The gay/bi boys’ reactions to seeing a penis for the first time?

Nagachika Hideyoshi – blushing like mad

Tsukiyama Shuu – SWEEEET HARMONYYYYYYYY

Urie Kuki – Mine is bigger

Suzuya Juuzou – Cute! Want to see mine?

Hanbee Abara – sweating like Bertolt Hoover in the sun

Tatara – Hello, yes, may I marry you?

Houji – licks lips

Naki – screams (again)

Yamori – let’s make hate

Yomo Renji – embarrassed at both them and himself for liking it

Uta – I want it in my mouth. *rips it off* Oh that’s not what you thought I meant?

Washuu Yoshitoki – Oh. Oh my. Oh my god.

Washuu Matsuri – strips right then and there

Marude Itsuki – short of breath

If you headcanon anyone else, let me know and I’ll add them.

The straight/bi boys’ reactions to seeing boobs irl for the first time?

Kaneki Ken – “They’re so squishy.” (canon)

Nagachika Hideyoshi – CAN I HOLD THEM

Nishiki Nishio – spills coffee on himself

Koma Enji – eyebrow wiggle

Tsukiyama Shuu – Why can’t boys have something so fabulous

Urie Kuki – I wonder how they’d look on Mutsuki

Shirazu Ginshi – giggles uncontrollably

Higemaru Touma – spends the next day drawing large-breasted monsters

Aura Shinsanpei – crawls into corner

Amon Koutarou – prays

Takizawa Seidou – squeals with glee

Suzuya Juuzou – huh? those look heavy

Hanbee Abara – faints

Miyuki Mikage – I wonder if aliens have boobs

Keijin Nakarai – I’ve just met my future wife

Mizurou Tamaki – closes himself in his room for the rest of the day

Shinohara Yukinori – it was his wedding night with his wife. He was very gentle and she was rather fierce and it was beautiful.

Tatara – *draws Houji with boobs, mails it to him*

Houji – what the fuck Tatara – oh my, these look rather nice

Naki – screams

Yamori – do they hurt if you cut them

Ayato Kirishima – Ayato.exe has stopped working

Yomo Renji – stops breathing

Uta – thinks of them as interesting art/places for tattoos

Arima Kishou – speechless, but a small smile grows on his lips

Nimura Furuta – hello, I’m the bureau director. i like your boobs; can I dominate you?

Kuriowa Takeomi – “Y- Yoriko – you’re – like – beautiful – and – ah – so many feelings!”

Kuriowa Iwao – That’s nice.

Ui Koori – blubbering, red-cheeked mess

Hirako Take – am I supposed to be seeing this?

Washuu Yoshitoki – dazzled

Marude Itsuki – clears throat, smooths hair. Hi there.

Tanakamaru Mougan – Higheerrrrrrrrrrrrr boobs!

Rio – Poke

Okau okay okay but Yomo and Uta having a one night stand and Itori teasing them about it the next day

Lol this is probably canon.

“Well, well, well, look what the clown dragged in.” Itori waits downstairs in HySy Art Studio as her two friends trudge down together in the same clothes they wore yesterday.

“Don’t say anything,” Yomo threatens her.

“It was that bad? Uta!” Itori puts her hands on her hips.

“I thought I did very well!” Uta crosses his arms.

Yomo grunts. “You did.”

“Awwwwww.” Itori laughs. “Does Renji have a crush?”

“It’s a one-night stand, Itori. I thought you were familiar with those.” Uta pops an eye in his mouth.

“Only because I witness your latest conquests.” Itori helps herself to an eye. “Not that Ren is a conquest. If anything, you’re his.”

Uta throws an eye at her.

“No, but seriously. So when should I book a wedding venue?” Itori raises an eyebrow. “This is too good a chance to miss. Yomo can Anteiku handle the catering?”

Yomouta needs more love. Yomouta nsfw and sfw hcs?

I agree. Yomo and Uta’s relationship needs all the love.

