Headcannons for the memes of Goat waking up with morning wood

Kaneki Ken – panics until Touka, er, helps him out.

Yomo Renji – annoyed but goes about his day.

Tsukiyama Shuu – What a blessed morning! He might pleasure himself.

Kirishima Ayato – Ain’t got time and/or Hinami for this shit. 

Naki – Wait what is happening. *runs out of room* MIZA DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING?

Nishiki Nishio – misses Kimi. 

Hirako Take- Holy sh – I mean crap – can you not, body? What if the children see?! o.O 

Kazuichi Banjou – Doesn’t leave his room until it’s gone. 

Koma Enji – The devil remains strong in the ape, I see. *evil grin*

Takizawa Seidou – Well at least some part of me remains lifelike. *feels sad* 

( a continuation of the mutsuki and touka reunion? at the ccg) The whole time mutsuki is flipping out, touka is just calming drinking her decaf coffee (cause i don’t think pregnant ladies can have caffeine) and says “man, i always heard about people hating their inlaws but this just takes the cake” which is overheard by several q-squad members and just adds to the confusion

Touka sips the terrible decaf coffee Hide brewed just for her. “Man, I always heard about people hating their in laws but this just takes the cake, you know?”

“You can eat cake?” Saiko asks.

“In laws? You mean, you really are married?” Takizawa laughs. “Holy shit!”

“Does that make you my mother?” gasps Higemaru. “Because I am down with that. She’s a badass.”

“I hate her! I hate her! She’s not our mother!” cries Mutsuki. “She – she stole Sensei away! That slut!”

Ayato rises, but Hinami yanks him back. 

“Touka is actually pretty cool for the rabbit who killed my dad,” Akira says, tossing her a wry smile. Akira keeps her hands massaging Mutsuki’s shoulders. 

Aura spits out his coffee. “She what?”

“Say it, don’t spray it,” says Nishiki with a glare.  

“Oh come off it, we’re all killers here.” Kurona primly lifts her mug.

“Mutsuki, Kaneki left you because he couldn’t face himself,” Tsukiyama says quietly. “He’s never been good at that. Not that I have either. He craves a family but fears the hurt that comes with love. It was his failing, not yours. Not Touka’s.” He smiles slightly. “He told me the list of people he cared about once. Believe me, you Quinx were included.”

Mutsuki sniffles. “Really?” 

But I am awful. I kill families. But Akira is rubbing his back, and Urie has approached him, and Saiko looks at him with kindness he doesn’t deserve. Did he leave the Quinx home, too? 

“Really.” Tsukiyama nods. 

Mutsuki lets out a little sob, and that does it. Saiko springs up and embraces him. Even Touka has to smile. 

“Wait, wait, wait!” Ayato stands up. “Touka! Does that mean you really are – the rumors – the decaf -”

He turns purple. “I CAN’T HELP HIM!”

“Sit down and shut up,” Yomo mumbles. 

Ayato sits.

I’ve decided to be cruel and ask for a scenario where Hinami dies during childbirth :)

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“Her pulse is increasing.” Banjou hesitates. 

“Hold on, please,” Ayato begs, racing forward to grab Hinami’s hands with one hand. Their child is in his other hand. “I can’t lose you.”

“Get him out of here,” Tsukiyama commands. 

Touka moves forward to hold her brother’s shoulders. Her voice breaks. “Shuu, let him stay.” 

Ayato would have rather his sister kicked him out. Terror kicks him. “No, please.”

He clutches their child. Ryouko. “Hina, I need you.”

“My kagune isn’t healing enough.” Banjou whispers.

Tsukiyama leaves abruptly. When he returns, he’s dragging a white-faced Kaneki, grim Yomo, sobbing Nishiki, and a trembling Miza. 

Ayato lets out a sob at the sight of them. 

“Your daughter is beautiful,” Yomo says thickly.

“Onee-chan.” Hinami’s eyes suddenly open. She smiles at Kaneki.

“Hey there, Hinami-chan.” Kaneki and Touka approach.

“Ayato?”

“He’s right here, little Hinami.” Tsukiyama shoves him forward.

“Don’t cry, Ayato,” she says, reaching for him. She feels like she’s hanging by a fraying thread. 

His hands are so warm, so lifelike. “You’re going to be a great daddy.” 

“You need to be a great Mommy, too,” Ayato whines.

“I will. I don’t think…Mom stopped when she went to heaven.” Hinami smiles deliriously. 

“Yotsume!” The door bursts open, and Akira Mado barrels in. “Yotsume! Hey!” 

She reaches over to embrace Hinami. 

“Do you think,” HInami begins, “Your dad and my parents are laughing together?”

“Dad was pretty stubborn, but you never know,” Akira says, forcing a smile. 

