what are some headcannons of urie’s reaction to finding out sasaki is married (cause that means his two greatest “enemies” are married before him) will this just harden his resolve to confess to mutsuki?

– Urie: Oh no. No! Fuck. Fuck this shit. Help! 

– Immediately contemplates falling his knees before Mutsuki right then and there. With Touka, Kaneki, Tsukiyama, and Saiko watching.

– But then he gets very scared that Mutsuki will reject him. That there’s something wrong with Urie. So he vacillates back and forth between what to do. 

– While Urie is scratching his head and internally melting down, Mama Touka notices what’s going on and drags him outside Kaneki’s room for a confrontation.

– “How did you tell Kaneki about your feelings?” Urie will whine. “I asked him if he was a virgin,” Touka will reply.

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– Once Urie.exe has recovered from his horror, they will realize that Ayato has been standing behind them the whole time. 

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– Ayato and Urie will make a pact to confess to their respective beloveds, to be enforced by Touka.