SFW

– It’s not uncommon for Yomo to come home and find that Uta has redecorated his entire apartment. The worst was when Uta made it a haunted house while Yomo was sleeping. He woke up to a living nightmare.

– Yomo likes tracing the outlines of Uta’s tattoo while Uta sleeps.

– Every year, on the anniversary of Hikari’s death, Uta takes Yomo out for a long stroll through all of her favorite places. There’s a lot of cuddling and Yomo refusing to cry, so Uta makes a scene bawling for him.

– Uta was actually pretty devastated he he no longer led the 4th ward. He went through a life crisis and stopped eating. Yomo stole all of Anteiku’s eyeballs and had to force-feed him.

– Koma once asked Uta when the ring was coming, and the expression on Yomo’s face scared the great Devil Ape from ever asking again.

NSFW

– Uta is rather kinky. Yomo is not. They usually require long conversations to decide on what they want to try/not try.

– Itori once walked into Uta’s apartment, excited about the latest gossip, to find the two of them naked in Uta’s bed. She screamed with joy and hugged them, even though they were still naked. This is how she found out about their relationship.

– They shared their first kiss the night Yomo was nearly killed by Arima. Uta visited him and confessed he would have been quite sad to lose his friend. Yomo stared back at him, and Uta smashed his lips against his. Yomo, of course, returned the kiss.

– Uta is a fan of squeezing Yomo’s rear end, or lightly brushing agains this thighs, during the day/when they’re busy. Yomo rather likes it, though he’s also too shy to do the same.

– He once did. Uta screamed and told everyone present.

tokyo ghoul boys as commercials

Kaneki Ken – A trailer for the latest thriller novel from Takatsuki Sen.

Nagachika Hideyoshi – Come to Hawaii, where it’s sunny all the time!

Nishiki Nishio – The latest pharmaceutical. “If you feel like eating human flesh, talk to your doctor. Nishikimiazole may be right for you.”

Koma Enji – An infomercial on how to make the Devil Ape’s Best Coffee.

Tsukiyama Shuu – L’Oreal, because he’s worth it.

Urie Kuki – Advertising firm for career building.

Mutsuki Tooru – Mental health awareness.

Shirazu Ginshi – He and Haru star in a new ad for a research study on for Rc cell over-secretion.

Higemaru Touma – Firefighter appreciation.

Aura Shinsanpei – A trailer for the latest melodrama.

Amon Koutarou – Dunkin’ Donuts

Takizawa Seidou – Antidepressant medication.

Suzuya Juuzou – Skittles commercial.

Hanbee Abara – Social anxiety medication.

Miyuki Mikage – Science museum ad.

Keijin Nakarai – Can you hear me now? Smartphone service.

Mizurou Tamaki – The best beef steak in Tokyo!

Shinohara Yukinori – Be a mentor or child sponsorship.

Tatara – Spy thriller movie.

Naki – Rent your best white suit ever.

Yamori – Creepy ad for an undefined “research study.” Pulled after 1 air.

Ayato Kirishima – Axe Body Spray.

Yomo Renji – Visit Re Cafe!

Uta – Tattoo shop.

Arima Kishou – Glaucoma PSA.

Nimura Furuta – Maybe it’s Maybelline! Or maybe it’s ghoul regeneration!

Kuriowa Takeomi – Lumberjacking, or eyebrow styling.

Kuriowa Iwao – Sports ad.

Ui Koori – NicoDerm.

Hirako Take – Sad, abused animal PSA set to moving music.

Ihei Shio – the best ice cream in Tokyo.

Yusa Arima – martial arts studio.

Mayazumi – eyebrow styling.

Hajime Hazuki – PTSD medication.

Washuu Matsuri – A dating app.

Washuu Yoshitoki – Hiking!

Marude Itsuki – the next gun show.

Tanakamaru Mougan – Hairspray.