“I’m gonna tell Hikari hi from you Kirishimas,” Hinami mumbles. 

Ayato lets out another sob.

“Can you hold me?” 

He places Ryouko in Hina’s arms and crawls next to her. Her breathing slows, then restarts, and slows again.

Akira checks her pulse. “She’s gone.”

Ayato lets out a wail. Nishiki punches the wall, and Tsukiyama throws himself into a teary Yomo’s arms. 

Touka and Kaneki clutch each other, and Banjou curls up on the floor. Miza sinks to her knees.

“I’m sorry,” Ayato begs, to Hina, to Ryouko, to his other family. 

“You made her happy,” Touka tells him through her tears. “Nothing to be sorry for.” 

More sin! Are the guys of Tokyo Ghoul a boob man, an ass man, or a leg man?

Kaneki Ken – boobs. They’re so squishy. 

Nagachika Hideyoshi – like his BFF, he also prefers boobs.

Nishiki Nishio – ass, probably

Tsukiyama Shuu – ass. He does envy boobs, however. 

Koma Enji – all about them legs

Yoshimura Kuzen – He’d probably be more innocent, like a “smile man.”

Yomo Renji – ass, but ashamed of it.

Uta – ass and totally proud of it. 

Tatara – strong legs to kick the enemy.

Kirishima Ayato – boobs, but they also make him laugh so…

Noro – boobs kinda fascinate him 

Yamori – he’ll beat your ass

Naki – shapely legs are delicious in many ways.

Mado Kureo – legs. They’re useful.

Amon Koutarou – boobs. They’re cute. 

Takizawa Seidou – ass. It’s sexy, unlike how he views himself. 

Urie Kuki – strong legs. make yourself useful. 

Mutsuki Tooru – finely sculpted legs.

Shirazu Ginshi – boooobs

Higemaru Touma – quite an ass fan.

Aura Shinsanpei – boobs but like…he’s resigned himself to never seeing them in person.

Washuu Matsuri – Urie’s ass

Washuu Yoshitoki – rather fond of boobs himself

Arima Kishou – boobs both fluster and excite him

Ui Koori – boobs. How do girls move with them? Why are they so pretty? 

Take Hirako – legs are beautiful.

Itou Kuramoto – asses are attractive. if you have it, might as well flaunt it. 

Suzuya Juuzou – he likes how smooth legs are. 

Hanbee Abara – boobs, but they also intimidate him

Mizurou Tamaki – ass 

Miyuki Mikage – legs, legs tall enough to reach his height

Keijin Nakarai – ass and boobs. he chooses both. 

Kuriowa Takeomi – asses fascinate him

Kuriowa Iwao – his wife’s boobs 

Shinohara Yukinori – all about those long legs.

Mougan Tanakamaru – he appreciates a finely sculpted ass. His own, specifically.

Furuta Nimura – Boobs. Rize’s boobs. His own lack of boobs. Boobs. 

If it’s not to uncomfortable to do, headcannons about the males of Anteiku and Aoigiri (plus Uta) Manhood headcannons? Please, thanks!

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Kaneki Ken – average and probably not something he maintains or thinks about, except for rare occasions. 

Nishiki Nishio – smaller than he’d ever admit. (But it’s enough for Kimi, so, like, it’s fine). 

Koma Enji – he loves to boast about how big it is. It’s probably normal sized, though, and Irimi probably knows this. 😉 

Tsukiyama Shuu – perfectly perfumed, his pride and joy. 

Yoshimura Kuzen – unsure how he had Eto, because he never had sex. Nope. My word is final. The end. 

Yomo Renji – he’s probably, er, much larger than average. Sometimes Uta likes to make him uncomfortable by telling him he should use that fact more.  

Uta – he’d 100% tattoo an eye or something on the end just to troll his partner.

Tatara – He meticulously grooms himself. 

Kirishima Ayato – once he tried to shave that area… let’s just say he was in an even angrier mood for the next week.  

Noro – probably long and more lively than the rest of him. 😉

Naki – He tries to convince everyone to compare their manhoods, and then tells them they’ll never be as perfect as Big Bro. 

Fav sex positions with Goat. <3 ya!

Ooooh la la. ❤ ya too!

Kaneki Ken – missionary, top

Touka Kirishima – cowgirl

Nishiki Nishio – cowgirl

Tsukiyama Shuu – I don’t think there’s one position that could ever satisfy him

Chie Hori – sitting

Yomo Renji – spooning

Take Hirako – what is sex.

Ayato Kirishima – butterfly 😉

Hinami Fueguchi – sit and straddle

Irimi Kaya – doggy style

Koma Enji – 69

Banjou Kazuichi – missionary, bottom

Takizawa Seidou – doggy style

Kurona Yasuhisa – wall sex

Naki – waterfall

Miza Kusakari – up and over

Kimi asking Nishiki to marry her? (I have a thing in my ships where the most shy member of the ship asks)

“Nishiki,” Kimi murmurs one night.

