The Quinx go to a club and drink a wee bit too much.

Dis fun.

Alternate Universe where Shirazu is totally 100% alive.

“Alrighty, everyone. Let’s go.”

“Go where?” Mutsuki looks up in surprise.

“Da club.” Shirazu’s hands are wrapped around Urie, and Saiko appears on Mutsuki’s left, Hsaio on his right.

“Uh.”

Aura is dragged forward by Higemaru. “We’ve been played,” he grumbles. 

And so all seven Quinxes find themselves in a club with music so loud Mutsuki can feel it in his teeth.

The solution, as Higemaru assures him, is to drink.

Mutsuki then finds himself crying and babbling on about how inadequate he feels. He leans on Urie, who meanwhile has been drinking to muster the courage to confront Mutsuki. Or just survive the chaotic club atmosphere. 

“You’re so handsome,” he finally manages to slur, and then Higemaru interrupts by dragging them both onto the dance floor.

Saiko pouts as Shirazu and Aura begin grinding on each other. “Men are dumb.”

“You’re not.” Hsaio drops her glass onto the floor. It shatters into what she finds a pretty pattern.

“I’m not a man.” Saiko thrusts out her chest. 

“Neither am I.” Hsaio grins. “I’ve always wanted boobs like yours.”

“They hurt my back.”

“Can I touch them? Are they squishy?” 

When Haise Sasaki arrives per a concerning call from Higemaru, he finds Hsaio and Saiko feeling each other up at the bar. 

Urie is vomiting in a bathroom urinal as Mutsuki pats his head. 

On the dance floor, Shirazu and Higemaru play patty-cake over Aura’s unconscious body. 

He sends an image to Arima. Ui was right. We’re unethical. I quit.

Don’t leave me with this, Arima texts back. I’d rather be with ghouls. 

Finally, Akira responds to them both. If you ever send me these images again, dear child, I’m sterilizing myself. 

But consider all of the cast with lightsabers.

Oh my word

I’ve sorted the characters according to their introductory affiliation.

Anteiku/Re Affiliates

Kaneki Ken – After inheriting a very special bright red/Darth Maul two-sided saber from the fallen Rize Kamishiro, he finds himself hunted by the Dark Side.

Nagachika Hideyoshi – His is light blue, like Luke’s. 

Yoshimura Kuzen – He’s long retired his purple lightsaber, except when he brings it out to clean up after his daughter, Darth Owl. It used to be his lover Ukina’s, from whom he learned how to wield it. 

Kamishiro Rize – She was exceptionally skilled with her two-sided saber, but is currently saber-less. 

Kirishima Touka – Hers is dark blue and she wields it well. 

Koma Enji – Green.  

Irimi Kaya – Green. This is why she and Koma first fought in the 20th ward, before Yoshimura convinced them there was room for two green sabers.

Yomo Renji – Darksaber all the way.

Kosaka Yoriko – Yellow-green, but she would rather not use it. 

Hinami Feuguchi – Yellow, two-sided, and she possesses uncanny skill. 

Nishiki Nishio – green and cracked. 

Nishino Kimi – green (this is how she met Nishiki). He then cracked her crystal by accident, and learned the power of love by her forgiveness. 

Tsukiyama Family

Tsukiyama Shuu – the gourmet’s is indigo to match his hair, and he adores it to the point that he talks to it. Still, he pines after Kaneki’s two-sided saber.

Karren von Rosewald – Servants weren’t supposed to have sabers, but Shuu bought her a rose pink one for her birthday one year. She’s loved him ever since.

Matsumae – the family bodyguard possesses a darksaber. It still thrills her every time she lights it.

Mirumo – passed down the indigo saber to Shuu.

Chie Hori – her tiny green saber was so delectable she and Shuu had to be friends.

Clowns

Uta – Darksaber, but with a cracked crystal. He and Yomo used to make a fierce darksaber team. 

Itori – Hers is bright pink but rarely used, unless you’re counting when she gets drunk and waves it about Helter Skelter pretending she’s a Samurai. 

Hoito Roma – She seemed to have an ordinary red saber. Instead she literally has a four-sided saber she uses for utter destruction. 

Nimura Furuta – he started the series by pushing pipes onto Rize so he could steal her lightsaber, but now that Kaneki has inherited it, he hired Kanou to make a duplicate. Someday, though, he will get the real one. 

