Tag: funny

Hey, after the Dragon War ghouls were allowed to go to school right? Imagine Uta taking art classes just to see if there is anything he could learn from teachers which he haven’t already taught himself?

Yessss.

Uta would be the most obnoxious student.

Uta: “I don’t like this exercise.”

Instructor: “It’s important.”

Uta: *makes his art as creepy as possible to fuck with the instructor*

Instructor: *sees Itori and Yomo waiting for Uta outside.* “Are you his parents?”

Yomo: “You could tell?”

Uta: *cracks daddy joke*

Instructor: “I’m so close to banning him. I know he is the one who drew a dick on my desk. I just know it.”

Yomo and Itori: “Almost certainly.”

Uta: *smirks* “You’ll never ban me because you’re afraid I will eat you.” 

omgg, Tsukiyama cuddling alone with Hirako’s dog? <3

Omgggggg yasssss

At night, Tsukiyama sneaks out of his room into Hirako Take’s. The former investigator is on guard duty, and the kids are sleeping, so now it’s just him and Mr. Owl. 

Mr. Owl is Hirako’s Shiba Inu.

Mr. Owl is the dog Tsukiyama always begged Mirumo for, but Mirumo didn’t think his son was responsible enough. He probably wasn’t.

image

“I love you,” coos Tsukiyama, rubbing the dog behind its ears. “Good boy.” 

He takes a scrap of his own dinner and holds it out. There’s only one reason Tsukiyama Shuu would turn up food, and it’s a dog.

Mr. Owl seems to like human, just like his namesake. Tsukiyama grins and wraps his arms around the soft creature again.

People say ghouls are evil, but he’d never eat a dog.

Mr. Owl climbs atop Tsukiyama, showering the Gourmet with kisses. “Who’s a good boy? You are, that’s right. Mr. Owl deserves special food for a special doggo.”

Shio sits up and squints in the dark. “What are you doing?”

Tsukiyama laughs. “Turning your dog into a ghoul.”

Scenario: Uncle Shio

Coming right up, Nonny-Mouse. I love that kid!

Side note: Shio’s nephew Masanori is featured extensively in @hamliet’s fanfic “The (Mis)Adventures of GOAT.” I’m, er, borrowing her character (with permission) for this! 

“Where is he?” Shio bursts in the door to the hospital room where Hairu and Ui and their child are staying. “My nephew!”

Hirako dashes up behind him, flanked by Rikai and Yusa.

“Can he be our nephew, too?” Rikai asks.

“No! He’s an Ihei!” Shio crosses his arms as he flounces towards the bed. 

“His name is Masanori,” Hairu says with pride. “Masanori Kishou Ui.”

“He has your hair!” Shio takes the bundle so quickly Ui nearly has a panic attack. He rubs the pink fuzz on the baby’s head and giggles. “I’m gonna be the best uncle ever, aren’t I, Hirako?”

“Undoubtedly,” Hirako says, exchanging a smirk with Ui.

“I love him. He’s perfect.” Shio kisses the baby’s nose. It whimpers.

“What does that mean?” Shio asks nervously.

“I don’t know!” Ui looks at Hairu, his face white.

“It means he’s dreaming,” Hairu says with a sleepy smile.

“Hopefully he’s dreaming of the future. When his best Uncle gives him the most fantastic playdate he’ll ever have.” Shio is clearly planning this, years in advance.

“Love you, Masanori.” Shio reluctantly hands the baby back to Hairu. 

He saves his questions for after they leave the hospital. “Hirako, how did Hairu and Ui make a baby?”