MOST OF THEM INVOLVE SCREAMING).

Mutsuki spreads his lips in a wide grin. “I couldn’t care less if you died, Urie-kun.”

Urie stiffens. Saiko sees the blood drain from his cheeks as Mutsuki’s bikaku grows and grows.

“Oh yeah?” she calls out. “Then why’re you calling him Urie-kun? Weren’t we your family too, Mutsuki? Aren’t we still?!”

Mutsuki swings at her, and she dodges. “All you boys! You suck! You don’t have to be all cold and strong!”

Mutsuki hesitates. She called me a boy.

Saiko glares at Urie. “Say something, dummy.”

“Well – well I would care if you died, Mutsuki!” Urie blusters.

Saiko tries not to roll her eyes.

Urie can see Mutsuki’s kagune beginning to overtake his body. He framed out, too, didn’t he? “Don’t freak out, Saiko.”

“Excuse the fuck me?” Saiko stumbles back as Mutsuki slaps her back to the surface of the giant goddamn worm they’re fighting on.

Urie unleashes his own kagune. This is my only chance. He feels his tongue grow as both kakugans light. “Tooru! You’re not alone! I LOVE YOU!”

Mutsuki stumbles, his mouth falling open. Saiko beams at Urie.

Urie feels tears running down his full-ghoul face. “Tooru…” He falls to his knees. “And I’m so sorry I failed you. Over and over. And I was mean to you. But I love you, I swear it, Tooru.”

“No one can love me!” screams Mutsuki, clapping his hands over his ears as two kakugans emerge in his eyes. “I am grotesque! I – all I do is kill!”

“You saved me!” Urie yells back.

“You protected me from Shirazu and Urie,” Saiko adds.

Mutsuki’s lips tremble. “You don’t know what I’ve done.”

“It won’t change how we feel,” Urie pleads.

“There’s a way forward. With us. Especially Urie-kun,” Saiko says, stepping forward and holding forth her hand.

Mutsuki hesitates, but he doesn’t try to fight her.

“You two suck.” Saiko uses her kagune fists to drag Urie over to Mutsuki. “There. Now, it’s hug time.”

“I don’t think -” Mutsuki begins.

Urie throws his arms around Mutsuki. His cheeks are still wet.

Mutsuki jumps. “Urie, are you actually crying?”

crack head canon: before the quinx met their mentor. classmates were telling them all the rumors surrounding him. (like he is from chochela, he is insane, he is a murderer, etc.) and they are get a picture of who their mentor is gonna be in their heads and then they meet the cheerful haise ‘i cry at the sad dog commercials’ sasaki

“I hear he’s insane,” says Shirazu with a lazy grin.

“I hear he’s a ghoul, so I don’t give a damn,” Urie grunts. He leans back against the wall, crossing his arms.

“I’m sure they wouldn’t let a murderer lead us,” says Mutsuki, biting his lip. Yeah, and they wouldn’t let a murderer be a Quinx, right?

Saiko yawns. “I don’t care. If he’s a feral killer ghoul, at least he’s interesting that way.”

“I hate you,” Urie says.

“We know,” Shirazu replies.

Mutsuki covers his ears, and Urie rolls his eyes.

Someone raps firmly on the conference room door.

“Come in!” Shirazu forces a grin.

Washuu Yoshitoki enters, followed by a young man with black and white hair. The man is wiping his eyes. “I’m sorry for my disarray. Mado just showed me the saddest puppy commercial.”

Shirazu’s mouth falls open.

Saiko feels disappointed.

“Anyhow, I’m Sasaki Haise. Your new mentor!” Sasaki holds out his hand to Mutsuki with a smile. “You’re Mutsuki Tooru, right?”

Mutsuki nods, dumbfounded. Sasaki is normal! Sasaki likes him!

“And you’re Shirazu Ginshi?”

“Y-yes. Such a pleasure to meet you,” Shirazu stammers.

