Hanbee has a niece, his brother’s 4 year old daughter called Misaki, and one day his brother and his wife can’t find a babysitter so the Suzuya squad offer to take care of Misaki for the weekend. What happens?

“Does Misaki like candy?” Suzuya looks at his pockets, which he has stuffed with Skittles, M&M’s, and chocolate.

Hanbee pales on his way to answer their door. “My brother is super-strict on sugar.”

“So the answer is yes,” Mizurou says.

Keijin opens the door.

“Hiiiiiiiiii!” Misaki races in, giggling. “I memorized all your names! Suzuya! Mikage! Mizurou! Keijin! Uncle Hanbeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

Keijin looks ill already as Hanbee’s brother and his wife hand over instructions.

“No sugar,” they emphasize before leaving.

Suzuya looks horrified, but he doesn’t want to interfere with her upbringing. So he tries to shove his jacket in the hall closet.

“Is that candy?” Misaki’s eyes focus, like lasers, on his pockets.

“Yes, but -”

Suzuya has to dive out of the way as Misaki barrels towards him. “Please! Please! Uncle Hanbee!”

Hanbee sighs as Suzuya climbs onto the furniture, away from this four-year-old human monster. “We’re screwed.”

“Give it,” Mikage says.

Suzuya sighs with relief and dumps the candy onto the child’s head. It rains down upon her like amazing rain.

“I love you!” she cheers, mouth full of sugar. “Can I see your quinques?”

“Hell no,” Keijin exclaims.

“You swore.”

Hanbee whimpers. She’ll tell her parents, won’t she? “Uh, sure.”

“Yessssss!” Misaki claps her hands innocently.

“Here’s Beef.” Mizurou opens his briefcase.

“Eek! I want one.”

“No,” Hanbee declares.

“Fine.” She pouts. She’s immediately distracted by the sea of candy surrounding her. “Can we make a piñata with all this candy?”

“Yes!” cheers Mikage.

“Good idea,” Suzuya adds.

Paper-mache. Hanbee winces, but he has to admit, he kinda wants to do this too.

When Misaki’s parents return two days later, they find the Suzuya Squad’s living room coated in plaster and dyes, and candy wrappings in Misaki’s hair.

Who are your favorite characters

ALL OF THEM.

Okay, tbh, I have a five-way tie for favorite: Furuta, Kanae, Mutsuki, Yomo, and Suzuya.

Low-key faves: Higemaru, Yoshitoki, Kaneki, Touka, Rio, Rize.

Anon that asked about touken telling off ayahina bc they had sex and Hinami’s retort etc – this would be after Touka revealed her pregnancy

Who are Nico’s favourite James Bond Actors? (tbh I think she has a thing for Sean Connery)

I agree. She loves Sean Connery. He’s a classic and she has a thing for classic macho men.

She also kinda likes Daniel Craig. His Bond is more tragic, and tends to draw her.

Both Kaneki and Touka try to tell off Ayato and Hinami for having sex angrily but then Hinami’s retort is “at least we //used// a condom!” write it however, I just need this :)

Ayato stumbles out of his room, still in his pajamas, late for another GOAT meeting.

“Oops!” Hinami clamors out after him, wearing a nightgown.

Tsukiyama shrieks. “Tres bien, little HInami!”

“What’s all this?” Kaneki enters the hallway and promptly faints.

When he awakens, Ayato and HInami stand awkwardly to one side, while Touka cradles his head and shoots dagger eyes at Ayato.

“I can’t fucking believe you,” Touka hisses.

“Romance is good!” Tsukiyama cheers.

“Shut up, you.” Touka turns back to Ayato. “Hina’s a child!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, I am not, Onee-chan.” Hinami stomps her foot. “Stop thinking of me that way. I like Ayato and I’m proud to have made love to him.”

Kaneki gurgles. Tsukiyama squeals. And Touka tries not to vomit.

“You know,” Ayato says slyly, taking Hinami’s hand. “At least we used a condom.”

Kaneki pales. Okay, okay, they’ve been bested. Touka narrows her eyes.

“I gave them a proper talk,” Tsukiyama adds unhelpfully. “So I wouldn’t expect any nieces or nephews soon.”

Ayato leans over to kiss Hinami.

“Kaneki, we failed to lead by example,” Touka whispers.

“Touka, I’m scared,” he whispers back.

nico headcanons ;)

– Nico loves showering her S.O, with praise. All day and all night. 😉

– She loves trying on all her outfits before her partner. It takes at least 3 hours.

– Nico once had a hard conversation with Itori and Roma on why she needs to stop focusing on men who hurt her. Because “Yamori did not deserve you,” as Itori puts it.

– Nico knew her S.O. was the One when she felt shy around them. She almost never feels shy.

– Nico loves crazy action movies wth sexy actors. She’s particularly fond of James Bond.

– Nico has a soft spot for cats. She feeds them human meat outside her apartment.

– Nico has a remarkably high blood alcohol tolerance. She once bested Yamori in a drinking contest, and frequently bests Itori.

– She has one tattoo, on her hip. She made Uta draw a heart.