Rio/Shikorae – is not trusted with one. Probably for the best.

Nico – pink but cracked. 

Donato Porpora – Purple, cracked.

Aogiri Tree

Kirishima Ayato – dark blue, just like Touka. *pouts*

Yamori – Sabers cauterize wounds. That’s boring. 

Tatara – Green – half of a two sided saber. 

Yoshimura Eto – Darth Owl has a fierce purple lightsaber and exceptional skill.

Noro – Darksaber. 

CCG

Amon Koutarou – Blue-white and pure. 

Takizawa Seidou – blue, but he cracked the crystal while insisting he could make his own.

Mado Akira – green. She made her own, nice and neat. 

Houji Kousuke- the second half of Tatara’s green saber is his. This is the root of their enmity. 

Mado Kureo – His fascination with lightsabers has lead him to have a collection of every color, plus every cracked version. He was missing a green one before Akira made hers. 

Marude Itsuki – It used to be yellow. Inspired by Yoshitoki, he also decorated the label. It did not turn out well, but thankfully, Juuzou Suzuya wrecked it. 

Washuu Yoshitoki – yellow. He’s decorated the label. 

Washuu Matsuri – spent half his childhood (literally half) whining for one. Now he has a yellow one and isn’t not as exciting as he hoped. 

Washuu Tsuneyoshi – He wishes it was purple, but alas, his is yellow. 

Kuriowa Takeomi – He got so good at beating ghouls up with his hands his dad was reluctant to hand down their family’s white saber. 

Kuriowa Iwao – He used to have a white saber. Now he has an orange one, because he gave the white one to Takeomi.

Aura Kiyoko – Blue and damn does she use it well.

Tanakamaru Mougan – Pink. He loves the color. 

Shinohara Yukinori – Green, “the color of life,” he used to remind Suzuya.

Hajime Hazuki – white. Someone take it away from him.

Arima Squad

Ihei Hairu – hers is lemon-colored, and she’s nicknamed it “Sunlight.”

Arima Kishou – His is ordinary light blue. But he can beat even the most powerful sabers with his technique. 

Ui Koori – His is green. Sometimes Hairu tells him they’re lemons and limes, and he enjoys this.

Take Hirako – he ordered light blue to match Arima. 

Ihei Shio – Pink. He and Yusa swapped colors. 

Arima Yusa – white. He didn’t care for the color, but Shio really wanted pink.

Souza Rikai – purple, which she’s very proud of. 

Suzuya Squad

Suzuya Juuzou – green and two-sided. He insisted on green to honor Shinohara. 

Keijin Nakarai – Yellow to match his hair.

Hanbee Abara – Darksaber. He feels silly with it.

Miyuki Mikage – Green, like his boss. 

Mizurou Tamaki – Orange

Quinx Squad

Yonebayashi Saiko – light blue, and she enjoys wielding it, because then she gets to pretend she’s someone from Feudal times. 

Shirazu Ginshi – orange, cracked, and he loved it for its imperfections. 

Urie Kuki – purple, but cracked, and the crack is growing bigger.

Mutsuki Tooru – green, and he’s determined to become as skilled as Kaneki. 

Hsaio Ching-Li – dark saber. Beware her skill.

Aura Shinsanpei – his is dark blue, and he’s either way too fierce or too timid with it. There is no middle ground.

Higemaru Touma – pink, and he likes to light it up for no reason other than he enjoys the sound. 

Hsiao cooks for Saiko, but the other Quinx at the Chateau involve themselves uninvited. Urie pines for Mutsuki while Hsiao pines for Saiko.

Hsaio crawls out of bed reckoning she should have just stayed up. All the Quinx will be up before dawn, and she needs to be ready.

She heard Saiko crying about Mamman last night, and since Hsaio isn’t good with words, she wants to comfort Saiko with actions. Actions that result in food, to be exact. 

On her laptop are recipes for green tea bread and chocolate chip pancakes. Saiko likes sweets, even though Urie frowns on them. 

Hsaio rummages through their kitchen cabinets, hoping no one wakes up. She’s not a good cook, because she’d rather spend her patience on the field than in the kitchen, but she can be anything for Saiko. 

“Mmm? Hsaio?” Tooru Mutsuki trudges into the kitchen, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. “Everything okay?”

