Haruhi Fujioka – Eto Yoshimura
Tamaki Suoh – Ihei Shio
Kyoya Ootori – Arima Kishou
Hikaru Hitachiin – Nico
Kaoru Hitachiin – Uta
Honey Haninozuka – Suzuya Juuzou
Mori Marinozuka – Amon Koutarou
myths, magic, and fandoms
Haruhi Fujioka – Eto Yoshimura
Tamaki Suoh – Ihei Shio
Kyoya Ootori – Arima Kishou
Hikaru Hitachiin – Nico
Kaoru Hitachiin – Uta
Honey Haninozuka – Suzuya Juuzou
Mori Marinozuka – Amon Koutarou
YAS AKIRAMON YAAAAAAAAS.
“Say Daddy,” Akira encourages Kasuka. Their daughter grips her finger and totters towards Amon. “Get ready, Koutarou.”
He crouches on the ground, ready to catch her. She tumbles into his strong hands, giggling. “Koutarou!”
He gasps.
“She said your name!” Akira would have assumed Daddy was easier. Kasuka is smart, and she’s a proud Mama.
“I’m flattered,” Amon says, hugging Kasuka. “Yes, Daddy is Koutarou.”
“Koutarou!” She cheers.
After they put her to bed for the evening, Amon allows himself angst. “But what if she never calls me Daddy?”
“Is that a problem?” Akira cocks an eyebrow.
“Yes! I want to be her Daddy! I want her to call me Daddy witht he same affection you used for Mado.” Amon rubs his forehead. “Please.”
Akira has to laugh. “Oh my.”
“I know, it’s not logical, but I want it.” He clenches his fists.
“We’ll work on teaching her Daddy,” Akira assures him. She plants a kiss on his cheek. “I love your illogical side.”
Touka sips the terrible decaf coffee Hide brewed just for her. “Man, I always heard about people hating their in laws but this just takes the cake, you know?”
“You can eat cake?” Saiko asks.
“In laws? You mean, you really are married?” Takizawa laughs. “Holy shit!”
“Does that make you my mother?” gasps Higemaru. “Because I am down with that. She’s a badass.”
“I hate her! I hate her! She’s not our mother!” cries Mutsuki. “She – she stole Sensei away! That slut!”
Ayato rises, but Hinami yanks him back.
“Touka is actually pretty cool for the rabbit who killed my dad,” Akira says, tossing her a wry smile. Akira keeps her hands massaging Mutsuki’s shoulders.
Aura spits out his coffee. “She what?”
“Say it, don’t spray it,” says Nishiki with a glare.
“Oh come off it, we’re all killers here.” Kurona primly lifts her mug.
“Mutsuki, Kaneki left you because he couldn’t face himself,” Tsukiyama says quietly. “He’s never been good at that. Not that I have either. He craves a family but fears the hurt that comes with love. It was his failing, not yours. Not Touka’s.” He smiles slightly. “He told me the list of people he cared about once. Believe me, you Quinx were included.”
Mutsuki sniffles. “Really?”
But I am awful. I kill families. But Akira is rubbing his back, and Urie has approached him, and Saiko looks at him with kindness he doesn’t deserve. Did he leave the Quinx home, too?
“Really.” Tsukiyama nods.
Mutsuki lets out a little sob, and that does it. Saiko springs up and embraces him. Even Touka has to smile.
“Wait, wait, wait!” Ayato stands up. “Touka! Does that mean you really are – the rumors – the decaf -”
He turns purple. “I CAN’T HELP HIM!”
“Sit down and shut up,” Yomo mumbles.
Ayato sits.
“Ar you sure this is a good idea?” Urie mutters.
“I think it’s fantastic.” Saiko beams at Touka, who feels a strange fondness for this other blue-haired girl.
“I think it’s necessary,” mutters Serpent. Nishiki, he calls himself.
The Gourmet giggles besides a goateed ghoul who calls himself Banjou. A short woman, Three Blades’ Miza, swats Tsukiyama on his shoulder. Higemaru looks at Akira and Amon with wonder, his heroes finally within reach. Hsaio and Hakatori exchange tentative smiles. Yomo Renji, still dazed, leans on Fueguchi HInami and former Aogiri executive Kirishima Ayato for support. Takizawa Seidou, Yasuhisa Kurona, and Urie sulk in their own respective corners.
