Touka going around the base with a sexy bunny outfit to get kaneki attention

Kaneki first notices that something is wrong when he finds Ayato a babbling, crying mess in Hinami’s room.

Hinami directs him to Nishiki, who proves unhelpful. All Nishiki delivers is a sly smile.

“Kaneki! Tres bien!” wails Tsukiyama, entering the room.

“What is happening?” Kaneki nearly shrieks.

“YOU WILL FIND OUT, MY DEAR!” Tsukiyama dances off, mumbling French phrases to himself.

Thoroughly confused, Kaneki wanders off to find Banjou with a nosebleed, Naki with a migraine, Koma winking at him, and Irimi wiggling her eyebrows.

“Help me,” says Kaneki. “I don’t understand.”

Someone’s hands latch onto his shoulders, and Kaneki turns around to see Yomo, sweating and looking more horrified than Ayato.

“Okay, Ren, sit down. Kaneki, get thee gone,” Irimi says.

Kaneki ducks out of Yomo’s grasp and hurries down the corridor. What is –

“Why hello there, King.” A rabbit-eared Touka dressed in a skimpy, lacy pink costume strides around the corner.

“T-T-T-touka-chan?” Kaneki’s brain ceases function.

“You all needed to be shocked out of your mopey funks,” Touka purrs. “Come with me. It’s time to take a few hours off work.”

Kaneki eagerly allows her to drag him to their chambers.

How Anteiku sleeps with so

I was unsure if you meant sleep in the SFW or NSFW sense, so I did both!

SFW

Kaneki Ken – he loves to lay his head on his partner’s chest or lap.

Kirishima Touka – She is the big spoon.

Fueguchi Hinami – if they’re not hugging her what’s the point of sleeping together?

Nishiki Nishio – must be facing his SO, so their face is the first thing he will see.

Nishino Kimi – holding hands.

Tsukiyama Shuu – constantly uses French and English phrases to praise his SO even in his sleep.

Renji Yomo – he’s a cuddler. Arms firmly wrapped around his so, pressing them close to his chest.

Uta – will probably use his kagune to cocoon the two of them together.

Yoshimura Kuzen – one gentle arm strewn across his beloved.

Enji Koma – he’s kind of an acrobat in his sleep, so they might need space between them.

Irimi Kaya – they must each be piled under a mountain of blankets, no matter how warm it is.

NSFW

Kaneki Ken – has a habit of crying with happiness afterwards. more passionate in the bedroom than he is at most other points in his life.

Kirishima Touka – She loves experimenting different positions.

Fueguchi Hinami – gentle, butterfly position sex is her favorite.

Nishiki Nishio – roleplaying is fun.

Nishino Kimi – is a fan of sex in the morning.

Tsukiyama Shuu – will pepper his beloved with praise the entire time.

Renji Yomo – he’s hesitant and afraid he will hurt them, and very emotional.

Uta – cracks jokes, tries crazy moves, probably fond of some bdsm.

Yoshimura Kuzen – very sweet.

Enji Koma – will use his kagune to add extra spice.

Irimi Kaya – fierce. lovemaking is its own kind of battle.

Pregnant Touka twist ankle

“God dammit!” yells Touka, stumbling into Nishiki. They’re setting up a new coffee shop inside CCG, which is now the Commission for Cooperation with Ghouls and run by former CCG and Goat members alike.

“Your wife can’t help falling into my arms, Kaneki,” Nishiki quips.

“Nishiki, do we need to have the ‘be nice to women growing babies’ talk again?” asks Kimi from the counter she’s scrubbing.

“No,” he grumbles. “Touka, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Touka shoves him away, only to nearly fall. She grabs Nishiki to keep from hitting the floor. “I think I twisted my ankle.”

“Let me see,” says Kimi, dropping her sponge. Nishiki held Touka settle into a chair, and Kimi prods her ankle. “Hmm. Doesn’t look broken, so I imagine it’ll heal soon.”

“I hope.” Touka wipes her brow. This pregnancy is sure taking a toll on her healing abilities.

“What’s going on?” Yomo, Ayato, and Kaneki enter the shop. Kaneki immediately flies to Touka’s side.

