would you fuck your clone tg re edition

Re Affiliates

Kaneki Ken – No, my clone makes me sad.

Nagachika Hideyoshi – It’d be fun.

Kamishiro Rize – Yes please. 

Kirishima Touka – I’d rather fuck Kaneki. 

Koma Enji – Ab-sol-ute-ly!

Irimi Kaya – I’m sorry, did you say something?

Yomo Renji – No way. 

Kosaka Yoriko – No? 

Hinami Feuguchi – Uh…ummmmmm…

Nishiki Nishio – I’d rather fuck Kimi.

Nishino Kimi – I’d do it for science. 

Tsukiyama Family

Tsukiyama Shuu – I’d do it while eating myself. 

Karren von Rosewald – If I could pretend it was Master Shuu.

Matsumae – Nah.

Mirumo – 100x yes.

Chie Hori – No.

Clowns

Uta – I’ve already done it. Kagune clone. 

Itori – Hell yeah. I’m hot. 

Hoito Roma – *giggles* obviously

Nimura Furuta – My answer is a resounding yes. 

Rio/Shikorae – ?!

Nico – It’d be so tragic, since you couldn’t be in love with yourself…

Donato Porpora – Technically, that’s not against the Bible…

Aogiri Tree

Kirishima Ayato – I’m gonna decline to answer this

Tatara – What is wrong with you people

Yoshimura Eto – Never say never

Noro – Why am I alive.

Miza Kusakari – Yep.

Naki – Huh?

Yumitsu Tomoe/Hakatori – Probably

Banjou Kazuichi – I’m scared and my answer is no.

CCG

Amon Koutarou – Amon.exe has ceased to function

Takizawa Seidou – No, because I hate myself. 

Mado Akira – I’d rather fuck a kakuja ghoul. 

Houji Kousuke- Shh don’t tell. 

Marude Itsuki – Hell no. 

Washuu Yoshitoki – Hell yes. 

Washuu Matsuri – No. Give me Urie. 

Washuu Tsuneyoshi – Over and over.

Kuriowa Takeomi – Uh – uh – n – no?

Kuriowa Iwao – Nope.

Aura Kiyoko – I’m not even dignifying that with a response. 

Tanakamaru Mougan – I wish. 

Itou Kuramoto – Tee-hee. Yes. 

Kurona Yasuhisa – I used to have a clone. My identical twin. Sometimes I can still hear her voice…

Arima Squad

Ihei Hairu – Probably

Arima Kishou – Did Eto send you to ask this?

Ui Koori – It’s unethical. 

Take Hirako – Who can say?

Suzuya Squad

Suzuya Juuzou – Why not?

Keijin Nakarai – I’d rather have someone else interested in me besides me. 

Hanbee Abara – Nooooooo.

Miyuki Mikage – OMG YES. 

Mizurou Tamaki – Possibly. 

Quinx Squad

Yonebayashi Saiko – hahahaha of course. 

Shirazu Ginshi – Why the fuck are you asking this? 

Urie Kuki – indubitably. 

Mutsuki Tooru – I’m grotesque 😦 

Hsaio Ching-Li – lol no.

Aura Shinsanpei – That sounds melodramatic, so yes. 

Higemaru Touma – lol. lol. lol. uh. Come back later after I’ve thought about it.

A study of Hairu’s body comes back after the Rose Operation and it turns out she was pregnant with Ui’s baby when she died

Well I’m dead and you have killed me. 

“Are you sure?” Arima’s skin is almost green. Hirako sticks close to his boss as the autopsy doctor walks away. 

“What is wrong?” Ui stumbles up to them, his eyes bloodshot from crying. Hairu is dead.

Just last night they were giggling together under the covers in his apartment. He broke his ethics just to be with her. And he’d been planning on proposing soon – well, just as soon as he told Arima.

And now that future is ruined. That fucking ghoul removed her head, as if she were a toy and not a beautiful, brilliant, witty person.

Arima glares at him.

“No wonder Hairu slipped up. She wasn’t at her full capacity,” Hirako says quietly.

“What do you mean?” Ui cries.

Arima briefly fantasizes about punching Ui. “Did you know?”

“Know what?” Ui looks panicked.

“Ihei was pregnant,” Hirako says tightly.

Ui’s world spins. He slumps to his knees.

“You were the father, weren’t you,” Arima says quietly. “I should have paid more attention.”

“I didn’t know!” Ui wipes his eyes. No, no, no. “I should have stopped her. I – I did this to her!”

Hirako bends down to lift Ui up. “Hold on to me.”

“Let’s go into my office,” Arima says. “I’m not upset with you, Ui. Just surprised.”

