Furuta and his s/o prank war?

How is this not canon?

– Furuta strikes first. Probably using his kagune to trip them down the stairs so that they fall into his arms.

– s/o then switches all his underwear with lingerie.

– this does not bother him.

– s/o then puts cockroach cutouts in a lampshade in his office. Furuta is appalled.

– so he puts googly eyes on all of their refrigerator items.

– his s/o takes it to a new level by covering his soap with clear nail polish. He becomes very confused in the shower until his s/o pops their head int he shower and asks how he’s doing with an utterly evil smile. 

– he’s actually impressed. their punishment is joining him for the remainder of his shower.

Since ghouls seem to each have a unique scent, and I suppose it an be inferred that someone biologically female would smell different than someone biologically male, so… Some of the newer/younger Aogiri recruits putting their foot in their mouth in regards to Tatara, to the point where Eto threatens to eat them all, maybe~? Or, it that’s too awkward, then just what each of the ghoul characters scent is like, gender completely aside~ <3

Yes, I think this is canon! isn’t Kaneki said to smell like a female ghoul in the original TG, because he has Rize’s kakuhou? 

For those reading, in this scenario, Tatara is trans.

“I never expected someone so tall to be a girl,” says Torso, glancing up and down Tatara. 

“I’m not,” Tatara says, keeping his usual icy demeanor.

As soon as Tatara leaves the room, Eto drifts over to their newest recruit. 

“Hi there, Misogynist,” she purrs in his ear, leaping up to drape an arm over his shoulder. “Let’s not add transphobia to the list of your misdeeds.”

“I didn’t…”

“Look, you’ve heard us use male pronouns for Tatara. You mess up Tatara’s gender again, I’ll eat you,” Eto says, punctuating with a giggle. “Get it?”

“Uh – yes, of course!” Torso stammers, sweating.

“Good.” Eto slinks away. “I’m looking forward to your better behavior.” 

Can you do hcs for Hanbee where he watches a horror movie with his so and his so isn’t scared but he is and he’s nervous to ask if he can cling to them! I love my y’all quiet baby.

Hanbee is inherently lovable.

– Hanbee first pretends he’s not afraid at all, until he feels beads of cold sweat appearing on his forehead.

– His s/o feels him flinch as the creepy clown pops out of the drain, and they begin to hope he’ll ask to cuddle.

– his s/o will probably try joking to calm him down.

– At his second jump, Hanbee finally caves. “M – m – may – may I hold on to you?”

– “I thought you’d never ask.” They take him in their arms and hold him tight.

– At one point, they are going to have to ask him to loosen their grip so they can breathe, however. 😛 

Okay, but hear me out! Mafia au, with Uta, Nico, Itori, Donato, Yomo, Kaneki and the Kirishima siblings! Full on suit and suspenders, sharp-looking and brutal!

Donato – the old henchman. Brutal enforcer. deeply misses the son the government deemed him unfit to parent. 

Touka – was once a child of a man killed by the mafia. She now lives with her uncle and tries to avoid their destruction, but is pulled back in after rescuing Kaneki Ken from being killed due to mistaken identity. 

Ayato – has joined the mafia to get revenge for his dad.

Yomo – a former hitman, now raising his niece and nephew. Occasionally hooks up with his old flame from mafia days.

Kaneki – After countless suffering, establishes the Goat Mafia in an attempt to promote peace.

Uta – Yomo’s old flame, an inwardly despairing hitman who stays in the life because he’s has no identity otherwise. 

Itori – the sly, seductive daughter of the mafia boss. Despite her dad’s wishes, she’s joined the hitmen. 

idk about u but i like to think of uihai’s first kiss like this: it was after a christmas party at a colleagues house, and they were waiting outside for their different taxis and having a conversation which somehow gets to where ui jokes if hed got drunk, he might have made out with someone which makes hairu laugh and then she kisses him and leaves hum in a daze (i know you have a ton of asks rn so please take as long as you need to get here)

Ui: wait did that just happen? Did my bad pickup lines work? *goggles*

Hairu: *shrugs, dances away*

Ui: *rushes after her.* NO WAIT. D – did you – did you mean it?