“I’m Yonebayashi Saiko. Otherwise known as “the girl,” I’m sure.” Saiko smirks and flutters her fingers towards Sasaki. He blushes. What a cinnamon roll.

“And you must be Urie Kuki.”

Urie says nothing, but his eyes remain narrowed at Sasaki. Whatever you’re hiding, you disgustingly cheerful bucket, I’m gonna find it.

HIGE SHIPPING HSIAO AND SAIKO

HE WOULD.

Higemaru Touma knows Hsaio Ching-Li quite well. Which is why he’s fairly certain he knows what’s up when, instead of returning to her usual nightly workout routine, Hsaio agrees to watch a movie with Saiko.

“Hsaio, can I talk to you?” he says lightly.

She nods. “Sure. I’ll be there in a minute, Saiko.”

“Okay!” Saiko skips back up the stairs.

“What’s up?” Hsaio crosses her arms.

“Youuuuu have a crushhhhh,” Higemaru sings softly.

“I do not!” Hsaio swats him on the shoulder.

“You do. I can see it.” Higemaru grins. “I think it’s adorable. I ship it. We’ll call it Hsaiko.”

Hsaio stares at him, open-mouthed. “You wouldn’t dare tell her.”

“No, that’s for you.” Higemaru giggles. “I am so excited. This is the most fun since Urie talked to Mutsuki at the wedding.”

“You set that up? That didn’t go so well.” Hsaio glares at him.

“Well, this will go better. Now head upstairs and have fu with your lady love,” Higemaru sings again.

“I’m gonna smash your face,” Hsaio warns.

“Nah, just Saiko’s?” Higemaru ducks before Hsaio can punch him. “Okay, okay, I deserved that.”

Hsiao and Saiko doing something (idk pick something) and Saiko is being herself and suddenly Hsiao can’t handle all the cute

Aieeee more Saiko/Hsaio!!! (Someone pick a ship name please – Hsaiko, maybe?).

“Hsaio, we have tonight off. Watch anime with me,” begs Saiko.

Hsaio nods, trying to control her excitement. “I’d love to!”

Saiko drags Hsaio into her room and immediately rummages under her mattress. “I’ve hidden all my cookies and candy here. Chips are in the closet so they don’t get crushed.”

Hsaio’s mouth falls open. “You’re a genius.”

“A hungry one.” Saiko tosses an Oreo towards Hsaio. “Catch an Urie Kuki.”

“Delicious.” Hsaio bites into it. “Mmmmm. What anime do you want to watch?”

“Fullmetal Alchemist. You remind me of Long Fan.” Saiko smiles.

“I do?” Hsaio brightens. “You think of me?”

“Of course, silly. You’re my cutest friend.” Saiko readies her computer. She drags a sea of pillows behind her and pats the bed beside her. “Come sit.”

Hsaio leaps into the pile of blankets. “Ooh, so comfortable.”

“I’m comfortable with you!” Saiko teases.

Hsaio claps her hands to her cheeks. “AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! Saiko, you’re so adorable!”

Saiko is a genius, a food hoarder, and thinks of Hsaio as an anime hero. Hsaio loves this cute girl. She tackles her in a hug that Saiko gladly returns before shoving another Oreo in Hsaio’s mouth.

What the TG characters want for Christmas

I’ve sorted the characters according to their introductory affiliation.

Anteiku/Re Affiliates

Kaneki Ken – to be safe

Nagachika Hideyoshi – to see Kaneki again

Yoshimura Kuzen – Eto’s forgiveness

Kamishiro Rize – freedom and food

Kirishima Touka – Kaneki to be free of the worm

Koma Enji – to be alive

Irimi Kaya – a puppy

Yomo Renji – His niece and nephew safe

Kosaka Yoriko – To see Touka again

Hinami Feuguchi – for everyone she loves to be happy

Nishiki Nishio – to kiss Kimi

Nishino Kimi – a world where ghouls and humans live in harmony

Tsukiyama Family

Tsukiyama Shuu – A taste of Kaneki

Karren von Rosewald – Tsukiyama’s love

Matsumae – the family’s safety

Mirumo – his son’s happiness

Chie Hori – another camera

Clowns

Uta – eyeball snacks. Maybe a kiss from Yomo.

