Hairu cares for an armless Ui and comes to love him.

Uikin Skywalker, eh, Nonny-Mouse? This turned out more angsty than anticipated. Oops.

“You didn’t tell me.” Hairu gapes at Ui. “You never told me!”

“I’m sorry,” Ui whispers, clutching his chest with his remaining arm.

“You lost your arm because you let Shio and Rikai die,” Hairu hisses.

She recalls how she threw her arms around him the moment she awoke from her death sleep, the moment she’d seen her beloved friend missing his arm. She recalls how she sobbed over Arima, and how Ui’d held her with his one arm and cried, too. How he’d mourned Squad Zero with her, shared her frustrations over Hirako’s treachery.

And now she doesn’t know who the real traitor is.

Hirako struck Ui to avenge their kids. Shio and Rikai.

Hairu wants to avenge them, too.

She kicks Ui between his thighs. “How could you?! They were children!”

Ui doubles over, retching. “I wouldn’t have hurt them!”

“But you didn’t stop Hajime from killing them. You might as well have,” she cries. “I – I – do you know how decapitation feels, Ui?”

He shakes his head.

“It’s momentous, but it’s a moment of sheer disbelief. You die while everything’s surreal. You don’t even have one moment to say goodbye.” Hairu wipes her eyes. “I don’t want that for anyone ever again. Not even ghouls.”

Ui’s sobbing now. “I miss them, too. H – hairu, I did it for you. I followed Furuta to get you back, b-because I loved you. I still do.”

“You love me?” Hairu wipes her eyes. She’s come to realize over the weeks of seizing her new life that she, too, loves her partner. “I love you too, but I would have rather you kept me dead than kill children.”

“I don’t know the right choice. Did there even have to be one? I’ve never known,” Ui confesses. “Never. You – you’re right to hate me.”

At least she’s alive.

“I know.” Hairu kneels before him. She runs her hands through his black bob. “I don’t want to waste my life on revenge or hate. I don’t live long, Ui, anyways. Why waste it hating the man I love?”

“Huh?”

“I’m sorry I kicked you in the balls. I won’t ever do that again.” Hairu’s eyes swim. “I have shitty secrets, too, if you’ll listen.”

“I will,” UI promises.

“They’ll hurt you more.”

“I can take it.”

She kisses his nose. “We can take it.”

Masanori and 0 squad kids attempt to make a cake for Uihai day :)

“All right, you all. Listen up.” Shio leans forward. “We’re baking a funfetti cake for Uihai day.”

Masanori adores the day between his parent’s birthday. His parents are so sweet to each other and get presents for him, too. “Yesssss.”

“I brought all the colors of the rainbow.” Rikai holds up half a dozen tubes of frosting.

“I brought the mix.” Yusa hols up a box.

Shio pouts. “We should bake from scratch.”

“Shio, we’ll burn the house down and then have to explain to Ui and Hairu why their son is dead,” Yusa replies.

“What does dead mean?” Masanori squints.

Shio giggles. “Eh – ask your parents.”

“Not cool! I thought you were the fun uncle!”

Shio gasps. “My heart! No!”

“Tell him.” Rikai makes her way to the kitchen.

“Dead just means you’re not on earth anymore…you’re in heaven where there’s cake all the time and no one ever gets tired,” Shio says, hugging Masanori.

“Okay.” Satisfied, Masanori races after Rikai. Yusa just shakes his head.

When Ui and Hairu return, their apartment smells like burnt sugar.

“Masanori? Shio?” calls Hairu as she opens the door.

“Surprise!” yell four voices.

Masanori wears a virtual kakuja of rainbow frosting, and the Zero Squad children are equally smeared with icing.

Hairu laughs. “Well, well.”

“We baked you a cake!” squeaks Masanori.

“Well, Yusa insisted on taking it over. That was probably a good idea,” admits Shio.

“Then you, what, had a frosting fight?” Ui asks, hands on his hips. Their entire kitchen looks like a thousand Kanekis were released in it.

“Precisely,” Shio says happily.

Masanori beckons Ui down. He wipes green icing on the tip of Daddy’s nose.