A scenario where Arata comes back and Yomo tells Touka and Ayato he’s their uncle

ANGST OF GLORY

Touka drops her plate. Yomo enters her new cafe, Dragon, with someone leaning on his shoulder.

Everyone’s been out raiding the CCG tanks, while she sits here on bloated ankled with a bloated stomach. Eto and Yoshimura she’s heard were discovered, and she can’t wait to see Yoshimura and punch Eto.

But the man leaning against Yomo, the thin man with her blue hair and Ayato’s eyes.

Yomo sees the confusion on her face.

“What’s all this? Dropping a plate?: Ayato saunters in, Hinami by his side.

“Oh hell no!” He screams, and flees upstairs.

“Hina.” Touka manages.

“On it.” Hinami thunders after Ayato. “Don’t make Yotsume angry!”

“Dad?” Touka whispers.

Arata’s eyes focus on his daughter. His very pregnant daughter.

Kaneki enters the room, dragging Ayato by his feet while Hinami takes his hands.

“That’s your son-in-law.” Yomo points to Kaneki, who pales.

He’s been outed way too soon. Damn you, Yomo.

Touka approaches hesitantly.

“I – I’m sorry,” Arata says. All these years he’s been gone. And now –

Touka is afraid to hug him. Bu she remembers Akira, and what Akira wouldn’t give for this chance.

So she does. Arata gasps with happiness he knows he doesn’t deserve.

“This is Ayato and your future-daughter-in-law,” Yomo narrates.

Ayato and Hinami turn red. But then Hinami shoves him forward, and he starts sobbing into Arata’s shoulders.

“Thank you, Yomo. For taking care of them,” Arata says.

“I didn’t much. That was Yoshimura,” Yomo admits.

“You knew each other?” Hinami’s eyes are wide.

“He’s Hikari’s brother,” Arata says gently.

“Wait what.” Touka steps back to stare at Yomo.

Ayato kicks him in the shins.

“I was too afraid of failure to tell you,” Yomo admits.

“And here I thought I was the one afraid of failure,” Kaneki says.

“Hey, you’re lucky I didn’t beat the shit out of you, kid,” Yomo snaps.

Arata is amazed. Someone, these people made a family without even considering bloodlines.

He loves them all. He hopes they forgive him.

He touches Touka’s belly. “Boy or girl?”

“Twins,” she replies with a straight face.

Arata collapses as Touka shrieks. “I was kidding! Kidding!”

After rushima Mutsuki is worried he might be pregnant and turns to urie for help and comfort

Please be advised that this contains references to Mutsuki’s sexual assault, and his self-imposed victim-blaming. 😦

Mutsuki hasn’t bled this month.

He paces his room in the Chateau. No, he needs to escape this – everyone’s going to know he’s a girl. Everyone will grab him and use him, over and over and over.

He can’t have Torso’s kid.

He hasn’t been eating properly, either. What if it’s because he’s incubating a fucking ghoul baby?

Mutsuki doubles over to release a silent scream.

One thing will settle this, but he can’t – he’s a male. He can’t walk into a store to buy a test. He just can’t.

He sits at his laptop, printing out advice on homemade test after homemade test. Maybe not as reliable, but right now he doesn’t care.

His door flies open. The printouts fly every which way. Mutsuki yelps.

“Would you like to get curry?” Urie asks gruffly. Saiko wanted him to “help Mucchy,” so here he is. “Oh, sorry.”

He grabs the papers. “Here.”

Sugar Test vs. Toothpaste Test.

Urie freezes.

Mutsuki cries out.

“Mutsuki?” Urie whispers.

Mutsuki trembles. He stares ahead, into nothing. He wants to break apart and die.

Urie places the papers on Mutsuki’s desk and, awkwardly, places a hand on Mutsuki’s shoulder. Suddenly, the demolition of Torso’s corpse seems too kind an end for that creature. “Are you sure?”

Mutsuki bursts into tears. He claps a hand over his mouth to cover his wails.

“It’s not your fault. It’s not, Mutuski. Tooru.” Urie is shaking with horror.

“Help me,” Mutsuki gasps. “Please.”

“I will!” Urie fights back tears. He’s always suspected, but, to know that Torso raped Mutsuki…He wishes he could light Saeki on fire.

“It’s my fault, it’s my fault, please help me. I’m so evil. I want to die.” Mutsuki recalls his parents, his father, his lies, the cat… He’s as evil as they come. Someone like him is raped twice because he deserves it, right?

“Stop it.” Urie shakes him. “It’s not your fault. I wish – I would have rather it been me, Mutsuki. I am going to help you. Now, have you taken a legitimate test?”

Mutsuki shakes his head.

“Okay.” Urie blushes. “I’ll buy you one. Can you hold on for 20 minutes?”

Mutsuki nods.

Urie hugs him. It’s awkward and passionate and oh-so-Urie. Mutsuki’s heart rate slows.

When Urie returns, he sees that Mutsuki hasn’t moved. “I, uh, bought three. Just in case.”

Mutsuki has to laugh. “Of course you did.”

