Request! A cute little story about how the other q-squad members meet Touka for the first time when they inevitably pair up to fight dragoneki and they think she is beautiful. Then later the find out she is Sasaki’s wife and they’re all like “HOLY FUCK” except Saiko who is screaming “FUCK YEAH!” (Couldn’t get this scenario out of my head lol)

“She’s so cute,” Hsaio whispers to Saiko, watching the little ghoul bark out orders to the rest of Sasaki’s GOAT.

Saiko nods eagerly. She’ll gladly follow this badass lady into battle.

“Alright, Yonebayashi.” Touka puts her hands on her hips. “Let’s save your Maman.”

Higemaru giggles and blushes like a fool.

“What are you staring at? Go back up your squad,” Touka orders. But Higa can see relief in her eyes, relief that they too care about her friend Kaneki.

“What should I do?” Urie Kuki approaches.

“You stay with me and Tsukiyama. We’re gonna distract this beast while Yonebayashi uses her kagune to cut it out.” Touka and Tsukiyama activate their kagunes.

“Oh, and please do something about your green hair friend and his dramatic counterpart!” Touka adds.

“Mutsuki?” Urie’s eyes widen. “I haven’t seen him all day.”

“He’s not back?” Touka looks unsettled. Relieved, but unhappy all at once.

“Let’s focus.” Tsukiyama lifts his koukaku. “Let’s see if Quinxes are all they cracked up to be.”

“My kagune is bigger,” Urie snaps.

Touka can’t resist a laugh, even in all this despair. She sends shards of Rc cells into the dragon. I’ll rescue you yet. “Ken was right about you.”

Hsaio and Higemaru swoop in and deal the first blows to the dragon’s neck.

Saiko fashions her kagune into a claw and sinks deep, deep into the dragon’s flesh. It screams, but Touka keeps firing Rc shards, and Tsukiyama and Urie protect her from any falling debris.

“GOT HIM!” Saiko howls. She rips Kaneki Ken’s limp body from the dragon. It begins to fall, and Hsaio and Higa grab for her.

“Look out!” Touka uses her ukaku to fly for Saiko, at the same time –

no –

Aura Shinsanpei flies for her. “Get the asshole. I’ll get her!”

Touka obeys as Mutsuki scrambles up to Urie. “What happened?! Why are you working with – with her? Don’t you know she’s the reason Sensei left?”

Tsukiyama laughs as Touka and Aura touch back onto the ground, one cradling Kaneki, the other holding Saiko. “She’s not the reason at all. But she may be the reason he lives thus far.”

“Huh?” Urie frowns.

“Tsukiyama!”

Tsukiyama, of course, ignores her. “Touka and Kaneki are married.”

Mutsuki gulps and has the decency to look guilty. Aura flushes.

“HOLY FUCK!” yells Urie.

“No way!” Higemaru does a happy dance.

“That gives me hope,” says Hsaio.

“FUCK YEAH!” Saiko wraps Touka and Maman in a hug.

Touka laughs. Perhaps, so long as Mutsuki isn’t still trying to kill her, she can get used to Kaneki’s strange, strange family.

I’m weird, but could I request Kaneki/Furuta scenario?

Not weird at all!

“Kanekiiiiii,” whines Furuta. “I’m lonely.”

“Furuta, I just got up.” Kaneki pulls his shirt on.

“I’m still lonely.” Furuta leaps up and pulls Kaneki back down on their bed. He pokes his nose. “You don’t seem happy. I need you to be happy. If you, the first artificial half-ghoul, can’t be happy, how can I?”

“How can I?” Kaneki replies, staring up at Furuta.

“Will Mr. Ducky help?” Furuta hands him his beloved rubber duck.

Kaneki can’t resist a smile. “We’re more than what our parents made us, aren’t we?”

“We have to be,” says Furuta. “Please don’t let your mom destroy us.”

“If you don’t let Tsuneyoshi destroy you,” Kaneki says, studying Souta’s distressed expression. Even the very mention of Tsuneyoshi’s name is enough to unglue his beloved.

“I’m working on it,” Furuta says tightly.

“Me too.” Kaneki pulls Furuta closer for a kiss. Furuta smiles in relief.

They’re incredibly fucked up, but they’re working on it. And maybe someday they’ll find themselves relieved they talked today.

When they learn of their Romanian heritage, the Kaneki trifecta decide to get in tough with their roots, starting with learning the Romanian language, cause having a secret language is awesome. (One phrase they could exchange is “Fratele Meu (means “my brother”- for Rin to her brothers) and “Sora Mea” (meaning “my sister”))

Do you know Romanian? That’s awesome.

“Fratele Meu, can you pass the sugar.” Rin waves at Kaneki.

“What does that mean again?” Suzuya frowns.

“Of course, Sora Mea.” Kaneki winks and hands her three sugar packets. “What do you think it means, Juuzou?”

Suzuya sighs. “Brother and sister?”

“Yup.” Rin empties the sugar packets in her coffee.

