Every ship you can think of’s child’s name if they’re male or female or have a gender neutral name (but Kyou and Tsukiyama should totally adopt Niji)

Touken – Yotsume, girl

Hidekane – Sunny, boy or girl or neutral 

Shuuneki – Rin, genderqueer 

Akiramon – Kosuke, girl

Seiaki- Kosuke, girl,

Takirona- Nashiro, girl

Nishikimi – Oshin, boy

Irimi/Koma – Fumiko, girl

Yoshimura/Ukina – Eto (oh wait)

Ayahina – Ryouko, girl

UtaRen – Asa, girl

Utatori – Renji, boy

Tsukikana – Rose, girl

Tsukichie – Kanae, neutral

Tsukikyou – Niji. That is all. 

Arieto – Kaneki Ken, boy. 

Uihai – Masanori, boy

Nakimiza – Chihiro, girl

Yoriko/Takeomi – Iwao, boy

Suzuhan – Yukinori, boy

Matsurie – Danuja, girl

Urisai – Hotaru, girl

Mutsurie – Ginshi, boy

Mutsuki/Kaneki – Kishou, boy

Shiraiko -Gintoki, boy

Saiko/Hsaio – Diana of Themyscira, girl

Maruchika – Kazumi, neutral 

Fururize – Hisa, girl

The ships as weird couple stock photos?

Touken – 

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Hidekane – 

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Shuuneki –

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Akiramon – 

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Seiaki-

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Takirona

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Nishikimi –

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Irimi/Koma – 

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Irimi/Take

Yoshimura/Ukina –

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Ayahina –

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UtaRen –

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Utatori –

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Tsukikana –

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Tsukichie –

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Arieto 

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Uihai-

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Nakimiza –

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Yoriko/Takeomi –

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Suzuhan –

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Matsurie –

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Urisai-

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Mutsurie –

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Mutsuki/Kaneki

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Shiraiko –

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Saiko/Hsaio –

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Maruchika – 

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Fururize –

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Higemaru/Hakatori (Higetori)

Okay, who did I miss?

updated to include take/irimi and higetori. 

What songs do each of the tg re pairings (canon or not) remind you of? In my opinion HideKane currently makes me think of Wolves by Selena Gomez and Mutsuki x Kaneki/Sasaki from Mutsuki’s end

Hidekane – Wolves by Selena Gomez 

Touken – Warm Blood, Flor

Shuuneki – All My Heroes, Bleachers

Akiramon – Aquaman, Walk the Moon

Seiaki – Rotten, The Naked and Famous

Mutsurie – Unconditionally, Katy Perry

Mutsuki/Sasaki – We Sink, Chvrches

Urisai – Hold Back the River, James Bay

Saiko/Hsaio – Boom Clap, Charlie XCX

Shiraiko – Gone Gone Gone, Phillip Phillips

Tsukikana – XO, Beyonce 

Tsukichie – Young Blood, The Naked and Famous

Utaren – Wallflowers, The Chain Gang of 1984

Utatori – Look What You Made Me Do, Taylor Swift

Suzuhan – Let’s Hurt Tonight, OneRepublic

Maruchika – Walking the Wire, Imagine Dragons

Nishikimi – Gravity, Jai Wolf

Takirona – Something Just Like This, The Chainsmokers

Fururize – Bad Blood, Taylor Swift 

Uihai – Shut Up and Dance, Walk the Moon 

Arieto – F**K with You, Cardiknox

Ayahina – Beating Heart, Ellie Goulding 

Yoshimura/Ukina – The Energy Never Dies, The Script

Nakimiza – The Cure, Lady Gage

I think we need Ui and Hairu playing monopoly against Arima and Eto. I’d love to see a really competitive Arima and Ui and the girls are literally just sitting there.

Yassssss.

“The God of Death might just go down,” Eto murmurs, watching Arima grow paler and paler.

He’s fine during combat. But board games? His nerves takes it very personally.

“Arima, no! Don’t give up!” cries Hairu.

“Why are you rooting for him?” salts Ui. His knuckles are white. I will…defeat…I will take Marvin Gardens before him. I must. 