“Oh!” Hsaio’s cheeks turn pink. “Saiko was sad last night, so I wanted to cheer her up. With food.”

Mutsuki smiles. “That’s a good way to cheer her up.” He comes over to study the recipes on her laptop. “Want help?”

Hsaio brightens. “Yes, please!”

She appreciates Mutsuki. She never fit in with the other Garden kids – she was too quiet and liked the girls instead of the guys. Liked like she likes Saiko. Like Urie likes Mutsuki.

“Hey.” Hsaio has an idea. “Get Urie down here. Maybe we’ll sneak sugar into that boy yet.”

“He’s sweet once you get to know him,” Mutsuki murmurs, as if he’s not even aware of Urie’s feelings. But he’s pulling out his phone and calling Urie upstairs, so Hsaio has hope for them yet.

“What’s going on?” Urie barrels into the kitchen, dragging a tousled Aura and boxers-only Higemaru. “Where’s Saiko?!”

“Uh. We’re cooking to make Saiko happy.” Mutsuki shoves a bowl at Aura. “Get to it.”

Hsaio sighs. “Well, I guess we’re all helping now.”

“Higa. Put some clothes on.” Urie turns bright red.

He makes sure to stand right next to Mucchan, who’s carefully sifting flour. When Mutsuki smiles at him, all he wants is to kiss him.

——————————————————————————————-

Saiko awakens to the delicous aroma of baked goods wafting in her nose. Has Christmas come early?

She scrambles downstairs in her warm pajamas, afraid she’d forgot a meeting.

“Happy Saiko Day!” cheer the Quinx from the kitchen.

“Huh?”

“We love you and wanted to make you feel appreciated.” Hsaio’s face is scarlet. Those words hit too close to home.

Saiko throws her arms around Aura. She works her way down the line of Quinxes before she leaves a kiss on Hsaio’s cheek. “Thank you. I love you, too.” 

Shirazu is tormented by thoughts of his family so Saiko takes him out to cheer him up. Shiraiko feels appreciated (dead ship? nah. ghost ship.)

Gimme all the Shiraiko; it’s undead just like he will be hahahahaha sob

Saiko can tell that Shirazu is having one of those evenings.

The evenings where he paces around in his room, shows zero interest in Urie’s workouts, and if she listens really intently at his door, she can hear him cry and whisper prayers to every God he’s heard of. 

This calls for a Saiko-intervention. At the very least, she can cheer him with her tits. 

Saiko pushes open the door. “Shiragin?”

“Wh-what?” He stumbles to his feet, pretending he wasn’t just clicking through photos of his dying sister and crying.

“Your eyes are red,” she tells him, puffing up her chest. “C’mon. Let’s blow this joint.”

“I don’t smoke.” He looks horribly offended.

Saiko rolls her eyes. “It’s an expression, Shiragin! Let’s get out of this house for a bit.”

She grabs his hand and pulls him past Haise’s room, where Sensei is undoubtedly reading, downstairs, past Mutsuki counting Urie’s sit-ups and out the door. “We’re getting ice cream!”

“Did you see anything?” Shirazu asks quietly as she drags them into a store. He knows it’s futile to suggest that fatty ice cream will hinder their efforts.

“No, I didn’t see you crying.” 

“Saiko!”

“Hold on.” Saiko digs out a full pint of chocolate and pays for it. “Let’s go to the park.”

“And eat the whole thing?” He goggles at her.

“Don’t tell Urie. It’s what girls do when they’re upset, and I think we’re better for it.” She plops down on the grass and holds out a spoon. She doesn’t even have the dignity to sit on a bench. 

Shirazu gingerly takes the spoon and settles besides her.

“You know it’s okay to show your softer emotions, too? Silly man.” Saiko taps his nose, smearing chocolate on it.

“I’m scared,” he admits.

“Me too.” She leans her head on his shoulder. “Guess that’s why we got each other, then.” 

Scenario where Tokage tells Urie and the other Quinx (possibly including Shirazu?) about Mutsuki’s past misdeeds. Possibly in front of the rest of the CCG like the monster he is.

OH MY GOD THE ANGST I LOVE IT.

this takes place in an alternative universe where Shirazu never died, sometime after Rushima, but before the Clown Raid. 