Hairu: Of course, Koori.

Ui: kisses her again and cries because this is all he wanted for Christmas. 

Taxi driver: I’m sorry to interrupt but aren’t I supposed to be picking up one of you?

Hirako: *hides on porch and films the ensuing chaos*

Any headcanons for Suzu-chan and Nimura with a s/o who is a really good pianist?

This is old and I am sorry for forgetting it!

Suzuya Juuzou

– insists that they teach him. *proceeds to bang repeatedly on keys*

– sometimes cries at how beautiful their compositions are.

– Whenever he’s having a bad memory of the restaurant or Big Madam, his s/o plays soothing music to distract him. He’s very grateful.

– brags about them all the time.

Nimura Furuta

– slyly listens to their music outside their door, even though they’ve told him that listening makes them versus.

– one day, he slides onto the bench besides them and begins playing alongside. They’re stunned to realize he’s actually pretty proficient at the piano.

– He begrudgingly admits that they’re much better, though.

– they kiss. Furuta probably wants to do other things atop the piano, too. 

Um

How do I ask you for a post I’m kinda new here?

^^^a submission

Hi there submitter! Welcome!!!

So, there’s an ask link, but it’s taken down for what will probably be two weeks. I have >300 asks. 😛 

You may still submit your own posts, if you like. Otherwise, I will open asks again in 2ish weeks. 

Ok, so how would all of the CCG investigators (especially the special class ones) react to a really bubbly rank 3 investigator going around the office and handing out gold stars with little positive quotes written on them?

Sasaki Haise/Kaneki Ken – aw so sweet! *frames his* 

Amon Koutarou – quietly touched

Takizawa Seidou – What do I need this shit for? *keeps it in his pocket, develops a crush on the investigator*

Mado Akira – thanks them solemnly 

Houji Kousuke – uh okay *reads way too much into the quote, looses sleep over it*

Mado Kureo – Ha! You better toughen up before ghouls eat you. 

Marude Itsuki – *tapes it to his motorcycle* 

Washuu Yoshitoki – reads it with a small smile on his face

Washuu Matsuri – *reads quote hoping it’s actually a fortune about his future with Urie* 

Washuu Tsuneyoshi – time to kill this one.

Kuriowa Takeomi – I should do this to Yoriko and her workers in the bakery! 

Kuriowa Iwao – you’re a lovely person, you know?

Aura Kiyoko – kindness like yours is all too rare

Tanakamaru Mougan – is happy to be remembered 

Shinohara Yukinori – a lump forms in his throat 

Itou Kuramoto – returns the favor, only with a creepy quote as a joke

Hajime Hazuki – ew. this is shit. 

Mayazumi – cries in a corner

Ihei Hairu – SOMEONE LOVES ME

Arima Kishou – Thanks them stiffly, but his heart is warm

Ui Koori – Eh, how odd. *finds himself warming up to the investigator despite his reservations* 

Take Hirako – omg they drew a shiba on mine that made my day –

Arima Yusa – you are too sweet 

Ihei Shio – yay! *dances with his card pressed over his heart* 

Souza Rikai – decorates her card to transform it into a true art piece 

Suzuya Juuzou – that’s nice but i wish it was candy instead 

Keijin Nakarai – oh, that’s thoughtful. *throws it into recycling for reasons of practicality*

Hanbee Abara – bashful 

Miyuki Mikage – grins at his alien quote

Mizurou Tamaki – strikes up a friendship with the investigator 

Yonebayashi Saiko – Let’s be besties!

Shirazu Ginshi – *turns red*

Urie Kuki – meh *gives it to mutsuki* 

Mutsuki Tooru – t-thanks 

Hsaio Ching-Li – people really can be kind

Aura Shinsanpei – becomes shy around the investigator 

Higemaru Touma – this is a great idea! more people should do it!