“Nothing,” Touka says.

“She twisted her ankle,” says Nishiki.

“Traitor!”

“Typical Touka,” says Ayato with a smirk.

Touka narrows her eyes.

“Do I really need to have this conversation with you, too, Ayato?” Kimi asks with a sigh.

“You don’t want it,” Nishiki assures him.

“What conversation?” Ayato is thoroughly confused.

“Never mind. Kaneki, do me a favor and slap my brother.” Touka grins. If it means trolling Ayato, she’s going to milk this ankle as much as she can.

Crack head cannon (which is really just a contraction of a previous crack head cannon): Ui Koori doesn’t help with the rumors surrounding the Quinx mentor, and to anyone that askes, he’ll tell them it’s cruella deville’s psychotic cousin

It begins with an un-caffeinated Ui, out of cigarettes and fresh out of bed.

“Ui, who is Sasaki?” asks Yusa.

“Cruella DeVille’s psychotic cousin,” Ui grumbles.

Yusa’s eyes widen, and he races off. Ui slides into his seat, not thinking much of their exchange.

An hour later, Shio appears. “Ui sir, who is Sasaki?”

“The Quinx Leader,” Ui says simply.

Shio pouts. “Why are you boring with me? You told Yusa something funny!”

“I did?” Ui thinks for a second. “Hmm…okay, Sasaki is Maleficent’s brother. Complete with the dragon.”

Shio claps his hands in approval.

Rikai is only five minutes behind Shio. “Who is Sasaki?”

“The personification of decaf coffee and e-cigarettes,” Ui replies, staring straight into her eyes.

Finally, he can get back to work.

“Kooriiiiiii,” sings a voice. Hairu waltzes in, and Ui brightens immediately. “I have something for you.”

“Yes?”

Hairu holds out a sugar cube.

Ui takes it eagerly, but gags after it settles on his tongue. “Hairu!”

“It’s a salt cube! Just like you,” Hairu cheers.

“You heard what I was saying about Sasaki, didn’t you?” Ui complains, spitting out the cube.

“Yup.” Hairu softens. “Be nice, okay, Salt-senpai?” She offers him two more cubes. “I promise these are real sugar this time.”

The quinx squad tries to force Shirazu and Urie to get along without arguing/fighting

“This is a fucking joke, right?” Urie is too horrified to move.

“Nope,” says Sasaki. Mado and Arima stand behind him, arms crossed like they mean business.

“No!” wails Shirazu.

“Keep in mind, you had chances to avoid this.” Akira steps closer, and Saiko presses her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.

Urie shoots her a murderous glare. She squeaks and hides behind Mutsuki. “There’s no way. No fucking way.”

Takeomi will see me.

“Well, there’s no way you’ll ever do anything from desk work from now on,” says Sasaki sweetly. “Unless.”

He waves the monstrosity in his hands about. A giant shirt reading This is Our Get Along Shirt.

“I thought that existed only in memes,” Shirazu wails.

“Not anymore.” Sasaki waves the two doomed Quinx forward.

It’s tight and awkward. Urie can’t believe he’s going to spend the rest of today chained by cotton to this mouth-breather.

Saiko doubles over laughing, no longer afraid of either of them. “And here you all thought I was the problem!”

“That reminds me,” says Sasaki. He snaps his fingers.

Akira holds out a This is Our Hard Work Shirt, and Arima waves a This is Our Face Our Fear Shirt.

“You’ll each be paired with Akira and Arima, respectively. It was only fair,” says Sasaki.

crack head cannon; when sasaki was first released from chochela, koori ui still called him by his prison id and Arima told him to play nice with the other kids while haise stared off at the security cameras like he was on the office

“Number 240,” Ui says, “do you have the paperwork ready? I can help you fill it out.”

Sasaki frowns at him, as if he knows there’s something wrong with what Ui just said, but can’t for the life of him figure it out.

“No, think you,” says Sasaki.

Ui does not trust him. He still knew enough to recognize his prison code. How can Arima really trust him? He’s a ghoul.

“Sassan, would you like a melon pun?” Hairu skips into their office, a large, sweet-smelling bag in her hand. “I bought them for the kids, but there’s plenty for us, too.”

