imagine since the ghouls and humans are working together and the majority of goat practically worships sasaki, the anteiku squad comes in like “ehhhhhh he’s a dumbass” and urie in his head is like “these are my people” sits down with them anteiku squad starts recounting all the stupid stories they had of kaneki

OH MY GOD CAN THIS HAPPEN.

“Kaneki is amazing,” sighs one of the GOAT children.

“He’s a dumbass!” Serpent grumbles.

“Yes, but he’s my dumbass,” Rabbit shoots back.

“He’s my dumbass!” cries the Gourmet. “Mine! Just once, Touka-chan!”

Kaneki? A dumbass? Urie veers into their group. You are my people. “I’ve been calling him a dumbass since I found out he would be our Squad Leader.”

“You’re Urie, right? I’m Touka.” Rabbit holds out her hand with a smile.

He shakes it gingerly. “Yeah, I recognized you.”

“He once beat the shit out of me when Hide was in danger,” Nishiki recalls. “That being said, I had also beat the shit out of both of them.”

“Yeah, you kinda asked for that one,” Touka teases.

“I once tricked him into becoming dinner at the ghoul restaurant.” Tsukiyama frowns. “Not my finest hour.”

“Uh.” Urie blinks. “I once…got mad and told him where to shove it?”

“Oh did you?” Touka crosses her arms. “Do tell me more.”

“Touka would know.” Tsukiyama wiggles his eyebrows.

“Shut up.” Touka sighs. “I also punched him around a lot when we were younger. He didn’t know ghoul things, and he made me mad, and I didn’t know how else to handle it.”

“Yeah, I mean, that’s why I made his Squad Leader hell, too. I didn’t know where to place my anger.” Urie sighed.

“See, we’re alike.” Tsukiyama spread his hands.

“I didn’t try to let him be eaten as entertainment!” Urie exclaims.

“Oh, you think that’s bad?” Tsukiyama waves Ayato over. “Ayato, what’re you’re thoughts on Kaneki?”

“My brother-in-law is a dumbass,” grumbles the second Rabbit.

“I like you,” Urie says.

“Wait to you hear what he allowed.” Tsukiyama cackles. “See, we’re all people who’ve done terrible things, just like you at CCG. And if we can unite with each other, we can unite with you.”

Members of Aogiri’s ideal partner? (I initially need Shousei and Hooguro but I want the rest toooooooooooo)

Shousei – Someone who isn’t afraid of scars. They should be sweet and innocent to bring out his soft side. Someone to cuddle at night.

Hooguro – He wants a drama queen. Someone he can laugh with, have adventures with, be wild with.

Naki – Someone who shows him kindness and doesn’t think he’s dumb. Possibly someone snarky.

Miza Kusakari – Someone fierce but wildly kind, a untamed sweetheart.

Ayato Kirishima – Someone who cares enough to see through his prickly-pear exterior. Probably someone who buys him coffee and lets him vent without judging him. Someone who gives him hope.

Hinami Fueguchi – Someone who encourages her, who sees her as strong and brave despite her desire not to kill.

Tatara – A level-headed, practical person who will plot and strategize with him all night long.

Eto – Someone mysterious, someone who is the strength of her enemies…someone for whom she is their weakness. 😉

Noro – Someone who makes him feel alive, who isn’t afraid of his undead appearance.

Yamori – Someone into BSDM who nevertheless sees past all his shit.

Pure. Ayahina. Smut. (bonus if Hinami tops)

“Hina, what are you doing?” Ayato awakens to Hinami slipping into his room. Tomorrow he leaves Goat’s Headquarters to explore the 24th Ward, and he really needs a good night’s sleep.

“Saying goodbye,” she whispers, sliding closer to his bed. She wraps her arms around him. “Stay safe.”

“I always do,” he says.

Hinami snorts, and Ayato has to chuckle. “Okay, okay, okay. I promise.”

“Good.” She kisses his forehead, and Ayato responds with a forceful kiss to her mouth.

Hinami gasps and pulls him closer to her.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for ages,” Ayato admits.

“Oh really?” Hinami blushes in the dark.

“Yes. But I never realized how special you are until you were in Cochlea and I thought I could lose you. That was horrible beyond words,” Ayato says.

Hinami’s heart melts. “I love you, too, Ayato.”

Ayato gasps. She understands! He kisses her again, and Hinami falls over him.

Hinami peers down at him. “Hey.”

“Do you…do you want to…” Ayato can’t say the words. He’s too scared.

“Yes.” Hinami smiles.

“Me too,” he squeaks.

He loves the feeling of Hinami atop him, pulling up his shirt and kissing his chest. He loves the feeling of her pulling down his pants and what she finds underneath. Hopefully it’s more than she expected.

