While Aogiri is still together, Naki accidentally gets Miza pregnant (while still being unaware that’s how babies are made)

Miza gargles with water to remove the taste of vomit from her mouth. She’s tired, cranky, and her breasts hurt, but she’s not pregnant. Not even throwing up every morning.

She pushes open the bathroom door and stops still.

“Morning, sweetheart.” Eto sips a cup of coffee, posing by the door.

“Hi,” Miza says.

“Hinami told me you’ve been sick often these mornings.” Eto gives Miza a sly look. “Did you and Naki finally do it?”

Miza flushes the color of her hair. “That’s none of your business.”

“It is when one of my leaders might be in extenuating circumstances,” Eto snaps. Why do babies always make her so upset?

“I’ll let you know,” Miza says dully.

“Okay. I’ll let everyone know you’re too sick to make it to our meeting.” Eto skips away, but pauses at the door. “For the record, you know we’ll support you no matter what.”

“Thanks, Eto.” Miza forces a smile and messages Hinami. She’ll be able to buy a test discreetly, right?

—————————————————

“Hi, Naki.” Three hours later, when the meeting adjorns, Naki has bolted into her room, and Miza has confirmed her fears.

“Miza, please don’t die,” he begs.

Miza can’t help but laugh. “Naki, I’m not dying. Quite the opposite.”

“The…opposite?” His face scrunches up.

“Naki, I’m having your baby.” She winces.

For a moment, he’s silent. Then he gasps with delight and throws his arms around Miza. “You! Pregnant – I can’t – I’m so happy -”

He pauses. “Wait, but how? Is it because we shared a bed together?”

Miza pales. Does he really not… “Uh, kinda.”

“How kinda?”

“Miza, dear, please include Ayato and Hinami and Hakatori in this lesson.” Eto shoves open the door, having clearly been listening. “And Seidou.”

“I know!” growls the owl.

“Better safe than sorry,” Eto sings. “Come on, you all know you’d rather Miza teach than me.”

Miza grinds her teeth at Eto.

“He was laughing at you a minute ago,” Seidou tells Miza, pointing towards Ayato, who looks hysterical.

“Oh, is that so? In that case…” Miza draws Naki close to her. “Buckle in for sex ed, kids.”

i accidentally pronounced itami as vitami/vitamin so mb naki would do it and what’s everyone’s reaction would be like

OMG NAKI DEFINITELY WOULD.

Eto – falls to the floor and rolls around laughing.

Itami – too embarrassed to correct him.

Tatara – shakes his head in shame. He might be smiling under his mask.

Ayato – “is no one really going to say it? It’s Itami, not Vitami, you harebrain!”

Miza – OMG Naki why are you like this?

Hinami – I think Vitamin is a cute code name!

Takizawa Seidou – Gotta admit it’s funny, but hey, maybe that’s your real name too, since you’re apparently a TRAITOR TO CCG.

Rio – bahahahaha

Yumitsu Tomoe – off to collect on the people she had a running bet with that this would happen.

crack head cannon (takes place after the conference for stopping kaneki and everyone is kinda just mulling around): touka is sitting quietly, sipping on decaf coffee when 3 nameless ccg start harassing her. She ignores them and tries to shoo them away with “i have a husband” but they get cocky and insult him while asking where he is. Her answer: pointing out the nearest window at kaneki wrapped around a building and muttered something about how much of a dumbass he is. They get scared and leave

Okay but this is awesome.

Content note for sexual harassment.

“Hey, cutie.” A CCG official sidles up to the Rabbit ghoul, who’s sipping decaf coffee with a gloomy look on her pretty face. “You should smile more.”

Akira Mado glances up from behind the pretty ghoul, eyes blazing.

That goddamn feminist traitor is offended over a ghoul now? Apparently so. “Say what?”

“I just mean she’s really pretty,” he says quickly.

“Thanks.” The rabbit doesn’t even glance at him.

He feels aggravated. Doesn’t she know she’s in CCG, on his hospitality?

“You hardly look like the ghoul I expected,” he tries again.

“Oh, you were expecting monsters?” challenges Miza of the Three Blades. God, why are there so many women here? He just wants to talk to the pretty one.

“No, but I wasn’t expecting someone so beautiful.”

The rabbit looks up in exasperation. “I have a husband.”

“Who doesn’t even have the balls to stick by his wife in hostile territory?” scoffs the man. “I wouldn’t leave you, sweetie.”

