0 Squad finds out about Furuta’s Quinx surgery and dastardly plots before Arima dies (also Hairu lived through the Rose Arc obvs) and confront him.

Fruit-chan, he’s such a dastard.

Yusa doesn’t know if anyone will believe him. He’s not sure he believes himself.

“What’s wrong?” Shio grins. 

Yusa motions Rikai and Shio closer to whisper in their ears. “I saw Investigator Furuta with one kakugan.”

“Are you sure?” Rikai asks sharply.

Yusa nods.

“Well.” Shio rubs his hands together. “There’s only one thing left to do.”

“Tell Arima-san?” Yusa is intimidated by his relative.

“No.” Shio sounds scandalized. “Break into his office. Steal his phone. We’ll do the investigation.”

Yusa and RIkai know that when Shio wants to be brave, there’s little they can do but follow. 

——————————————————————————-

“Fruit-chan!” Yusa and Shio tackle the investigator in a hug.

“Huh?” Furuta sounds oddly frightened. His phone has spilled out of his pocket. 

“We’re going around hugging people today,” Shio says proudly. “To show our older relatives some love.”

Furuta smiles, but he looks dead inside. He was always a loner in the garden, pining for Rize and refusing to cheer on the family. 

Rikai, meanwhile, attaches a wire to his phone as Shio babbles on about an unimportant memory. After a minute, during which Furuta’s smile grows markedly more strained, Rikai yanks the wire free and nods.

“Well, gotta go hug Hsaio!” Shio jumps back.

“She’s much scarier than you,” Yusa can’t resist adding.

But what they find on his phone makes him regret those words.

——————————————————————————-

Furuta strolls back into his office, whistling and pretending Eto doesn’t exist because he’s killed her. Yes. That’s it.

“Hi there.” Hirako lounges in his chair, boots planted on his desk.

“Pardon?”

The door swings shut behind him. Arima, flanked by Hairu and Ui, glares at him.

“Is there a problem?” Furuta tries to laugh.

“You’re much scarier than Hsaio.” Yusa looks sad as he, Rikai, and Shio crawl out from under his desk.

“Hello, brats.” Furuta smiles innocently. “I’m confused.”

Hairu holds up his medical records. 

“Those – those are sealed!” Furuta backs away. Arima blocks the door. 

“Not by flirtatious doctors.” Ui scowls as Hairu shakes her head. “Really, Souta?”

“Don’t call me that!”

“Why? It’s your real name, isn’t it?” Hirako shrugs.

“You know? And you, too?” Furuta swings around to Ui. “You’re okay with – with them?” 

“We know a lot more, clown.” Ui takes no pleasure in this. He still can’t believe Arima and Hairu and the kids are ghouls. 

Furuta lunges for the window, but Hirako catches him and drags him to the ground.

“No – no – let me go!” screams Furuta. “Please! You fuckers!”

“You’re not supposed to say that word.” Rikai is perhaps more scandalized by his cursing than his plots.

 “We’ll bring you to interrogation and we will learn everything you planned,” Arima says firmly.

Furuta knows what awaits him in interrogation. He shakes his head wildly. “You – you just went along with this – at least i did something – fuck you!”

Arima squats before Furuta as Hirako cuffs him. “I have my own plans. Always have.” 

“Then why didn’t you save us?” Despite his best efforts, Furuta’s voice cracks. 

Shio’s lips quiver. He throws himself at Furuta. “I still want to hug him!” 

Furuta scoffs, but some portion = of the kid who saved Rize must remain, because Arima and Hairu see him lean in to Shio’s embrace, ever so slightly. 

Please give Hajime Hazuki some love and some friends.

My bitter murder child needs some serious love. Doctor’s orders.

Hajime tries to bite Hirako, because he’s part ghoul and loves the irony, but a blow from Rikai knocks him back.

“Ghoul,” snaps Shio, locking cuffs onto him.