Kaneki has always wanted a dog, but between his abusive mother, neglectful aunt and everything concerning his Ghoul life, that childhood desire never came true. He gets the surprise of his life when his family presents him with a new Akita puppy (maybe named Hachiko, after the infamous dog). (I blame the puppy videos on YouTube and the movie Hachi, for this one 😝)

“Touka, are you okay?” Kaneki enters their apartment to see her doubled over, pressed against the door to their bedroom.

“She’s fine,” Ayato calls. Hinami clutches his shoulder and giggles.

“All set!” Touka calls.

“Oof,” Kaneki hears Yomo grunt from behind the door. It opens and out spill the Quinx, Tsukiyama, Nishiki and Kimi, Akira and Amon, and…an Akita puppy.

Kaneki’s mouth falls open as the puppy quivers with excitement. It yips and scampers closer to him.

“We’ve named it Hachiko. You don’t get a choice,” Saiko calls.

Kaneki laughs. He stretched out his hand so the puppy can sniff him. “Better our dog than our kid.”

“Don’t worry. Mutsuki and I made a list of names,” Touka assures him.

Kaneki gulps.

The puppy tackles him.

“It’s so lovable!” Kaneki cries. “I – oh my gosh, Touka, I love it!”

“Take care of it well, Kaneki,” says Akira. She grins. “Maris Stella won’t like you anymore.”

“She better like Hachiko. He’s the best,” Touka declares.

Kaneki looks up at her with tears in his eyes. When he confessed his lifelong dream a week ago, in the middle of the night, he hadn’t expected anything other than a hug.

“Now that we can live freely, I figure we might as well make the most of it,” explains Touka.

Kaneki smiles. “I love you.”

I’m sure I’m not the only one who would like this but: scenario where Touka decides to be with Kaneki and their baby as well as save Yoriko despite the danger this could pose to her and her loved ones after learning her and Yoriko being connected while Touka is a ghoul may have doomed her friend unlike in the manga where she chose the safety of her and Kaneki and a possible family over Yoriko. It’s somewhat understandable why she did (baby to think of) but I would like her to also chose Yoriko

“Let’s do this.” Ayato cracks his knuckles.

“I can’t believe you talked me into another prison raid,” mumbles Yomo.

“It’s quality Kirishima bonding time.” Touka clears her throat.

“Onee-chan, promise you’ll be careful if you think the baby’s in danger.” Hinami frowns.

“I promise.” Touka sighs.

“Great!” Kaneki smiles brightly, because inwardly he’s screaming and dying. “Let’s do this.”

He casually strolls up to the guards, Naki and Miza behind him. “Oh, hey there.”

“Sasaki!” They draw their guns.

“Really? He just came to talk. That’s terribly impolite.” Tsukiyama drops down from the roof . “You’re surrounded. I suggest that you’re going to be very compliant, aren’t you?”

As soon as the Rc scanners are deactivated, Touka, Hinami, Ayato, and Yomo rush into the prison.

“Cell 414…cell 414…” Touka rushes up the stairs. “Yoriko!”

“Touka-chan?” Her best friend’s face pales. “Touka, why are you here? They say you’re a ghoul!”

“I am.” Touka slumps over. “I’m sorry I never told you.”

Yoriko frowns. “Hina is too?”

“Yup.”

Ayato waves. “Hi, I’m Ayato.”

“You!” Yoriko leaps to her feet. “You hurt your sister when you ran away!”

She approaches the cell door. “Why didn’t you tell me? I – I wouldn’t have turned you in.”

“I wanted to protect you.”

“Stand back.” Yomo electrifies the cell door. It swings free, and he grabs Yoriko. “Time to go.”

“Wait! Takeomi – my husband – he’s in jail, too, for punching the officer who arrested me.” Yoriko clutches Touka. “We have to save him, too.”

Touka sighs. “Am I gonna approve your husband? Lead on. Your wedding was lovely, by the way.”

Yoriko’s eyes fill with tears. “What?”

“Kaneki and I watched from over the hills.” Touka smiles sadly. “We’re married, too.”

