Au where the ccg create a time portal to the future and out comes touken child in their late teens (choose a name). The boy realizes what happened and refuses to talk to anybody there or answer and questions, only asking to speak to Haise Sasaki. They bring him in with the qs trailing behind and as soon as he sees has he barrels towards him in a bear hug exclaiming “Dad!”

Kaneki Hideyoshi cowers before Washuu Yoshitoki. He recognizes him from the portraits. 

“Where are you from, son?” Yoshitoki’s voice is gentle, but Hide knows better. This man helped cover up Tsuneyoshi’s crimes. 

He’s not trusting him.

And so Hideyoshi hunches over, arms crossed, glaring at the floor. 

“You just appeared out of nowhere. And you’re part ghoul. We’d like to help you, but you need to help us first,” says Uncle Marude.  

Someday you’ll take me motorcycling, Hide wants to tell him, but can’t just yet.

His best chance is finding his way back to the time portal, but to do that, he needs to get out of this interrogation room, and that’s not looking likely.

Mom is gonna kill him for messing with the portal, and he’s okay with that, so long as he’s back in his own time, when humans and ghouls cooperate.

“I need to…to speak to Sasaki Haise,” he manages.

“How do you know him?” Yoshitoki queries.

“I just do. Please.” Hide touches his chin, his famous I’m scared tell. 

Yoshitoki sighs. “Marude, have Kuriowa escort him to the floor.”

“Are you sure?”

“Don’t think we’re getting anywhere otherwise.” Yoshitoki shrugs. 

Hide gasps as Kuriowa Iwao, his girlfriend’s grandfather who died before either were born, enters the room. He’s larger than Hide imagined. 

Iwao frowns at the lanky kid, who gawks at him as if they’ve met before.  But Hide is too scared to say anything as Iwao leads him, handcuffed, to the elevators. Instead, he memorizes every move so he can relay this to his girlfriend.

Once they reach the offices, Iwao knocks on a door. “Sasaki?”

“Hmm?” A purple-haired grump yanks open the door. 

Hide gasps. Uncle Urie! Uncle Mutsuki and Aunt Saiko behind them, and – the Uncle Shirazu he never got to meet. 

“What is it?” A black-and-white, fluffy-haired investigator glances up.

Hide can no longer contain himself. He steps closer, wishing he wasn’t handcuffed, wishing he could reach out. “Dad.”

“Huh?” Saiko’s mouth falls open.

 “Who?” Sasaki looks confused. But…but something about this kid seems familiar after all…

“I’m Hideyoshi, named after Nagachika, and I’m from the future. I know you won’t believe me, but I promise you I am,” Hide begs.

“Huh?”

“Has Takeomi asked Yoriko to marry him yet? Their daughter is my girlfriend,” Hide blurts out, turning to Iwao.

“This is bullshit,” Urie grumbles.

“You like Mutsuki,” Hide shoots back.

Urie turns the color of his hair, Mutsuki gasps, and Shirazu slips an arm around Hide. “I like this kid. He’s like a clairvoyant ghoul.”

“I’m part human, too,” Hide protests. He probably shouldn’t say Mom’s name, lest the CCG search for ghouls named Touka

“Let’s listen.” Shirazu smiles. 

Sasaki hasn’t moved. “Uh.”

“Is it that strange that CCG would build a time portal?” Hide protests.

“No,” Iwao says quietly, to Sasaki’s surprise.

“Fine,” says Sasaki, peering at the kid’s blue, familiar hair, “Let’s listen.”

More sin! Are the guys of Tokyo Ghoul a boob man, an ass man, or a leg man?

Kaneki Ken – boobs. They’re so squishy. 

Nagachika Hideyoshi – like his BFF, he also prefers boobs.

Nishiki Nishio – ass, probably

Tsukiyama Shuu – ass. He does envy boobs, however. 

Koma Enji – all about them legs

Yoshimura Kuzen – He’d probably be more innocent, like a “smile man.”