He loves her guiding his hands under her shirt, to feel her pert little breasts. When he removes her skirt, his heart pounds with love and desire, and a moan escapes his lips.

“You’re so cute.” Hinami leaves a butterfly kiss on his cheek. They roll around on his bed, unsure what to do for a bit besides explore, and then finally Ayato summons the courage to ask her if she’s ready.

She nods.

“Let me know if it hurts,” he says quickly. “I’ll go slow.”

Hinami doesn’t even wince. She smiles instead, ecstatic to be linked to him , and slowly begins rocking her body atop his.

Ayato cries out a few minutes later, after quickly pulling out because he’s not idiot enough to risk a baby. No, he must make sure this is as pleasant for Hina as for him. He reaches for her, and she clutches him tightly until he makes her gasp with pleasure.

When it’s over, and their euphoria fades into satisfaction, they snuggle together. Ayato still wishes he never had to leave, but if he had to, this is exactly the goodbye he would have wanted.

ayatos human s/o gets pregnant and he basically has a huge freak out and straight up tells her to get rid of it (all of your pregnant stories have been so good🐰)

Awwww thank you. Pregnancy stories are my favorite because ANGST.

“You sick?” Ayato sticks his head in their bathroom door. Fuck privacy, his s/o is vomiting for the second time this week.

“No,” they say, wiping their mouth.

“I smell puke, [Name].” He makes a face.

“I said I’m fine!”

Ayato is hurt, though he won’t show it. “Fine then. Have it your way. But, as an executive, I better not see you on a mission today.”

He stalks away, and almost misses their weak reply, “I’m pregnant.”

Ayato freezes, his hand on the doorknob. “What?”

“I said I am pregnant.” His S/O slumps to the tiled floor. Fat tears roll down their cheeks.

“Are – are you sure?” Ayato begins to shake.

They nod.

“I – I can’t – I won’t be Arata! I can’t do that to a kid!” he shrieks. “[Name], I’m begging you: get rid of it.”

His s/o looks shocked.

Isn’t she relieved? He doesn’t want her to bear this burden.

“I don’t know if I want to! I … I actually might want it,” they plead. “And anyhow, don’t tell me what to do.”

Ayato turns red. “I wasn’t.”

“Ayato, you just told me to get rid of it.”

“I don’t want to be a dad. I’ll be awful. You’ll be in danger.” Ayato runs a hand through his hair. “If – if someone finds out an Aogiri executive has a family – ”

“Touka’s gonna kill you, and that’s what you’re afraid of,” his S/O shoots back.

Ayato cowers. He knows they’re right. “I’m sorry.”

“Damn right you are,” they say with a slight smile. He smiles back.

“Will you leave me if I keep it?”

Ayato gasps. “No! No, [Name], never.” He crosses the room to wrap his arms around them. “I’ll never leave you. I’m just scared, that’s all.”

They embrace him back. “Me too.”

He holds them – and his blossoming child – in his arms. And for a moment, he thinks maybe he can do this after all.

Everyone’s reaction to Fueguchi Hinami saying the word: “Fuck.”

I’m dying of laughter.

Kaneki: *gasps* Hinami?! *world tilts*

Touka: The fuck did you just say?

Tsukiyama: *faints*

Yomo: *pretends he heard nothing. Later cries in his room alone*

Nishiki: Don’t you dare start using Touka’s language!

Koma: This is entertaining. The Devil Ape used to wash out Touka’s mouth with soap. (Touka: You fucking did not).

Irimi: grins

Naki: Why is everyone upset? I like that word.

Miza: Ayato has not been a good influence.

Ayato: *cheers* Allow me to enlighten you on the eloquence of creative cursing.

Both Kaneki and Touka try to tell off Ayato and Hinami for having sex angrily but then Hinami’s retort is “at least we //used// a condom!” write it however, I just need this :)

Ayato stumbles out of his room, still in his pajamas, late for another GOAT meeting.

“Oops!” Hinami clamors out after him, wearing a nightgown.

Tsukiyama shrieks. “Tres bien, little HInami!”

“What’s all this?” Kaneki enters the hallway and promptly faints.

When he awakens, Ayato and HInami stand awkwardly to one side, while Touka cradles his head and shoots dagger eyes at Ayato.

“I can’t fucking believe you,” Touka hisses.

“Romance is good!” Tsukiyama cheers.

“Shut up, you.” Touka turns back to Ayato. “Hina’s a child!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, I am not, Onee-chan.” Hinami stomps her foot. “Stop thinking of me that way. I like Ayato and I’m proud to have made love to him.”