He can see Mom being eaten, Dad screaming for them to kill him instead. He’s running for the window again.

“So are you!” Hajime screeches. “So are you! All of you – except Hirako! At least I’m gonna stop you all! Fuck you!” 

He screams and screams as they tighten the restraints, cutting off his circulation. Hirako searches his body and yanks the tracker out from his tongue. 

Hirako tries to herd Squad 0 away, but Yusa hesitates. “He’s really upset.” 

The door bursts open, and SS-Yotsume stands there, her emo boyfriend at her side. 

“Hajime Hazuki.” Hinami steps forward.

“Fuck you, ghoul.”

“No, that’s Ayato’s job,” Hinami says sweetly. Ayato chokes, but he made a vow of silence in exchange for accompanying her, and he’ll stick to it if it’s the last thing he does. It might be.

“Huh?” Hajime looks confused.

“Never mind!” Hirako says quickly.

Hinami sits across from Hajime. After a moment, Shio joins her, followed by Yusa and Rikai. With a sigh, Hirako finds himself sitting besides Hajime.

“We like you,” Hinami says. “Well, I do. I know what it’s like to have your parents killed.”

“Do you? Do you know what it’s like to watch them cut off your mom’s head?” shrieks Hajime.

“Yes,” she replies calmly.

“Well, she deserved it.” He scowls.

“She was a pacifist. She only at corpses. We all did.” Hinami pauses. “But I joined Aogiri for revenge anyway.”

————————————————————————-

Hajime isn’t sure why she keeps visiting him, but after a few days, he begins to realize he likes her company. She’s kind, and she’s always accompanied by Squad 0, who cheekily remind him of their adventures in the academy.

But it’s Hirako’s pat on the head one day that precipitates his tears.

“You know you’re a good kid, right? Despite the cursing?” 

He’s not a good kid. If he was, Mom and Dad wouldn’t have died, right?

Hinami embraces him, and soon Squad 0 has cocooned him in a hug. 

“Do not be afraid, Hajime.” Hinami nods. “At GOAT, you are loved.” 

Koori and Hairu celebrate Halloween?

“Koori!” Hairu hurries into CCG decked out in a shimmering blue ballgown. Fairy wings flutter behind her, and a tiara crowns her hair. 

She’s so beautiful it hurts. 

“You!” Hairu gapes at him. Ui has dressed like Prince Charming, complete with a tiara that matches hers. “How did you know?”

“I made Saiko tell me your plans for Halloween. I wanted to match.” His face is as pink as her hair.

“I didn’t think you’d like dressing like a prince.” Hairu nods slyly. “It suits you.”

“I hope,” Ui says nervously. He feels silly, but Hairu is happy and that’s what he cares about.

“Let’s get into position!” 

Saiko, dressed as a witch, strides past. Police Officer Urie, Samurai Shirazu, and Cat Mutsuki follow her.  “Better watch out, Inspector Bowl Cut, or I’ll hex your girlfriend.”

“Get in position!” Hairu calls.

Even Matsuri Washuu is ready – though scowling in his stormtrooper outfit, because unbeknownst to him, Yoshitoki had already planned Darth Vader.

Arima peers out of his office. 

“Did you do it, Hirako?” Hell’s Angel Marude grins. 

“Oh, we did,” Hairu assures him, as Shiba Hirako shoves Arima out. 

Yes, his Squad managed to convince him to dress like a Roman god, complete with a toga and olive branches in his hair. 

“I can’t believe you got me to agree to this,” Arima mumbles.

“You’re brilliant,” Ui whispers to Hairu. She pecks him on the cheek.

“They’re coming!” Hairu whistles, and everyone ducks back into their respective offices.

“Trick or treat!” Shio pounds at their door.

Ui opens to see Ghost Yusa, Vampire Rikai, and Zombie Shio. “Well, well, well, you’re not ghouls, so I suppose we can let you pass.”

