ui finds out that hairu has a dakimakura of him

This is precious!

When Ui comes home from an overnight mission, he sees Hairu snuggled safely in bed.

He smiles to himself, until he notices a large lump besides her.

Confused, Ui peers closer.

Her arms are wrapped around a giant dakimakura of him. Bowl cut and all.

“Hey.” Ui shakes her awake. “Did you miss me that much?”

“Hmm?” Hairu blinks sleepily. “Yes, isn’t it obvious?”

“Yeah, it is. I might not be as squishy, but at least i can hug you back.” Ui strips to a T-shirt and crawls next to her.

Hairu arranges the dakimakura at the foot of their bed. “Koori, meet Ui Jr.”

She throws her arms around him. “Now, cuddle me!”

“Of course I will.” Ui nuzzles her hair.

“I hope you don’t think it’s wierd.”

“I think it’s adorable.” Ui squeezes Hairu.

“Ooh, you’re much better than the pillow. Though I do like it. They captured your essence, inspector ethics and all.” Hairu snuggles against him. “Plus it’s soft, like your heart.”

Ui and Hairu’s trip to the zoo

“Ui, I want to look at the tigers!” Hairu drags him to the Siberian exhibit. “They’re bigger than the One-Eyed Owl. But fluffy so it’s okay.”

“They’re still a bit scary.” Ui shivers as one of the massive beasts eyes him.

“I’d die happy if they ate me. I want to snuggle one.” Hairu smiles. “Let me guess: you like the lions.”

Ui nods. He does, out of all the big carnivores, lions are his favorite.

All in all, the zoo disturbs him. He feels like the predator here, the ghoul looking at animals he has power over. And Ui Koori does not like identifying with the enemy.

“What’s your favorite animal?” Hairu leans on the fence, watching two lions cuddle.

Ui leans over her, imitating the lions.

“I love you, Koori.”

“I love you too, my Hairu sweetheart.” But he still feels embarrassed for his favorite animal.

“Kooooooori. What’s your favorite if it isn’t lions?” Hairu rubs her head against his chin, just like the lions.

“Promise you won’t laugh?”

“No. But I promise I won’t think less of you.” Hairu grins.

“Follow me,” he says.

A few minutes later, Ui stops before the exhibit. Hairu shrieks.

Of course Ui’s favorite animal is a platypus.

They don’t quite belong in many worlds, just like her. “Koori, I love you even more now.”

Character they’re most like-

Perrrrfect.

I’ve sorted the characters according to their introductory affiliation.

Anteiku/Re Affiliates

Kaneki Ken – Quasimodo, The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Nagachika Hideyoshi – Charlotte, The Princess and the Frog

Yoshimura Kuzen – Mufasa, The Lion King

Kamishiro Rize – Megara, Hercules

Kirishima Touka – Nala, The Lion King

Koma Enji – Pumba, The Lion King

Irimi Kaya – Timon, The Lion King

Yomo Renji – Phil, Hercules

Kosaka Yoriko – Princess Anna of Arendelle, Frozen

Hinami Feuguchi – Princess Snow White, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

Nishiki Nishio – Mushu, Mulan

Nishino Kimi – Jane Porter, Tarzan

Tsukiyama Family

Tsukiyama Shuu – Lumeiere, Beauty and the Beast

Karren von Rosewald – Mulan, Mulan

Matsumae – Mrs. Potts, Beauty and the Beast

Mirumo – Fa Zhou, Mulan

Chie Hori – Merida, Brave

Clowns

Uta – Hades, Hercules

Itori – Merryweather, Sleeping Beauty

Hoito Roma – Stepmother Tremaine, Cinderella

Nimura Furuta – Prince Hans, Frozen

Rio/Shikorae – Thomas, Pocahontas

Nico – Iago, Aladdin

Donato Porpora – Frollo, The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Aogiri Tree

Kirishima Ayato – also Merida, Brave

Yamori – Shan Yu, Mulan

Tatara – Jafar, Aladdin

Yoshimura Eto – Maleficent, Sleeping Beauty

Noro – Floatsom or Jetsom, The Little Mermaid

CCG

Amon Koutarou – Captain Phoebus, The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Takizawa Seidou – Prince Naveen, The Princess and the Frog

Mado Akira – Esmeralda, The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Houji Kousuke- General Li, Mulan