“I loved her,” Ui cries. “I did.”

“I’m glad,” Arima tells him. Hairu was happy when she died, he is sure of it. Because all she ever wanted was to be loved. 

Masanori’s teenage years

Masanori continues to be a hellion well into his teenage years. He breaks curfew constantly – not out of malice, but out of sheer forgetfulness.

Tonight is no different.

Eventually, Hairu falls asleep. But Ui can’t. He stays up, waiting nervously for his son’s return.

Around 2 am, the door bursts open. 

“Dad! I’m sorry!” Masanori’s voice cracks. “I stayed out late watching Harry Potter with Furuta.”

Of course, my son’s the only person who stays out late to spend time in prison. Ui sighs.

“Did you finish the eighth movie? That one’s my favorite.” Hairu blinks back sleep. She stands in the doorway to their bedroom.

“Furuta’s favorite character is Lucius. I think he wants a bad dad who would give up everything for his son.” Masanori looks sad.

“Oh.” Ui can’t help but pity Uncle Fruit. “Well, who is yours?”

“Since Sirius is dead, Ginny. She reminds me of Mom.” Masanori smiles at Hairu, who grins back.

“You’re like Bill, Ui.” Hairu winks. 

“That would make me your brother!” He sticks out his tongue.

“Uh.” Masanori pales. “I’ll be off to sleep now. Sorry for the wait!”

The aot cast but as ghouls (obv the Ackerman Clan is basically the Washuu Clan so that’s out of the way)

OMG I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. MY TWO FAVORITE ANIMES.

Eren Jaeger – Kirishima Ayato

Mikasa Ackerman – Kirishima Touka, or an unnamed Washuu  

Armin Arlert – Kaneki Ken

Historia Reiss – Kaneki Ken

Ymir – Kanae Von Rosewald

Reiner Braun – Mutsuki Tooru or Amon Koutarou 

Bertolt Hoover – Takizawa Seidou

Annie Leonhardt – Akira Mado

Sasha Blouse – Kamishiro Rize

Connie Springer – Koma Enji

Erwin Smith – Arima Kishou, or Yoshimura Eto

Hange Zoe – Nishino Kimi

Levi Ackerman – Arima Kishou

Kenny Ackerman – Mado Kureo  

Rod Reiss – Washuu Tsuneyoshi

Uri Reiss – Washuu Yoshitoki

Frieda Reiss – Kosaka Yoriko 

Mike Zacharius – Marude Itsuki

Nanaba – Irimi Kaya

Grisha Jaeger – Yoshimura 

Dina Fritz/Jaeger – Ukina 

Carla Jaeger – Hideyoshi Nagachika 

Zeke Jaeger – Furuta Nimura, maybe, hopefully, please 

Eren Kruger – Arima Kishou 

Pieck – Miza Kusakari 

Porco Galliard – Nishiki Nishio 

Marcel Galliard – Hirako Take

Colt Grice – Ui Koori 

Falco Grice – Higemaru Touma

Gabi – Hairu Ihei

Zophia – Yonebayashi  Saiko

Udo – Arima Yusa

Oh god nsfw uihai with ui fulfilling hairu’s praise kink

“Hairu, you’re an amazing investigator.” Ui serves her his most winsome smile as soon as they walk in their door. It’s late at night, and for sure they’re both tired, but he also kinda wants her.

Hairu eyes him slyly, in a way that communicates she knows exactly what’s up. “So are you, Sir Lord of Ethics.”

“And you’re a kind, happy person.” Ui pulls her closer, before their coats are even off.

“Koori, you are so strong,” Hairu whispers back.

He laughs and gestures towards their room.

Hairu is having none of it. “Why wait?”  

She yanks off his jacket right there, in the hall. She presses his back into the wall with a ferocious kiss.

“Hairu, you’re so good at this,” Ui whimpers pulling off her coat and pushing up her shirt. “Wow.”

He goggles at the frilly, ribboned bra she wears. “You’re also a magnificent planner.” 

“I am,” Hairu agrees, unbuttoning his shirt. It tumbles to the floor.

Ui would love to use his mouth to remove her bra, but he isn’t that coordinated. So Hairu has to offer her assistance, and he’s blushing like crazy as she pushes down her pants and then his.

“Hairu, I don’t know how you’re this good,” Ui moans, letting her sink onto him. He lets her press him further against the wall. “Ihei Hairu is the best. The sexiest. The kindness. The funnest. I love her so much.” 

“Dooooo you,” she purrs, increasing their rhythm. “Because Ui Koori is smart, justice-oriented, brave, and oh-so-talented.”

Ui gasps as he feels his climax nearing. “H-hairuuuuuu.”