“But just to ensure you don’t get hungry.” Hairu dumps candy into their bags. 

When the kids move next door, Ui grabs Hairu and kisses her. He feels stupid, but he has to say it. “You’re my fairy princess.” 

Ui getting teased by his colleagues abt his crush on hairu and hairu doesnt know ui likes her

soutasnotebook:

Omg this is an Uihai tsunami and I love it.

“Sooooo. What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?” Hirako sits on Ui’s desk – the nerve – and grins at Ui.

“What’s with your cheeky face?” he asks sourly.

“So grumpy. Pining away, are we?”

“What?” Ui gasps. “For who? You’re crazy!”

“Methinks thou doth protest too much.” Kiyoko Aura breezes past. 

Ui turns scarlet as all the Squad 0 kids giggle. “Who?”

Arima strolls towards them, and Shio waves him over. “Arima, Arima! Do you think Ui should buy Hairu chocolates or roses for Valentine’s Day?”

Yusa and Rikai dissolve into giggles again, and even Hirako seems taken aback.

“What?” Arima frowns. Koori and Hairu? Hairu and Koori? “Hmm, yes, I can see that.” Honestly, he rather likes the idea. “Buy her what you think she’d want.”

“How do I know?” Ui whispers.

“Ask her or her friends,” Hirako whispers back.

“What’s everyone doing here? Is there a mission to prepare for?” Hairu skips over to them. “Ui, you look red, are you okay?” 

Ui gurgles. 

“Hypothetically,” begins Hirako.

“The kids are wondering what to buy others for Valentine’s Day,” Arima interrupts. They threw Ui, he can throw them. It’s a life lesson.

“Ooh. Roses and chocolate and candlelit dinners are nice. But you know what’s best? Telling someone they like you. I think.” Hairu imagines her perfect Valentine’s Day.

When she waltzes away, the rest of Arima Squad stares at Ui. 

“Better practice that confession.” Arima turns around. “Kids, it’s practice time.”

They all stand. 

“You’re welcome,” Hirako says to a mortified Ui. 

@koyuki-tan @hamliet

The day dawns, the day Ui’s feared since he learned what love was.

Valentine’s Day.

If he doesn’t tell Hairu, Arima will be disappointed and Hirako will think him a coward. 

He has a bouquet of chocolate roses and candlelit dinner reservations. How Arima managed to get him such pricey reservations, he wasn’t sure; all Arima said was that he had ‘a friend’ who ‘knew their way around’ Tokyo. 

“It might all be for nothing,” Ui reminded him.

“It won’t,” Arima assures him. 

But now Ui doubts Arima Kishou. He arrives at CCG soaked in sweat. He can feel everyone’s eyes on the chocolate bouquet in his hands. That slimy Rank 1 Furuta barely covers his laughter.

Hairu rounds the corner and smacks into him. “Koori! I didn’t see you behind – this thing.” 

Her eyes widen. “Who’s this for?”

She’ll kill the girl. Just kidding. But she was not counting on losing Ui on Valentine’s Day. Unless…

“You!” Ui thrusts the bouquet in her face. “Chocolate roses, and I have dinner reservations at a fancy restaurant downtown. If you want. If you don’t, I understand, but please keep the chocolate -”

“Koori,” Hairu interrupts. She’s beaming from ear-to-ear. He remembered that entire conversation? Koori is sweeter than chocolate. “Yes, but only if you help me finish the candy.”

He breaks into a smile. “Really?”

“You’re amazing. Why wouldn’t I like you?” Hairu shivers. “I just – I thought you didn’t – you are so focused on work -”

“Chocolate!” Shio races in.

“He did it!” Rikai cheers, and Yusa hurries over. “Can we have some chocolate, too?”

Hairu blinks. “Um, okay.”

“Please make sure you have some,” says Ui.

“Not to worry.” She winks. “Tonight?”

“Tonight.”

