crack head cannon: ken kaneki’s full name is kenneth kaneki and touka calls him kenneth when she is mad, annoyed, or as a last resort when she repeatedly tries to get his attention. Quinx squad witness it for the first time and they think its the funniest shit cause he’s never heard of sasaki’s real full name before that.

“I’m hungry,” Touka mumbles, rubbing her swollen belly. She reclines on the sofa in the Chateau, feeling like a beautiful whale. She’s eight months pregnant and not very happy right now. But Saiko and Hsaio just did her toenails, and she’s never had nail polish before. 

Mutsuki leaps to his feet, but Touka shakes her head. “Let Ken handle it.”

Kaneki is conferring with Higemaru and Urie across the room.

“Ken?” Touka calls. 

He doesn’t appear to hear over Higemaru’s excited chatter. 

“He’s literally showing Kaneki his monster drawings,” Aura says. 

“Ken.” Touka narrows her eyes and clears her throat. “KENNETH!”

Kaneki jumps. “Touka? Is it time? What’s wrong?” 

“I want Rc chips.” Touka pouts. 

“Coming right up!” He putters into the kitchen, and Saiko finally releases her peals of laughter.

“Kenneth?” Aura cries in disbelief. “You’ve got to be shitting me.”

“Like the Barbie doll?” Urie grins wickedly.

“Yup.” Touka holds a finger to her lips. “Don’t tell him I told you.”

So of course, the moment Kaneki hurries back into the den, all the Quinx chime in, “Hiiiiiii Kenneth.”