You know who I haven’t seen on this blog in a long time? The Uihai family! Do you have any fluffy headcanons to share?

– Hairu was as boisterous as Masanori when they visited Disneyland. Her favorite ride was the teacups.

– Masanori preferred the swings, and Ui, the Haunted Mansion.

– Hairu then teased Ui about having a dark side.

– Ui vomited after the teacups, after he went on them over and over for Hairu’s sake.

– Hairu and Masanori have discovered a new addiction: cotton candy.

– Until Ui discovers that he’s addicted, too.

– The Uihai parents decide they cannot have it in their home. Because it’s dangerous.

– But every time Masanori sneaks it in (and he does, thanks to his many mischievous friends), they are secretly delighted.

auntie koharu telling masanori and miki embarrassing stories about their dad when he was younger and ui is absolutely horrified

Koharu is from @koyuki-tan‘s “Peace Sign.”

“Hey kids, want to hear about the time Daddy was trying to cook for Mommy?” Koharu smiles and smoothes her hair.

“Yesssss.” Masanori rubs his hands together. Miki bounces up and down.

“Well, he wanted to make er a birthday surprise. What actually happened was he tried to make melon buns.” Koharu leans forward. “But Mommy got off work early that day. She entered the door and – whoosh! – he was so surprised he spilt the sticky mix right on her.”

She’d then come in to find them taking a shower together, but the kids didn’t need to know that part.

“When he was reaaaaaally young, like your age, Miki, he also tried to cook. He wanted to make ramen for me and him.” Koharu smirks. “But we didn’t have noodles. So I took worms and old him they were noodles, and he served it to our whole family.”

Masanori giggles. “Then what happened?”

“He was the only one who’d taken a bite. Of broth, not even the worms. But he cried, vomited, and ran around screaming for the rest of the night. Oh, I’ve never seen him cry so much or so hard.” Koharu nods as she hears a cough from behind her.

“Why would you tel that story? It’s disgusting!” Ui is properly horrified.

Hairu doubles over with laughter. “Ui, you ate worms?”

“I trusted her!” Ui points desperately at Koharu. His face burns.

“Don’t kiss me tonight,” Hairu says with a wink.

Masanori asks out Rose but she rejects him

“Rose?!” Masanori bounds over to the pretty girl as she braids her hair.

“Yes?” Rose smiles. Her smile is so bright.

Masanori trembles and holds out a scribbling of a rose. “I drew this for you.”

“Ooh, it’s pretty.” Rose puts it beside her. “I’ll take good care of it. Thank you, Sir Masanori.”

“Do you wanna go get ice cream together?” Masanori blurts.

“Huh? Yeah, ice cream sounds fun. Can we invite Chiasa and Isamu?” Rose grins.

“Well, I guess…but actually, Rose, I wanted us to go. Together. I want to marry you!” Masanori clasps his hands.

“Do you have a ring?” Rose might consider it if he does.

“No…” Masanori’s face falls.

“Masanori, you’re really nice and sweet. But I don’t wanna marry anyone right now. We’re only six!” Rose laughs.

Masanori nods sadly. “Well, can we still get ice cream? You can eat it now, right?”

“Yes and oui.”

As Masanori waits for Chiasa and Isamu to hurry over, he plans to ask Mommy and Daddy how they got married.

Miki tells off Papa Koori for smoking please

“Daddy!” Miki stomps up to Ui the second she and Masanori arrive home from school.

“How was school?” Hairu hugs Masanori.

“Daddy smokes!” Miki screeches. “We learned about smoking. It is BAD and it will KILL YOU. YOUR LUNGS ARE ASH!”

She begins crying. “Daddy has ASH LUNGS! He’s like Cinderella, only inside!”

Masanori screams. “No, Daddy’s stronger than that!”

“Daddy will die!” Miki sobs.

Hairu blinks slowly as Ui gives her a desperate glare. Help me.

Ui cringes. This on-again, off-again habit of his has finally bit him in the ass. “Miki, Miki, Daddy’s not leaving you.”

“You won’t have a choice,” she hisses.

“Your Mom will donate some of her ghoul stem cells,” he teases.

“Hey!” Hairu sticks out her tongue. She’s secretly pleased Miki is all upset. Maybe Ui will finally kick his habit for good this time. “Not if you don’t stop, I won’t.”

“I’ll stop. For you, Miki. And you, Masanori.” Ui pulls his daughter closer to him. “I never want to lose you.”