“I’m rooting for you both.” Hairu scoffs.

“Ha!” Arima laughs with glee as Ui draws Go to Jail. 

“Okay, but which jail?” Hairu asks.

“Definitely Cochlea.” Eto grins. “SSS rate cells.”

“Fuck all of you.” 

“Language,” Arima mutters, carefully constructing his next five moves in his brain.

“I’VE BEEN PUT IN JAIL.” Ui whimpers. “Hairu, I don’t deserve it.”

“You don’t,” Hairu agrees.

“You do,” says Eto.

 “I will not fail,” Arima mutters.

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But after two more hours, Eto is bored. Hairu is bored. Their husbands, less so.

So Eto swoops her hands down onto the board and knocks the pieces off.

“Eto!” screams Ui.

“Why?” Arima gasps.

“I’m the One-Eyed Owl, fucking shit up.” Eto grins. “We’ll call it a draw. Enough pride for you two?”

Arima and Ui tentatively nod.

“Oh thank god,” says Hairu. 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) can I have each pairing that you can think of’s favourite sex position?

Okay, who did I miss. 😛

Touken – spooning

Hidekane – missionary

Shuuneki – wall sex

Nishikimi – cowgirl

Irimi/Koma – Doggy style. I had to.

Ayahina – Butterfly. I’m sorry.

Utaren – wall sex

Akiramon – missionary

Seiaki – up and over

Takirona – cowgirl 

Suzuhan – cowboy

Tsukikana – using their kagunes so they’re both upside down

Tsukichie – sit and straddle

Mutsurie – missionary

Urisai – spoons

Shiraiko – doggy style

Saiko//Hsaio – 69

Uihai – missionary

Arieto – whatever wacky idea Eto has next.

Maruchika – wall sex

Furutui – standing

Furuta/Rize – varies but he’s on bottom. 

Takeomi/Yoriko – missionary

Eto takes Arima with her, lingerie shopping!

“Kishou, pay attention.” Eto removes her hands from Arima’s eyes and slips out of the piggy-back ride. 

“What are these?” Arima goggles at the…

“Bras!” Eto holds up one. “We have dominatrix black spikes, sweet princess pink, a rainbow clown…What would you like?”

“Whatever you want.” Arima’s cheeks burn.

“No. I want to know what turns you on the most.” Eto frowns. “Otherwise i’ll have to buy them all, you know. One by one, we’ll test them out until I discover your Achilles’ heel.”

“Eto, no,” Arima protests. He sees the light in her eyes. 

“Hmm. That’s not a bad idea.” Eto points to a garter belt. “Would you like me to wear one? I think I want to.”

She prances to another aisle. “Kishou, what if we get matching corsets?”

“You’ll never get me into one,” he says.

“Not even if I dress up in this?” Eto holds up a green negligee so scanty Arima gasps.

You better believe he wore the corset that night. And that he had his own special closet for every unmentionable Eto purchased that day. 

Arieto/Cinderella

Anonymous asked: After that Mulan-Mutsurie mashup, I dare you to write Disney-film mashups for: Ayahina, Touken, Takirona, Akiramon, Uihai, Nishikimi, Tsukikana, Arieto, and Shiraiko. Ty and good night.

I’ll be posting these once a day (probably) until the list is done!

Mutsurie/Mulan: here.

Ayahina/Sleeping Beauty: here.

Uihai/Tangled: here.

Akiramon/The Hunchback of Notre Dame: here.

Tskukikana/The Little Mermaid: here.

Nishikimi/Snow White: here.

Takirona/Frozen: here.

Shiraiko/Beauty and the Beast: here.

“Kishou, what are you doing?” Tsuneyoshi’s voice drips disapproval.

“I’m coming, too.” Arima approached the squad of special investigators. He lowers his eyes in respect. “You’ll need someone able to scope out the kids in the room. We can’t assume the owl is an adult, sir.” 

“No, I don’t think you are.” Tsuneyoshi scoffs. “You’re not even dressed properly. You may be a prodigy, but the owl is not made for kids. Besides, Yoshitoki will join us.”