“You’re promoting this monster?” Tokage stretched out a hand to brush back Mutsuki’s hair. The quivering boy slapped him away, but that didn’t stop his laughter.

“What’s so funny, punk?” snapped Shirazu.

“Yes, and he’s Mucchy, not a monster.” Saiko crossed her arms.

Urie glanced at a sweating Mutsuki, and Suzuya Juuzou had gone unusually still.

“Unless you’re a cat, right?” Tokage winked at Suzuya, who paled.

“N-no,” stammered Mutsuki, desperate. “No, you’re wrong.”

“You killed the kitty?” Suzuya’s eyes were wide. 

Because he would remember, wouldn’t he, Mutsuki thought in horror. He liked Suzuya. And he’d hurt him. Again.

“And his family, ain’t that right?” Tokage cracked his knuckles, and that was it for Aura.

“Fuck off.” He leapt to his feet, Hsaio on his heels.

“Nah.” Tokage leered at Mutsuki. “Tell me, who was first: your dad? your Mom? your brother? Did you kill your brother and make up the abuse to cover it? Huh?”

Mutsuki doubled over. “No – ghouls killed them, you know that – ”

“He’s clearly upset.” Saiko marched over and tried to place her hand on Mutsuki’s shoulder.

Mutsuki pulled away. “Ghouls killed them – I am a ghoul – I am – I am – I am – ”

“Say it, boy.” Tokage lifted Mutsuki up by his collar. “You are grotesque. And now your Rc count is out of control, you know. You’re a menace.”

He shoved Mutsuki to his knees. “Look at his Rc levels. He’s a real ghoul now. Tell me, what exactly did Torso do to you to make you like him?”

Mutsuki hurt too much to scream. Salt streamed down his burning cheeks.

“I’m bad, I’m bad, I’m bad,” he sobbed.

“Did you kill the cat?”

Mutsuki didn’t respond until Takage pinched his cheek. “Yes!”

“Did you kill your family? Did you eat a dead instructor to survive at the auction? Did you dismember Torso like you wish to be dismembered?” Takage kept pinching Mutsuki just the way he knew Mutsuki hated, and the boy kept whimpering “yes” just to end it.

“So, there you have it.” Tokage straightened. “I did my duty by keeping an eye on him, and now you’ll do yours and exterminate this vermin. Quinx.” He spat at them on his way out.

“I’m not a Quinx,” said Suzuya, leaping forward and kneeing Tokage right in the groin. 

Higemaru took a step towards Mutsuki, who jerked his head up to see – to see Urie staring at him. Just staring.

He cried out and scrambled back against the wall. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“I don’t care what you did. You don’t have to be sorry to me,” Saiko said stubbornly.

“We like you,” Higemaru added, and Hsaio nodded with a stern glance towards Aura, who immediately added, “Me too.” 

“I like him, too,” Suzuya told Tokage, chewing on a strand of black hair. “I don’t like you. Wait, Mutsuki -”  

Everyone’s eyes were on him as Higemaru handed Suzuya handcuffs. “I believe this could be considered interference with an investigation.”

Suzuya clicked the cuffs around a protesting Tokage’s wrists. “If I hadn’t had Mr. Shinohara, I would be worse than you. So I don’t look at you with disgust, because you’ve never done that to me.” 

“Come here, boy, my ghoulie friend.” Shirazu crushed Mutsuki to his chest. “Like, am I supposed to be worried you’ll eat me? As if.”

Saiko threw herself atop the two, and Hsaio and Higemaru dragged Aura over.

And through the mass embrace, Urie’s fingers reached out to tap Mutsuki’s shoulder.

“I’m gonna hurt you all,” whispered Mutsuki.

“If we could handle Urie, we can handle you.” Saiko grinned.

Mutsuki’s eyes lingered on Urie. Do you hate me

“Hey.” Urie smiled stiffly. “You know…whatever you’ve done, you’ve been who you are the entire time we’ve known you. And we like you for who you are. Saiko’s right, I think I’ve been more grotesque than you.”

Mutsuki’s heart beat quicker. Could they – could they all accept him?

“Can I hug you?” Urie asked. 

A man…asked him permission to touch him? No one did that.

Mutsuki nodded as tears filled his eyes, and for once he found himself in a safe sea of people who loved him. His family.