Ui getting teased by his colleagues abt his crush on hairu and hairu doesnt know ui likes her

Omg this is an Uihai tsunami and I love it.

“Sooooo. What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?” Hirako sits on Ui’s desk – the nerve – and grins at Ui.

“What’s with your cheeky face?” he asks sourly.

“So grumpy. Pining away, are we?”

“What?” Ui gasps. “For who? You’re crazy!”

“Methinks thou doth protest too much.” Kiyoko Aura breezes past. 

Ui turns scarlet as all the Squad 0 kids giggle. “Who?”

Arima strolls towards them, and Shio waves him over. “Arima, Arima! Do you think Ui should buy Hairu chocolates or roses for Valentine’s Day?”

Yusa and Rikai dissolve into giggles again, and even Hirako seems taken aback.

“What?” Arima frowns. Koori and Hairu? Hairu and Koori? “Hmm, yes, I can see that.” Honestly, he rather likes the idea. “Buy her what you think she’d want.”

“How do I know?” Ui whispers.

“Ask her or her friends,” Hirako whispers back.

“What’s everyone doing here? Is there a mission to prepare for?” Hairu skips over to them. “Ui, you look red, are you okay?” 

Ui gurgles. 

“Hypothetically,” begins Hirako.

“The kids are wondering what to buy others for Valentine’s Day,” Arima interrupts. They threw Ui, he can throw them. It’s a life lesson.

“Ooh. Roses and chocolate and candlelit dinners are nice. But you know what’s best? Telling someone they like you. I think.” Hairu imagines her perfect Valentine’s Day.

When she waltzes away, the rest of Arima Squad stares at Ui. 

“Better practice that confession.” Arima turns around. “Kids, it’s practice time.”

They all stand. 

“You’re welcome,” Hirako says to a mortified Ui. 

Hirako tries to parent Shio, Yusa, and Rikai. Preferably with angst and fluff. Please write this before one of them dies my heart can’t take what I fear is coming.

Okay, none of the kids are allowed to die. 

“Rikai, why are you crying?” Hirako is tired and parenting is the last thing on his list of desired. 

The good news, as Arima reminded him, is that all the Squad 0 kids had such piss-poor parenting anything he fails at will still look good by comparison.

But Hirako doesn’t want to look good by comparison. He wants to be good. 

“B – because I’m having a bad memory,” sniffles Rikai. 

“Well.” Hirako settles next to Rikai, his hand on her shoulder. “It’s in the past, but sometimes it helps to talk about it. You want to?”

“We’re getting older.” Rikai clutches his hand instead of answering the question. She can’t divulge her memories, not yet. “We’re gonna die before everyone else. And I don’t want to – I don’t want to die!”

She covers her face and sobs. 

Shio is crying, too. “We’re supposed to be brave.”

“Bravery,” says Hirako softly, “means facing your fears. You know, I’m scared of dying, too.”

“You are?” Yusa gapes at him.

“Yes. And then I have to ask myself why.” Hirako shrugs. “And I’m afraid because I want my life to be worthwhile.”

“We like your life!” cries Shio.

“I know, and I’d say y life is worth it with you kids in it.”

Rikai coughs. “You mean – we’re not a burden?”

“Are you sure?” Yusa asks.

“Of course. I wouldn’t trade you all for the world.” Hirako grabs the kids and pulls them tight.

He doesn’t know how they’ll fix the aging issue, but they will. These kids deserve the world they’re fighting for. 

But consider all of the cast with lightsabers.

Oh my word

I’ve sorted the characters according to their introductory affiliation.

Anteiku/Re Affiliates

Kaneki Ken – After inheriting a very special bright red/Darth Maul two-sided saber from the fallen Rize Kamishiro, he finds himself hunted by the Dark Side.

Nagachika Hideyoshi – His is light blue, like Luke’s. 