“Multumesc,” says Suzuya. “See, I am learning!”

“You are indeed.” Rin nods.

“What are we learning?” Tsukiyama Shuu pirouettes into the room.

“That you’re a gurmand,” says Suzuya, stuffing his mouth full of chocolate.

“Sacre bleu! That sounds like an insult,” cries Tsukiyama.

“Ţine-ţi limba după dinţi,” replies Rin sweetly.

“My heart!” Tsukiyama clutches his chest.

“He’s politely declined your command,” Kaneki says to Rin.

“When the fuck did I move to Europe?” Touka storms into Re. “You guys, yelling in all sorts of languages is going to scare off all my customers!”

The Kaneki trifecta have their last conversation with Alucard, their ancestor, before he has to go back to London to the plot of Hellsing. He tells them the true story of Prince Vlad of Wallachia (sold to a Sultan as a child who raped him for years before he killed him, rose as a prince who fought and killed for his God only to be killed by his people, and sell his soul to the devil). He tells them what Van Hellsing taught him: “Only a man can kill a monster”.

“Please tell us more.” Rin leans forward eagerly. Kaneki is dutifully taking notes through his tears, and Suzuya is clutching Kaneki’s shoulders.

Alucard sighs. “There’s not much more. I suppose my words apply to all of you now.”

“Which ones?” Kaneki looks at his notes.

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” Suzuya says.

“And I’m sorry for what Madam did to you,” Alucard replies. “But, Kaneki especially: to become a monster as I am, is to admit you were too weak to remain human.”

Kaneki flinches. “I had to.”

“So did I, I thought.” Alucard stares into the distance. “Only a man can kill a monster.”

Kaneki looks at Suzuya.

“You can’t kill a monster using monstrous methods.” Now Alucard looks at Suzuya, who swallows.

Mr. Shinohara? Monstrous methods?

“Rin, you’re the full human among your family.”

“Me?” she squeaks. She’s always felt insecure in her humanity. “Are you saying my humanity is…important?”

“I don’t think your humanity means anything,” Alucard says bluntly. “But I think your compassion and empathy surpass your brothers’. That’s more important than your species. And if you want a path forward for both species, you’ll have learn a new way of fighting, beyond embracing the violence.”

Rin sniffles. “Do you think any of us can?”

“Together?” Alucard looks in each of their eyes. “Yeah, I do.”

Post ch 125? Kaneki waking in Touka’s lap

Kaneki awakens with a fluttering in his heart and a smile on his face. His eyes are swollen, as if he’s been crying. Hmm?

He looks up to see Touka smiling down at him. Her hands stroke his hair, and his head rests on her bare thighs.

“Hi,” he croaks.

“How are you?” Touka sounds nervous.

“Happy.” Kaneki rubs sleep out of his eyes. He sits up and runs his hands down Touka’s chest.

“Me too.” Touka snuggles closer.

He wraps her in his arms and breathes in her scent. He never noticed before, how she smells like coffee even when she’s not at her job. It’s like coffee’s a part of her, and he loves that.

They will have to flee their hideout soon. The 24th ward, and all the ghouls of GOAT, await. But not yet. He can afford a few more seconds in Touka’s loving arms.

Rewrite of the chap where Naki dies and instead Kaneki comes early and deflects the Oggai attack (bc he’s been defending Touka and Hinami, why not precious blonde bean?) and Miza telling him off for almost dying?

PRECIOUS BLONDE BEAN!!! He totally is.

Big bro… Naki teeters against the Oggai’s blades.

“Naki!” screams Miza. She lunges forward, but she won’t be there in time –

Bam!

Kaneki’s rinkaku slams the Oggai onto their backs.

“King?!” Miza cries.

“KANEKI!” Naki shrieks. His vigor renewed, he leaps sideways and knocks several of the children unconscious.

“Don’t kill them – just stop them,” Kaneki orders. He smacks a few more into the tunnel wall.

“Got it.” Miza positions herself besides Naki. “By the way, if you die on me, I’ll get Yamori to torture you in heaven.”

“M – Miza!” Naki looks horrified. “I would never leave you!”

In the manga when the Quinx and Sasaki crossdressed for a mission Mutsuki gets drunk and acts all happy and exuberant. How about an extension to this scene where Mutsuki, after saluting Sasaki, gets a little handsy with Sasaki and flirts with his beloved sensei, not entirely because of the alcohol. And Sasaki likes the attention Mutsuki pays him.

“Shashaki.” Mutsuki rubs his mentor’s shoulders. “You’re sho pretty. You’re the prettiesht girl here.”

“Mucchy?” Saiko raises her eyebrows.

“Sho pretty. Isn’t she?” Mutsuki leans against Sasaki.

“Yas.” Shirazu raises his glass. “A toast to our pretty Sasaki!”

The Quinx clink their glasses together, and Mutsuki turns back to Sasaki.

“You’re the nicesht pershon I know. Do you like me? Am I your friend?” Mutsuki grips Sasaki’s arm to keep his balance as the room spins around him. “Pleash shay yesh.”