Mado Kureo – Professor Porter, Tarzan

Marude Itsuki – Zazu, The Lion King

Washuu Yoshitoki – King Stefan, Sleeping Beauty

Washuu Matsuri – Prince Phillip, Sleeping Beauty

Washuu Tsuneyoshi – The Horned King, The Black Cauldron

Kuriowa Takeomi – Kristoff, Frozen

Kuriowa Iwao – King Hubert, Sleeping Beauty

Aura Kiyoko – Queen Eleanor, Brave

Tanakamaru Mougan – Chien Po, Mulan

Shinohara Yukinori – Maximus, Tangled

Hajime Hazuki – Grumpy, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

Arima Squad

Ihei Hairu – Rapunzel, Tangled

Arima Kishou – Kida, Atlantis

Ui Koori – John Smith, Pocahontas

Take Hirako – Flora, Sleeping Beauty

Ihei Shio – Bambi, Bambi

Arima Yusa – Pascal, Tangled

Souza Rikai – Kahn, Mulan

Yasuhisa Kurona – Tiana, The Princess and the Frog

Suzuya Squad

Suzuya Juuzou – Rapunzel, Tangled

Keijin Nakarai – Flynn Rider, Tangled

Hanbee Abara – also Thomas, Pocahontas

Miyuki Mikage – Milo, Atlantis

Mizurou Tamaki – Nakoma, Pocahontas

Quinx Squad

Yonebayashi Saiko – Ariel, The Little Mermaid

Shirazu Ginshi – Sebastian, The Little Mermaid

Urie Kuki – Hercules, Hercules

Mutsuki Tooru – Elsa, Frozen

Hsaio Ching-Li – Pocahontas, Pocahontas

Aura Shinsanpei – Scar, The Lion King

Higemaru Touma – Flounder, The Little Mermaid

Masanori wants a pet!

More Masanori asks! Hurrah! featuring the Uihai hellion from @hamliet‘s “The (Mis)Adventures of GOAT.”

“Mommy, can I have an owl?” Masanori peers up at Hairu.

“An owl?” Hairu laughs. “Why would you want that?”

“Because Aunt Eto says she was an owl and Aunt Eto is fun.” Masanori hops up and down. “I want fun.”

“Aren’t we fun?” Ui is appalled.

“Daddy, you are very fun.” Masanori giggles. “But I want something feathery. Please? It’s my birthday soon.”

Hairu hesitates. “We’ll see what we can do.”

As soon as Masanori has skipped off, Ui hisses, “You know he can’t have an owl!”

“He can have a parrot or something!” Hairu grins. “It will be pretty!”

Ui’s shoulders slump. Birds are messy. Pets are messy.

But it will make his wife and child happy, and therefore, Ui will get them a parrot.

———————————————-

“Fuck,” says the parrot after Ui presents the bright yellow creature to his family.

Hairu yelps.

“Don’t say that,” Ui protests.

“Don’t say that, don’t say that,” sings the bird. “Fuck.”

“What does fuck mean?” Masanori inquires. He’s so excited his entire body shakes.

Even as a cursing hooligan, the bird is worth it. Hairu shakes her head. “Tell you when we’re older. For now, don’t say that.”

“Why?” Masanori smells fear.

“Because it’s mean,” Ui says quickly. “The bird just doesn’t realize it.”

“The bird is named GOAT,” declares Masanori. “I like him.”

As their child squeals with delight, Hairu and Ui exchange glances. What have they done?

“Fuck,” says the parrot.

“I love you,” Masanori warbles back.

Hairu smiles. Masanori is more important than one dirty word.

How about Ui and hairu pull the same act as Ukina and Yoshimura? Hairu and Ui have to flee because the CCG wants to take their child away because of Hairu being part ghoul and so is their baby and hairu gets killed. more angst for Ui

Why would you ask this of me? 😉

“Faster, Ui!” Hairu clings to his hand. Her other arm clutches their baby to her chest.

Behind them, V is catching up.

This is all her fault. She shouldn’t have had a child that exposed their secrets.

But Ui is worth it, and so is their baby.

She’s still recovering from birth. Hairu knows Ui can run faster. “Wait.”

Ui whirls around as she shoves the baby at him. “No, Hairu -”

“Go, Koori.” Hairu smiles at him, one last time, with tears shining in her eyes.

An Rc bullet rips through her chest. She coughs and tastes blood.

“Hairu!” V shoots her again.

“Go!”

And he has no choice but to run, run with their child, as shot after shot rings out. But still Hairu stands, shielding her husband and baby with everything she has.

Ui doesn’t look back to see her finally collapse upon the cold street.

—————

A pounding at the door of Re alerts Kaneki. It’s 4 am.

Touka fires up her kagukan and hides behind the counter.

Kaneki opens to see a blood-sprayed Ui, clutching a mewling baby. “H – help me.”

