Crack head cannon (which is really just a contraction of a previous crack head cannon): Ui Koori doesn’t help with the rumors surrounding the Quinx mentor, and to anyone that askes, he’ll tell them it’s cruella deville’s psychotic cousin

It begins with an un-caffeinated Ui, out of cigarettes and fresh out of bed. 

“Ui, who is Sasaki?” asks Yusa. 

“Cruella DeVille’s psychotic cousin,” Ui grumbles.

Yusa’s eyes widen, and he races off. Ui slides into his seat, not thinking much of their exchange.

An hour later, Shio appears. “Ui sir, who is Sasaki?”

“The Quinx Leader,” Ui says simply.

Shio pouts. “Why are you boring with me? You told Yusa something funny!”

“I did?” Ui thinks for a second. “Hmm…okay, Sasaki is Maleficent’s brother. Complete with the dragon.” 

Shio claps his hands in approval.

Rikai is only five minutes behind Shio. “Who is Sasaki?”

“The personification of decaf coffee and e-cigarettes,” Ui replies, staring straight into her eyes.

Finally, he can get back to work. 

“Kooriiiiiii,” sings a voice. Hairu waltzes in, and Ui brightens immediately. “I have something for you.”

“Yes?”

Hairu holds out a sugar cube.

Ui takes it eagerly, but gags after it settles on his tongue. “Hairu!”

“It’s a salt cube! Just like you,” Hairu cheers. 

“You heard what I was saying about Sasaki, didn’t you?” Ui complains, spitting out the cube.

“Yup.” Hairu softens. “Be nice, okay, Salt-senpai?” She offers him two more cubes. “I promise these are real sugar this time.”