And Hide is charged with controlling these crazy messes.
“Hi,” he croaks out, for once understanding Kaneki’s shyness.
The door bangs open. “We came as quick as we could!”
Aura Shinsanpei hurries in, Mutsuki Tooru behind him.
Yomo groans. Not again.
Mutsuki stares at Touka, who refuses to budge from her position besides Hide, at the head of the table. She won’t give him the satisfaction.
“Is this mockery of CCG? And everything we stand for?” Aura clenches his fist.
“So good of you to finally join us,” Touka says stiffly.
Mutsuki’s mouth opens and shuts without a word. He wanted to help Sensei. He came to help Sensei, not to see her. “She isn’t helping Sensei!”
He’s jealous of her. Urie tries to push the thought from his mind. No, Mutsuki can’t be.
“Mucchy, why would you say that? They’re married!” Saiko claps her hands.
“I’ll beat your asses again,” Miza warns them.
“You did this! You made sensei into this!” screams Mutsuki.
“Furuta did, which means technically, your CCG did, on the bodies of a hundred little kids,” Akira snaps.
He looks hurt.
“Look, this isn’t easy for me either, considering you razed my family,” says Tsukiyama. “But we all love Kaneki, and we all have to work together if we want to save him.”
“She took him,” whimpers Mutsuki, tears in his eyes.
Akira frowns. Mutsuki isn’t well. Maybe – maybe he didn’t turn on her as easily as she thought.
“Mutsuki, this isn’t like you,” she says. Amon tightens his grip on her arm.
“Pah,” says Seidou.
“Helpful,” Kurona shoots at him. He rolls his eyes.
“Mutsuki?” Akira stands and approaches him again.
Urie’s hands sweat. He should be the one comforting Mutsuki. Asking the hard questions.
But because he’s Urie Yuki, he can’t do it in that order. “What the hell is going on?!”
Kaneki Ken – boobs. They’re so squishy.
Nagachika Hideyoshi – like his BFF, he also prefers boobs.
Nishiki Nishio – ass, probably
Tsukiyama Shuu – ass. He does envy boobs, however.
Koma Enji – all about them legs
Yoshimura Kuzen – He’d probably be more innocent, like a “smile man.”
Yomo Renji – ass, but ashamed of it.
Uta – ass and totally proud of it.
Tatara – strong legs to kick the enemy.
Kirishima Ayato – boobs, but they also make him laugh so…
Noro – boobs kinda fascinate him
Yamori – he’ll beat your ass
Naki – shapely legs are delicious in many ways.
Mado Kureo – legs. They’re useful.
Amon Koutarou – boobs. They’re cute.
Takizawa Seidou – ass. It’s sexy, unlike how he views himself.
Urie Kuki – strong legs. make yourself useful.
Mutsuki Tooru – finely sculpted legs.
Shirazu Ginshi – boooobs
Higemaru Touma – quite an ass fan.
Aura Shinsanpei – boobs but like…he’s resigned himself to never seeing them in person.
Washuu Matsuri – Urie’s ass
Washuu Yoshitoki – rather fond of boobs himself
Arima Kishou – boobs both fluster and excite him
Ui Koori – boobs. How do girls move with them? Why are they so pretty?
Take Hirako – legs are beautiful.
Itou Kuramoto – asses are attractive. if you have it, might as well flaunt it.
Suzuya Juuzou – he likes how smooth legs are.
Hanbee Abara – boobs, but they also intimidate him
Mizurou Tamaki – ass
Miyuki Mikage – legs, legs tall enough to reach his height
Keijin Nakarai – ass and boobs. he chooses both.
Kuriowa Takeomi – asses fascinate him
Kuriowa Iwao – his wife’s boobs
Shinohara Yukinori – all about those long legs.
Mougan Tanakamaru – he appreciates a finely sculpted ass. His own, specifically.
Furuta Nimura – Boobs. Rize’s boobs. His own lack of boobs. Boobs.
“Seidou, it’s Akira’s birthday tomorrow,” Amon says nervously. He can’t believe he almost forgot. He’s such an idiot! He deserves all the glares Maris Stella gives him.
Seidou’s face is expressionless. “Yes, I know.”
