crack head cannon: ken kaneki’s full name is kenneth kaneki and touka calls him kenneth when she is mad, annoyed, or as a last resort when she repeatedly tries to get his attention. Quinx squad witness it for the first time and they think its the funniest shit cause he’s never heard of sasaki’s real full name before that.

“I’m hungry,” Touka mumbles, rubbing her swollen belly. She reclines on the sofa in the Chateau, feeling like a beautiful whale. She’s eight months pregnant and not very happy right now. But Saiko and Hsaio just did her toenails, and she’s never had nail polish before.

Mutsuki leaps to his feet, but Touka shakes her head. “Let Ken handle it.”

Kaneki is conferring with Higemaru and Urie across the room.

“Ken?” Touka calls.

He doesn’t appear to hear over Higemaru’s excited chatter.

“He’s literally showing Kaneki his monster drawings,” Aura says.

“Ken.” Touka narrows her eyes and clears her throat. “KENNETH!”

Kaneki jumps. “Touka? Is it time? What’s wrong?”

“I want Rc chips.” Touka pouts.

“Coming right up!” He putters into the kitchen, and Saiko finally releases her peals of laughter.

“Kenneth?” Aura cries in disbelief. “You’ve got to be shitting me.”

“Like the Barbie doll?” Urie grins wickedly.

“Yup.” Touka holds a finger to her lips. “Don’t tell him I told you.”

So of course, the moment Kaneki hurries back into the den, all the Quinx chime in, “Hiiiiiii Kenneth.”

I have an weird ship about Oneshot!Kaneki and TokyoGhoul!Touka, if it’s possible can i have hcs on them?

– Oneshot!Neki really enjoys Touka stroking his eight-pack. And she really enjoys it too.

– He’s still a boobs man, and still left in aw at Touka’s ukaku agility.

– Touka still fell for him the day she attacked the doves. Oneshot!Neki told her he’d care if she died, and that he would have helped her come up with a better plan to kill them so she wouldn’t risk herself.

– Oneshot!Neki fell for Touka one day when she confronted him about killing people. She asked if they were both bad for killing people in anger and suggested that they should try to never kill people again. He that they would work together to avoid killing in general, but it might sometimes be necessary if CG came for them. He admired this ghoul who dared him to kill even less than he already did.

– Oneshot!Neki teases Touka back a lot more than TG!Neki. They sometimes have food-throwing contests when no customers are in.

– Touka teases him endlessly on his fake smile. She can tell when he’s genuine and when he’s not, and to him, this is one of her most treasured characteristics.

What does Yoshimura think of each of the Antreiku members? I always had a feeling Yoshimura is the kind of guy who silently judges you, but with love

Kaneki Ken – Likes him, though his attitude towards ghouls and eating people is sad at times, even though Yoshimura understands it. He has great hopes for his future.

Kirishima Touka – He adores Touka like she was his own daughter. Her tough attitude might aggravate others, but he knows where it comes from. He worries for her impulsiveness and ships her with Kaneki.

Kirishima Ayato – Misses the kid. Recognizes his angst. Wants him to come home.

Fueguchi Hinami – Concerned about how traumatized she must be. Wants to emphasize her kind spirit to keep her out of trouble.

Yomo Renji – Yomo is his secret keeper. He admires Yomo for turning his life around, yet not entirely working at Anteiku. He thinks Yomo has a soft heart, and he’s right.

Uta – Doesn’t trust him worth a damn, but he’s good for Renji.

Nishiki Nishio – Finally he gets to meet the infamous Nishiki. Concerned about his romance with Kimi and very invested in a happy ending.

Nishino Kimi – Very worried for her romance with Nishiki, but admires her devotion.

Irimi Kaya – his most dependable worker. He thinks she’s brilliant, harsh, and beautiful, like a winter morning. He ships her and Koma.

Koma Enji – his most entertaining worker, and a good friend. When are he and Irimi going to get together?

….Yoshimura as Obi-Wan and Kaneki as Luke? I neeeeeeeeeeeeeed more star wars crossovers

“I must be one or the other!” Kaneki Luke cries.