“He’s preoccupied.” Touka points towards the writhing dragon outside. “That’s him. He’s a fucking dumbass with great balls, thank you very much, goodbye.”

The man’s eyes widen. Kaneki Ken is married to the rabbit? What the hell?

He scuttles away. Maybe Kaneki will die or something.

Hopefully he won’t eat him. The man gulps.

“Maybe we’ll get lucky and Kaneki will eat a few misogynists,” Akira says dryly. Touka and Miza snicker.

In this situation, they all need humor.

Touka and Mutsuki fight after 152 and then both decide to shoot for a peaceful solution. Mutsuki decides he doesn’t care if Kaneki loves someone else as long as he can also be loved by him. He helps Touka and Hide and everyone get Kaneki out of Dragon with Touka and Kaneki and the others all move into the Chateau with the rest of the Quinx. Mutsuki gets the pure genuine love he always wanted from his Sensei and Touka and the others watch on while smiling

Can this, like, happen?

“Why do you think love is so cheap?” Touka fires Rc shards into Mutsuki’s arm. God dammit, she knows Ken loves this kid, but if he ain’t testing her patience now. “What, you think if Kaneki loves me he can’t love you? Love isn’t a math game, Eyepatch! Kaneki left you because he was afraid of you! And he was afraid because he loved you all! It had nothing to do with me!”

“Then why didn’t he come back?!” Mutsuki screams.

“Because Kaneki wants to hide when he feels like he’s done something wrong – like leaving you!” Touka yells back.

Mutsuki hesitates. He wants to hide. He’s very good at hiding.

“Mucchan!” shrieks a voice. Touka whirls around to see the rest of the Quinx. The screaming one is the blue-haired girl, the first one to agree to work with ghouls. Saiko, if Touka recalls Kaneki’s descriptions correctly.

“What?” sobs Mutsuki. “Go away! She – stole him!” He points wildly at Touka.

Aura appears. “And we’re going to finish this.”

“Oh my god, really,” Higemaru mutters.

“No, Mutsuki. Sasaki – Kaneki – Maman, if you will – he left us because he was too cowardly to face us. Just like you, leaving us for the Oggai, right? Because you don’t want to admit you have problems?” Urie steps forward, tears in his eyes. “Just like me, ignoring all of you at the start? And you – you were the one who hugged me at my lowest. And kept me from damaging myself more. Now I’m returning the favor.”

Urie steps forward and wraps his arms around Mutsuki. “It’s awful being alone. You do it, I do it, Sasaki does it, Saiko does it, Hsaio is part ghoul so we’ll say she does it too, Aura clearly does it.”

“What about me?” demands Higemaru.

“You’re the balm to the rest of us,” Urie tells him. Higa brightens and prances over to Aura. He hugs him, and Hsaio joins in.

Aura looks like he’s never been hugged before.

Saiko rushes over to join Urie and Mutsuki. Touka and a recovering Miza tiptoe closer.

“Is this where Maman is?” Saiko whispers to Touka.

She nods.

Saiko fastens her kagune into a drill and stabs into the flesh of the giant worm.

Touka gasps as Saiko rips forth a bloodied Kaneki with ease. His arms are no longer scaled. He looks whole.

“Ken!” she cries. She and all of the Quinx rush forward as Saiko lays him down atop the kagune.

“He’s unconscious,” says Miza.

Kaneki, however, cracks open one eye. He sees Mutsuki – Touka – Urie – Saiko – Miza and the new quinx, all standing there.

“Family,” he mumbles before losing consciousness.

Mutsuki bawls and Touka hugs him. For Kaneki’s sake, she’ll forgive this poor kid.

Three months later

Mutsuki opens the door to the Chateau. “After you.”

“Thanks,” says Touka, stepping inside to see all of the Quinx, Hide, and her husband gathered in their living room. Aura still sulks in a corner, but he’s inching closer to the rest of them day by day.

“Well? What did the doctor say?” Kaneki wasn’t able to accompany Touka to her ultrasound this morning, because he’s still under house arrest at the Chateau.

Mutsuki exchanges a smile with Touka.

“It’s a girl,” Touka blurts out.

Saiko shrieks, Higemaru cheers, and Mutsuki claps. Kaneki stumbles forward to wrap his arms around Touka. “Another girl in our family.”