Kaneki gurgles. Tsukiyama squeals. And Touka tries not to vomit.

“You know,” Ayato says slyly, taking Hinami’s hand. “At least we used a condom.”

Kaneki pales. Okay, okay, they’ve been bested. Touka narrows her eyes.

“I gave them a proper talk,” Tsukiyama adds unhelpfully. “So I wouldn’t expect any nieces or nephews soon.”

Ayato leans over to kiss Hinami.

“Kaneki, we failed to lead by example,” Touka whispers.

“Touka, I’m scared,” he whispers back.

A scenario where Arata comes back and Yomo tells Touka and Ayato he’s their uncle

ANGST OF GLORY

Touka drops her plate. Yomo enters her new cafe, Dragon, with someone leaning on his shoulder.

Everyone’s been out raiding the CCG tanks, while she sits here on bloated ankled with a bloated stomach. Eto and Yoshimura she’s heard were discovered, and she can’t wait to see Yoshimura and punch Eto.

But the man leaning against Yomo, the thin man with her blue hair and Ayato’s eyes.

Yomo sees the confusion on her face.

“What’s all this? Dropping a plate?: Ayato saunters in, Hinami by his side.

“Oh hell no!” He screams, and flees upstairs.

“Hina.” Touka manages.

“On it.” Hinami thunders after Ayato. “Don’t make Yotsume angry!”

“Dad?” Touka whispers.

Arata’s eyes focus on his daughter. His very pregnant daughter.

Kaneki enters the room, dragging Ayato by his feet while Hinami takes his hands.

“That’s your son-in-law.” Yomo points to Kaneki, who pales.

He’s been outed way too soon. Damn you, Yomo.

Touka approaches hesitantly.

“I – I’m sorry,” Arata says. All these years he’s been gone. And now –

Touka is afraid to hug him. Bu she remembers Akira, and what Akira wouldn’t give for this chance.

So she does. Arata gasps with happiness he knows he doesn’t deserve.

“This is Ayato and your future-daughter-in-law,” Yomo narrates.

Ayato and Hinami turn red. But then Hinami shoves him forward, and he starts sobbing into Arata’s shoulders.

“Thank you, Yomo. For taking care of them,” Arata says.

“I didn’t much. That was Yoshimura,” Yomo admits.

“You knew each other?” Hinami’s eyes are wide.

“He’s Hikari’s brother,” Arata says gently.

“Wait what.” Touka steps back to stare at Yomo.

Ayato kicks him in the shins.

“I was too afraid of failure to tell you,” Yomo admits.

“And here I thought I was the one afraid of failure,” Kaneki says.

“Hey, you’re lucky I didn’t beat the shit out of you, kid,” Yomo snaps.

Arata is amazed. Someone, these people made a family without even considering bloodlines.

He loves them all. He hopes they forgive him.

He touches Touka’s belly. “Boy or girl?”

“Twins,” she replies with a straight face.

Arata collapses as Touka shrieks. “I was kidding! Kidding!”

TG characters as Christmas Songs 🎄

I’ve sorted the characters according to their introductory affiliation.

Anteiku/Re Affiliates

Kaneki Ken – O Holy Night

Nagachika Hideyoshi – Hark! The Herald Angels Sing

Yoshimura Kuzen – What Child Is This?

Kamishiro Rize – All I Want for Christmas Is You

Kirishima Touka – Angels We Have Heard on High

Koma Enji – Frosty the Snowman

Irimi Kaya – The First Noel

Yomo Renji – The Holly and the Ivy

Kosaka Yoriko – Love Came Down

Hinami Feuguchi – Silver Bells

Nishiki Nishio – We Three Kings

Nishino Kimi – O Christmas Tree

Tsukiyama Family

Tsukiyama Shuu – The 12 Days of Christmas

Karren von Rosewald – Last Christmas

Matsumae – Good King Wenceslas

Mirumo – We Wish You a Merry Christmas

Chie Hori – What Child is This?

Clowns

Uta – Ding Dong Merrily on High

Itori – Mele Kalikimaka

Hoito Roma – Wonderful Christmastime

Nimura Furuta – You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

Rio/Shikorae – Up on the Housetop

Nico – Santa Baby

Donato Porpora – Here Comes Santa Claus

Aogiri Tree

Kirishima Ayato – Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24

Yamori – Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer

Tatara – White Christmas

Yoshimura Eto – Carol of the Bells

Noro – Silent Night

Miza Kusakari – I Saw Three Ships

Naki – Jingle Bells

Hakatori – Making Christmas

Banjou Kazuichi – O Little Town of Bethlehem

CCG

Amon Koutarou – O Come All Ye Faithful

Takizawa Seidou – O Come, O Come, Emmanuel

Mado Akira – Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Houji Kousuke- Away in a Manger