“No. Only a Sith deals in absolutes. You may be both human, and ghoul,” says Obi-Wan Yoshimura.

—————————————–

“Strike me down, and I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine,” Obi-Wan Yoshimura says to the reaper of death, Darth Arima. All around him, CCG forces gather. He can’t walk away from this. He will die in front of Anteiku…and Kaneki.

Arima’s IXA pierces Yoshimura’s kagune.

“NOOOOOOOOOO!” screams Kaneki, lunging forward into the hands of CCG.

——————————————-

“Did Yoshimura tell you about the One-Eyed King?” demands Darth Arima.

Kaneki clutches the cell door. His eyes are put out. He can’t see, and all they call him is 240. Why does this death god seek him out? “He told me you killed him!”

“No, I am the One-Eyed King.” Arima holds out his hand. “Join me, and we can better the world of humans and ghouls!”

Kaneki shakes his head. He can’t believe himself good enough. And so he falls, falls, falls…into his cell at Cochlea.

—————————————-

“So, you have a friend waiting for you at a cafe. Perhaps I shall target her next.” Darth Arima mocks.

“NO!” Kaneki unfurls his kagune. He and Arima fight madly as Bureau Emperor Tsuneyoshi cackles in the distance.

Finally Kaneki pierces Arima’s armor. Arima falls. His eyes stare up at Kaneki – or one does. His other is blank, as if he cannot see, as if he really is One-Eyed.

Kaneki hesitates. He won’t be like Arima.

“Good, good, let the hate flow through you. Kill him, my new apprentice!” Tsuneyoshi approaches.

Kaneki straightens. Compassion floods his veins. “No. I will oppose you with everything I have.”

“Well then.” Tsuneyoshi begins to transform into an enormous kakuja. He throws Kaneki to the ground.

Against his will, Kaneki screams. Tsuneyoshi is tearing him apart inside – “Arima! One-Eyed King! Help me!”

Arima lunges to his feet, throws himself before Tsuneyoshi. His father’s kakuja digs into his chest.

Suddenly, Tsuneyoshi collapses as a sword pierces his heart.

“I’m sorry,” says Furuta, cheerfully sticking another sword in his father, “did I miss something?”

——————————————

Kaneki drags Arima out of CCG. “I won’t let you die. I will save you!”

“You…already have, my One-Eyed King.” Arima smiles at Kaneki as the light fades from his eyes.

crack head canon: After the club night with everyone dressed as women, the party goers crash in the living room. Urie comes down stairs the next morning and doesn’t recognize anyone except saiko. He asks about what happened and shizaru replies. Relization hits him like a brick and he backs away to his room with a single “forget I even asked”

“L-O-L what even happened last night?” Urie gazes in shock at the ladies Saiko has invited over. “You should have told me you were planning a sleepover.”

“Oh shut up, Urie,” Saiko grumbles, rubbing her eyes from where she’s flopped across an orange-haired girl.

A sexy green-haired woman stretches on the floor, accidentally nudging the pale-haired girl asleep in their chair awake.

“You don’t wanna know,” says the orange-haired woman in Shirazu’s voice.

Urie’s mouth pops open. His eyes bug. That’s Mutsuki on the floor and Sasaki in the chair.

“You should have come with us, Urie,” Sasaki says. God dammit, how does their Squad Leader wear his makeup better than Saiko? And those are definitely fake eyelashes!

Urie’s breath comes quicker. His throat closes. “Ack – forget I asked!”

“Scareeeeeed?” Shirazu teases as Urie flies upstairs.

“Yes!” He screams.

Crack head cannon: cochela doesn’t give prisoners haircuts, so when sasaki was released his hair was quite long and at first glance he could easily pass as a woman. During the tour around the ccg squad zero kids don’t help and further solidify to passerby’s that the new squad member is a girl much to Haises annoyance. Next day he comes in with a haircut. Everyone was left to believe the lady quit after her first day and tease Arima for years. Until Arima tells the story at Haises x mas party.

lollololololololllllllllllllllll

“Okay, okay, you think Hajime’s a brat, but do you know what the Squad Zero kids did?” demands Ui. His arm is almost, but not quite, around Hairu’s shoulders. Propriety. Yeah, that’s it.