Furuta Nimura – Someone…actually…wants to inspire me? *unsure whether to laugh or cry*

I like the Arima x Minami hcs! I never thought I would ship them, so thanks. What about headcanons concerning Minami, part time V agent in the ghoul world, part time liason between the CCG’s Reaper and the One-Eye Owl, part time model housewife. (She was obsessed with being a model student as a teenager, I can’t imagine her not turning the same dedication to be a model housewife had she the chance to grow old and marry).

– Minami and Eto would be not only allies, but best friends. Eto would hear about every quirk of Arima’s, every argument, every kiss. And she’d love it, until she brought it up to Arima’s face and he nearly died of embarrassment.

– Then Eto loved it even more.

– Minami would probably notice Furuta’s issues, but unlike her husband, she might actually act on her concerns and thereby avert some tragedy.

– If she discovered Arima’s plan to be killed by Kaneki, Minami would absolutely destroy his plan to keep him alive. She’s determined to find a cure for his condition.

– Minami would probably make Sasaki Haise very, very uncomfortable. Little comments here and there, a queer smile, a pointed look. Just enough to keep him guessing that she and Arima aren’t what they seem.

– She would also probably encourage our dear Ui to tell Hairu about his feelings. Mother-style. 

– As her comings-and-goings aren’t as well-recorded as Arima’s, she’s able to sneak information to the Owl much more often than Arima is. 

If the ask box isnt closed yet, can you maybe write something about your character sexuality headcanons?

I’ve sorted the characters according to their introductory affiliation.

Anteiku/Re Affiliates

Kaneki Ken – bisexual

Nagachika Hideyoshi – bisexual

Yoshimura Kuzen – straight

Kamishiro Rize – pansexual 

Kirishima Touka – straight

Koma Enji – bisexual

Irimi Kaya – bisexual

Yomo Renji – gay

Kosaka Yoriko – straight

Hinami Feuguchi – straight

Nishiki Nishio – straight but curious

Nishino Kimi – straight but curious

Tsukiyama Family

Tsukiyama Shuu – pansexual

Karren von Rosewald – Tsukiyama-sexual 

Matsumae – lesbian 

Mirumo – pansexual

Chie Hori – asexual

Clowns

Uta – bisexual

Itori – straight

Hoito Roma – straight

Nimura Furuta – he says he is straight, but insists a bit too much.

Rio/Shikorae – bisexual 

Nico – bisexual, leans towards men 

Donato Porpora – straight

Aogiri Tree

Kirishima Ayato – straight

Yamori – gay

Tatara – gay

Yoshimura Eto – bisexual

Noro – straight

Miza Kusakari – straight

Naki – straight

Hakatori – straight

Banjou Kazuichi – straight

CCG

Amon Koutarou – straight

Takizawa Seidou – straight

Mado Akira – straight

Houji Kousuke – gay

Mado Kureo – straight

Marude Itsuki – gay

Washuu Yoshitoki – bisexual

Washuu Matsuri – gay

Washuu Tsuneyoshi – straight and extremely insistent upon that. 

Kuriowa Takeomi – straight

Kuriowa Iwao – straight

Aura Kiyoko – lesbian

Tanakamaru Mougan – gay

Shinohara Yukinori – straight

Itou Kuramoto – bisexual

Kurona Yasuhisa – demisexual 

Arima Squad

Ihei Hairu – straight

Arima Kishou – bisexual

Ui Koori – straight

Take Hirako – bisexual

Suzuya Squad

Suzuya Juuzou – pansexual 

Keijin Nakarai – straight

Hanbee Abara – gay

Miyuki Mikage – straight but curious 

Mizurou Tamaki – straight

Quinx Squad

Yonebayashi Saiko – bisexual

Shirazu Ginshi – straight

Urie Kuki – gay

Mutsuki Tooru – gay

Hsaio Ching-Li – lesbian 

Aura Shinsanpei – straight

Higemaru Touma – straight