Yoshitoki, while happy to be attending the elite ball, is disquieted by his brother’s worry. Arima is the best young investigator they have, and everyone knows it.

But Tsuneyoshi only sees him as a means to an end – exterminating their own kind. Tsuneyoshi sweeps out the doors, and Yoshitoki reluctantly follow. 

“Why did you insist on going?” Mado Kureo and his fiancee Kasuka appear behind him. 

Arima shrugs. He can’t explain the feeling that he’s needed.

“Intuition?” Kasuka winks at Kureo. 

“You should always follow intuition.” Kureo winks. “Hasn’t led me wrong yet.”

“I…”

“Here. Kureo just bought a tuxedo for our wedding. He’ll lend it to you.” Kosaka grabs Arima’s arm. “Just make sure Tsuneyoshi doesn’t see you until you’ve captured the Owl.”

————————————————

Eto Yoshimura is bored. If those Washuus think they’re subtle, they’re stupid enough that CCG might self-destruct before she can really act against them.  

But she’s been kept busy, dancing with partner after partner. Some, like the young Washuu, are sweet. Some are dirty old men. No one suspects a tiny teenage girl of being the One-Eyed Owl.

Movement in the corner of the room catches her eye. A tall young man enters, dressed impeccably in a glossy black tuxedo. His dark blue hair flows loose to his shoulders, and he’s even wearing glasses. As someone nearsighted herself, Eto immediately likes him.

She sashays over. “Hi, stranger. You’re my dance partner.”

He’s surprisingly adept. “I’m Eto. And you are?”

“Arima Kishou.” He blushes when he tips her back, because he’s never been his close to cleavage before. 

“Oh, are you?” Eto teases. This is gonna be fun. Noro will kill her, but oh well. “You’re a celebrity!” 

She cocks her head. “I’ll let you in on a secret. I am, too!”

“Are you?” The music starts again, but neither change partners. Something about Eto feels perfect and natural. 

“Have you read Sen Takatsuki?”

“No, though I’ve seen Dear Kafka in all the bookstores.”

“I’m offended. Read it. I’m Sen.” Eto gasps. “Come with me! I have a copy with my coat. I’ll give it to you, free!”

She scribbles Dear Kishou on the inside of the cover before handing him the book. “Enjoy it. Do tell me what you think?”

“I’d love to.” Arima’s heart pounds. He should be focusing on the Owl, but Eto – what if his intuition just knew he would meet Eto, and that was enough?

“I’d love you.” Eto has to jump to plant a kiss on his cheek.

“Come along, Yoshitoki.”

Arima starts. The Washuus are about to enter the coatroom. “I have to go.”

“Wait, why?” Eto’s eyes narrow. “Wait!” She chases after them, shoving Tsuneyoshi into the wall. As the mysterious Arima clatters down the stairs, his book drops.

“Oh!” Arima turns around, but he sees the Washuus exiting, and takes off running instead.

Eto snatches the book off the ground. So this kid is a Washuu, too. What a shame. She actually liked him. 

——————————————-

Two months later, Arima finds himself facing the Owl. All other investigators are dead or ding around him, but he will not lose. He gave up Eto for this investigation, and it’s silly he thinks of her still, but he does.

He knocks it sideways and hears a familiar laugh.

The kakuja tosses something into his face. 

Dear Kafka opens to Dear Kishou

Arima chokes. She – she can’t – 

Eto Yoshimura emerges from the kakuja. “Now we know all each other’s secrets.”

“You’re so young,” whispers Arima. He doesn’t want to kill Eto. “Why are you doing this?” 

He’s clutching her book. This is a good sign. Eto smiles, “Tell me your apartment address and you’ll find out.”

She leaves him with a kiss – on his lips this time.

TG Ships as Disney Love Songs

Touken: I See the Light 

Ayahina: Beauty and the Beast 

Mutsurie: Fixer-Upper 

Nishikimi: You’ll Be In My Heart 

Akiramon: Kiss the Girl 

Tsukikana: A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes 

Takirona: Can You Feel the Love Tonight

Arieto: If I Never Knew You 

Shiraiko: So Close 

Nakimiza: Something There 

Saiko/Hsiao: Love Is An Open Door 

Suzuhan: Never Knew I Needed 

Uihai: I’m Wishing 

Utaren: He’s a Tramp 

 (also brought to you by @trashyhumanespresso & @hamliet)

TG Ships as Cat Gifs

Submitted by a lovely Nonny-Mouse!

