Masanori’s snow day!

“SNOW DAY!” Masanori wakes his parents at 6 am.

Of course it’s 6 am. Hairu rubs her eyes. “Are you okay?”

“I want to play in the snow!”

“You’re having breakfast first,” Ui says firmly, dragging himself out from under the warm covers with Hairu. There’s no point in sleeping when Masanori gets going.

Once Masanori’s belly is full, he leaps outside and practically drowns in the snow, which reaches past his shoulders. “AHHHH!’

“Are you okay?” Ui cries.

“I LOVE IT!” Masanori tosses a snowball at Mommy, who shrieks.

“Well, that doesn’t seem fair.” Ui wades through the snow to tackle his son. “Rawr!”

“Let’s make a snowman and dye it’s head pink,” Masanori says. “Will you help me, Daddy?”

“Of course.” Ui grins at Hairu, who’s already beelined inside for pink food dye. “I love my pink-haired angels.”

“I’m an angel?” Masanori is almost offended.

“In the best way,” Ui assures him.

“Good.” Masanori cackles before throwing snow straight into Daddy’s face.

Ui wouldn’t change this for the world.

okay this masanori kid reminds me of a child that would try and cook an ego waffle in the microwave and sets it on fire.

“Masanori, what happened?” Hairu’s mouth drops open at the sight of the smoking microwave.

“I wanted waffles,” Masanori says in a small voice.

“Huh?” Ui stumbles into the kitchen. He yanks open the microwave to see an Ego covered in tinfoil. “Masanori.”

“What happened? Did I do something wrong?” Masanori is more intrigued than scared.

“You can’t put metal in a microwave,” Ui says. “It sparks.”

“Ohhhhh.” Masanori sighs. “are the waffles done?”

“We’ll take you out for real waffles,” Hairu decides. “Before Daddy and I buy a new microwave.”

Masanori grins. “Does that mean I can keep wrecking this one? Auntie Eto told me to try an egg in the microwave.”

Hairu tries not to laugh. “Get your coat. We’ll get waffles and buy some eggs to test when we’re done.”

“Hurray!” Masanori races back to his room as Ui shakes his head at his wife.

“Admit it, you’re curious,” Hairu says.

“Absolutely.” Ui winks.

idol hairu with ui as her no.1 fan

Ihei Hairu is one of the top singers in Japan, and Ui Koori knows far too much about her.

But something about her draws him. She has a mysterious past the media can’t ignore, insightful lyrics, and a cheery personality that inspires him.

So, naturally, he doesn’t buy tickets to her concert. Because she’s a dream, and he doesn’t want to learn she’s an elaborate joke, someone rude and depressing.

“I don’t care. You’re coming with me!” Hirako Take says in horror when he learns of Ui’s fear.

What Hirako doesn’t tell Ui, however, is that he has backstage passes.

Ui finds himself wedged between Hirako and that crazy party-boy, Kuriowa Takeomi. They shuffle him into Ihei Hairu’s room.

“Hi! Are you Hirako?” The pink-haired beauty greets them with a genuine smile and melon buns. “Are you hungry?”

She’s so nice. Ui can’t believe his dreams are real.

“We have to thank Ui for getting us to listen to you,” Hirako says, nudging Ui.

“Oh, really?” Hairu leans forward. “Ui, we have the same haircut!”

He blushes. “It looks better on you.”

“I’m not so sure.” Hairu pokes his nose. She’s so close to him.

Hairu, meanwhile, feels her heart skip at this shy boy. She doesn’t meet many contemplative fans. “Where do you work?”

“We’re consultants. Ui’s the special ‘ethics’ consultant, though,” Takeomi says with a smile.

“Oh, really?” Hairu’s eyes widen. “That’s amazing.”

Ui smiles back at her, tentatively.

“Can I have your number?” Hairu blurts out.

Ui gasps. “Me?”

“No, President Arima. Of course, you.” Hairu winks. “I want to know you more.”

“I do, too,” Ui squeaks. His dream is real, but better.

Because that’s really her.

Au where yoshitoki has a spine and supports matsuri to choose his own way and stands up to tsuneyoshi for matsuri also also for Furuta

Bless you. I love Yoshitoki.

TW for sexual assault and homophobia.

Washuu Yoshitoki paces back and forth in his office. He’s caught Matsuri writing love notes to Urie Kuki three times in the last few months.

It’s wrong. Matsuri is married to Iyo until they produce a child, and in that time he ought to be faithful to her. Yoshitoki never betrayed Matsuri’s mother – he even tried to find her last year, until Tsuneyoshi found out.

