“Does Misaki like candy?” Suzuya looks at his pockets, which he has stuffed with Skittles, M&M’s, and chocolate. 

Hanbee pales on his way to answer their door. “My brother is super-strict on sugar.”

“So the answer is yes,” Mizurou says.

Keijin opens the door. 

“Hiiiiiiiiii!” Misaki races in, giggling. “I memorized all your names! Suzuya! Mikage! Mizurou! Keijin! Uncle Hanbeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” 

Keijin looks ill already as Hanbee’s brother and his wife hand over instructions. 

“No sugar,” they emphasize before leaving.

Suzuya looks horrified, but he doesn’t want to interfere with her upbringing. So he tries to shove his jacket in the hall closet. 

“Is that candy?” Misaki’s eyes focus, like lasers, on his pockets.

“Yes, but -”

Suzuya has to dive out of the way as Misaki barrels towards him. “Please! Please! Uncle Hanbee!” 

Hanbee sighs as Suzuya climbs onto the furniture, away from this four-year-old human monster. “We’re screwed.”

“Give it,” Mikage says.

Suzuya sighs with relief and dumps the candy onto the child’s head. It rains down upon her like amazing rain.

“I love you!” she cheers, mouth full of sugar. “Can I see your quinques?”

“Hell no,” Keijin exclaims.

“You swore.” 

Hanbee whimpers. She’ll tell her parents, won’t she? “Uh, sure.”

“Yessssss!” Misaki claps her hands innocently. 

“Here’s Beef.” Mizurou opens his briefcase. 

“Eek! I want one.”

“No,” Hanbee declares.

“Fine.” She pouts. She’s immediately distracted by the sea of candy surrounding her. “Can we make a piñata with all this candy?”

“Yes!” cheers Mikage.

“Good idea,” Suzuya adds.

Paper-mache. Hanbee winces, but he has to admit, he kinda wants to do this too. 

When Misaki’s parents return two days later, they find the Suzuya Squad’s living room coated in plaster and dyes, and candy wrappings in Misaki’s hair.

I can always write for Suzuya Squad, Nonny-Mouse.

“Are we ready?” Suzuya Juuzou whispers.

“All set.” Miyuki Mikage holds up string and a funnel, while Mizorou Tamaki motions to his pile of shaving cream and balloons.

Suzuya giggles, but claps a hand over his mouth when he hears Hanbee Abara stirring inside the room.

“Let’s do this.” Suzuya leaps onto Mikage’s shoulders to tape the funnel above the door. An empty balloon is tied around the funnel, and the remaining string wrapped around the door. Mizurou hands him a water bottle to fill the funnel, and then they’re on to Keijin Nakarai’s room.

Once the shaving cream and balloons are set, the pranksters huddle in the hallway. They still have an hour before their friends are due to awake, but Suzuya is already threatening their plan with his uncontrolled laughter. 

“What’s going on?” Keijin asks sleepily. They hear his feet padding towards the door.

Suzuya straightens. Mikage rubs his palms together, and Mizurou puts his phone on video. 

“Huh?” Keijin notices the string, as Suzuya expected. But curiosity wins out; he still pulls, and promptly shrieks as shaving cream erupts onto his face and into his open mouth.

“Ghouls!” They hear Hanbee scampering for his door. He throws it open, clad only in boxers.

Ice water douses him. Hanbee’s scream reaches a pitch Suzuya’s not sure mankind has heard before.

“Pah! You dirty bastards!” Keijin spits out the shaving cream.

“Suzuya!” Hanbee is rather embarrassed at his nearly naked appearance.

“This means war!” Keijin shakes his fist. “Hanbee, we’ll get them back!”

Suzuya is laughing so hard he’s rolling on the floor, and Mikage has tears streaming down his cheeks. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll only send the video to all the ladies, Hanbee.” Mizurou snaps his phone shut.

Hanbee screams again.

TW for PTSD. 

“You’re an artist,” a CCG Investigator says, admiring Suzuya’s efficiently slain victims. 

Suzuya pauses. 

“He’s an artist already.”

“Rei-chan, you did so well. You get … fifty good boy points!”

Hanbee Abara frowns as Suzuya slips away without saying anything. He’s seen that blank expression before, and usually it ends with Suzuya crying alone in his room. Suzuya thinks his squad doesn’t hear, but they do.

“No one out there will want you, but I do.” Big Madam rubs his hair as he doubles over in pain. Blood seeps out from between his thighs. “Such a good little girl.” 

“I don’t want to be a girl,” he whispers to himself.

“Suzuya?” Keijin Nakarai approaches hesitantly. 

Suzuya stares at the ground. “I wanted to see the giraffes.”

“Hey.” Mizurou Tamaki snaps his fingers. “Back to present, Suzuya. We’re here.”

“Huh?” Suzuya raises his head.

“Are you okay?” Miyuki Mikage wants to hug him, but he’s not sure physical contact is what Suzuya needs.

“I’m a bad boy,” he says, beginning to cry. “Rei.”

“No. No, you’re not.” Keijin grabs their leader and wrestles him into an embrace. “You’re Juuzou.”

“And we like your name,” says Mikage.

“And we like you,” adds Hanbee, joining the hug.

“We think of you as a good, strong leader boy,” says Mizurou. 

“We love you, Suzuya,” Hanbee says.

Suzuya sniffles. His eyes are wide. “Do you?”

“Yes,” declares Keijin.

“I love you all, too.” Suzuya begins to sob. “Can you just – hold me – I miss Shinohara, and sometimes I miss Big Madam – and sometimes I hate myself -”

“We know, we know.” Keijin rocks Suzuya back and forth.

“There’s nothing that’s been done to you that takes away your value,” Mizurou assures Suzuya.

“We love you,” Hanbee repeats. It’s all he can say.

But Suzuya smiles, even if ever so weakly, and Hanbee thinks maybe it’s enough.