“Now you’re one of us.” Shio nods. “No one can escape the icing.”

“I’ll be a ghoul for a moment, then.” Hairu uses her mouth to eat the icing off Ui’s nose. “See, all better.”

masanori wondering why hairu has a dakimakura of ui

“Mommy, why did you turn Daddy into a big pillow?” Masanori’s eyes are enormous.

“Huh?” Hairu turns around. “Oh, Masanori. That’s not Daddy. That’s my cuddle pillow that looks like Daddy for whenever I’m away.”

“Oh.” Masanori holds out his hands. “Can I hug it?”

“Yes.” Hairu hands him the pillow.

Masanori squeezes it. “It doesn’t hug back as well.”

“No, Daddy’s hugs are the best,” Hairu agrees.

“So are yours.”

Hairu grabs Masanori and lifts him on her hip. “Like this?”

She kisses his forehead.

“Yeah, like that.” Masanori leans over so Hairu nearly drops him. “Gotta get Daddy.”

Ui walks in to see Hairu, Masanori, and the his dakimakura enjoying a group hug.

Masanori’s Trick or treating adventure!

“Look at me, Daddy!”

Masanori twirls around, showing off his black bobbed wig. “I’m YOU! Uncle Uta helped me.”

“You look just like Daddy,” Hairu says with a grin. She’s Rapunzel, and Ui is Flynn Rider.

“Yay!” Masanori claps his hands.

Ui is too happy to speak, so he hugs his child instead. “Now, be safe out there.”

“I will!” Masanori hurries outside to join the other GOAT children.

“Trick or treat!” Masanori first rings Touka and Kaneki’s door.

“Yes?” Touka, dressed like a fortune teller, falls back. “It’s a CCG investigator! AHHHHH!”

Masanori giggles. “No, it’s just Masanori!”

Kaneki, having been forced into a purple dragon costume, hands Masanori sugar tubes.

“Thank you!” Masanori skips to Ayato and Hinami’s next.

“Rawr!” Ayato is dressed like a pirate; Hinami, a yellow parrot. They hand Masanori chocolate.

Naki is Frankenstein and Miza his bride.

“Oo-oooooh.” Miza zombie walks towards the children, and they shriek.

“What tasty children!” Pennywise Itori greets them next, with angel Yomo and devil Uta behind her.

“Watch out, I’ll use my quinque,” teases Masanori. “Wait, Uncle Yomo, are those your ukaku wings.”

“With some help from Uta,” Yomo says uncomfortably.

Nishiki is dressed as a spider and Kimi a butterfly, connected by a web, and they hand out homemade cupcakes to thrill the children.

The Quinx mansion is next, and Saiko greets them as Gintoki. Hsaio as a ninja and Shirazu as a shark appear behind her, followed by Aura as perhaps a ghost – a white sheet, as any rate – and Higemaru as some monster of his own devising. Urie and Mutsuki join as Cookie Monster and a cat, respectively.

Cinderella Yoriko and Prince Charming Takeomi hand out more baked goods, and then it’s on to the Tsukiyama’s.

Chie as a bat hangs in a tree, snapping as many pictures as she can.

“Greetings, mortals!” Tsukiyama thrusts open his front door, dressed in rich wizarding robes. Kanae as an elf holds up ring pops.

Arima opens his door, mortified. He’s dressed as a black goat, and sexy witch Eto looks all too pleased with herself.

The children plod over to Hirako’s, where the three Musketeers pretend to attack as a giant Shiba hands them Kit-kats. Hajime appears to chase off the Musketeers, complete as Superman.

Kurona as a vampire and Seidou as a greek god provide Masanori with his favorite gift yet: caramel, the sticky stuff Mommy and Daddy don’t often buy after he smeared it across the entire kitchen.

An enormous version of Maris Stella answers the door at Akira and Amon’s, and the Suzuya Squad as Robin Hood and his merry men – including Hanbee as Maid Marion – swoop in to deliver Skittles.

When Masanori turns around, he sees all the parents gathered. “All right, off to our last stop.”

“Where?” Masanori asks.

“You don’t think your other uncle would miss this, do you?” Hairu asks lightly.