“Do you have plans?” Amon demands. Seidou, of course Seidou remembers.
“I have dinner reservations for all of us,” Seidou admits.
“Good!” Amon bites his lip. He needs help, now. “Uh – what do I do?”
“Buy her lingerie for after dinner.”
“Seidou!” Amon’s cheeks feel like they’re being scalded.
“You know Akira loves that stuff. And you have better fashion sense than me.” Seidou rolls his eyes.
“I mean, yeah, but…” Amon stutters.
“Sex is still scary for you?” Seidou teases, taking him by the hand. “Come on, husband. I shall show you how to buy a proper lingerie set.”
——————————————————
“Okay, this is adorable.” Akira lifts out a pink lacy set that immediately sends Amon’s heart racing and Seidou into giggles.
“From Amon,” she reads. “I see. In case you forgot, I know you both. This has Seidou written all over it.”
“I’m a bad husband,” Amon says.
“Nah.” Akira grins. She stands and heads for the bathroom. “You’re both fantastic. But…you can be my naughty husbands for a bit.”
Let me know if you want any others! These were the first I thought of. 🙂
Kaneki Ken – fetal position
Kirishima Touka – knees bent
Fueguchi Hinami – cuddling her pillow
Kirishima Ayato – whatever looks the least comfortable so he can brag about it later. He’s tried standing more than once
Tsukiyama Shuu – arms spread out
Kanae Von Rosewald – falls asleep on her knees praying for Master Shuu
Yomo Renji – on his side
Uta – arms above his head
Amon Koutarou – on his back
Akira Mado – on her back, a pillow under her knees to support her muscles
Takizawa Seidou – fetal position
Mutsuki Tooru – curled into a ball
Urie Kuki – stick-straight, on his back
Yonebayashi Saiko – on her stomach
Higemaru Touma – snow-angel pose
Aura Shinsanpei – crushed against the wall
Hsaio Ching-Li – she’s not fond of pillows
Shirazu Ginshi – on his back
Ui Koori – on his stomach
Hairu Ihei – drowning in a sea of pink pillows
Arima Kishou – knees bent
Yoshimura Eto – constantly tossing and turning, so really ALL THE POSITIONS
Suzuya Juuzou – fetal position
Kaneki Ken – “They’re so squishy.” (canon)
Nagachika Hideyoshi – CAN I HOLD THEM
Nishiki Nishio – spills coffee on himself
Koma Enji – eyebrow wiggle
Tsukiyama Shuu – Why can’t boys have something so fabulous
Urie Kuki – I wonder how they’d look on Mutsuki
Shirazu Ginshi – giggles uncontrollably
Higemaru Touma – spends the next day drawing large-breasted monsters
Aura Shinsanpei – crawls into corner
Amon Koutarou – prays
Takizawa Seidou – squeals with glee
Suzuya Juuzou – huh? those look heavy
Hanbee Abara – faints
Miyuki Mikage – I wonder if aliens have boobs
Keijin Nakarai – I’ve just met my future wife
Mizurou Tamaki – closes himself in his room for the rest of the day
Shinohara Yukinori – it was his wedding night with his wife. He was very gentle and she was rather fierce and it was beautiful.
Tatara – *draws Houji with boobs, mails it to him*
Houji – what the fuck Tatara – oh my, these look rather nice
Naki – screams
Yamori – do they hurt if you cut them
Ayato Kirishima – Ayato.exe has stopped working
Yomo Renji – stops breathing
Uta – thinks of them as interesting art/places for tattoos
Arima Kishou – speechless, but a small smile grows on his lips
Nimura Furuta – hello, I’m the bureau director. i like your boobs; can I dominate you?
Kuriowa Takeomi – “Y- Yoriko – you’re – like – beautiful – and – ah – so many feelings!”
Kuriowa Iwao – That’s nice.
Ui Koori – blubbering, red-cheeked mess
Hirako Take – am I supposed to be seeing this?
Washuu Yoshitoki – dazzled
Marude Itsuki – clears throat, smooths hair. Hi there.
Tanakamaru Mougan – Higheerrrrrrrrrrrrr boobs!
Rio – Poke
Kaneki Ken – A trailer for the latest thriller novel from Takatsuki Sen.
