Utas lover doubting his feelings are sincere considering his involvement with the clowns and other shady activities, so he tries to be genuine but fails miserably

Uta can tell that something is wrong by his lover’s sudden silence. But he figures they will come to him when they feel like it. 

Finally, at night, he sees them sitting in bed, biting their lip.

“Yes?” he prompts.

“Do you love me?” they demand. “Aw, shit. That came out harsher than I intended.”

Uta’s stomach is doing a dance. “What did you intend, then?”

“You say you live for amusement, Uta. I’m not the most amusing person. Is…is all I am a distraction? An amusement to trick, to fuck and to tease?” His lover catches their breath. “Would you cast me away like you did Mr. Yoshimura, hmm?”

Uta’s mouth drops. After a moment to collect himself, he grabs their hands and pulls them atop him. They can look down into his tattooed eyes. They can be in charge. 

“No.” He can be vulnerable now, with them.

“It’s true I’m lonely. It’s true I love mischief. But I also don’t feel lonely with you. I mean it.” 

“You’re also trying to seduce me,” they shoot back.

“I’m multitasking?”

His lover hops off him. “Uta, I’m confused.”

“Okay, okay, okay.” He sits up again. “Let’s talk. For real, this time.”