Ayahina

https://andthensuddenlycats.tumblr.com/post/159985082926

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Saiko/Hsiao:

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http://imthehuman.tumblr.com/post/164052387562/with-every-post-a-smile-%D8%AA

Touken

http://zevzekadam.com/post/157743216523/uzun-s%C3%BCredir-g%C3%B6rmedi%C4%9Fim-kankime-yav%C5%9Fayarak

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Uta/Yomo

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Mutsurie:
https://szlagusprincess.tumblr.com/post/144944948064

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Arieto:

https://giphy.com/gifs/hugs-cats-gif-attack-hug-cCEi1s7NNpFio

Suzuhan:

http://omglostinlife.tumblr.com/post/116813672559

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Nishikimi
http://positivegrunge.tumblr.com/post/139336704734/i-cuddled-someone-today-and-it-was-nice

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Shiraiko:

http://come-home.tumblr.com/post/111337006153

Uihai

https://pefine.tumblr.com/post/126340812118

Akiramon
https://giphy.com/gifs/cheezburger-cat-kisses-zIP41zE5V5Sog

Takirona
https://mako0mako0.tumblr.com/post/161576694232/you-need-a-hug

Tsukikana
http://thenotsoperfectbarbiedoll.tumblr.com/post/111874015646/high-fives-gone-terribly-wrong

Maruchika:

https://giphy.com/gifs/things-backrubs-c9IhvdUkamYtq

Furuta/Self:
http://cuteness-overload.com/post/163593288634/this-kitty-hugging-her-tail-while-sleeping

Arieto. Just… Arieto.

You’ve brought this upon yourself.

“If we’re only talking exterminations, we’ve got good results.” Tsuneyoshi Washuu glowers at the two men before him. “But we failed to capture the crucial owl.”

Arima stands beside his half-brother, before their father, silent and diligent as always.

It’s Yoshitoki, the kind one who once protested why his brother was kept in a garden and not in their house with him, the one Arima can’t trust now, who speaks. “We are deeply sorry, sir.”

The owl’s laughing eyes stare up at Arima. He has her pressed into his bed not even a week ago. Morning light filters around them. She’s free and dangerous and unique, and kissing him with a ferocity unmatched in even her fighting – which he also knows is pretty damn ferocious. 

Tsuneyoshi’s expression remains stern. His displeasure oozes from him. “We must defeat Aogiri’s One-Eyed Owl – no, the One-Eyed King -”

Arima feels completely alone. 

“King and Owl, we are,” she once sang into his ear, and he pushed her away, and she pouted and told him this was why he’d never been with anyone. 

She’d caught him in a particularly low point, and then she realized his insecurities. 

“Aw, I’m sorry. I can show you,” she suggested, and he felt more frightened than he’d ever been, but he found himself nodding.

Yoshitoki was supposed to breed. Arima was a failure and good for death. But Eto taught him that lovemaking could be just that – love – and that ideals meant more than familial duty.

“Whether or not it’s worth it will depend on your actions. Kishou, you have ownership rights.” Tsuneyoshi nods.

Arima always feels a little sad when Tsuneyoshi calls him Kishou. It’s a familiarity that feels like disrespect, because Tsuneyoshi doesn’t know him and never will.

Eto knows a thing or two about parental conflict. Not that she’s dealt with hers well, to Arima’s mind, but at least she sympathizes.

Arima bows to his father. Ownership rights were Eto’s idea. She already calls Kaneki their child, and she has the perfect new name for him – Haise Sasaki. 

It’s the name she told him she would have picked for a kid if they lived in a world where they could marry and live happily ever after, like “a fucking fairy tale.” 

She’s profane and childlike, and he loves her. They’re the One-Eyed King and the One-Eyed Owl, and like Eto reminds him, “Put together we’re a full set of eyes.”