Yomo Renji – ass, but ashamed of it.

Uta – ass and totally proud of it. 

Tatara – strong legs to kick the enemy.

Kirishima Ayato – boobs, but they also make him laugh so…

Noro – boobs kinda fascinate him 

Yamori – he’ll beat your ass

Naki – shapely legs are delicious in many ways.

Mado Kureo – legs. They’re useful.

Amon Koutarou – boobs. They’re cute. 

Takizawa Seidou – ass. It’s sexy, unlike how he views himself. 

Urie Kuki – strong legs. make yourself useful. 

Mutsuki Tooru – finely sculpted legs.

Shirazu Ginshi – boooobs

Higemaru Touma – quite an ass fan.

Aura Shinsanpei – boobs but like…he’s resigned himself to never seeing them in person.

Washuu Matsuri – Urie’s ass

Washuu Yoshitoki – rather fond of boobs himself

Arima Kishou – boobs both fluster and excite him

Ui Koori – boobs. How do girls move with them? Why are they so pretty? 

Take Hirako – legs are beautiful.

Itou Kuramoto – asses are attractive. if you have it, might as well flaunt it. 

Suzuya Juuzou – he likes how smooth legs are. 

Hanbee Abara – boobs, but they also intimidate him

Mizurou Tamaki – ass 

Miyuki Mikage – legs, legs tall enough to reach his height

Keijin Nakarai – ass and boobs. he chooses both. 

Kuriowa Takeomi – asses fascinate him

Kuriowa Iwao – his wife’s boobs 

Shinohara Yukinori – all about those long legs.

Mougan Tanakamaru – he appreciates a finely sculpted ass. His own, specifically.

Furuta Nimura – Boobs. Rize’s boobs. His own lack of boobs. Boobs. 

The straight/bi boys’ reactions to seeing boobs irl for the first time?

Kaneki Ken – “They’re so squishy.” (canon) 

Nagachika Hideyoshi – CAN I HOLD THEM

Nishiki Nishio – spills coffee on himself

Koma Enji – eyebrow wiggle

Tsukiyama Shuu – Why can’t boys have something so fabulous 

Urie Kuki – I wonder how they’d look on Mutsuki

Shirazu Ginshi – giggles uncontrollably

Higemaru Touma – spends the next day drawing large-breasted monsters 

Aura Shinsanpei – crawls into corner

Amon Koutarou – prays

Takizawa Seidou – squeals with glee

Suzuya Juuzou – huh? those look heavy 

Hanbee Abara – faints

Miyuki Mikage – I wonder if aliens have boobs

Keijin Nakarai – I’ve just met my future wife

Mizurou Tamaki – closes himself in his room for the rest of the day

Shinohara Yukinori – it was his wedding night with his wife. He was very gentle and she was rather fierce and it was beautiful.

Tatara – *draws Houji with boobs, mails it to him*

Houji – what the fuck Tatara – oh my, these look rather nice 

Naki – screams

Yamori – do they hurt if you cut them

Ayato Kirishima – Ayato.exe has stopped working

Yomo Renji – stops breathing

Uta – thinks of them as interesting art/places for tattoos

Arima Kishou – speechless, but a small smile grows on his lips

Nimura Furuta – hello, I’m the bureau director. i like your boobs; can I dominate you? 

Kuriowa Takeomi – “Y- Yoriko – you’re – like – beautiful – and – ah – so many feelings!”

Kuriowa Iwao – That’s nice. 

Ui Koori – blubbering, red-cheeked mess

Hirako Take – am I supposed to be seeing this?

Washuu Yoshitoki – dazzled

Marude Itsuki – clears throat, smooths hair. Hi there. 

Tanakamaru Mougan – Higheerrrrrrrrrrrrr boobs!

Rio – Poke

tokyo ghoul boys as commercials

Kaneki Ken – A trailer for the latest thriller novel from Takatsuki Sen.