Nagachika Hideyoshi – Come to Hawaii, where it’s sunny all the time!
Nishiki Nishio – The latest pharmaceutical. “If you feel like eating human flesh, talk to your doctor. Nishikimiazole may be right for you.”
Koma Enji – An infomercial on how to make the Devil Ape’s Best Coffee.
Tsukiyama Shuu – L’Oreal, because he’s worth it.
Urie Kuki – Advertising firm for career building.
Mutsuki Tooru – Mental health awareness.
Shirazu Ginshi – He and Haru star in a new ad for a research study on for Rc cell over-secretion.
Higemaru Touma – Firefighter appreciation.
Aura Shinsanpei – A trailer for the latest melodrama.
Amon Koutarou – Dunkin’ Donuts
Takizawa Seidou – Antidepressant medication.
Suzuya Juuzou – Skittles commercial.
Hanbee Abara – Social anxiety medication.
Miyuki Mikage – Science museum ad.
Keijin Nakarai – Can you hear me now? Smartphone service.
Mizurou Tamaki – The best beef steak in Tokyo!
Shinohara Yukinori – Be a mentor or child sponsorship.
Tatara – Spy thriller movie.
Naki – Rent your best white suit ever.
Yamori – Creepy ad for an undefined “research study.” Pulled after 1 air.
Ayato Kirishima – Axe Body Spray.
Yomo Renji – Visit Re Cafe!
Uta – Tattoo shop.
Arima Kishou – Glaucoma PSA.
Nimura Furuta – Maybe it’s Maybelline! Or maybe it’s ghoul regeneration!
Kuriowa Takeomi – Lumberjacking, or eyebrow styling.
Kuriowa Iwao – Sports ad.
Ui Koori – NicoDerm.
Hirako Take – Sad, abused animal PSA set to moving music.
Ihei Shio – the best ice cream in Tokyo.
Yusa Arima – martial arts studio.
Mayazumi – eyebrow styling.
Hajime Hazuki – PTSD medication.
Washuu Matsuri – A dating app.
Washuu Yoshitoki – Hiking!
Marude Itsuki – the next gun show.
Tanakamaru Mougan – Hairspray.
“Juuzou, you can’t eat candy in class.” Reaperneki raps on Suuzya’s desk.
Suzuya stares up at him with horror. The lollipop remains in his mouth. “But why?”
“Because it’s disruptive.”
“Not if you do it the right way.” Saiko pops a chocolate square into her mouth. “Just be quick about it, Suzuya.”
“Yonebayashi, do you want to go to the principle’s office?”
She thinks for a moment. “Principle Eto does have a nice couch.”
“Can I go to the principle’s office?” Urie raises his hand. “I’m tired of all your faces.”
Mutsuki frowns.
“Not yours,” Urie assures him.
“Awwwwww,” Shirazu teases.
“All of you: SILENCE!” Reaperneki shouts. “Now, Amon, tell me your initial thoughts on Egg of the Black Goat.”
Amon looks up, guilt plastered over his face like the donut crumbs on his lips.
“Are you fucking kidding me,” growls Reaperneki.
“I got him the donut; it’s my fault.” Akira rolls her eyes. “You know, it’s not the food that makes us inefficient; it’s you.”
Reaperneki seethes. “Aura?”
“I was too busy visiting my sick aunt to do the reading,” he replies sweetly.
Higemaru raises his hand. “I loved it!”
“I found the wording fascinating,” Hsaio adds.
“I couldn’t be bothered to read it.” Ayato yawns.
“Feet off your desk, Kirishima.”
“Which one?” Ayato grins as Hinami gently pushes his feet back to the floor.
“Teacher, you’re kinda weak at teaching literature,” Touka comments.
“You’re weak at literature,” Reaperneki counters.
“You’re weak, period,” she shoots back.
Takizawa passes a note to Kurona.
“Really? At this point, you could just talk,” says Reaperneki.
“Can I talk about how attractive you are, Teach?” whimpers Tsukiyama.
“THAT’S IT! ALL OF YOU! I AM ESCORTING ALL OF YOUR SORRY ASSES TO THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE!” Reaperneki roars.
When they arrive, Eto blinks. “You got the entire class here? I’m so impressed.”
Reaperneki growls.