Has he taught Matsuri nothing about honor?

Yoshitoki tries not to laugh. He’s a ghoul killing ghouls, someone who bred a child and then allowed his family to take away its mother. The mere notion of honor is preposterous.

“You’re not really worried about that,” Marude says from behind him, ever the voice of reason.

Yoshitoki winces.

His son – Tsuneyoshi’s grandson – is gay.

“There’s nothing wrong with him being gay.” Marude watches Yoshitoki carefully.

“I know.” Yoshitoki breathes in deeply. “But Tsuneyoshi doesn’t.”

How can he explain their secrets to his best friend without betraying him?

Suppose he arranges for Iyo to divorce Matsuri. She’ll be happier, and so will Matsuri.He’ll have to ferret her away to freedom of sorts, lest she face Tsuneyoshi’s wrath.

How can he explain this to Marude?

“I don’t know your secrets,” Marude warns, “but I want to help you.”

Yoshitoki half-smiles. “Contact a divorce lawyer.”

“Shouldn’t you consult Matsuri first?” Marude raises his eyebrows.

“Yes, yes I should.” Yoshitoki sighs. Nothing is normal in this family. Matsuri can wait.

Tsuneyoshi, however, summons a Washuu family meeting the next day. This can’t be a coincidence. Yoshitoki swallows.

“Wonder who’ll die today?” Furuta giggles as they enter Tsuneyoshi’s quarters. His half-brother is a strange one Yoshitoki can never figure out. Souta despises V, yet he always angles himself directly in front of Tsuneyoshi, desperately angling for attention he never gets.

Arima nods at Yoshitoki, impassive as ever. He stands with Ihei Hairu, surrounded by Zero Squad children and Hsaio Ching-Li. Iyo and Matsuri stand close to the door, Yoshitoki and Furuta beside Tsuneyoshi’s desk.

Tsuneyoshi turns his dark eyes to Matsuri. “Is this woman not pleasing you, grandson?”

Matsuri chokes, and Iyo turns deathly pale.

Yoshitoki hangs his head. This is all his fault.

“Your father here was looking into a divorce lawyer,” snipes Tsuneyoshi.

Matsuri goggles at Yoshitoki. “Dad?”

“Matsuri.” Yoshitoki stares at him. “I know.”

“Don’t we all know?” Furuta jokes. His face falls when Tsuneyoshi yields no response.

Matsuri shakes. “I – I can’t -”

“What’s wrong with Iyo? I rather liked her.” Tsuneyoshi’s eyes rake over her. “Not man enough?”

“He’s man enough to know he likes men,” Yoshitoki says quietly.

“What was that?” Tsuneyoshi’s voice is deadly.

“Stop manipulating my son. You’ve taken his mother; you’re not taking his love life on top of that. And you’re not stealing Iyo’s, either.” Yoshitoki can’t believe the words running out of his lips. When was his soul replaced with Marude?

“Father, I don’t understand.” He pleads. “You can’t even respect Souta enough for attention. Why is our family mere tools to you?”

Tsuneyoshi glares daggers at Yoshitoki. “Do you want to die under a quinque?”

“It won’t be mine,” Arima says quietly.

“Souta would, right?” Tsuneyoshi smiles at Souta, and for a moment, the boy’s face brightens.

“It’d be all of us against you, old man.” Furuta sniffs.

Yoshitoki remembers the parting kiss from his wife, the plea that he raise their child well. If you have to fight for him, fight.

And he responded, I will.

He’s long hated that he never fought for her. He will damn sure fight for her son, and all the sons and daughters of the Washuus.

Yoshitoki yanks open the office door. “Let’s go, Matsuri, Iyo.”

To Tsuneyoshi’s ire, the entire family files out of his office.

“Get back here.”

“We’re done lying!” taunts Furuta. “Well, lying for you.”

He angles himself closer to Yoshitoki, with the same eager eyes he bestows on Tsuneyoshi.

Yoshitoki smiles at him, and Furuta gasps with happiness.

“Father.” Outside the mansion, Matsuri has tears in his eyes.

“I know you think you’ve disappointed me. You haven’t – I’ve been the disappointment of a father.” Yoshitoki embraces his son. “I’m sorry I ignored your pain.”

Matsuri hiccups. “I love you, Dad.”

If Hairu was still alive. Hairu mourning the death of Shio.