Urie smirks, pleased that Mucchan can joke right now. He hands him the bag. “Here. I’ll wait outside. And, uh – Mutsuki – if it’s positive, I will help you end it if you want.”

Mutsuki nods, miserable again.

But when he emerges, his hands are shaking. “It’s – negative. All three.”

Urie gasps. “Tooru!” He holds out his hands. “I’ll hide the boxes.”

“Thank you.” Mutsuki smiles slightly. He feels embarrassed that Urie knows, and for nothing.

“Tooru. It isn’t your fault.”

“This is the second time I’ve been raped, Urie.” Mutsuki dissolves into more tears.

Urie feels cold. “Second?!”

“My – my dad.” Mutsuki shakes with memories. “There has to be something I did.”

“Not in the slightest.” Urie now wants to cheer on the ghouls who killed Mucchan’s family. Fuck this shit. “Fuck the patriarchy. Fuck the world. This isn’t your fault. It’s Torso’s and your Dad’s and maybe mine for not getting there sooner. Tooru, you deserve the world.”

Mutsuki shakes his head. “I can’t see it.”

“I can. Let me show you.” Urie smiles down at Mutsuki. His eyes are kind, smart, and sincere. He doesn’t want to prey on Mutsuki.

Mutsuki feels safe with Urie.

“Curry?” Urie offers his hand.

“I can’t eat!” Mutsuki blurts out. Kill me.

Urie blinks rapidly. Does misery never end for Mutsuki? “Okay. One problem at a time. Let me dispose of these – I’ll find Takeomi’s trash or something. Then I’ll be back and we’ll talk more.”

“I’m not abandoning you, not ever,” he adds.

And Mutsuki – he can’t help but believe Urie.

May I ask for a sfw+nsfw thing with :re Juuzou x Seidou or Seidou x Juuzou? I love your work so much it brings me happiness that you’ve done so many pairings for people. You really are wonderful for bringing people’s ships to life c’: ((bless ya soul, you’re like an angel that was sent to the tg community))

Awww thank you. ❤

“Why do you like me?” Seidou shakes his head.

“You remind me of me.” Juuzou pops more candy into his mouth.

Seidou can’t help but feel envy. He misses sugar.

“I used to kill, kill, kill too. I mean, I still kinda do.” Juuzou frowns. “Akira once said empathy is something I need to learn.”

“That, uh, sounds like Akira,” Seidou says with a laugh.

Juuzou grins. “Well, that makes you kinda like my project. I can empathize with you.”

“Juuzou, referring to people as a project is not considered nice.” Seidou bristles.

“Really?” Juuzou frowns.

Seidou bangs his head on the table. “God fucking dammit. I never would’ve thought you would be reaching out to me. I wasn’t exactly nice to you when I was normal.”

“Normal is boring.” Juuzou impatiently bites into his lollipop.

“Maybe.” Seidou shrugs.

Juuzou pecks him on the lips.

“Wait – what?!” Seidou splutters. “Juuzou!”

“You deserve a kiss, Seidou.” Juuzou speaks his name without disgust or hate. He’s just Seidou, his friend.

Seidou’s eyes mist, to his chagrin. Why didn’t he kiss him back? “Oops.”

Juuzou kisses him again, and Seidou reacts this time. He presses his lips against Juuzou, draws his friend closer to his chest.

“Wow,” says Juuzou.

“You’re so innocent.” Seidou rolls his eyes. Not that he’s wasn’t a never-been-kissed virgin two minutes ago, too. “Aren’t I repulsive?”

“I don’t think you’re gross. I like you.” Juuzou pulls off his shirt, revealing scar after scar from Big Madam.

Seidou scowls. “Who hurt you and can I kill them.”

“They’re gone now.” Juuzou doesn’t even seem happy about it.

Seidou pulls off his own shirt. He’s fairly muscular now, but his posture is terrible. He’d be grossed out by him. “Did that person make you into their plaything? I remember…I remember I felt like a lab experiment. I was, actually. And every time I behaved like a ghoul, I was praised. It was the only way to live.”

Juuzou runs a hand down Seidou’s chest. “I was Big Madam’s pet. In the restaurant. The more flashy the deaths, the less she hurt me. But she always hurt me. Every night. To prepare me.”

Juuzou looks sad. “Can I show you something?”

“Sure.”

Seidou watched Juuzou remove his pants and underwear.

He’s not surprised at what he sees – but his heart hurts. At least Kanou never castrated him. “Juuzou, I’m so sorry.”

Juuzou smiles sadly. “See, you’re not grotesque.”

“Neither are you.” Seidou kisses him again.

“Seidou, I can’t – I can’t make love. Ever.” Juuzou looks miserable.

“There are other ways.” Seidou rolls his eyes. “I can’t believe I, virgin extraordinaire, have to tutor you.”

Juuzou giggles. “Please do.”

Seidou eagerly removes his own pants. Juuzou seems fascinated by what’s beneath, and Seidou can’t help but feel pride. They explore each other for hours, and Seidou feels a rush of joy when Juuzou sighs with pleasure.

“See?” He smirks, and Juuzou kisses him again.