Yoshimura Kuzen – He’s long retired his purple lightsaber, except when he brings it out to clean up after his daughter, Darth Owl. It used to be his lover Ukina’s, from whom he learned how to wield it. 

Kamishiro Rize – She was exceptionally skilled with her two-sided saber, but is currently saber-less. 

Kirishima Touka – Hers is dark blue and she wields it well. 

Koma Enji – Green.  

Irimi Kaya – Green. This is why she and Koma first fought in the 20th ward, before Yoshimura convinced them there was room for two green sabers.

Yomo Renji – Darksaber all the way.

Kosaka Yoriko – Yellow-green, but she would rather not use it. 

Hinami Feuguchi – Yellow, two-sided, and she possesses uncanny skill. 

Nishiki Nishio – green and cracked. 

Nishino Kimi – green (this is how she met Nishiki). He then cracked her crystal by accident, and learned the power of love by her forgiveness. 

Tsukiyama Family

Tsukiyama Shuu – the gourmet’s is indigo to match his hair, and he adores it to the point that he talks to it. Still, he pines after Kaneki’s two-sided saber.

Karren von Rosewald – Servants weren’t supposed to have sabers, but Shuu bought her a rose pink one for her birthday one year. She’s loved him ever since.

Matsumae – the family bodyguard possesses a darksaber. It still thrills her every time she lights it.

Mirumo – passed down the indigo saber to Shuu.

Chie Hori – her tiny green saber was so delectable she and Shuu had to be friends.

Clowns

Uta – Darksaber, but with a cracked crystal. He and Yomo used to make a fierce darksaber team. 

Itori – Hers is bright pink but rarely used, unless you’re counting when she gets drunk and waves it about Helter Skelter pretending she’s a Samurai. 

Hoito Roma – She seemed to have an ordinary red saber. Instead she literally has a four-sided saber she uses for utter destruction. 

Nimura Furuta – he started the series by pushing pipes onto Rize so he could steal her lightsaber, but now that Kaneki has inherited it, he hired Kanou to make a duplicate. Someday, though, he will get the real one. 

Rio/Shikorae – is not trusted with one. Probably for the best.

Nico – pink but cracked. 

Donato Porpora – Purple, cracked.

Aogiri Tree

Kirishima Ayato – dark blue, just like Touka. *pouts*

Yamori – Sabers cauterize wounds. That’s boring. 

Tatara – Green – half of a two sided saber. 

Yoshimura Eto – Darth Owl has a fierce purple lightsaber and exceptional skill.

Noro – Darksaber. 

CCG

Amon Koutarou – Blue-white and pure. 

Takizawa Seidou – blue, but he cracked the crystal while insisting he could make his own.

Mado Akira – green. She made her own, nice and neat. 

Houji Kousuke- the second half of Tatara’s green saber is his. This is the root of their enmity. 

Mado Kureo – His fascination with lightsabers has lead him to have a collection of every color, plus every cracked version. He was missing a green one before Akira made hers. 

Marude Itsuki – It used to be yellow. Inspired by Yoshitoki, he also decorated the label. It did not turn out well, but thankfully, Juuzou Suzuya wrecked it. 

Washuu Yoshitoki – yellow. He’s decorated the label. 

Washuu Matsuri – spent half his childhood (literally half) whining for one. Now he has a yellow one and isn’t not as exciting as he hoped. 

Washuu Tsuneyoshi – He wishes it was purple, but alas, his is yellow. 

Kuriowa Takeomi – He got so good at beating ghouls up with his hands his dad was reluctant to hand down their family’s white saber. 

Kuriowa Iwao – He used to have a white saber. Now he has an orange one, because he gave the white one to Takeomi.

Aura Kiyoko – Blue and damn does she use it well.

Tanakamaru Mougan – Pink. He loves the color. 

Shinohara Yukinori – Green, “the color of life,” he used to remind Suzuya.

Hajime Hazuki – white. Someone take it away from him.

