Matsuri strips and declares his love for Sasaki/Kaneki in his office instead of for Urie. He stalks after Sasaki to profess his undying feelings and inadvertently encounters Tsukiyama. Both are quick to pick up on the others passionate and theatrical personality and see a rival in the other for Sasaki/Kaneki’s love. Meanwhile Kaneki/Sasaki is actually secretly seeing Mutsuki

Okay but am I the only one desperate to see Tsukiyama and Matsuri interact? The DRAMA!

“I will do everything for you…KANEKI KEN!” Matsuri rips off his shirt and stalks across his office. 

He must find Kaneki. Kiss him. Tell him his feelings. Kiss him again. 

Kaneki will help bring down the Washuu’s toxic masculinity. Kaneki will accept him as a good man.

Matsuri rushes towards Goat’s last known location, a cafe called :Re.

“Wait, wait, wait. Just who are you, ma chere?” An elegant man pushes Matsuri back as soon s he rings the door, sweating, out of breath, and lacking most of his clothing.

“Fiend! Do you not work for Kaneki Ken? I must see him!” cries Matsuri.

The tall man’s eyes gleam. “Is that so? Tres bien! May the best man win!”

He sweeps down in a bow before Matsuri. “Tsukiyama Shuu, at your service, rival.” 

“Washuu Matsuri,” Matsuri stammers, suddenly afraid. Tsukiyama. The one they tried to kill.

Tsukiyama glares at him as recognition finally dawns on his face. 

After a moment of staring, they both dash for the back of :Re.

“What the fuck?!” yells :Re’s manager. She’s probably a pretty girl. Matsuri wouldn’t know. 

“Kaneki my pet,” wails Tsukiyama, throwing open a door to an office.

“Kaneki, my fire, my love, my life!” shrieks Matsuri.

Kaneki sits bolt upright in his chair. The chair he’s straddling with Mutsuki Tooru.

All four men scream.