Nagachika Hideyoshi – Come to Hawaii, where it’s sunny all the time!

Nishiki Nishio – The latest pharmaceutical. “If you feel like eating human flesh, talk to your doctor. Nishikimiazole may be right for you.”

Koma Enji – An infomercial on how to make the Devil Ape’s Best Coffee.

Tsukiyama Shuu – L’Oreal, because he’s worth it. 

Urie Kuki – Advertising firm for career building.

Mutsuki Tooru – Mental health awareness.

Shirazu Ginshi – He and Haru star in a new ad for a research study on for Rc cell over-secretion. 

Higemaru Touma – Firefighter appreciation. 

Aura Shinsanpei – A trailer for the latest melodrama.

Amon Koutarou – Dunkin’ Donuts

Takizawa Seidou – Antidepressant medication. 

Suzuya Juuzou – Skittles commercial. 

Hanbee Abara – Social anxiety medication. 

Miyuki Mikage – Science museum ad.

Keijin Nakarai – Can you hear me now? Smartphone service. 

Mizurou Tamaki – The best beef steak in Tokyo!

Shinohara Yukinori – Be a mentor or child sponsorship.

Tatara – Spy thriller movie.

Naki – Rent your best white suit ever.

Yamori – Creepy ad for an undefined “research study.” Pulled after 1 air. 

Ayato Kirishima – Axe Body Spray.

Yomo Renji – Visit Re Cafe! 

Uta – Tattoo shop.

Arima Kishou – Glaucoma PSA.

Nimura Furuta – Maybe it’s Maybelline! Or maybe it’s ghoul regeneration! 

Kuriowa Takeomi – Lumberjacking, or eyebrow styling.

Kuriowa Iwao – Sports ad.

Ui Koori – NicoDerm.

Hirako Take – Sad, abused animal PSA set to moving music.

Ihei Shio – the best ice cream in Tokyo.

Yusa Arima – martial arts studio.

Mayazumi – eyebrow styling.

Hajime Hazuki – PTSD medication. 

Washuu Matsuri – A dating app.

Washuu Yoshitoki – Hiking!

Marude Itsuki – the next gun show.

Tanakamaru Mougan – Hairspray.

Character they’re most like-

Perrrrfect.

I’ve sorted the characters according to their introductory affiliation.

Anteiku/Re Affiliates

Kaneki Ken – Quasimodo, The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Nagachika Hideyoshi – Charlotte, The Princess and the Frog

Yoshimura Kuzen – Mufasa, The Lion King

Kamishiro Rize – Megara, Hercules

Kirishima Touka – Nala, The Lion King

Koma Enji – Pumba, The Lion King

Irimi Kaya – Timon, The Lion King

Yomo Renji – Phil, Hercules

Kosaka Yoriko – Princess Anna of Arendelle, Frozen

Hinami Feuguchi – Princess Snow White, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

Nishiki Nishio – Mushu, Mulan

Nishino Kimi – Jane Porter, Tarzan

Tsukiyama Family

Tsukiyama Shuu – Lumeiere, Beauty and the Beast

Karren von Rosewald – Mulan, Mulan

Matsumae – Mrs. Potts, Beauty and the Beast

Mirumo – Fa Zhou, Mulan

Chie Hori – Merida, Brave

Clowns

Uta – Hades, Hercules

Itori – Merryweather, Sleeping Beauty

Hoito Roma – Stepmother Tremaine, Cinderella

Nimura Furuta – Prince Hans, Frozen

Rio/Shikorae – Thomas, Pocahontas

Nico – Iago, Aladdin 

Donato Porpora – Frollo, The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Aogiri Tree

Kirishima Ayato – also Merida, Brave 

Yamori – Shan Yu, Mulan

Tatara – Jafar, Aladdin

Yoshimura Eto – Maleficent, Sleeping Beauty

Noro – Floatsom or Jetsom, The Little Mermaid

CCG

Amon Koutarou – Captain Phoebus, The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Takizawa Seidou – Prince Naveen, The Princess and the Frog