She loves when he calls her name as he comes. How he looks at her with utmost love and appreciation. How he sees her as not a ghoul-human hybrid, but a full person and the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. 

She loves him.

TG characters as Christmas Songs 🎄

I’ve sorted the characters according to their introductory affiliation.

Anteiku/Re Affiliates

Kaneki Ken – O Holy Night

Nagachika Hideyoshi – Hark! The Herald Angels Sing

Yoshimura Kuzen – What Child Is This?

Kamishiro Rize – All I Want for Christmas Is You

Kirishima Touka – Angels We Have Heard on High

Koma Enji – Frosty the Snowman

Irimi Kaya – The First Noel

Yomo Renji – The Holly and the Ivy

Kosaka Yoriko – Love Came Down

Hinami Feuguchi – Silver Bells

Nishiki Nishio – We Three Kings

Nishino Kimi – O Christmas Tree

Tsukiyama Family

Tsukiyama Shuu – The 12 Days of Christmas

Karren von Rosewald – Last Christmas

Matsumae – Good King Wenceslas 

Mirumo – We Wish You a Merry Christmas

Chie Hori – What Child is This?

Clowns

Uta – Ding Dong Merrily on High

Itori – Mele Kalikimaka

Hoito Roma – Wonderful Christmastime 

Nimura Furuta – You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

Rio/Shikorae – Up on the Housetop

Nico – Santa Baby

Donato Porpora – Here Comes Santa Claus

Aogiri Tree

Kirishima Ayato – Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24

Yamori – Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer

Tatara – White Christmas

Yoshimura Eto – Carol of the Bells

Noro – Silent Night

Miza Kusakari – I Saw Three Ships

Naki – Jingle Bells

Hakatori – Making Christmas

Banjou Kazuichi – O Little Town of Bethlehem

CCG

Amon Koutarou – O Come All Ye Faithful

Takizawa Seidou – O Come, O Come, Emmanuel

Mado Akira – Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Houji Kousuke- Away in a Manger

Mado Kureo – Santa Claus Is Coming to Town

Marude Itsuki – God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

Washuu Yoshitoki – Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire

Washuu Matsuri – Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy 

Washuu Tsuneyoshi – The Christmas Shoes, because it pains everyone else

Kuriowa Takeomi – Ave Maria

Kuriowa Iwao – Angels from the Realms of Glory

Aura Kiyoko – Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree

Tanakamaru Mougan – Go Tell It on the Mountain

Shinohara Yukinori – Happy Christmas (War is Over)

Itou Kuramoto – God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

Kurona Yasuhisa – I’ll Be Home for Christmas

Hajime Hazuki – All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth

Mayazumi – Run Rudolph

Arima Squad

Ihei Hairu – The Wassail Song

Arima Kishou – O Come, O Come, Emmanuel

Ui Koori – Little Drummer Boy

Take Hirako – Let It Snow

Arima Yusa – It Came Upon a Midnight Clear

Ihei Shio – Deck the Halls

Souza Rikai – Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer 

Suzuya Squad

Suzuya Juuzou – Once in a Royal David’s City

Keijin Nakarai – Silver and Gold

Hanbee Abara – Walking in a Winter Wonderland

Miyuki Mikage – Holly Jolly Christmas

Mizurou Tamaki – Jingle Bell Rock

Quinx Squad

Yonebayashi Saiko – Joy to the World

Shirazu Ginshi – Feliz Navidad

Urie Kuki – Do You Hear What I Hear?

Mutsuki Tooru – Please Come Home for Christmas

Hsaio Ching-Li – Sleigh Ride

Aura Shinsanpei – Blue Christmas 

Higemaru Touma – Little Drummer Boy 

I don’t know why they’d do this… Ui and Hairu bring Masanori to his first fancy restaurant.

“We’ve gotta bite the bullet sometime,” Hairu mutters to Ui.

He gulps. “I guess.”

“Whoa. So pretty.” Masanori gazes at the vaulted ceiling and beautiful arabesque walls. “I want to climb them.”

Ui sends Hairu a panicked look. He still hasn’t recovered from Disneyland Tokyo. They only just released the bird back into the wild.

“Mommy, can I try your wine?” Masanori asks. “If I whine enough.”

Hairu has to giggle at the pun. “Did Kaneki tell you to say that?”

“Uh-huh.” Masanori sucks down his soda. “I want to taste it please.”

Ui sighs and holds out his glass. He doesn’t trust Masanori enough to hold it on his own. “Just one sip.”

Masanori puckers his lips. “It’s bitter.”

Ui nods. 

“Why do adults like icky food?” Masanori eyes the menu. 

“Because when you’re an adult, icky food tastes good,” says Hairu.