Itori – blood wine!

Hoito Roma – to belong

Nimura Furuta – his father’s approval

Rio/Shikorae – his brother

Nico – makeup

Donato Porpora – a reunion with Amon

Aogiri Tree

Kirishima Ayato – Hinami’s coffee. Maybe Hinami.

Yamori – kagune pliers

Tatara – Houji’s head, but really his siblings back

Yoshimura Eto – the world’s obedience

Noro – life

Miza Kusakari – nothing bad to happen anymore

Naki – to see Yamori again

Hakatori – a new quinque

Banjou Kazuichi – a hug

CCG

Amon Koutarou – to be a good person

Takizawa Seidou – to be human again

Mado Akira – internal peace

Houji Kousuke – a break from murder investigators

Mado Kureo – to kill the one-eyed owl and make their kagune into his quinque

Marude Itsuki – assurance that Yoshitoki was actually his friend

Washuu Yoshitoki – a vacation

Washuu Matsuri – Urie

Washuu Tsuneyoshi – nothing good.

Kuriowa Takeomi – Yoriko’s cooking

Kuriowa Iwao – his son’s happiness

Aura Kiyoko – Aura to calm down

Tanakamaru Mougan – hairspray

Shinohara Yukinori – to see his family again

Itou Kuramoto – a practical joke book

Kurona Yasuhisa – Shiro

Hajime Hazuki – to be a renowned badass

Mayazumi – eyebrow liner

Arima Squad

Ihei Hairu – Arima’s smile

Arima Kishou – atonement

Ui Koori – Hairu resurrected

Take Hirako – Shio and Rikai’s resurrection

Arima Yusa – a peaceful world

Ihei Shio – a pet reindeer

Souza Rikai – flowers

Suzuya Squad

Suzuya Juuzou – Mr. Shinohara to awaken

Keijin Nakarai – recognition

Hanbee Abara – to marry Suzuya

Miyuki Mikage – an alien encounter

Mizurou Tamaki – a girlfriend

Quinx Squad

Yonebayashi Saiko – no one dying anymore

Shirazu Ginshi – Haru’s healing

Urie Kuki – Mutsuki’s safety

Mutsuki Tooru – to be safe and happy

Hsaio Ching-Li – Saiko’s affection

Aura Shinsanpei – Kaneki’s head, or his aunt’s approval

Higemaru Touma – to save the world

Urie confessing to Saiko that he’s in love with Mutsuki please

“You seem depressed,” Saiko says one night.

“I mean, have you looked at what the CCG has become?” Urie admits. “Didn’t you just yell at me for this last night?”

“Yup, but now you seem even more sad.” Saiko crosses her arms. “What’s up?”

Urie heaves a sigh.

“Does it have to do with Mucchy?” Saiko eyes him. She’s not as unobservant as she appears.

Urie colors. “No.”

“Riiiiiiight.” Saiko pinches Urie’s cheek.

He recoils. “Don’t touch my face!”

“Then don’t lie!” Saiko plops down besides him. “Talk to me.”

“It’s silly, really.”

“Define ‘silly.’”

“I mean…I miss Mutsuki, that’s all.” Urie avoids Saiko’s eyes.

“Why?” Saiko scowls. “You don’t…you do, don’t you?”

“I – no!” Urie shrieks.

“You do! You love Mutsuki!” Saiko leaps to her feet and shakes him. “You love Mutsuki, you do, you do! Urie and Mutsuki, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-”

“Shut up!” Urie begs. “Please. I just…he loves Sasaki and it’s killing him and breaking my heart.”

“Aw, you do have one.” Saiko crosses her arms. She’s unfazed by Mutsuki’s feelings for Sasaki. They were obvious.