Arima Squad

Ihei Hairu – hers is lemon-colored, and she’s nicknamed it “Sunlight.”

Arima Kishou – His is ordinary light blue. But he can beat even the most powerful sabers with his technique. 

Ui Koori – His is green. Sometimes Hairu tells him they’re lemons and limes, and he enjoys this.

Take Hirako – he ordered light blue to match Arima. 

Ihei Shio – Pink. He and Yusa swapped colors. 

Arima Yusa – white. He didn’t care for the color, but Shio really wanted pink.

Souza Rikai – purple, which she’s very proud of. 

Suzuya Squad

Suzuya Juuzou – green and two-sided. He insisted on green to honor Shinohara. 

Keijin Nakarai – Yellow to match his hair.

Hanbee Abara – Darksaber. He feels silly with it.

Miyuki Mikage – Green, like his boss. 

Mizurou Tamaki – Orange

Quinx Squad

Yonebayashi Saiko – light blue, and she enjoys wielding it, because then she gets to pretend she’s someone from Feudal times. 

Shirazu Ginshi – orange, cracked, and he loved it for its imperfections. 

Urie Kuki – purple, but cracked, and the crack is growing bigger.

Mutsuki Tooru – green, and he’s determined to become as skilled as Kaneki. 

Hsaio Ching-Li – dark saber. Beware her skill.

Aura Shinsanpei – his is dark blue, and he’s either way too fierce or too timid with it. There is no middle ground.

Higemaru Touma – pink, and he likes to light it up for no reason other than he enjoys the sound. 

Scenario: Uncle Shio

Coming right up, Nonny-Mouse. I love that kid!

Side note: Shio’s nephew Masanori is featured extensively in @hamliet’s fanfic “The (Mis)Adventures of GOAT.” I’m, er, borrowing her character (with permission) for this! 

“Where is he?” Shio bursts in the door to the hospital room where Hairu and Ui and their child are staying. “My nephew!”

Hirako dashes up behind him, flanked by Rikai and Yusa.

“Can he be our nephew, too?” Rikai asks.

“No! He’s an Ihei!” Shio crosses his arms as he flounces towards the bed. 

“His name is Masanori,” Hairu says with pride. “Masanori Kishou Ui.”

“He has your hair!” Shio takes the bundle so quickly Ui nearly has a panic attack. He rubs the pink fuzz on the baby’s head and giggles. “I’m gonna be the best uncle ever, aren’t I, Hirako?”

“Undoubtedly,” Hirako says, exchanging a smirk with Ui.

“I love him. He’s perfect.” Shio kisses the baby’s nose. It whimpers.

“What does that mean?” Shio asks nervously.

“I don’t know!” Ui looks at Hairu, his face white.

“It means he’s dreaming,” Hairu says with a sleepy smile.

“Hopefully he’s dreaming of the future. When his best Uncle gives him the most fantastic playdate he’ll ever have.” Shio is clearly planning this, years in advance.

“Love you, Masanori.” Shio reluctantly hands the baby back to Hairu. 

He saves his questions for after they leave the hospital. “Hirako, how did Hairu and Ui make a baby?”

Hirako brings his dog into Goat’s headquarters pre-raid. Shio, Rikai, and Yusa must care for it. Bonus if Hajime appears.

image

“Here we go, Mr. Owl.” Hirako tugs on the leash and can’t resist using his high-pitched baby-voice. “I know you don’t like underground, but there are people who need you here.”

Kaneki, meanwhile, is too busy conversing with Tsukiyama to notice their four-legged arrival. But then Shio streaks by screaming “PUPPER!”, and Rikai and Yusa nearly trample the Centipede and the Gourmet.

“The hell?” Tsukiyama straightens up, running a hand through his hair. “Oh – oh my!”

For now the children are being children, cuddling a fluffy Shiba Inu. 

“It’s so cute!” Tsukiyama launches himself at the dog.