The adults are still wary as they enter the jail. But their reserve soon gives way to laughter when Haise Sasaki greets Kaneki in Furuta’s voice. “Hi, me! We look cute today!”

“I hate you,” Kaneki says.

“I love us,” says Haise. He showers the children with chocolate, and Masanori thinks himself the luckiest kid alive.

Hairu wants to wear matching animal pajama-one pieces with Ui

“Ui, do you like flamingos?”

Ui looks up with a frown. “Huh?”

“Look!” Thrilled with her latest purchase, Hairu holds up two flannel pajama sets garishly painted with flamingos. “Aren’t they perfect?”

“For me?”

“No, Arima. Yes, you.” Hairu puts her hands on her hips.

Ui chuckles. “I kinda want to see Arima in these.”

“Me too, but I want to see you more, if you catch my drift.” Hairu lowers her voice.

“In pajamas or without?”

“I want to take them off you,” she says slyly.

“I’d expect no less.” Ui draws her close to him. The pajamas are ridiculous, it’s true, but he actually loves the idea of a matching set. He loves how much life she brings into his existence.

“These are really soft,” he says, surprised, once they’ve changed.

“Perfect for cuddles.” Hairu tackle Ui onto their bed.

He giggles. “They match your hair.”

She sticks out her tongue. “You see me in everything, don’t you?”

“I do,” he replies, lifting his face to meet her lips.

Both Masanori and Hairu are sick and Ui is suffering trying to keep up with both of them and their demands.

“Ui, help me,” moans Hairu. She’s got a terrible fever. She can’t stand.

“Just a few sips.” Ui spoons more broth into her mouth. “You’re gonna be okay.”

“M-masanori…”

“He’s okay.”

“Go check on him.” She closes her eyes.

Ui hurries into Masanori’s room.

“Daddy, why can’t you make me better? I thought you could do anything.” Masanori’s chin trembles.

“Take the medicine.”

“I don’t LIKE pills!” Masanori looks more terrified of the pills than the fever.

“I’ll crush them up, okay? And put them in pudding?” Ui pleads.

Masanori nods.

Ui’s no sooner finished that than Hairu is calling for him. “Ui, I have to go to the bathroom and I am too weak.”

“Lean on me.” He holds her up.

He’s just putting her back to bed when Masanori wails “Daddy!”

Frazzled, Ui rushes into his child’s room. “Daddy’s here.”

“I’m not gonna die right?”

Ui wants to cry. “No, no, I promise. It’s just a virus.”

“I don’t like it.”

“I know,” Ui says, stroking his cheek. “I have an idea. Why don’t you stay with Mommy?”

“Yes.” Masanori brightens. Any time in Mom and Dad’s bed is a good time. This almost makes his sickness worthwhile.

Ui carries Masanori into his room. “Special delivery, Hairu.”

“My baby!” She holds up her hands, weakly. Masanori clamors into her arms.

“Cuddles make everything better, right Mom?”

“Right.” Hairu smiles, and Ui treasures the sight of his wife and child.

ui spending christmas alone, missing hairu

Ui’s not sure why he bought a Christmas Tree this year, but he did. And he sits before it every night.

Because Hairu would have wanted a tree.

The only present he wants is her resurrection. But that’s for Easter, right, not Christmas?

Ui touches each colorful light he’s wrapped around the tree. He starts from the bottom and works his way up. As he does, he prays to a different God in the universe for her return.

I’m so lonely.

He cries. ‘Tis the season for hope and miracles, still, and he’s in desperate need for one.

When he arrives up the path of tinsel and colored lights, he squints through his tears at the angel who tops the tree.

He painted her hair pink.

Oh my please i need happy uncle Shio headcanons to distract me from the canon pain™

Don’t we all.

Uncle Shio once brought watercolors to Hairu and Ui’s house. He wanted to introduce Masanori to painting. When Ui and Hairu returned, they found their walls covered in color and Shio with a very guilty expression. Masanori, however, did not look guilty.

Shio taught Masanori all his favorite elaborate flips and spins while fighting.