Aogiri reactions to Up

Yoshimura Eto – laughs hysterically throughout the first 10 minutes. Not because she really finds it funny, but because she doesn’t want to cry.

Noro – came alive again to cry.

Tatara – stared at a wall wiping his tears for an hour afterwards.

Kirishima Ayato – claims it is a stupid movie, but secretly rewatches it over and over.

Fueguchi Hinami – You will find her collapsed on the floor, gut-wrenching sobs emanating from her body. You will then find her arms around you as she sobs about the beauty of life.

Yamori – gets angry because it was too good.

Naki – tries to convince Miza to make a house upheld by balloons with him.

Miza Kusakari – nicknames the dog “Naki.”

Takizawa Seidou – babbles hysterically about how he wants to be happy again like Carl.

What does each kagune user think of their kagune?

Kaneki Ken – I don’t feel human. 😦

Kamishiro Rize – it’s sexy and pretty and, well, goodbye to you.

Kirishima Touka -Pretty proud of my wings. Trying to accept Kimi’s words that I’m beautiful.

Kirishima Ayato – Dang thing doesn’t last enough.

Yomo Renji – Confident in my intimidation skills.

Uta – It’s a work of art.

Itori – Ain’t it sexy?

Nishiki Nishio – This is how I get the girls.

Tsukyama Shuu – Smooth and strong, just like me.

Karren Von Rosewald – It’s pretty useful for retrieving Master Shuu.

Matsumae – I’m a boss and I know it.

Koma Enji – Look how mighty I am!

Kaya Irimi – Bet you weren’t expecting a winged puppy, were ya?

Fueguchi Hinami – Mom, Dad, I will make you proud.

Yoshimura Kuzen – Triggers guilt for Eto.

Yoshimura Eto – Dis fun. Rawr. MISCHIEF MANAGED.

Tatara – Bow down, bitches.

Noro – Keeps him alive.

Yamori – Another torture tool.

Naki – wow!

Miza Kusakari – Feels dangerous, and she likes feeling dangerous.

Hakatori/Yumitsu Tomoe – cool, but using quinques is cooler.

Rio – Knows it’s special, but still hesitant.

Hoito Roma – my kagune is cyuuuuuuuttteeeee

Donato Porpora – it’s murder time.

Nico – pretty, pretty

Furuta Nimura – finally I have one

Takizawa Seidou – I fucking hate it I fucking hate all of this shit

Amon Koutarou – Kagune? What kagune? Me?

Yasuhisa Kurona – I miss Shiro.

Urie Kuki – outta my way, badass coming through.

Mutsuki Tooru – I don’t like this much.

Shirazu Ginshi – Uh, am I doing this right? Am I cool yet?

Saiko Yonebayashi – using for battle is boring. Using to create anime sculptures is priceless.

Higemaru Touma – I mean I like it, do you? Urie, do you like it? Do you?

Aura Shinsanpei – I hope wings don’t make me look silly.

Hsaio Ching-Li – And here’s a WHAM! And a BAM! On your feet, minion!

Washuu Yoshitoki – What are you talking about?

Washuu Matsuri – Urie…will you show me yours if I show you mine?

Hajime Hazuki – I feel so goddamn grown *voice cracks* up

(Edited to add Hajime)

Members of Aogiri’s ideal partner? (I initially need Shousei and Hooguro but I want the rest toooooooooooo)

Shousei – Someone who isn’t afraid of scars. They should be sweet and innocent to bring out his soft side. Someone to cuddle at night.

Hooguro – He wants a drama queen. Someone he can laugh with, have adventures with, be wild with.

Naki – Someone who shows him kindness and doesn’t think he’s dumb. Possibly someone snarky.

Miza Kusakari – Someone fierce but wildly kind, a untamed sweetheart.

Ayato Kirishima – Someone who cares enough to see through his prickly-pear exterior. Probably someone who buys him coffee and lets him vent without judging him. Someone who gives him hope.

Hinami Fueguchi – Someone who encourages her, who sees her as strong and brave despite her desire not to kill.

Tatara – A level-headed, practical person who will plot and strategize with him all night long.

Eto – Someone mysterious, someone who is the strength of her enemies…someone for whom she is their weakness. 😉

Noro – Someone who makes him feel alive, who isn’t afraid of his undead appearance.

Yamori – Someone into BSDM who nevertheless sees past all his shit.