He doesn’t need to ask about Hairu. Kaneki’s eyes fill with tears, and he welcomes his former colleague inside.

Hairu accidentally built a shelf

I was previously unaware of this phenomenon. Many thanks for enlightening me.

Matsumae dodges another blast from the investigator’s quinque. Wow, she is good.

And not even Shuu’s age.

“Look out.” Ihei Hairu aims again for her kagune shield, but just then, she slips on a patch of spilled blood.

Before Matsumae can slice her through the abdomen, Hairu has tumbled into her kagune shield. It wavers for a moment, then reforms as a shelf.

“Hah?” Matsumae stops their fight to stare.

“First Class! Do you need help?!” Two subordinates approach.

“Help? I accidentally built a shelf,” Hairu calls back. She grins at the ghoul. “Of all the imposing shapes, that is not one of them.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose,” snaps Matsumae.

“I don’t want a shelf quinque. Or one with a mind of its own.” Hairu frowns. “I’m not sure I can break through.”

“I’m not sure I can change it back,” Matsumae replies. Her kagune is stubborn today. “Call it a draw, then, young one?”

“I’ll kill you later,” Hairu calls as Matsumae detaches herself from the kagune and flees.

uihai cuddling in the ccg and didnt notice arima, hirako and the squad 0 kids staring at them

yassssss

“Koori, I’m cold.” It’s late at night in the CCG, and Hairu smells a perfect opportunity.

“Are you?” Ui sidles up to her desk and draws her close to him. He sits and she slides onto his lap. “Hi.”

“Hi yourself.” Hairu strokes his cheek and smiles. “I love you, Koori.”

“I love you, too.” He kisses the top of her forehead. “Is the paperwork good?”

“Almost. But now that I’m comfortable, I could totally stay longer.” Hairu winks, and Ui laughs. She always makes him laugh.

The flash of a camera catches Ui’s attention. “Who?”

He and Hairu both scream to see Hirako and Arima standing in the – admitted open – doorway. Shio holds a camera, and Yusa and Rikai peer out from behind Arima.

“Comfortable?” Hirako asks.

Ui flushes, but Hairu replies, “Very.”

“Good.” Arima’s face is bright red. “It’s bedtime, kids.”

“But I wanted to see her kiss him!” pouts Shio.

“I wanted to see him kiss her,” Rikai adds.

“Aw.” Hairu giggles. “We can’t disappoint them, Koori.”

“Huh?” Ui gasps as she presses her lips to his.

“Your turn.” Hairu pulls away.

Arima winks at him, and Ui’s pulse relaxes. He draws her close and savors every taste. Zero Squad claps in the background.

Uihai where Hairu is brought back as a full ghoul and Ui has to figure out how to deal with that and what side he’s on now?

I like the way you think. (I also kinda wouldn’t be surprised if this happens?)

“Oh Ui my dear.” Furuta waves Ui into his office. “I have a surprise for you.”

Ui approaches suspiciously. There’s a figure buried under a white sheet on Furuta’s desk. How many heads has the director arranged into a sculpture now? “What?”

“This!” Furuta yanks the sheet off to reveal Hairu, gagged and bound.

Two kakugans.

“Hairu!” cries Ui, lunging for her.

“Ah, ah, ah.” Furuta shoves him back.

“You bastard! What did you do to her?!”

“Nothing really. Kanou did it all. i’m not a scientist, but I’m flattered you think so.”

“Shut up and answer me.” Ui lowers his voice. Not Hairu. She can’t be.

“Only ghouls can be brought back. We were planning on turning her into a one-eyed, you know, kinda like Kaneki Ken. But turns out she was already part ghoul.” Furuta dissolves into laughter.

“Liar!” Ui’s seen her pass through Rc scanners.

Furuta snickers and cuts the gag off Hairu. “Hairu, my sweetheart, do you want to tell Ui about yourself?”

Hairu can’t move. She’s too afraid – even death did not frighten her, but Ui knowing – well, she can’t bear it.

“You’re going to tell him. We can do this the nice way or the hard way.” Before Ui can react, Furuta holds a knife at his throat.

“Stop.” Hairu’s breathing races.

“Tell the truth.”

Hairu’s face crumples. “It’s true, Koori.”

“More!” Furuta crows.

“I was born as a failed experiment between ghouls and humans. We’re a special type whose Rc cells can’t be detected by CCG’s scanners.” Hairu gasps through her tears. “How could I – how could I tell you and break your heart?”

Ui’s heart hammers. All this time, she’s been lying to him. She didn’t trust him. She is an enemy.