“And Mommy?” Masanori asks.

Hairu grins. I raised me a good kid. It’s oddly touching. Maybe because she and Ui didn’t have many good models in their lives.

“Of course.” Ui holds out a hand to draw Hairu to his side. “Now…come help me throw out my cigarettes.”

He’s scared as hell, but for his family, he can do anything.

Masanori’s teenage years

Masanori continues to be a hellion well into his teenage years. He breaks curfew constantly – not out of malice, but out of sheer forgetfulness.

Tonight is no different.

Eventually, Hairu falls asleep. But Ui can’t. He stays up, waiting nervously for his son’s return.

Around 2 am, the door bursts open.

“Dad! I’m sorry!” Masanori’s voice cracks. “I stayed out late watching Harry Potter with Furuta.”

Of course, my son’s the only person who stays out late to spend time in prison. Ui sighs.

“Did you finish the eighth movie? That one’s my favorite.” Hairu blinks back sleep. She stands in the doorway to their bedroom.

“Furuta’s favorite character is Lucius. I think he wants a bad dad who would give up everything for his son.” Masanori looks sad.

“Oh.” Ui can’t help but pity Uncle Fruit. “Well, who is yours?”

“Since Sirius is dead, Ginny. She reminds me of Mom.” Masanori smiles at Hairu, who grins back.

“You’re like Bill, Ui.” Hairu winks.

“That would make me your brother!” He sticks out his tongue.

“Uh.” Masanori pales. “I’ll be off to sleep now. Sorry for the wait!”

I don’t know why they’d do this… Ui and Hairu bring Masanori to his first fancy restaurant.

“We’ve gotta bite the bullet sometime,” Hairu mutters to Ui.

He gulps. “I guess.”

“Whoa. So pretty.” Masanori gazes at the vaulted ceiling and beautiful arabesque walls. “I want to climb them.”

Ui sends Hairu a panicked look. He still hasn’t recovered from Disneyland Tokyo. They only just released the bird back into the wild.

“Mommy, can I try your wine?” Masanori asks. “If I whine enough.”

Hairu has to giggle at the pun. “Did Kaneki tell you to say that?”

“Uh-huh.” Masanori sucks down his soda. “I want to taste it please.”

Ui sighs and holds out his glass. He doesn’t trust Masanori enough to hold it on his own. “Just one sip.”

Masanori puckers his lips. “It’s bitter.”

Ui nods.

“Why do adults like icky food?” Masanori eyes the menu.

“Because when you’re an adult, icky food tastes good,” says Hairu.

“That sounds sad.” Masanori pauses.

“They have shrimp tempura,” Hairu teases.

Masanori’s eyes widen. “I like the crunchies.”

Ui breathes a sigh of relief.

In fact, they make it almost the entire way through the meal before disaster strikes. Sure, Masanori has crumbs all over his face, but he’s happy.

And then.

He reaches for his soda. It falls onto the white tablecloth.

“Oh no!” Masanori clutches the tablecloth, accidentally yanking all their dishes along with it. “Ah!”

Plates, glasses, and silverware crash to the floor. Masanori is covered in tempura remains and sake.

Waiters rush over, and Hairu has to laugh. Ui has to refrain from crying as they apologize.

“I’m sorry,” Masanori whispers.

“It’s okay.” Hairu wipes her eyes and grabs Masanori to carry him to the restroom to wash off. She had expected nothing less this entire night. But she just wanted Masanori the chance to experience a fancy restaurant, the kind she never got to visit as a kid.

Ui nods as he helps the waiters. It’s embarrassing, every day with Masanori is adventurous and embarrassing. And he loves it.

The Uihai family goes to Disneyland Tokyo…! Where they loose Masanori again! (Love your writings by the way)

Why thank you, Nonny-Mouse!

“Of course. Of course, we’ve lost Masanori again,” Ui mutters.

“Where could he be?” Hairu cranes her neck. “I don’t see him anywhere!”

They push their way through the crowd.

“Maybe he’s in the swings,” Hairu says desperately. She can’t help but fear that someone kidnapped a quarter-ghoul child for vengeance.

“Let’s check his favorite characters,” Ui suggests.

“I have a better idea,” Hairu says weakly. She lifts a shaking finger behind them.

“Huh?” Ui turns around. He shrieks.

Because Masanori is scaling the castle roof.