The aot cast but as ghouls (obv the Ackerman Clan is basically the Washuu Clan so that’s out of the way)

OMG I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. MY TWO FAVORITE ANIMES.

Eren Jaeger – Kirishima Ayato

Mikasa Ackerman – Kirishima Touka, or an unnamed Washuu

Armin Arlert – Kaneki Ken

Historia Reiss – Kaneki Ken

Ymir – Kanae Von Rosewald

Reiner Braun – Mutsuki Tooru or Amon Koutarou

Bertolt Hoover – Takizawa Seidou

Annie Leonhardt – Akira Mado

Sasha Blouse – Kamishiro Rize

Connie Springer – Koma Enji

Erwin Smith – Arima Kishou, or Yoshimura Eto

Hange Zoe – Nishino Kimi

Levi Ackerman – Arima Kishou

Kenny Ackerman – Mado Kureo

Rod Reiss – Washuu Tsuneyoshi

Uri Reiss – Washuu Yoshitoki

Frieda Reiss – Kosaka Yoriko

Mike Zacharius – Marude Itsuki

Nanaba – Irimi Kaya

Grisha Jaeger – Yoshimura

Dina Fritz/Jaeger – Ukina

Carla Jaeger – Hideyoshi Nagachika

Zeke Jaeger – Furuta Nimura, maybe, hopefully, please

Eren Kruger – Arima Kishou

Pieck – Miza Kusakari

Porco Galliard – Nishiki Nishio

Marcel Galliard – Hirako Take

Colt Grice – Ui Koori

Falco Grice – Higemaru Touma

Gabi – Hairu Ihei

Zophia – Yonebayashi Saiko

Udo – Arima Yusa

Everyone’s reaction to Fueguchi Hinami saying the word: “Fuck.”

I’m dying of laughter.

Kaneki: *gasps* Hinami?! *world tilts*

Touka: The fuck did you just say?

Tsukiyama: *faints*

Yomo: *pretends he heard nothing. Later cries in his room alone*

Nishiki: Don’t you dare start using Touka’s language!

Koma: This is entertaining. The Devil Ape used to wash out Touka’s mouth with soap. (Touka: You fucking did not).

Irimi: grins

Naki: Why is everyone upset? I like that word.

Miza: Ayato has not been a good influence.

Ayato: *cheers* Allow me to enlighten you on the eloquence of creative cursing.

( a continuation of the mutsuki and touka reunion? at the ccg) The whole time mutsuki is flipping out, touka is just calming drinking her decaf coffee (cause i don’t think pregnant ladies can have caffeine) and says “man, i always heard about people hating their inlaws but this just takes the cake” which is overheard by several q-squad members and just adds to the confusion

Touka sips the terrible decaf coffee Hide brewed just for her. “Man, I always heard about people hating their in laws but this just takes the cake, you know?”

“You can eat cake?” Saiko asks.

“In laws? You mean, you really are married?” Takizawa laughs. “Holy shit!”

“Does that make you my mother?” gasps Higemaru. “Because I am down with that. She’s a badass.”

“I hate her! I hate her! She’s not our mother!” cries Mutsuki. “She – she stole Sensei away! That slut!”

Ayato rises, but Hinami yanks him back.

“Touka is actually pretty cool for the rabbit who killed my dad,” Akira says, tossing her a wry smile. Akira keeps her hands massaging Mutsuki’s shoulders.

Aura spits out his coffee. “She what?”

“Say it, don’t spray it,” says Nishiki with a glare.

“Oh come off it, we’re all killers here.” Kurona primly lifts her mug.

“Mutsuki, Kaneki left you because he couldn’t face himself,” Tsukiyama says quietly. “He’s never been good at that. Not that I have either. He craves a family but fears the hurt that comes with love. It was his failing, not yours. Not Touka’s.” He smiles slightly. “He told me the list of people he cared about once. Believe me, you Quinx were included.”

Mutsuki sniffles. “Really?”

But I am awful. I kill families. But Akira is rubbing his back, and Urie has approached him, and Saiko looks at him with kindness he doesn’t deserve. Did he leave the Quinx home, too?

“Really.” Tsukiyama nods.

Mutsuki lets out a little sob, and that does it. Saiko springs up and embraces him. Even Touka has to smile.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Ayato stands up. “Touka! Does that mean you really are – the rumors – the decaf -”

He turns purple. “I CAN’T HELP HIM!”

“Sit down and shut up,” Yomo mumbles.

Ayato sits.