“We love you, Hairu,” says Shio, rushing towards his cousin.

“Thank you,” says Sasaki as everyone, even Arima, crowds around Hairu.

“Ui, are you not hungry?” Hairu turns to him with her eyes wide.

“I just…don’t trust 240,” Ui complains.

“Ui, play nice with the other kids,” Arima says before returning to his desk with a melon bun clutched in his hand.

Sasaki forces a smile. Not that he entirely understands, but he knows Ui doesn’t like him and Arima has apparently defended him.

crack head canon: before the quinx met their mentor. classmates were telling them all the rumors surrounding him. (like he is from chochela, he is insane, he is a murderer, etc.) and they are get a picture of who their mentor is gonna be in their heads and then they meet the cheerful haise ‘i cry at the sad dog commercials’ sasaki

“I hear he’s insane,” says Shirazu with a lazy grin.

“I hear he’s a ghoul, so I don’t give a damn,” Urie grunts. He leans back against the wall, crossing his arms.

“I’m sure they wouldn’t let a murderer lead us,” says Mutsuki, biting his lip. Yeah, and they wouldn’t let a murderer be a Quinx, right?

Saiko yawns. “I don’t care. If he’s a feral killer ghoul, at least he’s interesting that way.”

“I hate you,” Urie says.

“We know,” Shirazu replies.

Mutsuki covers his ears, and Urie rolls his eyes.

Someone raps firmly on the conference room door.

“Come in!” Shirazu forces a grin.

Washuu Yoshitoki enters, followed by a young man with black and white hair. The man is wiping his eyes. “I’m sorry for my disarray. Mado just showed me the saddest puppy commercial.”

Shirazu’s mouth falls open.

Saiko feels disappointed.

“Anyhow, I’m Sasaki Haise. Your new mentor!” Sasaki holds out his hand to Mutsuki with a smile. “You’re Mutsuki Tooru, right?”

Mutsuki nods, dumbfounded. Sasaki is normal! Sasaki likes him!

“And you’re Shirazu Ginshi?”

“Y-yes. Such a pleasure to meet you,” Shirazu stammers.

“I’m Yonebayashi Saiko. Otherwise known as “the girl,” I’m sure.” Saiko smirks and flutters her fingers towards Sasaki. He blushes. What a cinnamon roll.

“And you must be Urie Kuki.”

Urie says nothing, but his eyes remain narrowed at Sasaki. Whatever you’re hiding, you disgustingly cheerful bucket, I’m gonna find it.

Yoriko is pregnant and the first person she tells is Touka when they meet up for the first time in years

“Touka.” Yoriko stands across from her best friend, each of their husbands by their side.

“Yoriko.” Touka tries to adorn the tough face she always wore in high school.

“I missed you.” Yoriko wipes a tear.

“I missed you too!” Touka bursts out, throwing herself forward and embracing Yoriko. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry – I just wanted to keep you safe.”

“I know. I’m sorry i never noticed – and forced you to eat – I thought you really liked my cooking,” Yoriko confesses.

“I mean, it was the most tolerable human food I’d ever eaten,” Touka promises.

Yoriko snorts, but a smile emerges on her face.

“We watched your wedding,” Kaneki says lightly.

“From the hill overlooking the church. You were beautiful,” Touka confirms.

Yoriko claps her hands over her mouth. “Really? Oh, I wish you could have been my bridesmaid.”

“I wish you could have been mine,” Touka says, nodding to Kaneki.

Yoriko clears her throat. “Will you at least be my baby’s godmother?”

“Yoriko!” Touka gasps. “Are you – you’re pregnant!”

Yoriko nods eagerly. Behind her, Takeomi blushes.

“Congratulations,” Kaneki says weakly.

“Oh, come on.” Touka pokes Kaneki’s nose. “I’ll do it, Yoriko, if you’re our baby’s godmother.”

“Seriously?” Yoriko shrieks. “Our kids will be best friends!”

Touka hugs her again as Takeomi and Kaneki engage in a firm handshake. “Well, looks like we’ll have to be best friends, too,” Takeomi quips.