“Who taught him to climb?” Ui cries.

“Eto is his aunt and Shio and Furuta his uncles; how are you surprised?” Hairu shoots back.

They race towards the castle base, where security is already trying to coax him down.

But, naturally, he doesn’t listen. He just climbs higher.

“Masanori!” Hairu wails.

“You know this kid?” demands a guard.

“He’s our son,” Ui says weakly. Parents walk by, shaking their heads at them.

If they found out he’s part ghoul, they’ll hate him even more. Would the guards even try to rescue him? Ui’s anger ignites. It isn’t fair.

“Do you think you can talk him down? He’s awfully high.” The man is sweating, and Ui kinda hates him.

“What’s he looking at?” Hairu notices a speck on the roof as Masanori hoists himself onto the ledge. Her heart pounds.

He cradles it in his palm and totters back towards the edge of the roof.

“Be careful!” Hairu yells.

“Well, careful for being on the roof of a castle surrounded by security,” Ui says.

Security rushes through with a ladder, and Ui breathes easier. “Hang on, Masanori!”

When Masanori finally reaches the ground again, Hairu and Ui rush over. “What were you doing?”

Masanori holds up a bird with a broken wing. “I saw a birdy fall and I wanted to save it, Mommy.”

Ui sags against Hairu. His boy is truly the best.

Masanori’s Christmas adventure!

“MOMMY! DADDY!” Masanori races into their room. “Santa came!”

“Oh, did he?” Hairu smiles sleepily. She checks her phone. It’s 5 am. Hell.

“He did!” Masanori bounces up and down. “I was scared he wouldn’t like ghouls, but apparently he still thinks I’m nice.”

“I’d be more afraid of the naughty part than the ghoul part,” Ui teases, tickling his son.

Masanori shrieks. “Come help me open my presents!”

“Sure.” Hairu had planned to bake melon buns before the child awakened, but she clearly overestimated his excitement. She never got to celebrate Christmas in the Garden, though, so she’s secretly happy he woke up so early.

“Here you go.” Ui plops a Santa hat on Hairu’s head and a stocking on Masanori’s.

“What about you?” Hairu shivers with glee.

Ui shoves a bright red nose on himself. “I’m Rudolph.”

Their family dances downstairs to the Christmas tree.

Masanori wants to teach Miki all his nicks and tricks on mischief

“Miki, pay attention!” Masanori giggles. “I have something to show you.”

“Okay.” His sister is not nearly as adventurous as he, but Masanori’s sure that’s because she hasn’t tasted adventure yet.

“We’re going to steal cookies from the cookie jar.”

“Isn’t stealing b – bad?”

“No, because they taste good.” Masanori smiles. “I’ve never gotten in trouble. Watch me. The trick isn’t to taking the cookies; that’s easy. The key is not getting caught after.”

“Huh?”

“Watch.” Masanori takes two cookies. “Mommy and Daddy will find the crumbs. So, here’s what we do.”

He leads her back to their room and opens their closet. “See the ceiling door? That’s the attic.”

“How can you reach?”

“I climb my clothes.” Placing the giant cookie securely in his mouth, Masanori climbs his clothes until he dangles beneath the attic door. A ladder tumbles out, nearly impaling him, but Masanori doesn’t care.

“Let’s go up! We can make all the crumbs we want.” He leads a giggling Miki to the stuffy attic and turns on his flashlight. A sea of crumbs greets Miki. “Look, here are my pet ants!”

Ui and Hairu first telling masanori that he’s going to be a big brother?

“Masanori, we have some news for you.” Hairu watches their child stuff his face with a “ginormous” ice-cream sundae. Topped with his – and her – favorite strawberries. Ui prefers hot fudge.

“Hmm? What?” He looks up, sticky pink smeared across his cheeks to match his hair.

Ui squeezes her hand. “You’re going to be a big brother.”

They hold their breaths. This could go either way.

Masanori squeals with glee. “REALLY?!” He tilts his head back to smile at the ceiling. “Me, a big bro! I’ll get to teach him all the things.”

“Could be a she,” Hairu jokes.

Masanori makes a face. “I don’t care. I want my little person.”

Someone else to play with! To spy on the adults! To help him sneak cookies from the cabinet! This is awesome!

He quivers with excitement. “When?”

“In a few months. It’s growing in my tummy.” Hairu pats herself.

“Oh.” Masanori frowns, and then he asks the dreaded question. “How?”