“I’m in love with Mutsuki and I don’t know what to do.” Urie buries his head in his hands. “Dear god.”

“Well…’ Saiko smirks. “Looks like we need to dredge up a plan.”

Touka and Mutsuki fight after 152 and then both decide to shoot for a peaceful solution. Mutsuki decides he doesn’t care if Kaneki loves someone else as long as he can also be loved by him. He helps Touka and Hide and everyone get Kaneki out of Dragon with Touka and Kaneki and the others all move into the Chateau with the rest of the Quinx. Mutsuki gets the pure genuine love he always wanted from his Sensei and Touka and the others watch on while smiling

Can this, like, happen?

“Why do you think love is so cheap?” Touka fires Rc shards into Mutsuki’s arm. God dammit, she knows Ken loves this kid, but if he ain’t testing her patience now. “What, you think if Kaneki loves me he can’t love you? Love isn’t a math game, Eyepatch! Kaneki left you because he was afraid of you! And he was afraid because he loved you all! It had nothing to do with me!”

“Then why didn’t he come back?!” Mutsuki screams.

“Because Kaneki wants to hide when he feels like he’s done something wrong – like leaving you!” Touka yells back.

Mutsuki hesitates. He wants to hide. He’s very good at hiding.

“Mucchan!” shrieks a voice. Touka whirls around to see the rest of the Quinx. The screaming one is the blue-haired girl, the first one to agree to work with ghouls. Saiko, if Touka recalls Kaneki’s descriptions correctly.

“What?” sobs Mutsuki. “Go away! She – stole him!” He points wildly at Touka.

Aura appears. “And we’re going to finish this.”

“Oh my god, really,” Higemaru mutters.

“No, Mutsuki. Sasaki – Kaneki – Maman, if you will – he left us because he was too cowardly to face us. Just like you, leaving us for the Oggai, right? Because you don’t want to admit you have problems?” Urie steps forward, tears in his eyes. “Just like me, ignoring all of you at the start? And you – you were the one who hugged me at my lowest. And kept me from damaging myself more. Now I’m returning the favor.”

Urie steps forward and wraps his arms around Mutsuki. “It’s awful being alone. You do it, I do it, Sasaki does it, Saiko does it, Hsaio is part ghoul so we’ll say she does it too, Aura clearly does it.”

“What about me?” demands Higemaru.

“You’re the balm to the rest of us,” Urie tells him. Higa brightens and prances over to Aura. He hugs him, and Hsaio joins in.

Aura looks like he’s never been hugged before.

Saiko rushes over to join Urie and Mutsuki. Touka and a recovering Miza tiptoe closer.

“Is this where Maman is?” Saiko whispers to Touka.

She nods.

Saiko fastens her kagune into a drill and stabs into the flesh of the giant worm.

Touka gasps as Saiko rips forth a bloodied Kaneki with ease. His arms are no longer scaled. He looks whole.

“Ken!” she cries. She and all of the Quinx rush forward as Saiko lays him down atop the kagune.

“He’s unconscious,” says Miza.

Kaneki, however, cracks open one eye. He sees Mutsuki – Touka – Urie – Saiko – Miza and the new quinx, all standing there.

“Family,” he mumbles before losing consciousness.

Mutsuki bawls and Touka hugs him. For Kaneki’s sake, she’ll forgive this poor kid.

Three months later

Mutsuki opens the door to the Chateau. “After you.”

“Thanks,” says Touka, stepping inside to see all of the Quinx, Hide, and her husband gathered in their living room. Aura still sulks in a corner, but he’s inching closer to the rest of them day by day.

“Well? What did the doctor say?” Kaneki wasn’t able to accompany Touka to her ultrasound this morning, because he’s still under house arrest at the Chateau.

Mutsuki exchanges a smile with Touka.

“It’s a girl,” Touka blurts out.

Saiko shrieks, Higemaru cheers, and Mutsuki claps. Kaneki stumbles forward to wrap his arms around Touka. “Another girl in our family.”