âHey there, big stuff.â Outside a dilapidated CCG, a clownish woman with a male physique flutters her fingers at him. She sits on the steps, surveying the chaos before them.
Sheâs one of the ones who showed up at the last second to save Kaneki Ken. One of the powerful ones.Â
Nico smirks at this bearded, dangerous Washuu. Who is almost too adorkable for words.
âH-hi.â Matsuri blushes and sits beside her. âYouâre one of the clowns.â
âGuilty. I worked with your uncle to take over CCG. Kinda glad you survived, though.â Nico points towards the remains of Kanekiâs kakuja. âI had no idea dragon was this destructive.â
âWould that have stopped you?â Matsuri growls.
âNo,â Nico admits. âI think tragedies are beautiful.â
âLife is a tragedy. The happy moments are whatâs beautiful.â Matsuri shakes his head. Like whenever he and Yoshitoki connected for even a moment. That was beautiful.
âI think pain is beautiful.â Nico smiles.Â
âI think you deserve better,â Matsuri says, surprising even himself.Â
âHa.â Nico smiles wryly. âSays the man who was too afraid of his family to live life on his own terms.â
âGuilty,â Matsuri echoes.
Nico giggles. âOh really? Wanna be guilty of more?â
Matsuri raises an eyebrow. âJust what do you have in mind.â
Nico leaps to her feet and pulls him to standing. âOh, youâll see.â
âAnother letter?â Yoshitoki asks with interest.
âMmmhmmm.â Matsuri scuttles upstairs. Yoshitoki will not be happy to hear that his son has been seduced by a beautiful German artist named Rolf MĂŒller, and even though heâs back in Japan, Rolf writes to him every week.
Rolf offers to visit, but Matsuri forces himself to refuse. Tsuneyoshi will hate to have someone queer in the family. Rolf will die.Â
My beloved Matsuri,
How are you?
Is this okay? Matsuri recalls Rolf running his fingers through his hair and inviting him into his bedroom.
I know Japan is difficult for you. Family legacies and all. But donât you remember?Â
Matsuri remembers Rolf buying him coffee. Taking long walks together. Visiting Auschwitz and vomiting afterwards. And Rolf telling him itâs okay, itâs a good response, and Matsuri couldnât tell him that he fears his family is engaging in their own genocide.Â
Matsuri, I know. It wasnât hard to investigate the truth about the Washuus and Gehennas.Â
Matsuri sucks in his breath. Rolf knows?
I love you. I donât blame your secrecy.
Matsuri blames himself, even if Rolf doesnât.
Arenât you ever going to write back?Â
Tsuneyoshi would kill someone like Rolf. For family honor. For secrecy.
Matsuri presses his hands against his eyes. He wants to respond I LOVE YOU TOO!!! And draw kisses all over the paper. He wants to seek Rolfâs advice on his family.
Love,Â
Rolf
But for Rolfâs sake, he canât.
So he slides the paper under his mattress with the dozen other letters heâs received. Maybe someday heâll burn them. Right now, heâd rather keep them close, to remind himself of Rolf.Â
Awwww thank you. Pregnancy stories are my favorite because ANGST.Â
âYou sick?â Ayato sticks his head in their bathroom door. Fuck privacy, his s/o is vomiting for the second time this week.
âNo,â they say, wiping their mouth.
âI smell puke, [Name].â He makes a face.
âI said Iâm fine!â
Ayato is hurt, though he wonât show it. âFine then. Have it your way. But, as an executive, I better not see you on a mission today.â
He stalks away, and almost misses their weak reply, âIâm pregnant.â
Ayato freezes, his hand on the doorknob. âWhat?â
âI said I am pregnant.â His S/O slumps to the tiled floor. Fat tears roll down their cheeks.
âAre – are you sure?â Ayato begins to shake.
They nod.
âI – I canât – I wonât be Arata! I canât do that to a kid!â he shrieks. â[Name], Iâm begging you: get rid of it.â
His s/o looks shocked.Â
Isnât she relieved? He doesnât want her to bear this burden.
âI donât know if I want to! I ⊠I actually might want it,â they plead. âAnd anyhow, donât tell me what to do.âÂ
Ayato turns red. âI wasnât.â
âAyato, you just told me to get rid of it.â
âI donât want to be a dad. Iâll be awful. Youâll be in danger.â Ayato runs a hand through his hair. âIf – if someone finds out an Aogiri executive has a family – â
âToukaâs gonna kill you, and thatâs what youâre afraid of,â his S/O shoots back.Â
Ayato cowers. He knows theyâre right. âIâm sorry.â
âDamn right you are,â they say with a slight smile. He smiles back.
âWill you leave me if I keep it?â
Ayato gasps. âNo! No, [Name], never.â He crosses the room to wrap his arms around them. âIâll never leave you. Iâm just scared, thatâs all.â
They embrace him back. âMe too.â
He holds them – and his blossoming child – in his arms. And for a moment, he thinks maybe he can do this after all.Â