“Thank you, Hirako,” sobs Shio. “I love Mr. Owl. He makes me happy.”

“You named your dog Mr. Owl?” Kaneki chokes.

Hirako flushes. “Guilty.”

“It loves me!” Rikai’s face is covered in slobber, and she’s 100% okay with this.

“Look, Shio, it’s Ui!” Yusa pinches the dog’s cheeks like Hairu used to do for Ui.

image

Kaneki bursts out laughing. It’s the first time in a while they’ve had anything to smile about.

In the distance, Hajime peers out his cell door. Is the king laughing

Oh. He’s seen Hirako’s puppy before. 

He used to have one like it.

He misses it.

For a second, he imagines giving up his mission to be loved by this dog. 

Scenario where Ui confesses his feeling to Hairu and her reaction.

*rubs hands together with glee*

Ui closes the door to the copy room. Hairu’s humming at the printer, which seems to be jammed again, but that hasn’t dampened her mood. Hairu’s not commonly annoyed by the little things, and that’s one of the reasons he loves her.

Speaking of love, that’s why he’s here. Alone. With her.

His heart beats fast as she looks up and smiles at him. “Koori!”

——————————————————————————————-

“What are you doing?” Arima Kishou stares at the sight of Hirako Take crouched at the copy room entrance, ear pressed against the closed door. Ihei Shio is giggling, Arima Yusa is trying to shhh him, and Souza Rikai has slid some sort of wire under the door.

Hirako turns bright red.

“Ui’s confessing to Hairu,” hisses Shio. “C’mon.”

And so Arima finds himself engaged in the childhood shenanigans he never had time for, as he presses his ear to the door for snippets of young love. 

——————————————————————————————-

“Hi.” Ui waves. His other arm has a rose behind his back. A pink rose to match her hair.

“Hi.” She waves back. “We’re out of colored ink. It’s so sad!”

“Your hair is colorful enough,” he jokes.

Hairu gasps. “Did you just – just make a joke?”

Ui flushes. “Maybe.”

“You’re so cute, Koori!” She dances over to him and kisses his cheek. 

“H-hairu, I have to tell you something.” His voice is now a squeak. His eyes are glassy and unfocused and he’s quite possibly more terrified than he has been in battle.

Hairu’s eyes grow. “What’s wrong? Koori, you can tell me anything.”

“I – I – I…” He fumbles for the words stuck in his throat. As a last ditch effort, he holds out the rose. 

Hairu pales.

And then an avalanche falls. “I think you’re beautiful and happy and kind and sexy and the world is better for you in it and I love you and I’ve loved you for a long time but been too afraid to say anything -”

Hairu tackles him in a hug. “You’re the cutest thing ever!”

“Huh?” The thorns prick his flesh.

“No!” she gasps, taking the rose. “Bad rose! Don’t hurt Koori!” 

She looks into his eyes, smiling so brightly he really should wear sunglasses.

“I’ve never had someone love me before.” 

“You have, you just didn’t know,” he croaks. His heart pounds. Why isn’t this easier?

“Why aren’t you smiling? I love you, too, silly!” Hairu tugs his lips into a smile. “Are we dating now?”

“Yes, if you’d like to.” Ui’s eyes fill with tears. 

“Yay!” Hairu twirls him around. “This makes fighting the stupid printer worth it!”

“I tell you, it’s worse than a ghoul,” Ui says.

“You made a second joke! I’m so good for you.” Hairu kisses him, because aren’t people supposed to kiss when they’re in love?

Ui nearly falls over, but he hangs on to her – or her lips, really. She tastes like melons and bubblegum, and he can’t get enough.

The door falls open.

Ui shrieks, but Hairu just blushes and keeps on smiling.

“Congratulations,” Hirako says. Shio waves from his position on a cramped pyramid of Yusa and Rikai.

Arima stands behind them and holds his thumb up.

Hairu glows even more.