Yoriko gasps. “Touka!” She hugs her. “I predicted right.”

“You did,” Touka admits with a laugh.

“Oh hey, Eyebrow-chan.” Ayato waves through the cell bars to Takeomi Kuriowa. “Wanna come with us and your wife? We promise we won’t eat you.”

“Yoriko! What’s – what are you doing?” Takeomi nearly falls over.

“Trusting Touka-chan. I think we can.”

“Don’t pretend you like Furuta.” Touka rolls her eyes as Yomo electrifies his cell door.

“I don’t but – ghouls – I mean – Yoriko -”

“Better than execution, right?” HInami wraps her kagune around him. “Come with us.”

When they’re all back in the 24th ward, Kaneki, Touka, Takeomi, and Yoriko sit down for a long conversation.

Scenario where Kaneki does flee with everyone into hiding during the raid on Anteiku instead of staying to fight. They all end up returning safely after the dangers over to work at the cafe as a family again. One day Mutsuki happens to walk in and interacts with Kaneki (who he takes an immediate shine to) and the others and is ultimately offered a part time job at Anteiku as a waiter. Thoughts of Kaneki and the others makes him accept happily, feeling like he finally belongs.

Cute!

“Here you go, sir. Black coffee.” The cute black-haired waiter hands a mug to Mutsuki.

Mutsuki smiles. “T-thanks.” It’s warm and comforting, something he sorely needs after leaving CCG.

“Your hair is a cute color. Do you dye it?” A pretty teenager with light brown hair waves at him.

“No.” Mutsuki blushes.

“I like it.”

“This is backbreaking work, Kaneki.” A bespectacled man with chestnut hair stops mopping the floor to sag against the wall.

“Stop being a drama queen, Nishiki-shit-head.” The manager stomps in, but pauses as soon as she notices Mutsuki. “Oh. I apologize.”

“It’s okay.” Mutsuki has to laugh. They seem like a big, happy family.

“Touka-chan, this is how you can Nishiki will scare off all our customers,” laughs a graceful black-haired woman.

“Not my ferocity?” A man with a large nose bares his teeth.

Mutsuki’s eyes mist. Family. He wishes he had one. But it’s his own fault he doesn’t.

So he keeps returning to the cafe. Yomo, a large man with a gentle demeanor, and Kaneki, a sweet kid about his age, meet him every day to discuss news and books, respectively. Yomo seems particularly interested when he learns Mutsuki is a graduate of CCG’s academy.

“Why’d you leave?” asks Touka, sitting besides Mutsuki.

“Be – because they did something…” Mutuski mumbles. They helped him blame ghouls instead of himself. They presented his case to younger students even though they knew it was a lie. How could he trust anything he’d been taught? “Something awful. And I didn’t want to be a part of it. And I hate blood.”

“Me too,” admits Kaneki.

“Wuss.” Touka pokes Kaneki’s nose, but she’s smiling.

“What do you think of ghouls?” Koma’s eyes glimmer.

“I really don’t know.” Mutsuki shrugs. “I don’t…hate them. I just don’t know them.”

“I mean, you do, but that’s cool.” Nishiki waves his hand.

“NIshiki!” Touka yells.

Mutsuki’s mouth drops open. “You’re – a – uh -”

“We all are. Well, Ken’s a half-ghoul. The rest of us are full ghouls.” Hinami holds out her hand, and Loser flutters down onto her fingers. She looks sweet and kind.

“I won’t tell,” Mutsuki promises. He’s in no position to judge murder, anyhow. But maybe…they wouldn’t hate him if they knew. “You’re all like family to me.”

“Good.” Touka hands him a mop. “Wanna work here?”

“Does that mean I’m off cleaning duty?” shouts Nishiki.

Mutsuki laughs. Someday he’ll tell them. For right now, he’ll enjoy this strange, strange family.

Utaren angst.

Utaren is life, Utaren is love, Utaren is angst.

“I can’t let you throw your life away.” Uta crosses the tunnel to Yomo’s bleeding, weakened body.