Mado Akira – Esmeralda, The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Houji Kousuke- General Li, Mulan

Mado Kureo – Professor Porter, Tarzan

Marude Itsuki – Zazu, The Lion King

Washuu Yoshitoki – King Stefan, Sleeping Beauty 

Washuu Matsuri – Prince Phillip, Sleeping Beauty

Washuu Tsuneyoshi – The Horned King, The Black Cauldron

Kuriowa Takeomi – Kristoff, Frozen

Kuriowa Iwao – King Hubert, Sleeping Beauty

Aura Kiyoko – Queen Eleanor, Brave

Tanakamaru Mougan – Chien Po, Mulan

Shinohara Yukinori – Maximus, Tangled

Hajime Hazuki – Grumpy, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

Arima Squad

Ihei Hairu – Rapunzel, Tangled

Arima Kishou – Kida, Atlantis

Ui Koori – John Smith, Pocahontas

Take Hirako – Flora, Sleeping Beauty

Ihei Shio – Bambi, Bambi

Arima Yusa – Pascal, Tangled

Souza Rikai – Kahn, Mulan 

Yasuhisa Kurona – Tiana, The Princess and the Frog

Suzuya Squad

Suzuya Juuzou – Rapunzel, Tangled

Keijin Nakarai – Flynn Rider, Tangled

Hanbee Abara – also Thomas, Pocahontas

Miyuki Mikage – Milo, Atlantis

Mizurou Tamaki – Nakoma, Pocahontas

Quinx Squad

Yonebayashi Saiko – Ariel, The Little Mermaid

Shirazu Ginshi – Sebastian, The Little Mermaid

Urie Kuki – Hercules, Hercules

Mutsuki Tooru – Elsa, Frozen

Hsaio Ching-Li – Pocahontas, Pocahontas

Aura Shinsanpei – Scar, The Lion King

Higemaru Touma – Flounder, The Little Mermaid

But consider all of the cast with lightsabers.

Oh my word

I’ve sorted the characters according to their introductory affiliation.

Anteiku/Re Affiliates

Kaneki Ken – After inheriting a very special bright red/Darth Maul two-sided saber from the fallen Rize Kamishiro, he finds himself hunted by the Dark Side.

Nagachika Hideyoshi – His is light blue, like Luke’s. 

Yoshimura Kuzen – He’s long retired his purple lightsaber, except when he brings it out to clean up after his daughter, Darth Owl. It used to be his lover Ukina’s, from whom he learned how to wield it. 

Kamishiro Rize – She was exceptionally skilled with her two-sided saber, but is currently saber-less. 

Kirishima Touka – Hers is dark blue and she wields it well. 

Koma Enji – Green.  

Irimi Kaya – Green. This is why she and Koma first fought in the 20th ward, before Yoshimura convinced them there was room for two green sabers.

Yomo Renji – Darksaber all the way.

Kosaka Yoriko – Yellow-green, but she would rather not use it. 

Hinami Feuguchi – Yellow, two-sided, and she possesses uncanny skill. 

Nishiki Nishio – green and cracked. 

Nishino Kimi – green (this is how she met Nishiki). He then cracked her crystal by accident, and learned the power of love by her forgiveness. 

Tsukiyama Family

Tsukiyama Shuu – the gourmet’s is indigo to match his hair, and he adores it to the point that he talks to it. Still, he pines after Kaneki’s two-sided saber.

Karren von Rosewald – Servants weren’t supposed to have sabers, but Shuu bought her a rose pink one for her birthday one year. She’s loved him ever since.

Matsumae – the family bodyguard possesses a darksaber. It still thrills her every time she lights it.

Mirumo – passed down the indigo saber to Shuu.

Chie Hori – her tiny green saber was so delectable she and Shuu had to be friends.

Clowns

Uta – Darksaber, but with a cracked crystal. He and Yomo used to make a fierce darksaber team. 