“Of c-c-course, you’re my friend.” Sasaki’s face is purple. But Mutsuki’s eyes are so round and cute and innocent and irresistible.

“Yay!” Mutsuki laughs.

Sasaki leans over and hugs Mutsuki. “See?”

Mutsuki has tears in his eyes. “He likesh me.”

Touka doesn’t beat up and berate Kaneki on bridge in og tg and instead is kind in her own way and welcomes him back to Anteiku

Warning for references to child abuse.

“Hey.” Touka hesitates at the foot of the bridge. Why didn’t you wait for me? Are you avoiding me? What is wrong with me?

“Hey.” Kaneki’s heart sinks. He’s afraid of her.

Because he cares.

“Why did you run off?” Touka bursts out. “Why? It’s like you didn’t care at all.”

“Of course I cared! I just…wanted to protect you all,” Kaneki whispered.

“I thought I was the one who protected you.” Touka swallowed. “Remember Kimi? Remember Mado? We were a team.” Her voice rose. “You say you’re doing this for us, but you’re not. You’re acting like my dad! You’re selfish; it’s all about you. You can’t stand to see us hurt, so you keep us at a distance. You’re hurting us and saying it’s for our own good.”

Kaneki sees his mother’s hand coming down on him. He starts and stumbles back.

“Why?” Touka sniffles. “Why can’t you let us love you?”

Kaneki feels frozen. Mommy, stop.

Touka frowns. His eyes aren’t focused. “Kaneki?”

She grabs him and pleads. “Please come back to Anteiku with me.”

Kaneki can barely move in his flashback, but somehow he finds the strength to nod.

Touka tugs him along, and though he’s still half-dazed, he feels like he’s being led someplace safe.

Kaneki/Sasaki never left the Quinx, Shirazu never dies, and they’re all happier for it

“Maman, tell us more about Hide.” Saiko leans over on the couch. Hsaio sits on Saiko’s lap.

“He was beautiful, inside and out.” Kaneki smiles sadly.

“And he supported you no matter what.” Mutsuki marvels, snuggling into his overstuffed chair. Support, just like the Quinx.

“He sounds awesome!” Higemaru punches his hands in the hair.

“He was. His last words I remember were ‘it may not be stylish, Kaneki, but live,’” Kaneki recalls.

“Those are beautiful words,” Aura admits begrudgingly.

“Unstylish, like you,” Shirazu teases. Aura sticks out his tongue.

“Hide’s one of my reasons for not giving up on you all,” Kaneki jokes.

“Yeah, yeah, we all know you would have given up on Urie long ago otherwise,” Shirazu says.

“Hey!” Urie’s mouth drops.

“Well,” says Higemaru, “if Hide went missing during the Anteiku raid, there’s a chance he’ll show up, just like Takizawa and Amon.”

Kaneki looks terrified at the prospect. He’s not ready for that.

But when he looks around his family, he thinks that maybe, just maybe, he could live through that after all.

The straight/bi boys’ reactions to seeing boobs irl for the first time?

Kaneki Ken – “They’re so squishy.” (canon)

Nagachika Hideyoshi – CAN I HOLD THEM

Nishiki Nishio – spills coffee on himself

Koma Enji – eyebrow wiggle

Tsukiyama Shuu – Why can’t boys have something so fabulous

Urie Kuki – I wonder how they’d look on Mutsuki

Shirazu Ginshi – giggles uncontrollably

Higemaru Touma – spends the next day drawing large-breasted monsters

Aura Shinsanpei – crawls into corner

Amon Koutarou – prays

Takizawa Seidou – squeals with glee

Suzuya Juuzou – huh? those look heavy

Hanbee Abara – faints

Miyuki Mikage – I wonder if aliens have boobs

Keijin Nakarai – I’ve just met my future wife

Mizurou Tamaki – closes himself in his room for the rest of the day

Shinohara Yukinori – it was his wedding night with his wife. He was very gentle and she was rather fierce and it was beautiful.

Tatara – *draws Houji with boobs, mails it to him*

Houji – what the fuck Tatara – oh my, these look rather nice

Naki – screams

Yamori – do they hurt if you cut them

Ayato Kirishima – Ayato.exe has stopped working

Yomo Renji – stops breathing

Uta – thinks of them as interesting art/places for tattoos

Arima Kishou – speechless, but a small smile grows on his lips

Nimura Furuta – hello, I’m the bureau director. i like your boobs; can I dominate you?

Kuriowa Takeomi – “Y- Yoriko – you’re – like – beautiful – and – ah – so many feelings!”

Kuriowa Iwao – That’s nice.

Ui Koori – blubbering, red-cheeked mess

Hirako Take – am I supposed to be seeing this?

Washuu Yoshitoki – dazzled

Marude Itsuki – clears throat, smooths hair. Hi there.

Tanakamaru Mougan – Higheerrrrrrrrrrrrr boobs!

Rio – Poke