“Do tell,” says Akira, clutching her seventh glass of wine.

“Please don’t,” says Sasaki.

“Arima, tell it.” Saiko winks. She’s heard Arima is a legendary storyteller, too.

Arima winces. “Well…”

“Come on, out with it.” Hairu giggles. Rikai, Yusa, and Shio bury their heads in their hands.

“So.” Arima sits down. “One long day, our Squad was gifted with a new investigator. Their hair was white and flowed to their shoulders. Shiny as a shampoo commercial.”

Sasaki’s face is now crimson.

“And then, our darling prodigies decided to introduce everyone to ‘the new woman in our squad.’”

“I was excited to have someone think we had three females,” Rikai insists.

“Was I not enough?” Hairu counters.

“Take me,” says Saiko.

“This new woman vanished the next day, and coincidentally, we replaced them wth Sasaki Haise.” Arima sips his tea. “Or so the Bureau Legend goes.”

Urie rolls his eyes. A grin spreads over Shirazu’s face.

“You mean that story isn’t true?” Mutsuki asks.

“Ask the lady.” Arima points to Sasaki. “Amazing what the power of a haircut can do.”

“You!” Akira doubles over laughing.

“You kids were such a handful!” Ui shakes his head at the three junior investigators.

“Don’t ruin our urban legend,” Shio begs. “Keep it quiet.”

“We are powerful masters of myth,” Yusa intones.

“Madam Sasaki, may I have this dance?” Shirazu sticks out his hand.

“Sure.” Sasaki grabs Shirazu and spins him in a circle as everyone laughs.

AlL tHe AnTeIkU HeAdCaNoNs

YoUr WiSh iS My CoMmaNd

– Yoshimura started shipping Touken from the moment Touka introduced Kaneki to him.

– The first time Nishiki met Yomo, he saw him dragging in another body he’d scavenged. He was immediately determined to gain the approval of this strong ghoul, which led to several embarrassing attempts at conversation. This ended when Touka randomly walked up to Yomo and was like “just fucking talk dude.”

– Yomo talked. For Touka’s sake. He was a bit leery of this violent ghoul who had attacked Touka and Kaneki. And who reminded him of his own youth.

– Anteiku held a small celebration for Hinami’s birthday that ended in a kagune wrestling contest between Hinami’s and Yomo’s. He let her win.

– Irimi once tried to teach Touka and Hinami about girl stuff. It was torture for all involved.

– Koma once held a “guy’s night” for Nishiki, Kaneki, and Yomo. Uta was not invited but showed up regardless. They spent most of their time doing obstacle courses Koma had invented for them. Yomo won, but Nishiki came in second, and he has never let anyone forget that.

– Irimi held a “girl’s night” at the same time. Touka, Hinami, and Kimi came, and Itori crashed, to all of their delight. Itori and Hinami had a brief pact to get Touka to admit her feelings for Kaneki. They were unsuccessful.

Continuation of Mutsuki/Sasaki where Sasaki wants to get the Qs interested in reading/writing fiction after reading haiku’s with Mutsuki and having a great time and they’re not having it so Mutsuki persuades them into participating for his Sensei

“Ooh, are you sure?” Mutsuki grins. He loves reading fairy tales. He can’t believe Sasaki wants to read them, too.

“Yes,” says Sasaki. “It’d be great bonding time.”

“Would it?” Shirazu asks nervously. “I mean, some of those stories are dark shit.”

“Those are the best ones.” Saiko’s eyes sparkle. She, at least, is on board.

“Not a chance.” Urie crosses his arms. “I’m not reading little brat stories. Jesus.”

“Well, now we know who’s getting struck by lightning at the end of this story,” Sasaki jokes. Urie flushes.

“I’d like to. I think it’d be fun. Something lighthearted for after battle or something,” says Mutsuki, drawing his knees to his chest.

“Nah,” Urie says.

“Could we study the stories, then write our own?” Shirazu asks.

“Yes!” Mutsuki nods.

“Then I’m on board.”