“Eh?” Nishiki opens his eyes. Oh, shit. It’s actually morning. 

“I called Kaneki and told him you’ll be late.” Kimi smiles and traces his forehead. She hands him his glasses. “I have something for you.”

“Oh really? Is it a burger?” Nishiki has just had his first hamburger and hasn’t quite recovered. Kimi’s ghoul medication has saved his life.

“No, but I can get you one.” Kimi smiles shyly.

She drops to one knee and produces a simple white gold ring. “Nishiki Nishio, I love you with all my heart and soul. Would you marry me?” 

Nishiki yells. “I was planning on asking you soon!”

She giggles. “So is that a yes?”

“Of course.” Nishiki hugs her, cursing. “I had the ring all picked out, too. Why are you so much better than me?”

“I’m not.” Kimi winks. “I just know you and thought I’d spare you the anxiety.”

“I appreciate it.” Nishiki draws her close for a kiss.

When they arrive at the GOAT-CCG Alliance headquarters, they find that Yoriko’s baked a cake, and Kaneki and Touka are waiting for them. Hinami  throws confetti. “CONGRATULATIONS!”

The straight/bi boys’ reactions to seeing boobs irl for the first time?

Kaneki Ken – “They’re so squishy.” (canon) 

Nagachika Hideyoshi – CAN I HOLD THEM

Nishiki Nishio – spills coffee on himself

Koma Enji – eyebrow wiggle

Tsukiyama Shuu – Why can’t boys have something so fabulous 

Urie Kuki – I wonder how they’d look on Mutsuki

Shirazu Ginshi – giggles uncontrollably

Higemaru Touma – spends the next day drawing large-breasted monsters 

Aura Shinsanpei – crawls into corner

Amon Koutarou – prays

Takizawa Seidou – squeals with glee

Suzuya Juuzou – huh? those look heavy 

Hanbee Abara – faints

Miyuki Mikage – I wonder if aliens have boobs

Keijin Nakarai – I’ve just met my future wife

Mizurou Tamaki – closes himself in his room for the rest of the day

Shinohara Yukinori – it was his wedding night with his wife. He was very gentle and she was rather fierce and it was beautiful.

Tatara – *draws Houji with boobs, mails it to him*

Houji – what the fuck Tatara – oh my, these look rather nice 

Naki – screams

Yamori – do they hurt if you cut them

Ayato Kirishima – Ayato.exe has stopped working

Yomo Renji – stops breathing

Uta – thinks of them as interesting art/places for tattoos

Arima Kishou – speechless, but a small smile grows on his lips

Nimura Furuta – hello, I’m the bureau director. i like your boobs; can I dominate you? 

Kuriowa Takeomi – “Y- Yoriko – you’re – like – beautiful – and – ah – so many feelings!”

Kuriowa Iwao – That’s nice. 

Ui Koori – blubbering, red-cheeked mess

Hirako Take – am I supposed to be seeing this?

Washuu Yoshitoki – dazzled

Marude Itsuki – clears throat, smooths hair. Hi there. 

Tanakamaru Mougan – Higheerrrrrrrrrrrrr boobs!

Rio – Poke

Okay but nishikimi nsfw please

MY OTP FLAGSHIP YASSSSS – First time for them, loosely based on the novel Past.

I feel at ease with him.

Kimi lets Nishiki’s tongue explore her mouth. She touches his cheek the way he touched hers, and leans back on the couch.

Nishiki pants atop her. “Do you want to…take this into the bedroom?”

Kimi nods. For once, she isn’t thinking about her family. She isn’t thinking about her insufferable pain. She’s only thinking about Nishiki.

“Have you ever done this before?” Nishiki purrs in her ear.

“No,” she admits. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry!” He sounds scandalized. 

“You have, right?”

“Yes?” Nishiki feels different with Kimi, though. He feels freer. She doesn’t ask about his past, because she’s so focused on enjoying him now. “We should probably take it slow.”

Kimi nods. “Do you want to undress me?”

Nishiki snorts. “Is that even a question?” 

She laughs as he pulls off her clothing, one by one, and kisses whatever skin he finds underneath. Even her feet, when he removes her socks.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers, sliding his fingers between her legs. 

Kimi whimpers as she helps him out of his own clothing. She feels safe and happy with him as they begin, whispering sweet compliments to each other.

When it’s over, she finds herself warm and sweaty, but Nishiki still wraps her in a blanket. 

“Just in case you get cold,” he says, and Kimi thinks he’s the sweetest boy she’s ever met.