On the eve of Masanori’s birthday, Uncle Shio once snuck himself, Rikai, and Yusa into the Uihai house to decorate the entire place with glitter, confetti, a piñata, a cake, and more. Ui and Hairu nearly ruined it when they grabbed the quinques, mistaking the three for intruders.

Once, Shio introduced Masanori to his snarky friend Hajime. Hajime dutifully taught Masanori allllll the curse words, which embarrassed innocent Shio. Ui’s hair turned white for a day after that.

Shio has found Masanori scooping ice cream out of a carton not to eat, but to arrange in a swirl that resembles Shio’s hair.

When Masanori was two, he was drop-dead tired and sniffly, as kids do. Shio carried him back home and Masanori whispered “I love you, Uncle Shio,” in his ears. Hairu opened the door, and was puzzled to see Masanori fast asleep and Shio crying.

A scenario from Souta/Nimura’s childhood in the garden?

TW for sexual slavery and Tsuneyoshi being a lecherous skank.

“Souta, come meet my new cousin!” Ihei Hairu tugs Souta by his hair.

“Ow!” He winces. He’s been across the garden to avoid the screams of the latest birth. He doesn’t like people screaming.

“Come on!” Hairu races across the grass to the central tent, and Souta dutifully follows.

“Look at him!” Hairu holds up a chubby-cheeked infant with a wisp of white and blue hair. “His name is Shio! Isn’t he the best?”

Shio cries, and Hairu gasps. “Oh no!”

She shoves the baby into Souta’s arms, and to his amazement, it quiets down.

“Oooh, you’ll be a natural papa someday,” says Shio’s mother, circles under her magnificent eyes. She’ll have a month to hold and nurse Shio, before another Washuu warms her bed.

Iyo and Rize approach, but their faces are considerably more downcast. They’re nearing the age when their bodies change, and soon they know this will be their future.

“Can I hold him?” Hsaio Ching-Li pouts.

“You’re already holding Yusa.” The one-year-old hangs on her hips, and two-year-old Rikai has her arms around Hsaio’s legs. Furuta tightens his grip on newborn Shio.

“Congratulations.” Arima Kishou strides in and bows towards the exhausted ghoul. “Tsuneyoshi is here.”

And indeed, the demon Washuu himself sweeps into the tent.

Furuta nervously offers his dad the baby. Everyone holds their breath for his approval; but Furuta is too giddy that Daddy’s fingers brushed his to care.

“He’s a beautiful child,” Tsuneyoshi pronounces. Shio’s mother sighs in relief.

As Tsuneyoshi leaves, Furuta watches his eyes linger on Rize, whose chest is beginning to blossom. She wraps her arms around herself.

This isn’t fair. He doesn’t want her treated like this. Rize doesn’t want this.

Souta knows he has to save her.

Masanori admires his father’s ability to ride horses and wants a horse of his own. But first…he needs to learn how to ride.

“GIDDEYUP!”

Ui enters his small apartment to find Masanori yelling atop Hairu, who scampers about on her hands and knees.

She whinnies at the sight of her husband and gallops towards Ui.

“What on earth?”

“I want to ride horsies like you, Daddy. So Mommy is teaching me.” Masanori stretches up his arms for a hug, which Ui gladly returns.

“Mommy’s probably a tame horse.” Ui smiles. To raise this kid, he’s had to develop his own mischievous side. “I’ll try to buck you off.”

Masanori sticks out his tongue. “You’ll fail.”

He climbs on Ui and cheers. “Go, horsie!”

“Neigh!” calls Ui, clamoring forward and shaking his head.

————————————————–

“Is this already on Youtube?” Yusa whispers, peering into Ui and Hairu’s windows.

“It’s live streaming.” Shio smiles as Eto likes the video.

“We can teach Masanori to ride, too,” Rikai suggests.

“Assuming Ui doesn’t kill us.” Shio giggles as Saiko comments her approval below the video.

—————————————————

Ui’s phone lights up. Hirako.

Neighhhhhhhhhhh

He shrieks and stumbles, but to his relief, Masanori hangs on. Maybe he’s ready for a pony yet.

“Shio!” Hairu screams, running out of the apartment. “Get back here, you brats!”