“Have fun.” Urie stands.

“Wait,” Sasaki says.

“Urie,” begs Mutsuki. “Pleeeeeeease.”

“Nope.”

“Please.” Saiko falls prostate at Urie’s feet. Mutsuki clings to Urie’s legs. Shirazu even gets on his knees.

“It’d mean a lot to me,” Mutsuki stammers.

Urie sighs. “Fine. Just, fine. You better pick a good story, Sasaki.”

“Hurray!” Saiko and Mutsuki high-five. Sasaki smiles at Mutsuki with gratitude.

And now Mutsuki feels like he’s floating in a fairy tale.

Scenario with pregnant Touka at the beach

“I feel like a whale,” Touka mutters, stretching out on the sizzling sand.

“You’re beautiful!” Kaneki cries, rubbing more sunscreen into her shoulders.

“Meh.” Touka pokes her seven-months-pregnant belly. “Well, the kid’s awake, so they must love the beach.”

“Good.” Kaneki pats her stomach.

“Touka!” Hinami and Ayato race back from the boardwalk. “Here, we got you ice.”

Hinami shoves a snow cone in Touka’s face. It hasn’t been more than two weeks that ghouls have been able to eat human food. And Touka has, correspondingly, not been able to get enough of sugar.

“Isn’t it good?” Kaneki asks eagerly as his wife takes a bite.

Touka closes her eyes with pleasure. “This is amazing. Humans are so creative.”

Ayato snorts, but he’s also nursing his own chocolate ice cream cone, so he can’t tease her too much.

“Want to go for a walk in the surf, Onee-chan?” Hinami asks.

“Ayato, when are you going to make Touka officially Hinami’s Onee-chan?” Kaneki whispers as his wife saunters off with Hina.

“Not before I stab you.” He sticks out his tongue.

———————————-

Touka sniffs the salty, sweet air as surf pounds around her ankles. “The water feels good on my feet.”

“Good.” Hinami smiles.

“I’m still gonna play volleyball when Akira and Amon get here,” Touka grouses.

“Obviously. With your ukakus, you and Ayato will dominate,” Hinami says with a smirk.

“I don’t know, if the Quinx show up to help Akira, we’re done,” Touka jokes. Her snow cone dribbles around her lips, red as blood.

Hinami giggles as two figures wave from down the beach. “That’ll be Akira and Amon.”

Touka grins as they draw closer. “Hey there.”

Amon nearly chokes.

“Huh?” Touka’s eyes widen with the realization.

Akira elbows him with a laugh. “Amon, dear, it’s a snow cone.”

“I’m sorry!” Amon exclaims. He doesn’t want to make her feel any worse. Really.

Touka flicks cherry syrup onto his face. “There. Now we’re even.”

how would kaneki, hide, ayato, and yomo feel abt their s/o having breast implants? would they care or would it bother them in any way? headcannons please and tyyy

Ooh interesting.

Kaneki

– As long as they’re still squeezable, Kaneki will not care.

– He might be more sensitive to any struggles you have with your appearance, however, regardless of whether that is warranted.

– He’ll be careful to comment on how beautiful you are whenever he touches them.

Hide

– “Wait why? You’re beautiful no matter your breast size.”

– Once you explain that it was your choice and you wanted this, he’ll just be super supportive. “I chose you for larger boobs or smaller.”

– He’ll be super interested in the science behind breast implants and their material.

Ayato

– Ayato might be appalled at first, because the only plastic surgery remarks he’s heard before haven’t exactly been compassionate or knowledgeable. So, to him, why would anyone have plastic surgery?

– Once you explain exactly what it means, and that it was not something you did on a whim, he’ll relax. It’s no different than a tattoo to him. He’ll like you even more for your uniqueness.

– He’ll be super excited to touch them.

Yomo

– Like Kaneki, he’s mostly concerned that you might be insecure about your appearance.

– If you are, he’ll be supportive. If you’re not, he’ll be relieved. He’ll definitely say he only cares how it affects you, and it doesn’t change his opinion of you in the least.

– Either way, he too will enjoy your chest a little bit more now. 😉