“I choose to,” Yomo mutters.

Uta looks at the dozens of slowly-healing knife wounds in his friend. “I’m…”

He can’t say he’s sorry. He has no business feeling bad. He chose this. He knew the consequences.

“Then let me help you.”

“Hmm?”

Uta pins Yomo to the ground and pulls aside his shirt. “My shoulder.”

Yomo blinks. “Uta…”

“You need flesh,” Uta says quietly. “Do you not?”

Yomo sinks his teeth into Uta, and Uta recalls the times they did this together as fun, first as a dare, then as part of lovemaking.

But that was a long time ago.

Yomo pulls back, Uta’s blood around his lips. “Why?”

“I never know why with you.” Uta smiles. “Now, go on and save your niece.”

What feels like an earthquake rattles the tunnel. Yomo growls.

“The dragon is unleashed,” Uta says.

Yomo narrows his eyes. “You were keeping me here.”

“I was.”

“Why, Uta?” Yomo shakes his head. “Why?”

“I didn’t want to lose you.” Uta hangs his head.

“But I can lose Touka and Hinami? Touka can lose her child?” Yomo stands, his eyes flashing. “I need you to be real with me, for just a minute, Uta.”

“You won’t like the answer.”

“That’s never stopped me before, has it?”

Uta laughs with his friend for a moment. “No, I suppose it hasn’t.”

“Accompany me to the dragon.” Yomo strides down the tunnel, and with a curse, Uta hurries after him.

A scenario where Mutsuki and Aura don’t exactly “bury Yomo six feet under in style” but they defeat him (because I like my son Mutsuki an dont want him too evil) meaning that Mutsuki isn’t fried and Aura doesn’t have his neck snapped, enough so Mutsuki can continue on to reunite with Kaneki and Aura fights off any enemies that tries to hinder him

This fight keeps dragging on and on, and Yomo can’t stop thinking about Touka and Hinami. Have they escaped yet? And what of Naki, Miza, and the others?

A blow from the eyepatch investigator – the one who insulted Touka! – sends him backwards. The tall kid raises his quinque.

“I wouldn’t do that, were I you.” Uta’s smooth voice slithers out from above.

“Who are you?” spits the tall kid.

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is that if you continue on, and leave the Raven to me, you can reunite with your beloved Kaneki and maybe save your Oggai, too.” The masked ghoul jumps between the investigators and Yomo.

Mutsuki hesitates, but Aura sounds frantic. “The Oggai?”

“Like I said.”

“Let’s go.” Aura drags Mutsuki away.

They race towards the sounds of battle, and when they reach the rest of CCG, Mutsuki screams.

Kaneki is there, a limbless torso.

No – they did it to Sensei too! Mutsuki clutches his face. How could we?

Aura, however, feels vindicated that Kaneki knows what loss of limb feels like.

Mutsuki steps closer. Furuta directs Hajime towards Kaneki, a sly smile on his beautiful face.

Save the Oggai. Aura has a horrible epiphany. “Mutsuki, wait!”

But Mutsuki races forward, shoving investigator after investigator aside. “Sensei!”

He falls to his knees, crying.

“Huh?” Hajime frowns, but within a moment, Aura has grabbed him and yanked him away.

“Let go!”

“Sensei, it’s not fair,” cries Mutsuki.

Kaneki can’t leave him now. He can barely move.

But he’s hurting, hurting in ways Mutsuki understands, and Mutsuki can’t bear it.

“No – no – no.” Mutsuki activates his bikaku and shoves it in Kaneki’s mouth. “Eat.”

“Tooru!” cries Aura.

“Furuta did this!” screams Mutsuki. “He set us all up!”

“I know, but do you really think helping that thing is worth it?” Aura yells, still wrestling Hajime.

“Yes. I love him.” Mutsuki’s eyes stream as Kaneki finally bites down on his bikaku. “That’s it, Sensei. I’ll help you. Let me help you.”