Based on @koyuki-tan‘s “Peace Sign” and its sequel, “ScapeGOAT.”

“Get back here, you little twerp!” Brooke scrambles after a laughing Hajime.

“Come and get me!” Hajime laughs across the cafe. When Brooke hesitates – are those blurs chairs, children, or what? – he continues to mock. “What are you, scared?” 

“I am not scared!” Brooke lunges for him, but Hajime scampers outside, where he unleashes his kagune. 

“Where – are my glasses in your kagune?!” Brooke squints, but she can’t make out the details. “You little shit.”

“That’s my name. Don’t wear it out,” Hajime teases.

“I’m gonna murder you!” Now Brooke’s kagune emerges.

“Um, maybe don’t?” Higemaru begs, chasing after his wife.

“Make me stop, then!” Hajime chortles.

“Stay out of this!” Brooke shrieks.

Higemaru groans.

Five minutes later, a TSC patrols rushes up. Tsukiyama and Marude step outside, staring at the sight of…not the reported ghoul battle…but Brooke and Hajime, their own Quinx and Oggai, shouting insults at each other.

“LOL I gotta film this.” Tsukiyama yanks out his phone.

“I shoulda done this ages ago, you brat!” Brooke yells.

“What should we do?” The usually decisive Marude is now dumbfounded. 

“Nothing, because disaster is about to fall from the heavens.” Tsukiyama gestures towards a heavily pregnant Touka Kirishima, who storms out of her cafe. 

“You’re scaring my customers.” Touka growls. Her ukaku begins to grow, and her eyes darken. 

Hajime and Brooke immediately vanquish their kagunes, but to Hajime’s distress, Touka still shoots his hand with a small RC bolt.

His glasses drop, and Brooke scrambles to grab them. “Thank you, Touka.”

“You’re no fun,” Hajime complains.

“You know what’s going to be even less fun? This police report,” Marude grumbles.