Kaneki’s reaction to Touka in heels <3

– He is immediately excited, if you catch my drift.

– He’s also mildly afraid that she can actually balance in those death traps. Touka is a wonderful, mysterious creature who happens to be his wife.

– He teases her that she’s now at a suitable height. Her response is to pull his face down and kiss him while he’s “short.”

– He silently admires her legs and the fact that this amazing female has chosen him, loves him. Basically, he’s grateful.

– If she fends off an attacking ghoul or two during their night out, she will absolutely stab with her heels and Kaneki will absolutely propose.

– To which she’ll reply that they’re already married, but he can’t help himself.

– He secretly hopes she loses a shoe on the stairs so he can put it back on and tell her “the shoe fits,” Cinderella style.

What the TG characters want for Christmas

I’ve sorted the characters according to their introductory affiliation.

Anteiku/Re Affiliates

Kaneki Ken – to be safe

Nagachika Hideyoshi – to see Kaneki again

Yoshimura Kuzen – Eto’s forgiveness

Kamishiro Rize – freedom and food

Kirishima Touka – Kaneki to be free of the worm

Koma Enji – to be alive

Irimi Kaya – a puppy

Yomo Renji – His niece and nephew safe

Kosaka Yoriko – To see Touka again

Hinami Feuguchi – for everyone she loves to be happy

Nishiki Nishio – to kiss Kimi

Nishino Kimi – a world where ghouls and humans live in harmony

Tsukiyama Family

Tsukiyama Shuu – A taste of Kaneki

Karren von Rosewald – Tsukiyama’s love

Matsumae – the family’s safety

Mirumo – his son’s happiness

Chie Hori – another camera

Clowns

Uta – eyeball snacks. Maybe a kiss from Yomo.

Itori – blood wine!

Hoito Roma – to belong

Nimura Furuta – his father’s approval

Rio/Shikorae – his brother

Nico – makeup

Donato Porpora – a reunion with Amon

Aogiri Tree

Kirishima Ayato – Hinami’s coffee. Maybe Hinami.

Yamori – kagune pliers

Tatara – Houji’s head, but really his siblings back

Yoshimura Eto – the world’s obedience

Noro – life

Miza Kusakari – nothing bad to happen anymore

Naki – to see Yamori again

Hakatori – a new quinque

Banjou Kazuichi – a hug

CCG

Amon Koutarou – to be a good person

Takizawa Seidou – to be human again

Mado Akira – internal peace

Houji Kousuke – a break from murder investigators

Mado Kureo – to kill the one-eyed owl and make their kagune into his quinque

Marude Itsuki – assurance that Yoshitoki was actually his friend

Washuu Yoshitoki – a vacation

Washuu Matsuri – Urie

Washuu Tsuneyoshi – nothing good.

Kuriowa Takeomi – Yoriko’s cooking

Kuriowa Iwao – his son’s happiness

Aura Kiyoko – Aura to calm down

Tanakamaru Mougan – hairspray

Shinohara Yukinori – to see his family again

Itou Kuramoto – a practical joke book

Kurona Yasuhisa – Shiro

Hajime Hazuki – to be a renowned badass

Mayazumi – eyebrow liner

Arima Squad

Ihei Hairu – Arima’s smile

Arima Kishou – atonement

Ui Koori – Hairu resurrected

Take Hirako – Shio and Rikai’s resurrection

Arima Yusa – a peaceful world

Ihei Shio – a pet reindeer

Souza Rikai – flowers

Suzuya Squad

Suzuya Juuzou – Mr. Shinohara to awaken

Keijin Nakarai – recognition

Hanbee Abara – to marry Suzuya

Miyuki Mikage – an alien encounter

Mizurou Tamaki – a girlfriend

Quinx Squad

Yonebayashi Saiko – no one dying anymore

Shirazu Ginshi – Haru’s healing

Urie Kuki – Mutsuki’s safety

Mutsuki Tooru – to be safe and happy

Hsaio Ching-Li – Saiko’s affection

Aura Shinsanpei – Kaneki’s head, or his aunt’s approval

Higemaru Touma – to save the world