Mado Kureo – Santa Claus Is Coming to Town

Marude Itsuki – God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

Washuu Yoshitoki – Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire

Washuu Matsuri – Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy

Washuu Tsuneyoshi – The Christmas Shoes, because it pains everyone else

Kuriowa Takeomi – Ave Maria

Kuriowa Iwao – Angels from the Realms of Glory

Aura Kiyoko – Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree

Tanakamaru Mougan – Go Tell It on the Mountain

Shinohara Yukinori – Happy Christmas (War is Over)

Itou Kuramoto – God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

Kurona Yasuhisa – I’ll Be Home for Christmas

Hajime Hazuki – All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth

Mayazumi – Run Rudolph

Arima Squad

Ihei Hairu – The Wassail Song

Arima Kishou – O Come, O Come, Emmanuel

Ui Koori – Little Drummer Boy

Take Hirako – Let It Snow

Arima Yusa – It Came Upon a Midnight Clear

Ihei Shio – Deck the Halls

Souza Rikai – Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Suzuya Squad

Suzuya Juuzou – Once in a Royal David’s City

Keijin Nakarai – Silver and Gold

Hanbee Abara – Walking in a Winter Wonderland

Miyuki Mikage – Holly Jolly Christmas

Mizurou Tamaki – Jingle Bell Rock

Quinx Squad

Yonebayashi Saiko – Joy to the World

Shirazu Ginshi – Feliz Navidad

Urie Kuki – Do You Hear What I Hear?

Mutsuki Tooru – Please Come Home for Christmas

Hsaio Ching-Li – Sleigh Ride

Aura Shinsanpei – Blue Christmas

Higemaru Touma – Little Drummer Boy

Headcannons for the memes of Goat waking up with morning wood

Kaneki Ken – panics until Touka, er, helps him out.

Yomo Renji – annoyed but goes about his day.

Tsukiyama Shuu – What a blessed morning! He might pleasure himself.

Kirishima Ayato – Ain’t got time and/or Hinami for this shit.

Naki – Wait what is happening. *runs out of room* MIZA DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING?

Nishiki Nishio – misses Kimi.

Hirako Take- Holy sh – I mean crap – can you not, body? What if the children see?! o.O

Kazuichi Banjou – Doesn’t leave his room until it’s gone.

Koma Enji – The devil remains strong in the ape, I see. *evil grin*

Takizawa Seidou – Well at least some part of me remains lifelike. *feels sad*

( a continuation of the mutsuki and touka reunion? at the ccg) The whole time mutsuki is flipping out, touka is just calming drinking her decaf coffee (cause i don’t think pregnant ladies can have caffeine) and says “man, i always heard about people hating their inlaws but this just takes the cake” which is overheard by several q-squad members and just adds to the confusion

Touka sips the terrible decaf coffee Hide brewed just for her. “Man, I always heard about people hating their in laws but this just takes the cake, you know?”

“You can eat cake?” Saiko asks.

“In laws? You mean, you really are married?” Takizawa laughs. “Holy shit!”

“Does that make you my mother?” gasps Higemaru. “Because I am down with that. She’s a badass.”

“I hate her! I hate her! She’s not our mother!” cries Mutsuki. “She – she stole Sensei away! That slut!”

Ayato rises, but Hinami yanks him back.

“Touka is actually pretty cool for the rabbit who killed my dad,” Akira says, tossing her a wry smile. Akira keeps her hands massaging Mutsuki’s shoulders.

Aura spits out his coffee. “She what?”

“Say it, don’t spray it,” says Nishiki with a glare.

“Oh come off it, we’re all killers here.” Kurona primly lifts her mug.

“Mutsuki, Kaneki left you because he couldn’t face himself,” Tsukiyama says quietly. “He’s never been good at that. Not that I have either. He craves a family but fears the hurt that comes with love. It was his failing, not yours. Not Touka’s.” He smiles slightly. “He told me the list of people he cared about once. Believe me, you Quinx were included.”

Mutsuki sniffles. “Really?”

But I am awful. I kill families. But Akira is rubbing his back, and Urie has approached him, and Saiko looks at him with kindness he doesn’t deserve. Did he leave the Quinx home, too?

“Really.” Tsukiyama nods.

Mutsuki lets out a little sob, and that does it. Saiko springs up and embraces him. Even Touka has to smile.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Ayato stands up. “Touka! Does that mean you really are – the rumors – the decaf -”

He turns purple. “I CAN’T HELP HIM!”

“Sit down and shut up,” Yomo mumbles.

Ayato sits.