Hairu totters closer to Kaneki Ken’s body, to the bloodstained, pale indigo head…and the pale blue one. Kaneki starts, and Hajime Hazuki laughs.

Shio.

Hairu’s first instinct is to scream, to collapse and wriggle on the ground with Kaneki. There is nothing she can do.

Ui, you were supposed to bring them back to me! Where is he?

Hairu can’t bear to look at the head, to imagine Shio’s final moments. My god, what have we done?

She’s long known Shio was innocent. If he and Squad Zero fought Hajime, they must have had a reason to follow Hirako rather than Ui.

Hairu feels tears in her eyes, and she’s crying, but she’s walking forward.

Hajime Hazuki feels himself lifted up by his hair. To his surprise, he sees Ihei Hairu holding her quinque at his throat.

“How would you like it?” she shouts. “Hmm? Would that make you feel good?”

She throws him to the ground. He has to know she would never.

Hajime bares his teeth.

“Did you feel powerful? Did you feel like the ghouls who murdered your parents?” Hairu laughs. “You are just like them!”

“Take that back!” screams Hajime, scrambling to his feet. For a moment, he looks like a terrified kid. Terrified like Shio was.

“Siding with traitors, are we, First Class?” Furuta sneers.

“I’m siding with my family! With Arima and Rikai and Shio!” Hairu fires T-human at Furuta, and in the chaos grabs Kaneki. She flees, far, far away from Shio’s head, as if outrunning him will undo the past.

“Where do we go?” Was this how Hirako felt when he fled? Where is Hirako, anyway? “I’m not letting you die, Ken.”

Because this is how Ihei Hairu mourns, with tears and firepower. She will honor Shio’s legacy and protect the one he fought for.

Uihai playing a good game of monopoly

“You’re being so mean.” Ui pouts.

“I’m being mean?” Hairu gasps.

“You threw me in jail!” Ui crosses his arms.

“That’s because I’m bankrupting you,” Hairu says gleefully, moving her battleship along.

“I’ve never lost Monopoly before,” Ui growls. “We’ll see who bankrupts who!”

“If Arima were here, he’d win for sure.” Hairu giggles.

“I’m good at this, too.” Ui sniffs. Hairu sticks out her tongue.

But he is good. So good, in fact, that when Arima, Hirako, and Squad Zero return to CCG the next morning, they find the two still battling at Hairu’s desk.

“Have you been here all night?” Arima is amazed.

“Children, never do that,” Hirako adds.

“I’m so close,” Ui whispers through bloodshot eyes.

“I won’t cave. I’ll be strong, like you taught me, Arima,” Hairu replies, not taking her eyes off the board.

“Someone’s gotta film this.” Shio flips open his phone.

“What’s going on?” Suzuya Juuzou runs in. “Ooh, that looks fun!”

He grabs the board.

“Noooooooooooooooooooo!” Ui stands in slow motion. Hairu falls backwards.

“It’s a draw,” Arima declares. “Now both of you go home and sleep. You’re in no shape for battle.”

“I was a battleship,” Hairu says dreamily.

“Preferably together,” Hirako adds. The kids burst into giggles, and Arima glares at him.

The misadventures of baby masanori

Everything is a misadventure with baby Masanori.

Hairu and Ui first learned he could crawl when he disappeared from his room one night. As Ui melted down and called Arima in a panic over their kidnapped child, Hairu found baby Masanori in the bathroom. He was splashing toilet water.

His first word was “mwah.” It’s what Auntie Eto told him to say.

Masanori’s first sentence was “I love you,” to his daddy. Ui melted and Arima (after a poke from Eto) told Ui he was proud of him.

He once decided to give Mommy a haircut. She woke up to her bangs snipped off with scissor. Hairu was more upset that she had to wear her hair different than Ui than she was about the actual haircut.

Masanori once tried to convince Auntie Eto to give him human flesh to eat. Just to try it. Ui nearly passed out and Hairu was pissed.

When he grows up, he wants to be Uncle Uta or Uncle Shio.

His favorite day of the year is his birthday, because Uncles Shio and Yusa, and Auntie Rikai, play water balloons with him. Next year he’s planning to rig traps that dump dozens of balloons on his enemies at once. Hairu encourages this, and Ui will be helping build the traps. It’s only fair because Hirako is preparing the rest of the Zero Squad kids.

Shio, Rikai and Yusa buy Masanori a phone (probably with hirako’s money) and he losses and breaks it the first day he gets it.