“That sounds sad.” Masanori pauses. 

“They have shrimp tempura,” Hairu teases.

Masanori’s eyes widen. “I like the crunchies.”

Ui breathes a sigh of relief. 

In fact, they make it almost the entire way through the meal before disaster strikes. Sure, Masanori has crumbs all over his face, but he’s happy.

And then.

And then.

He reaches for his soda. It falls onto the white tablecloth. 

“Oh no!” Masanori clutches the tablecloth, accidentally yanking all their dishes along with it. “Ah!”

Plates, glasses, and silverware crash to the floor. Masanori is covered in tempura remains and sake.

Waiters rush over, and Hairu has to laugh. Ui has to refrain from crying as they apologize.

“I’m sorry,” Masanori whispers.

“It’s okay.” Hairu wipes her eyes and grabs Masanori to carry him to the restroom to wash off. She had expected nothing less this entire night. But she just wanted Masanori the chance to experience a fancy restaurant, the kind she never got to visit as a kid. 

Ui nods as he helps the waiters. It’s embarrassing, every day with Masanori is adventurous and embarrassing. And he loves it.

I think we need Ui and Hairu playing monopoly against Arima and Eto. I’d love to see a really competitive Arima and Ui and the girls are literally just sitting there.

Yassssss.

“The God of Death might just go down,” Eto murmurs, watching Arima grow paler and paler.

He’s fine during combat. But board games? His nerves takes it very personally.

“Arima, no! Don’t give up!” cries Hairu.

“Why are you rooting for him?” salts Ui. His knuckles are white. I will…defeat…I will take Marvin Gardens before him. I must. 

“I’m rooting for you both.” Hairu scoffs.

“Ha!” Arima laughs with glee as Ui draws Go to Jail. 

“Okay, but which jail?” Hairu asks.

“Definitely Cochlea.” Eto grins. “SSS rate cells.”

“Fuck all of you.” 

“Language,” Arima mutters, carefully constructing his next five moves in his brain.

“I’VE BEEN PUT IN JAIL.” Ui whimpers. “Hairu, I don’t deserve it.”

“You don’t,” Hairu agrees.

“You do,” says Eto.

 “I will not fail,” Arima mutters.

image

But after two more hours, Eto is bored. Hairu is bored. Their husbands, less so.

So Eto swoops her hands down onto the board and knocks the pieces off.

“Eto!” screams Ui.

“Why?” Arima gasps.

“I’m the One-Eyed Owl, fucking shit up.” Eto grins. “We’ll call it a draw. Enough pride for you two?”

Arima and Ui tentatively nod.

“Oh thank god,” says Hairu. 

The Uihai family goes to Disneyland Tokyo…! Where they loose Masanori again! (Love your writings by the way)

Why thank you, Nonny-Mouse!

“Of course. Of course, we’ve lost Masanori again,” Ui mutters.

“Where could he be?” Hairu cranes her neck. “I don’t see him anywhere!”

They push their way through the crowd.

“Maybe he’s in the swings,” Hairu says desperately. She can’t help but fear that someone kidnapped a quarter-ghoul child for vengeance.

“Let’s check his favorite characters,” Ui suggests.

“I have a better idea,” Hairu says weakly. She lifts a shaking finger behind them.

“Huh?” Ui turns around. He shrieks.

Because Masanori is scaling the castle roof. 

“Who taught him to climb?” Ui cries.

“Eto is his aunt and Shio and Furuta his uncles; how are you surprised?” Hairu shoots back. 

They race towards the castle base, where security is already trying to coax him down.

But, naturally, he doesn’t listen. He just climbs higher.

“Masanori!” Hairu wails.

“You know this kid?” demands a guard. 

“He’s our son,” Ui says weakly. Parents walk by, shaking their heads at them.

If they found out he’s part ghoul, they’ll hate him even more. Would the guards even try to rescue him? Ui’s anger ignites. It isn’t fair.

“Do you think you can talk him down? He’s awfully high.” The man is sweating, and Ui kinda hates him.

“What’s he looking at?” Hairu notices a speck on the roof as Masanori hoists himself onto the ledge. Her heart pounds.

He cradles it in his palm and totters back towards the edge of the roof.

“Be careful!” Hairu yells. 

“Well, careful for being on the roof of a castle surrounded by security,” Ui says.

Security rushes through with a ladder, and Ui breathes easier. “Hang on, Masanori!”

When Masanori finally reaches the ground again, Hairu and Ui rush over. “What were you doing?”

Masanori holds up a bird with a broken wing. “I saw a birdy fall and I wanted to save it, Mommy.”

Ui sags against Hairu. His boy is truly the best.