Itori – Hers is bright pink but rarely used, unless you’re counting when she gets drunk and waves it about Helter Skelter pretending she’s a Samurai. 

Hoito Roma – She seemed to have an ordinary red saber. Instead she literally has a four-sided saber she uses for utter destruction. 

Nimura Furuta – he started the series by pushing pipes onto Rize so he could steal her lightsaber, but now that Kaneki has inherited it, he hired Kanou to make a duplicate. Someday, though, he will get the real one. 

Rio/Shikorae – is not trusted with one. Probably for the best.

Nico – pink but cracked. 

Donato Porpora – Purple, cracked.

Aogiri Tree

Kirishima Ayato – dark blue, just like Touka. *pouts*

Yamori – Sabers cauterize wounds. That’s boring. 

Tatara – Green – half of a two sided saber. 

Yoshimura Eto – Darth Owl has a fierce purple lightsaber and exceptional skill.

Noro – Darksaber. 

CCG

Amon Koutarou – Blue-white and pure. 

Takizawa Seidou – blue, but he cracked the crystal while insisting he could make his own.

Mado Akira – green. She made her own, nice and neat. 

Houji Kousuke- the second half of Tatara’s green saber is his. This is the root of their enmity. 

Mado Kureo – His fascination with lightsabers has lead him to have a collection of every color, plus every cracked version. He was missing a green one before Akira made hers. 

Marude Itsuki – It used to be yellow. Inspired by Yoshitoki, he also decorated the label. It did not turn out well, but thankfully, Juuzou Suzuya wrecked it. 

Washuu Yoshitoki – yellow. He’s decorated the label. 

Washuu Matsuri – spent half his childhood (literally half) whining for one. Now he has a yellow one and isn’t not as exciting as he hoped. 

Washuu Tsuneyoshi – He wishes it was purple, but alas, his is yellow. 

Kuriowa Takeomi – He got so good at beating ghouls up with his hands his dad was reluctant to hand down their family’s white saber. 

Kuriowa Iwao – He used to have a white saber. Now he has an orange one, because he gave the white one to Takeomi.

Aura Kiyoko – Blue and damn does she use it well.

Tanakamaru Mougan – Pink. He loves the color. 

Shinohara Yukinori – Green, “the color of life,” he used to remind Suzuya.

Hajime Hazuki – white. Someone take it away from him.

Arima Squad

Ihei Hairu – hers is lemon-colored, and she’s nicknamed it “Sunlight.”

Arima Kishou – His is ordinary light blue. But he can beat even the most powerful sabers with his technique. 

Ui Koori – His is green. Sometimes Hairu tells him they’re lemons and limes, and he enjoys this.

Take Hirako – he ordered light blue to match Arima. 

Ihei Shio – Pink. He and Yusa swapped colors. 

Arima Yusa – white. He didn’t care for the color, but Shio really wanted pink.

Souza Rikai – purple, which she’s very proud of. 

Suzuya Squad

Suzuya Juuzou – green and two-sided. He insisted on green to honor Shinohara. 

Keijin Nakarai – Yellow to match his hair.

Hanbee Abara – Darksaber. He feels silly with it.

Miyuki Mikage – Green, like his boss. 

Mizurou Tamaki – Orange

Quinx Squad

Yonebayashi Saiko – light blue, and she enjoys wielding it, because then she gets to pretend she’s someone from Feudal times. 

Shirazu Ginshi – orange, cracked, and he loved it for its imperfections. 

Urie Kuki – purple, but cracked, and the crack is growing bigger.

Mutsuki Tooru – green, and he’s determined to become as skilled as Kaneki. 

Hsaio Ching-Li – dark saber. Beware her skill.

Aura Shinsanpei – his is dark blue, and he’s either way too fierce or too timid with it. There is no middle ground.

Higemaru Touma – pink, and he likes to light it up for no reason other than he enjoys the sound.