“Goodbye, Ui. Let it never be said I don’t keep my promises.” Furuta lifts the knife.

“Bastard!” Hairu leaps from her chair, snapping all restraints. Her red rinkaku, not unlike Kaneki’s, slams Furuta to the floor.

She looks at Ui tentatively.

He can barely breathe, but somehow he knows she, the woman who saved his life, is not an enemy. He grabs her hand – she may be a ghoul, but she’s warm and alive. “Tell me everything.”

Shiraiko/Beauty and the Beast

Anonymous asked: After that Mulan-Mutsurie mashup, I dare you to write Disney-film mashups for: Ayahina, Touken, Takirona, Akiramon, Uihai, Nishikimi, Tsukikana, Arieto, and Shiraiko. Ty and good night.

I’ll be posting these once a day (probably) until the list is done!

Mutsurie/Mulan: here.

Ayahina/Sleeping Beauty: here.

Uihai/Tangled: here.

Akiramon/The Hunchback of Notre Dame: here.

Tskukikana/The Little Mermaid: here.

Nishikimi/Snow White: here.

Takirona/Frozen: here.

“I’m not sure I can do this.” Shirazu cringes as Mutsuki helps him into a suit jacket. Damn her for holding him to promises made before he died.

“You must!” Higemaru stomps his foot. “You must be bold. Daring!”

He follows Shirazu to the mirror. “There will be music. Romantic candlelight, provided by us. And when the moment comes, you’ll confess your love!”

Shirazu stares at himself. “I’m hideous.”

“You look the same was ever,” Urie says in his quintessential bored voice.

“I’m not though.” He’s dead. He’s a zombie. A walking corpse. Whatever you want to call it.

He should never have agreed to this.

“It’s okay.” Sasaki – excuse him, Kaneki – pats his shoulder. “Saiko won’t care.”

“Now, show us your most winning smile.” Aura can’t believe he got roped into this. Not only is he now friendly with ghouls, but he’s also friendly with the undead.

“Maybe a little less…toothy,” Higemaru advises.

“Onward you go, brave one.” Kaneki smiles at him. He doesn’t care if Shirazu is a zombie. His kids are back.

Shirazu sees a very pregnant Touka and lithe Hsaio shove Saiko out from behind the curtain. She’s dressed in a beautiful blue ballgown that shimmers with her every move. White gloves adorn her hands.

“Hi,” she says, almost shyly.

Shirazu croaks. His stiff suit and jerky movements are even worse by comparison. “You look nice.”

Still, he takes her hand and leads her into the ballroom.

Ui stands there, ready to start singing. “Tale as old as time…”

“Of course you’d ask for this song.” Shirazu smiles at Saiko.

“It’s still the best.” Saiko offers him a mischievous grin.

With his heart pounding and something stuck in his throat, Shirazu places his arm around her waist. She steps in tune with the song, beaming brighter than the sun.

“Beauty and the beast…” Ui sings, and on cue, Saiko stops moving.

“I love you, Shirazu.”

“I’m – who can love a zombie?” Shirazu blinks back tears.

“Me. I do. Saiko does.” She draws him closer, and, peering into her sparkling eyes, Shirazu dares to hope he too might have a happy ending.

Hairu elbows Ui, who begins singing “Sha-la-la-la, don’t be shy…”

Touka tries not to laugh. The room erupts in cheers as the happy couple seals their future with a kiss.

Hairu tending to a sick Ui who thinks the world is dying because he feels like he is. But it’s only a cold.

“H-hairu.” Ui’s teeth chatter. “I hurt all over.”

Hairu wakes up immediately. She flicks on the light. It’s four am, and Ui looks like hell.

She presses her hand against his forehead. “You’re hot in more than one way.”

Ui moans. “Probably poisoned by ghouls.” He knew he should have had someone look at that kagune scrape on his arm.

“Ui, your scrape is gone.” Hairu leaps out of bed. “Wait here.”

“Come back,” he whines. “You were warm.”

She returns with a steaming cup of tea and two Tylenol. “For your fever, my sweetheart.”

“I feel like I’m dying. I haven’t been sick for ages.”

Hairu rubs his back. “You do realize you’ve only caught the same cold Hirako had last week?”

“No. I’m dying. Use me to sicken the ghouls.” Ui finishes the tea and collapses onto the pillows.

Hairu laughs. “You’ll sicken them with how healthy you are. Now, sleep.”

When he awakens in the morning, he’s surprised to find Hairu still here. “Aren’t you working?”

“Hmm? I called out.” Hairu lends him her most winning smile. “With you sick and dying, I need to take care of you.”

She’s so sweet, he almost feels better already.