Obviously with Hirako’s money. Those hellions. 😀

“Now, only use this in emergencies and to play Candy Crush,” Shio tells Masanori.

The kid’s eyes are the size of the phone. “It’s all mine?”

“Yes.” Yusa made sure to buy a heavy case for it.

“Thank you!” Masanori screams, throwing his arms around Shio, Rikai, and Yusa one by one.

“I put all of our numbers in there to be safe,” Rikai tells him.

“You’re the best.” Masanori holds the phone to his ear. “I’m like an adult.”

Masanori knows Shio told him not to use it much, but he can’t imagine taking selfies is wrong. Mommy loves selfies.

He climbs onto the toilet to get a full image of himself, like he’s seen Mommy do.

His foot slips, and with a cry, Masanori’s foot and his phone splash into the toilet.

“Uh – oh.” Masanori has a bad feeling about this.

“Everything okay?” Daddy rushes in. “Masanori, your leg!”

“It’s fine. My phone is not.” Masanori holds up a dripping iPhone. His leg remains twisted.

“Mommy can tend to your phone.” Ui grabs Masanori. “Let’s make sure you can still walk.”

Hairu approaches. She bursts into laughter upon seeing that Masanori is okay, but his “phone” is dripping. “Whose phone is that?”

“Mine. Shio, Rikai, and Yusa bought me,” he says sadly. “They’ll be very sad.”

“I think Hirako’s wallet will be sadder,” Hairu says with a grin. “Ui, time to call up Take.”

Uihai can’t even do the do anymore because Masanori started walking and is haunting them around the house

Hahahaha! Of course he is.

Ui rolls atop Hairu. “I miss you.”

“Hmm, we haven’t done this in a while, have we?” Hairu gives him a wicked grin and starts pulling up her shirt.

“Mommy?”

Ui tumbles off Hairu, who sinks her naked chest under the covers. “Masanori?”

“Can I have some water?”

“Of course. Daddy will help you,” says Ui. Hairu flashes him a grateful look.

When he returns, Hairu is still undressed. She winks at Ui.

“I think the minion’s asleep.” Ui pulls off his own shirt and climbs back onto the bed.

“Daddy?”

Ui pulls away, and this time Masanori knows something’s up. “Why is Mommy naked?”

“Daddy was just helping Mommy get dressed for bed,” Hairu says, quickly hauling on her T-shirt.

Masanori, thankfully, seems to buy this. “I wanted a kiss goodnight.”

“We’ll both kiss you.” Hairu approaches him.

“Why is Daddy undressed when he was already in his pajamas?”

“I was too warm,” Ui says quickly.

“Okay.” Masanori kisses both his parents and skips off to bed.

It takes another half an hour for both Ui and Hairu’s heart rates to subside before they try again.

Masanori watching a scary movie when he was told not to and gets scared afterwords.

“Can we watch It?” Masanori waves Uta over. “It has clowns!”

“Did your parents say it was okay?” Uta cocks an eyebrow.

“No, but it’s rated R, so they didn’t even consider that it has clowns,” Masanori says sadly. “They’re biased.”

Uta eyes the clock. They do have time, and he does want to see it.

I’m going to hell. Uta sits besides Masanori and selects the movie.

“Do you think Aunt Itori would like this? Or Uncle Fruit?”

“It’s Aunt Itori’s favorite, and Uncle Fruit would be too scared,” Uta replies as the movie begins.

That evening, Hairu and Ui arrive him to a Masanori who has his back pressed into the wall and fears the bathroom.

“Masanori, what is the matter?” Hairu finally asks.

“You’ll float too,” he whispers.

Ui’s face turns green. “You watched It, didn’t you?”

“I wanted to see the clown! With its big scary teeth! But I didn’t realize it was going to haunt me and eat me!” cries Masanori.

Hairu dials a number on her phone. “Hi, Yomo? Kill your husband for us. You can ask him why.”

She hangs up. “It was fiction, Masanori.”

“But ghouls eat people. What if Pennywise was a ghoul?” he whispers.

“Then your parents just happen to be investigators skilled in defeating it,” says Hairu.

“O – okay.” Masanori shivers. “Can I sleep in your bed tonight?”

“We won’t get sleep if you don’t,” Ui jokes, and Masanori sticks his tongue out at his dad.

“Yes. We’ll even keep our quinques out, okay?” Hairu hugs their son, and he clings to her. “Let’s be off to sleep, then.”

She smirks at Ui. They can have a talk about obedience later. Right now, their child is scared and needs comfort.